I don't blame you for being upset.. afterall..
Posted By: Gina on 2009-05-29
In Reply to: mom wants to crash my vacation...advice? - Tab
a vacation is to "get away" from it all, even if does mean your family.. but I am not the best person to give this kind of advice, I absolutely hate to be put in a position where I'm gonna have to "feel mean or bad" about telling them NO~ or I can't do something, etc.. will pray it all works out for you..
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I don't blame you (sm)
One bit for being mad. I would be too. It definitely doesn't seem fair. I mean, if this is common practice, you could spill coffee on your carpet and get all new. It really doesn't make sense.
By the way, I hope everything works out for you, and I'm very sorry about the trouble you are having. It sounds like a matter of insurance companies being bombarded with claims due to mass damage in your area, so they are getting stingy with their pay outs. Definitely not fair. Is the state isnurance commissioner doing anything to help?
Please don't blame yourself. (sm)
I do not know if this has anything to do with your situation, but I thought I would share.
My mother experienced a similar situation in regards to my oldest sister (5 other siblings). The counselor told my parents that my sister was attention-seeking. She was in her 30s and married with children when they sought counselling together. She is now in her late 60s. Our mother is still living and in her late 80s, and my sister still has her moments.
"Birth order effect" is very interesting:
1st born must cope with the loss of attention to 2nd born.
2nd born must constantly cope with the attention-seeking 1st born.
3rd born must cope with a perfectionist 2nd born, and it keeps going on.
Our 38-year-old daughter also has her moments, but overall we have a very good mother/daughter relationship.
My opinion only, but I think a daughter's personality can be affected by the relationship with their dad. My husband was diagnosed with a passive-aggressive personality, and I do think our daughter was affected by his personality. But, instead of arguing with her, which is a trait of a PA personality seeking attention, I try to avoid conflict and praise her often, as she can be kind and loving, and God has been blessed her with many talents.
May God bless you and your daughter to experience a more loving relationship is my prayer.
I don't blame you
I saw one of those in my flower bed one time and almost had a heart attack. 
I do not blame you.
Maybe couples should fill out questionnaires before getting married that include questions about vacations as well as the usual concerns.
Oh yeah, I guess they probably cover that if you use one of those on-line dating services like e-harmony.
I don't blame you....
With all of that happening...your daughter's safety is #1. Even though she got suspended. I would still have her carry something like the pepper spray again for her protection just in case, but tell her to be extremely discrete about it and not show or tell anyone about it, not even her friends. You can never be too protective when it comes to your children, in my opinion. I would ask the people you are meeting with if it was their daughter what would they do? If your daughter is attacked, she may be scarred emotionally/mentally for the rest of her life. I have 4 of my own, and I would do anything to protect them. Your a good parent; I would have done the same thing.
I don't blame the mom
13 years old is too young to have a boyfriend.
I don't blame you for being really sm
mad and I sure wouldn't have anything to do with her anymore, but not everybody has a work ethic like that. My hubby has been doing work for friends for probably close to 40 years and WOULD NEVER EVER do something like that. Actually he underbids himself alot and is happy to do it for people What goes around comes around and it has for us in many many instances when we were on the end needing help.
Don't let this color your faith in people. You just had a bad experience like we all have had at one time or another for one reason or another. If it hadn't been this it would have been something else with the same people. It just took 7 years but it would have happened!
I don't blame you~
How aggravating that must be.. I hate dealing with people over the phone like that.. It stresses me to no end & I can't even work some days with that kind of junk.. hoping you are having a better day by now..
please don't blame his heritage...this could have--sm
been anyone from anywhere. He was more american than he was korean and I really don't think his nationality had anything to do with his emotional state. I am not defending him or what he did, but please don't make more of it than what it is. There is going to be enough anger about all of this when the shock wears off and it just does not need to become a race thing, too. JMO
I don't blame you for feeling that way at all...but (sm)
I really think if you say anything it is just going to put a wedge between you and your dad and your new *relative*. It stinks though, I agree with you!
Clearly to blame for what? In your mind. nm
.
well i always blame work!
so they can't find out a lied because i work at home !! :)
I do get what you are saying, but if they are my friends I ESPECIALLY wouldn't want to tell them i dont feel like hanging out! Maybe that's part of my immaturity and im on the road to working on that :)
Really can't blame the govt on this one - sm
We all take responsibility for ourselves.
Let's talk about the decisions we make and advertising.
Some people see an ad for some kind of "miracle" weight loss drug. We know it isn't going to work the way the ad says it will but... still, some people buy it, the company makes big money.
Same thing with some of these shady lenders. They may be sitting on a lot of foreclosures at a time but they will STILL make a lot of money off of the rest of the people.
