I come from one of those fighting families.
Posted By: Lllls on 2008-12-04
In Reply to: Any family fights over thanksgiving - MTinMT
There have been many, but the defining event would have to be at my father's viewing when his own brother started a fight in front of the open casket. If it were a screenplay, it would have to be a comedy, because the reality of it was too painful to endure. Needless to say, I don't deal with my family unless I have to. I've had too many holidays ruined over the years, and when my children were small, I realized that their holidays would be ruined, as well, if I kept returning to these toxic family gatherings. Now we do things on our own, and life is much nicer. We don't have the Norman Rockwell gatherings of 20 or so people, but that's ok. Maybe some day when I'm a grandmother and great-grandmother, our healthy family will have grown to Norman Rockwell size, and then we'll have a family group that wants to spend time with each other. That is so much better than dreading family gatherings!
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
girls fighting
sure did. I can tell you how old they are, old enough to know better, Speaks volumes about the parents is all I can say. They should be tried as adults. All are being held without bond until a hearing sometime today. Hope they get what they deserve and the mother of the girl getting beat up needs to be filing civil suits as well.
He's fighting again today.
This time with his younger brother because he doesn't want to play a video game with him anymore. His younger brother is almost 6 and he gets bored easily with video games. Once again, when he got mad, he resorted to violence by kicking his younger brother in his side. It left a red mark. He's sitting on a chair as we speak. I didn't give him a length of time, but I don't think 8 minutes is long enough for the stuff he's doing. I told him what the consequences were when he did something like this, ie serious injury to his brother, possible juvy hall for him, and how it can lead to worse things as he gets older.
He just doesn't get it. I really wanted to fan his @ss, but what would that teach him? Just that violence begets violence. Why does he have to react so intensely? Why can't he just get mad and get over it without hitting someone?
My other 2 children don't react this way. That's 1 of the points the child psychologist and I discussed specifically. That if I were a bad parent, which I definitely think at times, then all 3 of my children would act out, but they don't. Just him. He's generally well-behaved for other adults. He goes to the youth church camps and has no problems whatsoever. He knows right from wrong, he just doesn't institute it. It's so frustrating.
I think it's time I found another child psychologist to take him to. Maybe family counseling or something. I know there's something wrong, but I can't figure out what it is. I spend a lot of time with my kids. All summer long, I've gotten up early to work so I could spend the days with them, swimming, biking, etc. We do a lot together as a family and the 2 older ones get to go a lot of places with other people. My children are not neglected in any way. My husband spends a lot of time in the evenings with them, especially the 8-year-old. We know that he demands more attention and we try to give that to him, but this is getting exhausting.
I know everyone here has been trying to help and I appreciate that. More than anything, I just need a place to vent. I think it's time, though, to see a counselor again. I'm also going to look into alternative medicine, ie nonaggressive diets. Maybe there is something to that. It seems to be true in animals. Again, thanks for letting me vent and offering up suggestions or insight. I do appreciate it.
Mom with fighting son, please see reply below nm
x
fighting family too
I come from one of those families too...holiday wasn't complete if the police didn't come or EMS...when I met my husband and went to a family function with him I did not know how to act. I kept waiting for something to happen but nothing did, they are close, they love one another and enjoy being together. Needless to say we stopped going to family functions on my side and my own children do not know what its like to have one of those holidays and hopefully never will.
There is virtually no fighting. (sm)
I don't hate him. But the opposite of love is indifference, and that's his diagnosis of me. I have to agree. He doesn't have a cure for that. He only does couples counseling if solving all the issues would make me satisfied. But if DH changes all the things I list, he'd just be the right husband for somebody else. That's my problem.
But chicking and dog fighting is illegal.....
xx
Girls in Florida fighting
Did anyone see that sickening video of those teen girls beating up another girl while two boys stood guard outside the house? I think they should be tried as adults including the boys (not sure how old they are anyway). 
girls fighting....and did you see the interview?
the one where Matt Lauer interviews the mother of one of the attackers?? She painted her daughter out to be a saint, how her daughter warned the victim not to go in the house. Matt asked her why her daughter was there for 30 minutes yet didn't call police. She didn't have an answer for that one. And she also said that the victim should get part of the blame because she was trash talking on myspace about the girls.
I say try them as adults too. One of the lookouts was an 18 yo boy.
I worry about my 11 yo son. What kind of world will he be living in??
If you're still fighting then you still care.
That's what I have been told multiple times. We aren't fighting anymore here. DH thought that meant we were happy, but I was feeling depression and apathy.
