I don't blame you for not wanting a woman
Posted By: Mia on 2009-02-07
In Reply to: Thank you, good ideas,but after29 years, I guess I am searching for something new..sm - Cyndiee
I am a massage therapist (not practicing right now), and I know how it can affect guys (when doing normal professional work ... nothing funky). - I doubt your hubby would be too keen on a male working on him though. : )
Maybe you could do a bit of a strip tease for him or even just whisper in his ear about how hot he is.
I'm just doing a simple, sweet card and a $5.00 scratch-off lottery ticket with a big heart on it ... and probably a bit of hanky-panky. Not to promote drinking, but if you are a bit inhibited, you could drink just a bit to take the edge off (a shot or so). We seem to have extra fun when I do that.
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I don't know, this post down below has me thinking. What are your thoughts, woman to woman. sm
If your spouse came to you and said he was having an affair, would you be more upset if it was with a male or female? For me, definitely a female! If it were male then I would think that it had absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I would be devastated if he were with another woman. Another poster below said she would be more upset if he were found with a male. What about you?
I have been wanting to do this, but may I ask...sm
Is the measurment taken over your existing bra or other clothing? Being shy, not sure I could go through with it otherwise. It seems like a really good idea, though.
I don't blame you (sm)
One bit for being mad. I would be too. It definitely doesn't seem fair. I mean, if this is common practice, you could spill coffee on your carpet and get all new. It really doesn't make sense.
By the way, I hope everything works out for you, and I'm very sorry about the trouble you are having. It sounds like a matter of insurance companies being bombarded with claims due to mass damage in your area, so they are getting stingy with their pay outs. Definitely not fair. Is the state isnurance commissioner doing anything to help?
Please don't blame yourself. (sm)
I do not know if this has anything to do with your situation, but I thought I would share.
My mother experienced a similar situation in regards to my oldest sister (5 other siblings). The counselor told my parents that my sister was attention-seeking. She was in her 30s and married with children when they sought counselling together. She is now in her late 60s. Our mother is still living and in her late 80s, and my sister still has her moments.
"Birth order effect" is very interesting:
1st born must cope with the loss of attention to 2nd born.
2nd born must constantly cope with the attention-seeking 1st born.
3rd born must cope with a perfectionist 2nd born, and it keeps going on.
Our 38-year-old daughter also has her moments, but overall we have a very good mother/daughter relationship.
My opinion only, but I think a daughter's personality can be affected by the relationship with their dad. My husband was diagnosed with a passive-aggressive personality, and I do think our daughter was affected by his personality. But, instead of arguing with her, which is a trait of a PA personality seeking attention, I try to avoid conflict and praise her often, as she can be kind and loving, and God has been blessed her with many talents.
May God bless you and your daughter to experience a more loving relationship is my prayer.
I don't blame you
I saw one of those in my flower bed one time and almost had a heart attack. 
I do not blame you.
Maybe couples should fill out questionnaires before getting married that include questions about vacations as well as the usual concerns.
Oh yeah, I guess they probably cover that if you use one of those on-line dating services like e-harmony.
I don't blame you....
With all of that happening...your daughter's safety is #1. Even though she got suspended. I would still have her carry something like the pepper spray again for her protection just in case, but tell her to be extremely discrete about it and not show or tell anyone about it, not even her friends. You can never be too protective when it comes to your children, in my opinion. I would ask the people you are meeting with if it was their daughter what would they do? If your daughter is attacked, she may be scarred emotionally/mentally for the rest of her life. I have 4 of my own, and I would do anything to protect them. Your a good parent; I would have done the same thing.
I don't blame the mom
13 years old is too young to have a boyfriend.
I don't blame you for being really sm
mad and I sure wouldn't have anything to do with her anymore, but not everybody has a work ethic like that. My hubby has been doing work for friends for probably close to 40 years and WOULD NEVER EVER do something like that. Actually he underbids himself alot and is happy to do it for people What goes around comes around and it has for us in many many instances when we were on the end needing help.
Don't let this color your faith in people. You just had a bad experience like we all have had at one time or another for one reason or another. If it hadn't been this it would have been something else with the same people. It just took 7 years but it would have happened!
I don't blame you~
How aggravating that must be.. I hate dealing with people over the phone like that.. It stresses me to no end & I can't even work some days with that kind of junk.. hoping you are having a better day by now..
Should have been NOT wanting to work
NM
I have been wanting to try nutrisystem
and like you said it seems to be a no brainer but I was afraid of the expense and someone told me that the food was horrible. Is this true?