Now lets talk credit cards.
Same thing here. I have a Discover card that I had paid off about 2 years ago. I still had a sizable balance on another card but my plan was to close the Discover and keep the other and pay it off too.
When I called Discover to close my account after I had paid it off, they wanted to keep me of course so they offered me a fixed rate of 3.99% for three years on any balance transfers, no transfer fees, etc.
Okay. I kept the Discover, transferred the balance and closed the other card. I am now 2 months from having it paid off again but....... even though I have requested numerous times that they NOT raise my available credit, they keep doing it. My available credit is now up to $14,000.00.
Excuse me but I am NOT that stupid as to charge that much on a credit card, no matter what the interest rate is but..... Some people do it and end up in big trouble.
The trick of it is that people need to be smarter than that. It's OUR money, OUR risk. Card companies don't give a rip if they over extend credit to people. They will find a way to squeeze the money out of them.
I don't blame the stores at all
Its a vicious circle for everyone, and everyone is loosing money. The stores because people won't buy what they used to and the consumer because they have to pay so much more for what they do get!!!
I'm sorry for your friend, but you can't blame the dr.
My mother had the exact same ailments - diabetes that she did not control as well as she should that eventually led to kidney failure, liver failure and death. Mom was always concerned about what other people thought, yet she never failed to ask questions of her physicians. If she didn't get an answer that made sense to her, she continued to ask. She was very stoic so sometimes the drs wouldn't take her as seriously as they needed to take her and there were several instances where something went on waaay too long because Mom wasn't kicking and screaming about it.
Be that as it may, it is YOUR health. If you don't understand something, it is YOUR responsibility to ask questions until you do. It doesn't and shouldn't matter if the doctor is English speaking or not. If you don't understand something, ask. You are your own best advocate for your health.
She needs to take someone with her to every appointment from now on. I hope she gets the kidney she needs.
I don't blame you, you did the right thing.
If you're taking care of them, they're fine at their own house. The owners should understand that. If they can afford to take all of these trips, they can afford to board them. It's not your responsibility to provide them with dogsitting service whenever they want to go somewhere. My sister has two very big, very obnoxious German Shepherds. They are bullies and their behavior isawful, one even flunked out of obedience school. She has asked if they could come to my house when she has went on a trip and I've had to say no. I have 2 Rottweilers, but they are quiet and calm in the house. I also have a cat who co-exists with my dogs just fine. My sister had the nerve to say "but they don't like cats, so you'd probably have to lock him up somwhere while they were here!" WHAT??? I don't feel bad about saying no and you shouldn't either.
If it were me, I'd totally blame my husband.
You mention in your post your BIL had a trailer stolen and a vehicle broken into at his house so that should have been reason enough to get a little energy up to take them off the trailer. A tough lesson learned, yes, but it's only 1700 dollars. Did you happen to see the other post above where a woman is in danger of losing her house?
I don't blame you. Have you checked zillow.com
or had an appraisal lately? Not that it matters - but would be something to shove at them if they get pushy - unless of course it comes in lower than you want. If you don't NEED to sell - hang on to it if at all possible. We sold our land 5 years ago and wish we would have held onto it - it almost never depreciates!! Best of luck to ya
blame to person who put it out there and didn't keep an eye on it. can't sm
blame the lady for buying it at the price the daughter stated whether she knew what it was or didn't know what it was. fancy cars mean nothing these days. i pay more for a nonfancy car than most pay for a fancy car because i don't have good credit so it cost me twice as much. why are you saying the person who bought it is a rotten person? she gave the price that was asked for it. why lay the blame on her? would you not have done the same thing. garage salers and buyers are out for deals period. why would she not high tail it out of the neighborhood to fly to more garage sales if that was what she was out shopping for that day? what would you had done had you caught up with her? asked her to give it back? that would be rotten in itself. she got a deal. get over it. geez! it isn't the poor lady's fault and doesn't make her rotten.
I am asking in all honesty to not blame the stores
My family is in the grocery business, and like jss said, everything is going up. I don't believe the stores are trying to make a profit off of the bad economy, but groceries have to be trucked in (paying the drivers, the gas, the workers that package the items, etc.). Outrageous prices are eveywhere. My father refused to order red peppers due to the cost and the fact that he knew his customers would not pay for them. It works both ways.
Honestly I don't blame you for macing
the dog if it's owner isn't going to be responsible enough to keep the dog on his/her property. Have you contacted the owner of the dog and complained? My husband is a K9 officer and he gets these calls ALOT and it ain't all pitbull calls, it is just dogs in general roaming around in other people's yard and not on their own property. The mace won't kill a dog, but it sure does hurt really bad and makes the dog think twice about approaching you.
