I do not think that the OP was referring to this kind of friendship
Posted By: () on 2009-06-01
In Reply to: umm..isn't that what one would call *friends*? - anon
because the OP put the focus on 'very' close relationship, so it implies something more and slightly different.
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The end of a friendship
My girlfriend came over one day and was chatting with me on the sofa. I had just gotten home from the hospital from having a hysterectomy and she came to pick me up to go see another friend of hers who was in the hospital having just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer (I couldn't drive yet).
My 2 dogs started scuffling over a bone and my friend got an extremely tiny, a little larger than a pin prick mark on the back of her ankle (either from one of the dog's teeth or a sharp end of the bone, hard to tell). I gave her antiseptic wash, a bandage, said I was sorry and thought that was the end of it. We went to visit our friend.
Awhile later, I answered the door to be served with a summons. We were being sued by my friend. I want you to know that this "bite" did not even bleed.
She had a tattoo right in the area and when she took pictures of the "bite" for her attorney, it was very, very hard to see a mark at all.
So, anyway, by the time it went to court (and here is a very ironic thing, the day my husband and I got up and ready to go to court, my sweet Barney, my Schnauzer, died).
Well, between pictures of the injury and her poor performance on the stand (oh God it was unbelievable the way she tried to beef up the whole story), the jury came back with a guilty plea for us. They had to, because our dog or the bone did bite her.
They awarded her the amount her insurance did not cover and I believe 1 or 2 missed days from work. It came to about $1,500. We saw her in the parking lot when we left, she was crying. She was expecting the big payday and it didn't happen.
However, the 10 year friendship did end. We were Girl Scout leaders together for most of those years, our daughters were best friends, but I could never want to be friends with someone who would do such a thing and consider it "well, after all, the insurance will pay".
So be careful what you are expecting. Expect the whole thing to take a long time to get to court and the results to be perhaps less than you expect. Now, maybe your daughter is significantly scarred by the dog bite. I don't know and don't want to offend you with my story. Also, hopefully you have pictures that you took right away when it happened. You will probably need them. Plus you will have to be able to find a lawyer who will take it to court for you. My ex-friend's lawyer was about as inept as could be. I almost felt sorry for her.
I think the friendship indeed is still there... but
That is all there is to it. I am sure in her heart your friend loves you as much as you love her. It is just that, unfortunately in my experience, it is difficult to keep a friendship life-long to the same degree it was when you knew each other and lived closeby. The same thing happened to me and my best friend. We were BFF through first grade until after high school. I lost touch, but eventually visited her at an event after college, but we barely talked. I thought after we did not have the same friendship anymore, or she did not feel the way I did as in BFF. But, looking back, I realized we just grew apart and grew up. I still think of her often, and we have indeed lost touch, but I know to each other we will always be each other's best friend in memory and in our heart.
Just let go a little bit and please don't blame her or you. Please don't dwell on if you gave each other material items or not or if she did not think enough to give you something up to your expectations.
The fact is you have given each other something priceless, a memory in your heart and mind which will last forever and you can't put a price on that. If she is moving away in life, or by the things she does, please don't feel bad. It is not you. It is life. Enjoy the fact that you have not lost touch. And even if you do, after you let go of any expectations, still continue to love her as you always have. Because you and she I am sure will always have what you had and nothing can change that. Now go and enjoy your baby, and your marriage and your life, and keep your feelings the same tucked away in your heart. Don't let time moving on ever ruin that! Just my 2c. All the best to you!
Need some advice on an old friendship --
I got divorced 7 years ago. Started out as a "friendly" divorce and then I started dating a man that my ex did not like (because he is black) and we quit speaking at all. Then, one of my very good friends started backing off from the friendship and I thought it was because I was openly dating a black man. Well, 4 months later, I heard that she was dating my exhusband. I called her and asked her about it and of course she denied it, could not believe I accused her of that, she would never do that to me..... on and on and on. To make a long story short, of course 2 months later I found out it was true, they had bee seeing each other for about 6 or 7 months.
Anyway, during that time period after I knew that they were together but before they broke up, I would call her occasionally if I needed information on my son (who lived with his dad and would not speak to me at that time becaue of brainwashing) and we stayed friendly on the phone, felt like old times, etc.
Then they broke up and now occasionally I get the urge to call her or she will call me for something, and it is like nothing ever happened. We laugh and cut up and it's all good. I have some thoughts though about when it really started, before we were even divorcing or during the divorce, and then sometimes I get really mad because she lied to me in the first place and let me keep trying to have a friendship, and then sometimes I miss her and think it does not matter because we were divorced and he was free and I definitely did not want him back.