I understand you not wanting
to make excuses for his bad behavior...BUT, think of what message that would be sending to the daughter. It would be saying, you don't matter all that much around here. We don't respect you or any of your friends. Would you then expect her to have respect for others? The husband is an adult and should know how to conduct himself properly, if not, learn. I would have pulled out my own money and said, "Buy her what she would like to drink" and then I would have layed into him when the friend was gone. No, I wouldn't let him pull that cr*p around me again and treat my son or daughter with such disregard.
I can't imagine anyone wanting
to be contacted by you.
Wanting to invest but what to do
I would like to get input from others who have money in stocks, bonds and such. have some money that I would like to invest. I would like to find something that is not in any way financially unsound. I know I could put in the bank in a CD but do not think I would make as much on it if I used in other ways. Does anyone have any savings that are more or less safe proof and can you tell me what kind of investing you do. Thanks.
i concur, as far as you said as wanting her as my own doc; however,
I think with all the medical information we are bombarded with everynight on the evening and morning news, she is definitely one to listen to with at least one ear.
I think you are an inspiration for wanting to do this....sm
 I guess a lot of us can relate; I have 2 or 3 people from my past that have moved far away and I have no way of finding them right now, but please believe me, I truly want to do the same thing, go to them and make peace, to say be able to forgive each other and leave things on good terms. Regrets and guilts can slowly eat away, and it is good for your own personal health to do this, you must feel so much better. WE all mess up, we all need forgiveness now and then, or to grant forgiveness. You are a lovely person with integrity, honor, and caring to do this, such a lovely post to read!!!
I've been wanting one of those every since they came out.(nm)
x
we almost never eat out. re not wanting to cook,
when i just don't feel like or don't have time to cook, we have something quick, ie soup or sandwich or breakfast, ie eggs or waffles.
Wanting a vacation now
My husband never wanted to go on any vacations. So, when the kids were young, my kids and I went on a vacation every year. We either drove or one time took the train to the Grand Canyon from Chicago. Not once did my husband go with us. We went twice to Disney and had such a wonderful time. My kids are now grown, and I really miss those vacations. My husband missed out a lot.
woman to woman talk sm
This has nothing to do with being a christian, it has more to do with group dynamics. I have to deal with it all the time with 6 women in an in-law situation. They are narrow-minded Bible-thumping bigots.I happen to be of another "denomination" and I do attend every function of theirs, weddings, funerals, all of it, receive their communion. I have had my parents die, lost my younger sister and many things happen where they could have reciprocated, yet they will not "step foot" in my church. So where is all their faith, they certainly are not practicing the do unto others. I can relate, it is a horrible way to live. Thank God, I had psychology courses and know about group dynamics, I am in the middle of a herd mentality. I could go on forever, they even have "interventions" when someone in their family wants to marry or date someone not from their denomination. They are awful. I know your pain! It's not your imagination, they hide behind their cohesive "numbers game," one speaks and all the others agree in unison. No one has a chance against this mob. It's tough to be your own person, lots of tears. And guys think it's all in our heads - NOT! Hang in, perhaps you'll have a Divine Intervention somehow.
Kangaroo. cat woman or wonder woman?
x
please don't blame his heritage...this could have--sm
been anyone from anywhere. He was more american than he was korean and I really don't think his nationality had anything to do with his emotional state. I am not defending him or what he did, but please don't make more of it than what it is. There is going to be enough anger about all of this when the shock wears off and it just does not need to become a race thing, too. JMO
I don't blame you for feeling that way at all...but (sm)
I really think if you say anything it is just going to put a wedge between you and your dad and your new *relative*. It stinks though, I agree with you!
Clearly to blame for what? In your mind. nm
.
well i always blame work!
so they can't find out a lied because i work at home !! :)
I do get what you are saying, but if they are my friends I ESPECIALLY wouldn't want to tell them i dont feel like hanging out! Maybe that's part of my immaturity and im on the road to working on that :)
Really can't blame the govt on this one - sm
We all take responsibility for ourselves.
Let's talk about the decisions we make and advertising.
Some people see an ad for some kind of "miracle" weight loss drug. We know it isn't going to work the way the ad says it will but... still, some people buy it, the company makes big money.
Same thing with some of these shady lenders. They may be sitting on a lot of foreclosures at a time but they will STILL make a lot of money off of the rest of the people.
Now lets talk credit cards.