I would not blame granny. She tried to get daughter
NM
I don't blame you for not wanting a woman
I am a massage therapist (not practicing right now), and I know how it can affect guys (when doing normal professional work ... nothing funky). - I doubt your hubby would be too keen on a male working on him though. : )
Maybe you could do a bit of a strip tease for him or even just whisper in his ear about how hot he is.
I'm just doing a simple, sweet card and a $5.00 scratch-off lottery ticket with a big heart on it ... and probably a bit of hanky-panky. Not to promote drinking, but if you are a bit inhibited, you could drink just a bit to take the edge off (a shot or so). We seem to have extra fun when I do that.
easier to blame you than look in the mirror!
.
the doctors overdosed him can't blame him if he
now refuses to take it!
Many people do this in this situation and I cannot blame them.............nm
nm
I did NOT blame his culture-reading problem?
I gave the freshest stats at the time this a.m. - that he was a 23 y/o Korean boy....
only thing i stated about Korea and their culture was that in the schools they teach antiamericanism and I'm not blaming the culture, I'M STATING A FACT.
Geesh........
Even if the poster is dead wrong and clearly to blame? nm
trudat
I blame the parents. Children are not getting the love and attention
xx
I am so upset...
Just need to express a little;
On my way home from a nice lunch with my DH, I saw a horrible car accident where a teen girl T-boned a car and killed the driver of the car. I am beside myself with emotion right now. The poor girl flipped out when she learned that the other driver was dead, literally running across 4 lanes of traffic and collapsing in a fastfood restaurant parking lot. My heart is breaking still for her as well as the other driver's family and friends.
I have a teen daugther chomping at the bit to get her license and I DONT WANT HER TO...just because of stuff like this.
Please remember these families in your prayers. This young girl has a long, hard road ahead of her I'm sure...not to mention the other driver's family...
I am so upset
Vehicles are not necessary or permitted at U.S. Naval Academy where son went until beginning of senior year. Daughter went to self-contained college campus in Maryland. Family member helped w/transportaiton when necessary. Raised 5 children. Shelter, food, clothing necessary expenses, vehicles & exhorbitant insurance for teens not necessary. Check the stats on young drivers ages 16-25. Then decide if you want your your teen driving. It helps a lot if they pay their own way or at least part. Def driving helps some. Raised 5 children. Lot of parents want the kids to drive so they don't have to be bothered.
I would be VERY upset...
and I'd let her know it too...whatta scrooge! Like the other poster, I'd go to the principal about this. She way overstepped her boundaries on this one. I am so sorry this happened right here at the holidays. Hope y'all enjoy Christmas anyway!
does this upset you? then do something about it.
nm
Like I'm not upset enough. . LOL
Hey everyone, HELP me! I had a bat hanging on the edge of my sofa when I came down from my break at 12:30 p.m. to go to the mall for my iced tea. I called the guy down in the apartment downstairs and he came up and let's just say took care of it. I was in tears! Don't like anything to be hurt, but I floze out about such things. I have bad eyes, and when I came down the steps I thought, what's that black sock doing on the side of my sofa. Then I remembered socks don't have wings! Beam me up! I'm still upset! LOL!!! This past week has been the week from
H E double hockey sticks!!!!! I need an Ativan the size of a hub cap! Just wanted all my MTs to know if could get worse. . . IT JUST DID.
The guy who helped me is so tall he kinda looks like Herman Munster without the bolt, which is scary enough!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is nice, though and thank goodness he was there. Have a good day, guys! 
Yes, and she was VERY UPSET
about what?? Cause she got caught? DUH. Man o Man. I cannot understand this at all. Well she should be going to jail like Paris did but for longer. Anyone of us in this same situation would still be in jail right now and would be going to jail for years with the drug possession charges from now and in May. Cannot wait for this to go to trial.
You have every right to be upset
but what is done is done and the best thing to do would be to take her to a GYN, get her on birth control, talk openly about safer sex practice and you can still let her know your disappointment but don't dwell on it. She may feel he is the "one" for her, but if he truly is a loser, she will figure that out in time, especially with the help of her friends...peer pressure is what gets them into the situation in the first place. I don't think you sound controlling...you just sound very disappointed for your daughter. Good luck.
Upset
I'm upset and never thought about that.....I just want my kids to be happy.....but he seems to think that the grass is greener on the other side, but once he finds out that it is not....he will back....but in the meantime....he will not have a key to my house to come and go as he pleases.....thanks for responding....
