I certainly do my fair share of lying
Posted By: suprmommy3 on 2008-09-18
In Reply to: Anyone know about compulsive or pathological liars? sm - AnonMT
but i can't say that i've ever really made up anything huge but nobody has ever really called me on it either. Maybe those I lie to are either just gullible or too nice to say anything about it or maybe not good at spotting a lie. I don't know, but I do know I lie a lot. Maybe it's because of my low self-esteem, and maybe that's why people don't really call me on it, because they pity me too much.
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The fair thing would be to share it and split the prize - sm
good karma and all that. I try to do that though, I have had more bad than good lately. I am expecting a refund of an overcharge today in my account, bank informed me yesterday that the store (7-11) appeared to be refunding in full all four purchases I made on a particular day ( I am disputing 3 charges and only 1 of them partially as I did owe some of the money). If they do refund all I will end up with an extra $120. So if that ends up being the case I will do something with half of that to benefit someone else whether it be a school fundraiser, the local Goodwill, a charity I like to donate to, etc. I try to balance it all out, plus it is nice to be able to help others when you can.
Would you think someone was lying if they said this? (sm)
I have someone I have been seeing for a while who never calls but emails me all the time telling me that he loves me and misses me. But he always says it like this, "I really love you, I mean it. I hope you believe me." or "I am going to miss you while you are gone, I hope you believe that." It is starting to bother me that he always has to add the "I mean it"or "I hope you believe that" part. Why would I not believe it? Why would he not mean it? Does it sound like a lie to you?
He has always written me the sweetest, loveliest emails yet never calls (maybe 10 calls in an entire year and a half). I don't see him all that often but when I sugggest seeing someone else he gets upset and begs me not to, says he will do better, but then things stay the same. I really do care for him but I am starting to wonder if I am just being taken advantage of. He has borrowed small amounts of money from me throughout this time, most of which I have told him not to worry about paying back. So now I am wondering if he is just writing the sweet emails to try to keep the gravy train rolling? 
it's not lying
It's just not. I was about to get all preachy and talk about how we need mythology in our lives--stories that tell teach us morals, that remind us of our traditions--but I'll stay off the soapbox for now and just say that for as long as my kids are willing to believe, I will give them stories to believe in. The five-minute cry when they discover Santa isn't real, is more than made up for by the years of joy beforehand, don't you think?
As for talking in front of the kids, I don't think that's really a big deal, either. Kids love to put this stuff together in their heads, make up stories about it--how come there are so many store Santas? How come mom and dad are hiding these presents in the attic? They ask those questions and still believe. They're kids; they're good at that.
lying
If he is routinely confessing to you about his indiscretions, assuming this is how you know about them, and he is not afraid of you or the consequences, I assume all things being equal, you are free to do the same.
the lying is only part of it
Obviously there is more going on than just the fact that he is lying.. Why is he lying - what is he doing with the money?
You certainly weren't lying after
.
Problems with lying on back? anyone else?
For a couple of years I have had trouble with trying to sleep on my back....if I lay flat on my back for more than 10 or 15 minutes I get extremely nauseated...if I fall asleep on my back, I wake up freezing cold. I am a little overweight but not obese. I do have a rather large chest though...I have been embarassed to go mention this to my doctor because it sounds silly to me, but yet it happens every time. The last few days I have been having pain between my shoulder blades and palpitations....I am starting to really worry about my heart but I am just embarassed to go and mention it. I am 40 years old. I know some of you will scold me for not already going....but has anyone else had these symptoms?
Problems with lying on back? anyone else?
Don't be embarrassed about going to the Doc!
Honestly, it sounds like your body is trying to tell you something is wrong. Please get thee to a Doc asap! If nothing else, at least for peace of mind!