My problem is what to do? Forgive her and forget her... forgive her and be friends again... ask her the questions I need answers to and then decide whether to be friends??? And the other big problem is my new husband gets very upset every time I even speak to her because she did that to me when she was my friend and he says you never go behind friends to their love interests.
Advice please....
Was not suggesting donning the cap of friendship
rather here, on the forum. I agree with everything you said, but fact remains that if Suzane wants to find her lost husband, she may want to try looking in all the places. She probably won't find him behind a closed door in the bedroom.
My aunts always made friendship bread.
Not sure exactly, but they would get a "start" from someone and always had a little left to use to mix up the next loaf, so on and so on.
I was referring to my dx. sm
Should clarify I was referring to my dx. Mine coexist. But ty for your opinion. Another old MT.
Actually the one I was referring to is, indeed
still on the show and now in the top 10. The one you are referring to got voted off by the judges. He was rude and argued when they gave their opinions of his performance. The only I was referring to is Neal Boyd. He is wonderful. I love Donald Braswell, too! When he sang the Music of the Night from the Phantom of the Opera this week I actually had tears in my eyes. My favorite opera and what a tremendous performance on his part. Thank you for answering my post.
I was not referring to the OP
There was a reply to the OP talking about her mother's neighbors and their "stupid" dogs.
OMG...I'm not referring to the
*Litters* part of the comment, you ninny...I'm referring to the comment in general, the TONE of the comment...not the words themselves...GAH, no more wasting my time on you! Get a clue will ya?!
I'm not referring to the posters...sm
who disagree as being busybodies, but people who make a stink about this issue in general...Never said it was the disagreeing posters who are the busybodies...read carefully....
were you referring to the guy that's old school
nm
You keep referring to her as my daughter.
Is he the stepdad?
If you are referring to me, I had the hysterectomy. sm
I posted here and got a lot of great advice from everyone. I am the one who had the left ovary removed first and then found out I was borderline cancer and the doctors recommended a complete hysterectomy. Well, I did have the hysterectomy and thankfully, all went well. Nothing had spread anywhere and all turned out fine. I am doing very well. Had my procedure laparoscopically and robotix assisted so less invasive. I spent one night in the hospital and actually was back at my computer the next day....on a limited basis of course...but I must say I have been lucky so far. Only hot flashes here and there, but other than that I have felt pretty good. Thanks for asking, if you were referring to me.
Dont know who you are referring to, but I never
s
Perhaps not the post that everyone is referring to....
but I, too, have seen many many unfair man-bashing posts on this board. I have a wonderful husband who means the world to me and, most of the time, I think men are easier to get along with than women. I honestly think that people just enjoy complaining because some of the complaints are really juvenile.
your referring to her not taking accountability and
learning from her actions in the past right? thats good. thank you.
i get real nervous when it comes to confrontation. anxiety.
The smart I was referring to was in regard to
nm
Not referring to a no-support agreement. If there
NM
And is pleural referring to the lungs?
LOL.
The talk radio guy she is referring to
is very adamant about telling people to do their own research before making up their mind about anything. He does his show mostly for entertainment purposes - he is certainly not saying that everything that comes out of his mouth is gospel. He has his show so he can give his opinion - what the heck would he talk about for hours if he did not talk about his opinion?
But that's just my opinion, lol.
The drinkin kind or the rubbin kind?? sm
So....is that for me to drink so I don't notice or care that my hands are all splotchy black or to get the ink off?  Seriously though, do I use the rubbing alcohol - or like Jack Daniels?? and do I soak in it or what? I never heard of using alcohol but I'll try anything.
She was referring to my DH (old school) and I find it insulting.
nm
she was referring to fake image....not the music itself...why do you feel
nm
I feel that is best too. I have been kind, very kind, to this ...sm
child since he moved here in March. I also am not one of those parent's that thinks my children are perfect. You never know what they might do out of your presence. I do know how I have raised them though and I am all for getting them all together when there is a problem and getting to the bottom of it but anymore that doesn't seem to work. The parents automatically get defensive and start making excuses, etc. I'm going to look for somewhere else to move. I've lived here for 2-1/2 years and we never had a problem until this boy moved in. His mother is a piece of work.