Same thing here. I have a Discover card that I had paid off about 2 years ago. I still had a sizable balance on another card but my plan was to close the Discover and keep the other and pay it off too.
When I called Discover to close my account after I had paid it off, they wanted to keep me of course so they offered me a fixed rate of 3.99% for three years on any balance transfers, no transfer fees, etc.
Okay. I kept the Discover, transferred the balance and closed the other card. I am now 2 months from having it paid off again but....... even though I have requested numerous times that they NOT raise my available credit, they keep doing it. My available credit is now up to $14,000.00.
Excuse me but I am NOT that stupid as to charge that much on a credit card, no matter what the interest rate is but..... Some people do it and end up in big trouble.
The trick of it is that people need to be smarter than that. It's OUR money, OUR risk. Card companies don't give a rip if they over extend credit to people. They will find a way to squeeze the money out of them.
I don't blame the stores at all
Its a vicious circle for everyone, and everyone is loosing money. The stores because people won't buy what they used to and the consumer because they have to pay so much more for what they do get!!!
I'm sorry for your friend, but you can't blame the dr.
My mother had the exact same ailments - diabetes that she did not control as well as she should that eventually led to kidney failure, liver failure and death. Mom was always concerned about what other people thought, yet she never failed to ask questions of her physicians. If she didn't get an answer that made sense to her, she continued to ask. She was very stoic so sometimes the drs wouldn't take her as seriously as they needed to take her and there were several instances where something went on waaay too long because Mom wasn't kicking and screaming about it.
Be that as it may, it is YOUR health. If you don't understand something, it is YOUR responsibility to ask questions until you do. It doesn't and shouldn't matter if the doctor is English speaking or not. If you don't understand something, ask. You are your own best advocate for your health.
She needs to take someone with her to every appointment from now on. I hope she gets the kidney she needs.
I don't blame you, you did the right thing.
If you're taking care of them, they're fine at their own house. The owners should understand that. If they can afford to take all of these trips, they can afford to board them. It's not your responsibility to provide them with dogsitting service whenever they want to go somewhere. My sister has two very big, very obnoxious German Shepherds. They are bullies and their behavior isawful, one even flunked out of obedience school. She has asked if they could come to my house when she has went on a trip and I've had to say no. I have 2 Rottweilers, but they are quiet and calm in the house. I also have a cat who co-exists with my dogs just fine. My sister had the nerve to say "but they don't like cats, so you'd probably have to lock him up somwhere while they were here!" WHAT??? I don't feel bad about saying no and you shouldn't either.
Let me tell you what is up with not wanting to see that long lost
A lot of times people feel maybe someone will take their place. I am so thankful I had a stepmom that I truly loved and got along with. I would think most of the time just the opposite. Having said that, the spouse comes FIRST regardless of a long lost child wanting to come into a persons life that they may not be welcomed in the first place. If I had any inkling that someone did not want to see/know me, I would NEVER think another thought about them.
There is a difference in not wanting to be in the limelight and
your spouse not knowing the details of your life. I don't particularly care about being in the limelight, either, but telling my spouse about my education (or anything else for that matter) is not the limelight. That's simply communication with the person who should be my best friend, my confidante, the one person I can always count on. I agree, your tax lady was wrong to imply that he was slow. I'm afraid if my husband hedged about something, it would throw a red flag for me and I've known him since 1977. He might not willingly tell everything that he did in his past, but where he went and how long he went to school is nothing to be secretive about. JMO. 
Good job! For anyone still wanting to guess
I just learned today of the second, similar answer. So, keep trying if you like!
If it were me, I'd totally blame my husband.
You mention in your post your BIL had a trailer stolen and a vehicle broken into at his house so that should have been reason enough to get a little energy up to take them off the trailer. A tough lesson learned, yes, but it's only 1700 dollars. Did you happen to see the other post above where a woman is in danger of losing her house?
I don't blame you. Have you checked zillow.com
or had an appraisal lately? Not that it matters - but would be something to shove at them if they get pushy - unless of course it comes in lower than you want. If you don't NEED to sell - hang on to it if at all possible. We sold our land 5 years ago and wish we would have held onto it - it almost never depreciates!! Best of luck to ya
blame to person who put it out there and didn't keep an eye on it. can't sm
blame the lady for buying it at the price the daughter stated whether she knew what it was or didn't know what it was. fancy cars mean nothing these days. i pay more for a nonfancy car than most pay for a fancy car because i don't have good credit so it cost me twice as much. why are you saying the person who bought it is a rotten person? she gave the price that was asked for it. why lay the blame on her? would you not have done the same thing. garage salers and buyers are out for deals period. why would she not high tail it out of the neighborhood to fly to more garage sales if that was what she was out shopping for that day? what would you had done had you caught up with her? asked her to give it back? that would be rotten in itself. she got a deal. get over it. geez! it isn't the poor lady's fault and doesn't make her rotten.