I for one do not see why others get so upset by
screaming and yelling in every situation. I understand the basic concept and the I-net rules and stuff, but honestly one or two words capped in a paragraph IMO hardly consistute yelling and screaming. I took it more as a way to stress a word or phase. Everyone needs to chill a little I think, including the OP.
Why are you getting so upset?
You stated a fact and apparently do not wish to hear what others are saying about how credit plays a big part in job situations (your credit probably pulled on a job before to check you out) and other parts of life. The bank does not have a part in your son's lack of money and being unable to pay his bills. Those are their rules and why you should continue to blast others for telling it like it is, I don’t know.
Why am I so upset?
Because you posters are equating being unemployed with being a thief or an embezzler. You'd be upset too if people called your son a thief.
I have never come across the problem with checking credit because my husband's and mine has always been excellent. I guess you learn something new every day, about life and about people who can be so vile while hiding behind a computer.
I would also be upset,
and I don't think you are being selfish at all. I have no advice or suggestions. I just wanted to let you know that I think you have every reason to be upset. With blessing across the miles, I pray for you. :)
You have every right to be upset....sm
And yes that has happened to me. Not all the time but it has. I have an 11 year old son and last year he did not wish me happy mothers day and didn't want anyone to take him to get me a card or anything. But when fathers day comes he always tells his dad happy fathers day and asks me to take him to buy him a gift. Yes, it hurts my feelings but I know my son worships his dad. I'm just mama. BUT this year, my son was different. He asks my mom to help him get me a gift and she did. He told me happy mothers day so I was happy. My husband wished me HMD but didn't get a card or nothing.
Yes, it hurts my feelings and I let my husband know it did but oh well. My husband can be a real a-- sometimes and then again he can be the nices guy ever. He has 2 different personalities.
No, it's okay! I wasn't upset or anything,
just was confused when I couldn't find it. I wanted to post all that so hopefully anyone having these problems could maybe try the same thing.
Firefox is letting me into every site I use though, so crossing my fingers it continues.
Thanks for the tip about the degfrag. I haven't done it and will. :)
Not upset here. Just said I thought
it was RUDE and I could care less if he is or isn't gay. I do not care if it was planned ahead of time or not.
I turn this show on for the talent aspect, but it is becoming less and less of the American Idol show but more about a popularity contest, putting people down, etc, etc. It is all about RATINGS and frankly the whole show is becoming a big JOKE. JUDGES and all
Well, I think she might be upset enough to stroke out or something (sm)
That's good enough for me!
I know you are upset about this and it is your decision
true enough. I probably would not like a 16-year-old to have the keys either. First of all, unless living there, lots are not responsible enough or use good logic but I was hurt, I was grown and could be trusted then and now and I would let me children have, but they are grown.
Me too!! I was so upset when I thought
he was demoted by that day rat. (sorry day shift people). I work over night shift and thoroughly love the comments about different shifts. Man that show is good. We just went on vacation with the kids to the Star Trek Museum (yes we are nerds)and stayed at the Hilton. We love the opening every time CSI Vegas comes on. We try to figure out where the hotel is and all the different things are. LOL. We are truly ill here. We flip between CSI and 2 Law and Orders every evening, and on Saturdays watch the tapes.
More upset with male, although I see your SM
point. If male, would be more about him. My ex did cheat on me for years. I felt deceived, but would have felt even more so if he cheated with men and probably scared silly about disease, which, I know, could have been passed on by women.
Wish people didn't have affairs and if they want a divorce, just get one and then date whomever you want. Yes, I am very naive.
Maybe you did sound upset. .
As you said, you were talking to your aunt on the phone who is dying of cancer and is in hospice. Are you sure you didn't sound upset or irritated with your daughter? At least she cares.
Should I be upset? My mother-in-law......sm
has been taking my 9-month-old daughter around the farm on the 4-wheeler. The guys are coming and going with the machinery, it's noisy, and she's driving my daughter around all of that. Am I overreacting, or do I have a right to be upset?
First off, I was very upset when I wrote
the original post. Sending my son to a boys' home is obviously a last resort. I don't mean an orphanage or foster care. I mean a facility that can help to retrain him if I can't. I love my son very much. I would rather suffer the pains and guilt of having to send him to a reformity, then to watch him grow up into someone who would hurt someone else and ruin the rest of his life. I love all of my children equally.
Secondly, when I took my child to the child psychologist, I had several visits with him first to see if there was something I was doing wrong. I continued to attend each session with my child, including private sessions for myself after his meeting with my son.
Thirdly, your comments were not helpful, just nasty, and that's not the kind of help I was looking for. Anyone who's ever been in this situation already feels inadequate as a parent and doesn't need someone else to slam them. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to do just that.
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