I don't set strict curfews for mine. I can't because of her activities. sm
Posted By: LMT on 2008-09-11
In Reply to: survey on sixteen year old girl curfews - sm - momofteen
How do you all work around school activities and curfews? My 16-yod works, is varsity cheerleader, tennis player, in theater, etc. Even school activities like away games sometimes it is like midnight or later before they get home. As long as she is keeping up her grades and I know where she is at all times, I pretty much let her be. She has a cell and I know I can call her at any moment to get a hold of her. She lets me know the plans ahead of time so I can know when to expect her home. She is the one that suffers if she doesn't get enough sleep. I may be wrong but I believe in being too strict too. In my town, they have midnight bowling for teens and a lot of the kids get together after football games and watch movies. These to me are much better than being at some party and as long as she is behaving, I let her go. We have a very open communication though and she tells me just about everything so I don't worry. I am proud to have a 16-yo virgin at this time which is more than I can say for myself. If she has no specific activity planned, her curfew is midnight but that is very rare. I think there are a lot of varieties and things to take into consideration especially individual personality of the teen as well as school activities and the friends they hang out with.
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Do strict low carb of 20 a day and exercise -
That weight will come off and you will be well on your way by August if you do cardio exercise and also do weightlifting. I lost 20 pounds on low carb 4 years ago and have kept it off, though I normally eat around 50 carbs a day now and NO refined carbs whatsoever. You have plenty of time. You can do it!!!
extracurricular activities
Question:
The absolute meanest girl or woman you ever knew in your life was a __________ (doctor, cheerleader, rocket scientist, receptionist, trumpet player, preachers's wife....etc.)
Youngest has activities
My youngest is going to summer camp at her school for two weeks (it's pretty expensive and that was all we could afford) and then the rest of the time she'll be outside playing with friends and swimming in our pool. My oldest is going to be swimming, having friends over and watching her sister for me while I work. We also have a vacation planned and her friend is visiting for a week from Florida. The summer usually flies by no matter what the kids are doing. It doesn't always have to be so structured.
kids and summer activities
None of my daughter's friends have anything scheduled for them to do over the summer. No vacations, no classes, not even a visit to grandma. A couple of kids have swimming classes, but that is it. My husband thinks that everyone is broke. But I am horrified to think that you would keep kids home from school for 10 weeks with nothing to do but watch TV.
All living in my house have curfews.
My youngest is 19 and lives at home. He has a curfew. He tried the now-that-I'm-18-I-don't-gotta-do-what-you-say stuff but I packed a WalMart bag with his deodorant and his stinky tennis shoes and took my house and car keys off his key ring and told him he couldn't live here if he didn't respect the rules.
He wandered around with friends for a couple of hours then very apologetically came back and we haven't had any trouble since.
You are not too hard. If she wants to make her own rules, she needs to support herself. Adult decisions should be made by adults - that means supporting herself.
We did curfews for a couple of reasons
Our 3 oldest kids are in their 30s now. Here's what we did with them and will do with the 2 teenagers when they finish high school.
CURFEWS - absolutely because 1) with the layout of our house they had to walk right by our room to get to theirs and we had to get up early to work to support the household
2) we both believe there's nothing good going on after midnight
3) the kids were always welcome to have friends over or be on the phone on weekend nights
4) the kids were expected to get up in the mornings and go to jobs or help with chores or the younger kids or whatever. Nobody got a free ride from high school graduation on.
Did we have a few skirmishes? Sure. But if there was a particular reason to be out, a movie, concert, then we were flexible.
We all survived it and we will with the younger two as well. You and yours will too. Just remember to keep the most important thing - your sense of humor.
curfews and adult children
We went through this with both our kids, and repeatedly I tried to get it through their heads (okay, thick skulls, lol!) that I worry about their safety, that I NEED to know that they're safe. I told them also that their driving privileges could be revoked if I saw fit (I'm not sure they believed I would actually do that, though, and I ended up never needing to go that far). But the main thing that I think finally got through to them is that I really do genuinely worry. I can't sleep peacefully when they're home from college or home visiting now, if they're not back under the roof here when they say they will be. (I don't have as big an issue with that when they're at college or living in their own place; then, a once weekly call is enough to keep my quiet!) I've also been known to ask for extra contact numbers of their friends, in case their cell phone dies or they lose it or whatever (yes, it has happened, and the extra contact numbers have come in handy). But the agreement with the extra contact numbers is that I won't use them unless there is a true emergency here or they haven't checked in at their agreed upon frequency. They don't want me to embarrass them to their friends because Mommy is checking up on them.