When you say gas stove, are you referring to the same stove you cook on? I ...
just recently transcribed a dictation about a patient who used her gas stove to heat her house, I suppose because her energy company shut her service off, and as a result, she suffered from carboxyhemoglobinemia or carbon monoxide poisoning with resultant symptoms including tiredness, dizziness, and eventually unconsciousnesss requiring hospitalization. Stay warm all, but please be careful.
I was referring to my own hair, people hair. nm
:
Are those the red kind of
licorce? Have not tried those yet. Wonder if they would be good with, say a few olives on the side?
and that's being kind actually....sm
I could think of dozens of adjectives that are *stronger* than smarmy but probably not permitted to be typed at this website...
GMTA = great minds think alike, eh? 
what kind of dog is it?
x
I would not want to pay for that kind
of therapy. If the therapist cannot stay neutral and professional...I just would not be comfortable either. If my friends and family cannot be my therapist, why would I want my therapist to act like a friend? Good luck in whatever you do.
At least you got a thank you of some kind. sm
There have been a couple times when I haven't even received a thank you note for a wedding gift.
Actually, I think it was just one time, because the other time I finally got the thank you note (lovely, hand written), but it was a *year* later! (And I thought I procrastinated... LOL)
That's kind of what
I figured, but wasn't sure. Are you talking about like the Solarcaine green gel with lidocaine? That's what I put on it, but he will barely even let me do that. I put sunscreen on them on and off all day, but guess not enough! I guess I underestimated that hot Galveston sun! Thanks for the advice.
What kind of look are you going for?
Classic? Country? Rustic? Modern?
Butcher-block (or lookalike) would work for country or rustic. Stainless steel would work for modern. Tile or slate could work for most styles, depending on the design.
I have a Corian-type solid surface countertop which I like. It does scratch fairly easily, but the scratches are easily buffed out with polish unless they are really deep.
Well, I think they are trying to do some kind of (sm)
public service or something, probably about reporting it. Brooke was on at the very end making a little speech, but I actually didn't hear it.
YAY!!! What kind did you get? (sm)
I've been using one for years, but I'm working 2 jobs now and to break the monotony, I use 2 different computers in different rooms. I 'commute' with my ergo keyboard because the one downstairs has a regular keyboard. So, I'm thinking about getting a new one. The one I'm using now is a Microsoft, but I think the model is extinct, so I'm looking for recommendations.
You're not a dork. I know how you feel. It was like... How the heck did I ever type on a regular keyboard!!?? With our job, ergonomics and comfort is everything. Congrats and have fun LOL ;-)
No and if I did that, she is the kind that
would be highly insulted, get her nose out of place. I have honest to goodness kept my mouth shut when I wanted time after time to say something- I love her but I don’t like her. Does any other mother understand this? I have walked on egg shells not saying things. Not an open communication ever with her- she is much into her friends though.
You are too kind!
 20 years ago I would have flew off the handle to have something like this, but now I know it is in His hands, not mine! Thanks for the encouragement.
Me too. I can't think of what kind of job I can do
that isn't MT...I've been doing this for so long. I can write well, and am a heckuva ghostwriter (have done blogs and resume cover letters for friends) but can't figure out where the money is in that. Sigh.
Good luck to everyone.
You all have been so kind
Thank you all so much. Words just cannot express my gratitude for the way you've extended your hearts to a virtual stranger. You're all amazing.
Romey, your post was very nice. I couldn't read it the first time I tried. I had to walk away and come back and read it later.
It is getting easier with time.
Kind of
Usually every year my husband's family gathers here in Central Florida at the beach. However, during the hurricane season of 2004, the condo that my uncle owned timeshare in got damaged to the point of being condemned. So now that we have to actually PAY for a condo, this year we have decided to head up to the panhandle which is halfway between the FL family and the AL family and in the same town as one of the aunts, namely due to gas prices and Lord their drive used to be 10 hours, no fun with kids.
As for us, we will be heading up there which we don't usually do. However, both myself and my husband work from home so we might put gas in each vehicle once a month? We also own a boat which we put gas in but this year we're telling friends who want to come out and go wakeboarding that they're going to have to chip in for gas. As an FYI, boat takes 87 and not great gas mileage. I drive a truck that takes the cheap stuff but gets 19 mpg and less while towing the boat. Husband drives a sportscar that takes 93 BUT gets like 25-28 mpg, to say the least we will be driving his car to the panhandle in May!
what kind of dog is it?