Rooster fighting is illegal in CA, yet there is a place (sm)
I can see from the freeway that is acres upon acres of little tent-shaped coops that house chained-up fighting roosters. It's been there for 30 year - and I can't figure out WHY.
um, what about deceased hubby family and $millions she was fighting for?
nm
what about dead hubby's millions, fighting her stepson for
she's been fighting to get millions from her dead hubby estate, fighting the son-in-law. Howard is her attorney for that, which has been going on for years. That family has motive.
Prayers for both families
nm
Will work to let other MTs with families have day off.
dd
Suppose most of our families came from there
nm
Yes, it runs in my families I got it from
my mother. My mother had high blood pressure all her life and never took any medicaments against it. Some people just have high blood pressure and taking medicaments might even do more harm than good. My mother is very healthy and now in her 60s.
I, too, do not take any medicaments, none.
Its so weird, but this is common for these families
with BPD members - when a new person comes along who is actually healthy emotionally, they are always "blamed" for everything. I wish I had more time to share some of this fascinating data, but I have to work...and there are probably those who aren't interested. When you experience these sick games for years, and then actually read the exact same stuff in medical/psychiatric journals, it is just mind blowing! You realize its NOT you and you're not imagining this stuff. Very enlightening. I wish you all the best.
The bikers are the ones protecting the families
because of all these other rude people who decide that a funeral is a place to protest, whatever..They form a human/motorcycle barrier in between the protestors and the ones grieving.
My heart aches for the families
who will shortly be notified that their child/spouse/loved one will not becoming home. Too many senseless killings these days.
I can surely relate! Families can be so --sm
cruel sometimes. I really think that they don't even think about how their actions or lack thereof affect others sometimes, but we sure feel the hurt, don't we? Hugs to you!
Do you know any organizations that help families in need (one-time need) (sm)
these people need help just for one month getting their bills paid - what organizations are there that do this? I know they exist in Florida. I am now in NC and just trying to help these people find out where to go for help. Anyone have any ideas? It would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
How about ideas for siblings and their families? Here's one
I have three siblings, with spouses and children. Not only is it expensive to buy for all of them, but it's hard to know what to get. Last year I went to a craft store and bought cheap baskets on sale. I bought each of them a 2-month subscription to the movies that you get through the mail, NetFlix (can do Blockbuster if you want). I put the gift certificate in the basket along with the big boxes of candy that they sell at the show (.99 cents apiece at Walgreens), a few packets of microwave popcorn, and a 6-pack of their favorite soda. They loved it and everybody enjoyed the movies over the next couple of cold winter months. You can purchase the movie gift certificates on line at their website.
I guess we are one of those boring families, too...sm
We don't fight during the holidays, but then we really don't talk much either. My mom has Alzheimer and my brother just doesn't say much. I try to carry on a conversation, but it is hard to when you are met with silence.
just a liaison between the patient's and families...
and the nursing home, so if they are not addressing your needs, this is an appointed advocate--not employed by the nursing homes--whose job it is to address your concerns.
Our families are important to all of us, but we make it work sm
We fit it all in. Family, food, fun, and a litte work. It is not a really big hardship for most MTs.
Brown/Goldman families at odds now
it has been all over the news- Goldman wants the money, Brown family speaking out saying should not get, I think they consider it blood money. Never would have thunk that 1- huh, seemed so buddy-buddy at 1 time and now on the outs.
Definitely think it runs in families. Both parents, 1 sister
and I all have hypertension. I take 4 different meds with another one for p.r.n. use. My is pretty well controlled most of the time. The highest it got was 230/140.
St. Vincent de Paul helps families in any kind of need
xx
Hope you appreciate them -- the guys' families do care and do help. Hard to believe for some....
I am sure by posting that you care, but some just use and abuse and it's always about the maternal side of the family until they need something again. Congratulations for posting and giving the guy's fanily some credit for a change. We are humans, not just a bank. OMG let the flaming begin!!
Don't be a jerk. Most of us were lucky enough to be born into English speaking families.
x
in families of SEAHORSES-males carry/give birth
Fran is right..Tends to run in families. If you are, dont bother with Synthroid..I went to Armour
thyroid and never looked back. I tried Synthroid for over a year and they could never get my thyroid back in..I struggled with cold intolerance, fatigue, dry skin, and the worse..weight gain..like 30 pounds and then a doctor put me on a more "natural" thyroid which was Armour. I got my energy back, lost weight etc..I would never use Synthroid or any other synthetic again. Be aware that a huge number of doctors dont like prescribing Armour but I insist that it's the only thing that works for me and they do prescribe it..Good luck to you..
Thanks. I guess what I am really asking is when do most families stop taking Summer vacation and
start getting ready for school opening.
|