Whether it is safe for an 18-year-old to be out after midnight is perhaps a relative question - relative to where you live, what the night-life in your area is like, how many deer cross the backroads randomly during deer season, whether you live in an urban area with a lot of party clubs that 18yo kids don't need to be tempted to visit, etc. You get the idea.
But first and foremost, get it through her head that you need to know that she is safe, that she needs to check in with your regularly if she's going to be out late.
As for my kids - we got through those rocky years, and now when I go to visit them, they expect ME to call THEM to let them know that I arrived home safely. Life is good!
We had no curfews for our adult children.
And I consider 18 an adult.
As each of our children reached age 18, we had a frank discussion with them and laid out what we expected of them. We told them that they were now basically non-paying roommates. Because we loved them and wanted to give them a boost into adult life, we kept our home open to them, paid their living expenses, and supported them in pursuit of their dreams. But as parents, we worry. All curfews and restrictions were dropped the day they turned 18. They didn't have to tell us where they were going or what they were doing. But we asked that they not worry us. We requested that they give us approximate times of coming and going. I needed to know whether they would be eating with us, and basically at what hour I should start worrying if they hadn't returned home. I also asked that since we were paying their tuition (high school and college) that they keep good grades. Our first son was not a great student, and we told him that we did not consider paying his way to college a good investment of our hard-earned money. We asked him to prove his seriousness by working, attending community college full-time and paying the community college tuition himself. He did that, received good grades, and then transferred to a state university with our blessing and tuition assistance. Since our sons drove our cars, we told them that we would not allow them the use of our car if they stayed out later than expected without calling home or had any driving issues, or God forbid, drinking. Any major infractions, drugs, drinking, legal issues, and we'd close our home to them, as well.
The discussion was very honest. They told us what they wanted from us, too, which was to be treated as adults. That was fine with us. We gave them quite a bit. A place to live, a car to drive, an education, and respect. They gave us respect in return, and actually never stayed out very late. On occasion, if stayed out longer on weekends, they called or left text messages so that we wouldn't worry if their plans went later than expected.
Children need to learn to act like adults. We have to treat them as adults, but it's also fine to give them a bit of help as they head out into the world on their own. If your child is a responsible teenager, likely the transition to adulthood won't be so bumpy (but do expect a few bumps). Just sit down and talk about expectations, listen to your child, and come to an agreement. I think that I enjoy my adult relationship with my children much more than I did when they were young. And after all, if we live out even an average life span, we will know our children as adults much longer than we know them as children. Best to get use to them being adults!
survey on sixteen year old girl curfews - sm
Just taking a survey from all you parents of 16 yo girls out there...what is your curfew for your teen? Do you let her go out during the school week? If so, how often and what time does she need to be back? What about Friday and Saturday nights? Thanks for participating.
Don't know about your God, but mine
my God is more forgiving than that!
She is not doing anyone any harm, so to say she will burn in h*** for celebrating the fun part of Halloween, not evilness, is the whole reason I do not attend church!
I never did it with mine. For one, I would have been
too embarrassed. My mother used to do it, but we have come a long way since then. I find it kind of primitive. I think nothing is wrong with it in your own home, but in public, I really think you should think about it. There are all kinds of weirdos out there and you just don't know what is in their minds. I see nothing wrong with breastfeeding INSIDE YOUR HOME, but there are folks who would get offended by doing it in public. I would not be offended, but really...I think you could put some of that breast milk in a bottle before you go out.
Mine is up
and FAKE -- Me and my fam are all allergic!
Have red/white/blue/silver these. Looks awesome. Have lights up outside too!!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Mine would be...
Laxatives
Laytex gloves
a metal detector
mine too
have to light a fire under his butt in an attempt to get him out of the house.