x
You are both so kind, and you are right
on the mark. Yes, the credit cards are his. He lived off credit cards for several years to support himself and his kids after he and his wife split up. His wife never paid child support and he paid for daycare and everything, so had to pay for extras outside of his salary on credit. Then when I came along I was doing real well as a hospital MT, but had to quit because I was here and he needed me to watch the kids. He did not understand I had a shift like a regular job. So, after several months of my back and forth work and being with the kids, the boss gave me an ultimatum daycare for the kids or I leave my job. I told my DH that my income which was very good at the time was important to me as I have supported myself my whole life including being a single mom. But he would not budge. So, I quit. It has been 3 years and most of our marriage my trying to balance kids (I love them don't get me wrong) and work. I finally become a SE, and I am giving him direct deposit on my paycheck with me taking a small percentage out for things for my son. But, since the money is now coming in he is putting it to the credit cards. Anyway, I stopped eating mostly because I got disgusted. He is always having sandwiches and chowing down in front of me. His boy who is a big eater is asking for 3 or 4 snacks a day. My son asks for snacks there's nothing left and he said to me:" Next time you get money mommy, GO FOOD SHOPPING." He said that right in front of DH. But, I just know when I do that the gorging goes on. I explained to DH about telling his son about gluttony, but he laughs at me. So, when I see him and his son eat this way, I get grossed out and am not hungry at all. I am sorry to say all this here. I actually just came back from the doc who gives me nerve pills because of my situation and he says I am doing really well coping with the situation. Which he knows what is going on. He is sending me to see a good counselor who he says," will validate me and give me support and confidence." Last time I went to see a counselor she told me to leave. But, my son loves his step sister and brother and so I want to stay. Well, sorry for the soap opera. I think when I start making more money I will get food and tires for my car, etc. but I will hide some food and snacks and siphon it into the general population here. That way they don't get snorted up by certain people. LOL. (And yes, I am putting an emergency fund away. But this is why I wish there was more transcription out there!) Thanks for your kind words and support. Between you and the doc today, it makes me feel I am not alone! :)
I kind of like this.
![](http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:vnIUDcPN5K6MHM:http://www.lvpcchurch.org/lvpc/files/u1/cross1_1_.jpg")
I have tried nearly every kind
of mascara known to woman. My favorite BY FAR is the Loreal Voluminous waterproof. It's so silky, non-clumping, etc. Just perfect. So I guess now it's time for them to discontinue it - LOL! That's what happened after I found my perfect foundation -- Maybelline's Wonder Finish.
Yup, have 2 teens and it is kind....
of interesting as one does not have "all the time in the world for that anymore." We have got to get when we can. But also he works nights and obviously sleeps some during the day. Maybe that is what has kept the fire going all these years. LOL
With that kind of money,
she could have easily afforded to pay you back without filing on the insurance. She should have offered to have paid you half back at least. I think that would have settled it.
Don't take your parents not choosing sides personally. They are probably trying to not make the situation worse than it already is. They are probably hoping you two will work this out somehow. Them getting involved will only make it worse.
Besides everything she has done, losing your family is just not worth it. I hope that you can find a way to work this out. My brother passed away and my sister is missing. I would give ANYTHING to have them back.
you are very kind; thanks for your time.
x
What kind of shakes do you use?
Some of them are just nasty ... any tips on ones that taste halfway decent?
What kind of programs?
Sorry to hear you are in the same boat. It's funny because until you feel or have felt that way, it's hard to relate. I truly feel that I have tried everything in my power. Now he wants me to try again and I just don't think I can change the way I feel. We recently went to a Christian marriage counsellor that his mother wanted us to go to and he kept telling me that it is my choice how I feel toward my husband. It isn't. It's like a response to something bad for you I think. Your body tells you to spit out bitter things because they could be poison. Well....I think maybe it's the same type of response! Like, no this isn't good for you, get away from it!
What kind of biopsy
What kind of biopsy did you have and when did you have it? Out here (Virginia) I had a stereotactic biopsy on a Wednesday morning and the results at noon the next day. At the breast clinic here everyone comes in for the results. I liked knowing the very next day, regardless of the outcome. You know - the percentages are actually in your favor ... all the research I've done indicates 80% of biopsies are benign. I had one 4 years ago that was benign. Please let me know how you're doing. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
what kind of vitamins do you take? sm
i had been bying vitamins from wal-mart. then i went to GNC and talk the gal that works there and she recommended GNC brand ultra gold which i do take when i think about it. but their vitamins are so big, they almost gag me, even the smell gags me. supposed to take two a day. they are loaded with stuff. just wondered what ya'll take.
ps: can't tell a difference in my energy level when i take GNC vitamins.
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