I am asking in all honesty to not blame the stores
My family is in the grocery business, and like jss said, everything is going up. I don't believe the stores are trying to make a profit off of the bad economy, but groceries have to be trucked in (paying the drivers, the gas, the workers that package the items, etc.). Outrageous prices are eveywhere. My father refused to order red peppers due to the cost and the fact that he knew his customers would not pay for them. It works both ways.
Honestly I don't blame you for macing
the dog if it's owner isn't going to be responsible enough to keep the dog on his/her property. Have you contacted the owner of the dog and complained? My husband is a K9 officer and he gets these calls ALOT and it ain't all pitbull calls, it is just dogs in general roaming around in other people's yard and not on their own property. The mace won't kill a dog, but it sure does hurt really bad and makes the dog think twice about approaching you.
I would not blame granny. She tried to get daughter
NM
easier to blame you than look in the mirror!
.
the doctors overdosed him can't blame him if he
now refuses to take it!
I don't blame you for being upset.. afterall..
a vacation is to "get away" from it all, even if does mean your family.. but I am not the best person to give this kind of advice, I absolutely hate to be put in a position where I'm gonna have to "feel mean or bad" about telling them NO~ or I can't do something, etc.. will pray it all works out for you..
Many people do this in this situation and I cannot blame them.............nm
nm
Not wanting to stop for gas and then driving on fumes SM
in hopes of reaching the pumps in time! 
While you wait, not wanting to give meds, he is
x
Sounds familiar with hubs not wanting any more
cats around. I had an older girl and hubs brought home 2 young guys (he thought when the older one died the 2 younger would take her place, not true of course but he thought that). The older girl died and before long I spoke with him about another kitty. I have loads of room, work is ideal for pets around, he travels so they are loads of company for me but he said absolutely not. Ok, my housekeeper called me 1 day, said kitty up a tree, she would be over when she got it down and I asked her to bring with her as she could not keep. Instant love, not only with me but hubs. I told him the cat had shown up at my house meowing and running from the dog. Well, that was true- she had shown up at the door and had been running from the dog, just not at my home. Gina, my kitty, is now his best friend, follows him around the home, comes for petting and stays in whichever room he is in. It is kitty love for him now.
I did NOT blame his culture-reading problem?
I gave the freshest stats at the time this a.m. - that he was a 23 y/o Korean boy....
only thing i stated about Korea and their culture was that in the schools they teach antiamericanism and I'm not blaming the culture, I'M STATING A FACT.
Geesh........
Even if the poster is dead wrong and clearly to blame? nm
trudat
very common for anyone wanting a life, LOL! i have one and my DH is kinda jealous of me using it so
agree, sex toy parties are great fun and there are actually a lot of things for men there too for themselves or to use on you also. tell him he ought to be thankful it is a toy to enjoy and you are out playing the field, lol. but FYI, get a brief case and lock it up!!! i have had my kids find mine too and it was a double header so it was really, really embarrassing. DH bought it years ago and i only used one end but it was still great.
All this food had me wanting to share something quick for you for a spread. sm
A GREAT sandwich spread. I was at my local deli the other day and they were making ham and swiss sandwiches on whole grain with a sweet, perfectly tasting spread on it. I asked the lady behind the counter what that "spread" on the bread was and she said she just mixed honey mustard and mayo (equal amounts), stirred it up in a bowl, and spread it on the bread. I've been using that recipe all week. I immediately came home, made me a batch, stored it and now use it. My 5 year old son LOVES his sandwiches now. It's a different taste, a little sweet, and wonderful!
I am in total agreement. 13 years old and wanting to date - no way!!..
One of the problems is, as a previous poster write, is DRAMA. Some girls live for the DRAMA (i come from a family of six girls). These kids (but not all) want to and in some ways are forced to grow up too danged fast and it can lead to life-long problems if they do not have a strong mom/dad or just an extended strong family support system. The media has played and contuinues to play a role in the evolution of our teenagers as well (MTV, etc). That is why it is important to keep these kids busy and involved in activities because it is helpful,. JMO..
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