Mine did nothing at all, at least he went out and tried - sm
more than my DH did, though mine did ask me what I wanted, I told him, he told me to go buy it. This is typical for him. He used to get me beautiful jewelry for b-day, Christmas, annivarsary, that lasted for about 2 years or so, then it has been buy yourself what you want. I do not get bent (what is the point) though a little effort on his part would be nice. He did surprise me on our 10-year anniversary though this year, got me a beautiful opal necklace. As for the kids, my one daughter gave me 2 things, my other nothing, but she gives me wonderful drawings and such all the time, she just has a selfish streak I guess and does not think of others only herself. I just talked to her about this, maybe in the future she will remember our little talk and some good will come from it. My DH needs to learn somehow to have the kids get things for mom on special occasions, yours does too it seems. My neighbor has the same problem with her husband. Basically they are lazy people. He does none of the shopping, gift wrapping, packing to leave (except for his stuff of course), etc. He did buy 1 or 2 gifts, which I of course wrapped. This will probably never change until the kids are gone and he is an old man. I have seen it happen but not until grandchildren are on the scene and these men become model husbands for some reason, whether it is out of boredom or fear of the wife finally saying "I'm out of here, go fend for yourself", or they get struck my lightening, who knows, but beating yourself up about it is not the answer. If you are truly unhappy, get out, or kick him out. But if this is his "flaw" then either live with it, and buy yourself what you want each year or do something about it. It is your call how you deal with it.
mine went away
I had one on my nose for about a year and all of a sudden it just vanished and has never come back. It always bothered me because it was so ugly, but it never hurt and I didn't have to pay to zap it.
Two of mine have had and he will run
fever if he does not drink or eat the popsickles and get sicker. You probably know but you can cool him down with tepid water, try that. You will really have to keep up with you have to drink or eat cool, cold so he will not run that fever.
Yes, mine are
never and I mean never tempt fate. i could never say I was sick or someone else sick say if I wanted to be off from work, no, no, might come true. I have to knock on wood when I say something that is an iffy thing, don’t want to jink.
LOL, I had mine do just that
I gave him a testing tape. It took him hours to get through a page, typing with two fingers, with everything lumped together in one big paragraph, headings and all. Not to mention all the mistakes. lol He now says he has no idea how I do this. I told him I don't know either. : )
LOL! Mine does that too!
And I love how they can never puke/cough up hairballs on the tile, they always have to find a carpeted area (which stains). They can be in the middle of the tile kitchen and find the only rug!
Mine do that too! LOL!
I have tiles in my kitchen, bathroom, and laundry room, yet they decide to leave me presents in the living room or bedrooms where it is carpeted! I own a steam cleaner just for that purpose! LOL!
ok, here's mine...
Awesome: Ellen Degeneres (sp?)
Lame: Oprah
Mine is like that too. (sm)
I don't know why they so strongly believe that aggressive driving is good driving. DH always wants to drive or else he goes nuts, but when I occasionally end up being the driver, he needs to keep quiet so I can concentrate. Just because his BP is through the roof shouldn't mean mine has to be. Lately even when I'm the passenger I don't put up with it. As he starts up, complaining about traffic the moment we've pulled out of the driveway, I calmly remind him he'll live through it. He is starting to realize what a pain he is in the car.
Mine did this ONCE -
We were first married and actually WERE, uh, busy...You never saw someone hit the door running so fast. It never happened again. However, if I were you I would definitely lock my door and put up a sign asking everyone to please knock. It is YOUR house.
Here's how I got out of mine...
I called the cell phone company, said I was trying to cancel but got disconnected and had to call back. When the rep said I had to pay termination on both phones I said the previous rep said I only had to be for 1 phone disconnect fee. After going back and forth a little bit, the rep caved and only charged me for 1 disconnect fee. Worth a try. Good luck.
Mine
used to go on "business trips" and would never check in as well and came up with a world of reasons why. He was seeing other women. That also played a role in lowering my self-esteem, but now I look back and actually feel sorry for him. He's alone and will never have the respect or relationship I have with our children. It's just pitiful, but he made his bed.
I hope you have family you can talk to and get support from. If you need to email me, please feel free. I just know how you feel and I hurt for you right now, but I promise you, it'll all be okay.
Here are mine...sm
Knitting, crochet, cross stitch are my favorites, but the projects keep piling up in a corner because there is no time, and too tired to get through even 5 pages of a book at bedtime. Wish I had an adventure-filled life to blame it on. 
I got mine a GPS....sm
he gets lost VERY easily so I figured he'd love it.
mine are like that too.
The last time one of them was home he straightened out one my cupboards and they like to cook with me and play board or card games.
That is exactly how I fix mine, YUM! (nm)
x
First mine said he was gay
He deliberately married me for a "front" (he was in the military) and didn't bother to tell me he was gay until we'd been married 6 months. After years of confusion, he ended up having a sex change after marrying a second woman and having a child with her.
If you're lucky, he's just curious. But you really need to get the truth out of him, and be prepared for the worst. If he's really confused about his sexuality it may take him years to figure out who he "is" and what he really wants, so it may be difficult for him to tell you the truth because he might be in denial about it himself.
