I don't know what to tell you, and as you well know
Posted By: Lllls on 2008-12-27
In Reply to: How do you decide to have a baby? - feeling selfish
this is a personal decision that only you and your partner can decide. For me, I knew that I wanted my children sooner than later. My father was 40 when I was born. I was very, very close to him, but he had health problems all of his life, and was gone by the time he was 61. That's fairly young, and you never know what will happen, but when he was dying, he said he had wished I knew him when he was young and healthy. He was such a dear man that I wouldn't trade the 21 years I had with him for 50 years with any other father. But, I did decide then that I wanted to be younger when I had children. I was 26 and 28 when my boys were born. I'm now 47 and they are grown. They are in college now, but my husband and I now have the time to do things for ourselves. In contrast, our neighbors are just a few years younger than us, and they have 5 and 7 year old children. My neighbor likes to say to me, "We did all of our living when we were young." Well, maybe, but I'm not dead yet! I'm having a good time still!
I also hope to be blessed with grandchildren some day, and I'd love to be reasonably active in their lives. Of course, there are no guarantees. But if my children start having kids within the next 10 years, and they seem to hope that marriage and children will happen in that time frame, I may also have a long time to know my grandchildren, as well. My maternal grandmother was a wonderful woman. She lived to be 96, and I was in my 40s when she passed away. How wonderful to have a grandmother at that age! She used to joke about being so blessed that she lived to see her own children collect social security!
So for me, the decision to have my children before I was 30 was a very good one.
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