Mine was only 10 or 11, but she had - sm
aggressive, metastatic breast cancer that spread to her lungs. Vet said I would "know" when to have her PTS.
I knew when she didn't want to do anything but sit on the couch and stare off into space. No longer wanted food or attention, just occasional water, and kind of a blank stare. Was also out of breath all the time. So I had a long talk with her about it, and she just seemed to be saying, "Do it - I'm ready."
Well here's mine (sm)
I can lean on the slacker side sometimes too so here is what I do: get my tea- start half an hour early - read any interesting news on Yahoo, check and respond to emails, look at MTstars ;-) - just get that out of the way. Through the day I tell myself I can't switch over and check email or anything until I have done a certain number of minutes, etc., which earns me an email break. I also have motivational music on my computer - like The Blur's Woohoo! song that I play in between when I am doing things that don't require listening, like sending my work and things like that.
here's mine
 Life is good, I am SO blessed!
Mine is on my arm
I want a new one on my back but i'm afraid to get it done here; my one and only was done in Austin, Texas. Mine's pretty big, it takes up almost my entire upper arm.
yes, I got mine on 05/02
I was under the assumption that married people get 1200. Not true. We only got 600. The VA took 167.00 of it, so that left us with 433. Not exactly what I was expecting, but will come in handy.
I'd rather be where you are but here's mine:
http://www.arkansas.com/
Mine does this too
And I am in my 20s. I have them sometimes many times a day for a week straight or so. I am going to my cardiologist again soon but I assume it is nothing to worry about because they dont seem worried. I have a feeling they will do a Holter or something, but it is so hard to catch them because it seems it essentially just does it when it feels like it.
Mine is not like that but just as bad
After 25 years of being together he still has most of his stuff. He doesn't touch my stuff and I don't touch his. It is so hard to get him out of the mindset of keeping everything. He says there is a lot he wants to get rid of but the actuality of doing it? He can't bring himself to part with it even though he says he needs to lighten up.
Mine is....
"hisself" instead of himself. Drives me crazy.
Here goes mine..
ax instead of ask,
beedroom instead of bedroom (I think that's an Australian thing) or for that matter, betroom instead of bedroom
Daytawn instead of Dayton (& from residents too!)
The use of the f-word & the s-word in every other sentence... (if not every sentence)
The over-use of the word "basically" As in starting every other sentence, "Well, basically it's...."
Mine are:
warsh for wash (a common Hoosier-ism, I guess, but I still hate it)
liberry for library
chimbly for chimney
and my mother-in-law pronounces crayons "crins" 
Mine is 10 now
and of course he doesn't remember this anymore but my hubs asked him the other day if he wanted a hangaburger. He just thought his dad was weird. LOL Kids are so much fun.
Here's mine....see pic
I usually have a calico kitten sleeping on my notebook, but I'm not working this afternoon, so not sure where she is.
mine are not that age yet
thought about what i would do should that happen... i did it when i was young and i made some very poor choices during the time i smoked. though that's not happened yet, should it happen, i believe i would try to be with my kids as much as i possibly could. i would take them to school, i would pick them up, if they have a school function, guess what? mom's going too.
you know, when i was younger and did that, my parents DID have a clue... they may have wanted to act all naive but they KNEW.. and as ticked off at them as i would have been had they ever confronted me about it, i look back and truly wish they had and maybe shown some tough love. i think your son's father may be going overboard with wanting to kick him out.
the most important thing is, regardless of how you decide to deal with this, is to let him know how much you love him. bottom line is, if you didn't love him, you wouldn't care what he does.
Some of mine are.............sm
The Christmas Shows with Rob Lowe.
Santa and Pete with Hume Cronyn.
The Angel Doll with Keith Carradine.
The Santa Clause with Tim Allen
And my all-time favorite is It's a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart.
Here is mine...sm
It is Souper easy (I know, groan!). Chicken, beef or veggie stock (not broth), frozen veggies depending on mood, quite a bit of garlic and onion, frozen tortellini, and maybe some bits of meat (usually not), and herbs depending on the other ingredients being used. Amount depends on how many people are being fed. This is good for using up leftover veggies, chicken and beef, too.
Here's Mine.
Cornbread dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy made from the turkey drippings, green beans, and heat-n-serve rolls.
Here is mine....
..
Mine too! - They are probably all on an
island somewhere living a wonderful life and have left us here to deal with their replacements!
Please have your stranger come pick up my stranger on his way to this quest!
I'm 45, and mine is 26.
The sex is WOW. Best either of us has ever had. Mind blowing.
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