Husband lying and I am going carzy
At least once a week I catch my husband in a lie, and it is always about money. He writes checks and lies to me about what they are for, how much they are for, etc. If I ask him how much money he has on him he will even lie to me how much he has. This is just a general question I ask him to know if I need to go get my own or if he has enough for whatever we have planned. When I asked him about it he gets angry and defensive and "cannot remember." Or he will say he told me about it and make me feel I am going crazy. We are actually trying to do Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace" which says you NEED TO COMMUNICATE ABOUT MONEY AND KNOW WHERE IT IS GOING. What do you think is going on? Where do I get help? I am ready to leave, as he has been lying to me like this the whole 16 years of our marriage. He had a major gambling problem years ago and a counselor once told him, even though you've stopped the gambling you have not stopped the behavior, but he still doesn't get it. I have been in counseling three times with this man. I feel like i am the only one giving 100% to this marriage. I just need to know that it's okay for me to be frustrated and upset and ready to leave this marriage because of it, or am I just freaking out too much? He makes me feel crazy most of the time!!!! Our kids adore him, but I cannot live with him. What do I do?
Leave the lying, cheatin dirtbag.
Maybe, if agency lying, you can get any fees back
x
It's lying in the absolute literal sense, but so what.
I think it's part of the fun of Christmas. I wasn't traumatized by thinking Santa was real when I was small. And my children, who are now 18 and 20, seem to be well adjusted, too. I also don't think that lying to your children is the worst thing you can do as a parent. The "controlled dissemination of information" can be a good thing. My kids don't need to know what I did when I was a wild child, for example. And on occasion I've told them there were no more Little Debbies in the house, even though I had a personal stash hidden away. LOL!
As far as Santa goes, I loved it. The way I explained it to my children when they got older and stopped believing was that when we're very little, Santa is a noun. He's a jolly old man who brings us gives, a very concrete thing. When we're older, Santa becomes a verb that means "to give". When my oldest became aware of the Santa reality, he wanted to "Santa for my little brother", and kept the fantasy alive for him. Now they do that for others. I consider that a reality.
The arguments regarding the honesty of the Santa fantasy will go on and on. In the end, it's a personal family decision to participate or not, and I think we can all be respectful of other family's decisions by not divulging the truth within earshot of children who believe, and not arguing over the issue with parents who believe otherwise.
whichever one is lying will be the one to resist the meeting nm
x
Doesn't sound like he's lying, just sounds like you have different wants.
You're comfy in your life as it is. It's one thing to gain love again, it's a whole different story to gain love along with a roommate and all that comes with that, including losing some sense of freedom and space.
Letting a child about Santa isn't lying, sheesh
Telling about Santa isn't lying, it's a rite of childhood for millions of kids, as is the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I see no harm in giving my children hope in something so good as Santa. I don't remember being crushed as a child when I found out about Santa, I only remember the joy of waking up on Christmas morning to a full stocking and the anticipation of waiting for the big guy. We were so poor that I don't know how we ever had a Christmas but somehow there were always gifts from Santa, to me that's what he's about, not lying but believing.
People take really strange things far too literally, takes the fun out of the simple things in my opinion.
OMG you are living my life!!!! (Mine is lying behind me as I type this!)nm
x
As the saying goes - "Let lying dogs sleep" - no DNA is not in order
What on God's good earth would that accomplish? So that some sick tabloid could then publish a story about this? Those kids know MJ as their father. I don't care whether someone thinks they don't or do look like him. I have a brother in law who looks nothing - and I mean absolutely nothing - facial features, hair color, skin color, or anything, like anyone in his family or even any ancestors in his family. When husband and his sibling are together they all act alike and they all have the same smile, two of them have the same eyes, 3 of them have the same nose, and the way they say certain things they sound like each other and their parents, but not my BIL, his hair, skin color, the way he laughs, talks, or moves - absolutely nothing like his mother, father or any of his siblings. They joke that he was switched at birth, but from the time he was born he was never out of his mother's site in the hospital.
I think most of America does not need to know whether or not the children are really his. For someone to come out and say "I think a DNA is on order", the family should tell that media clown - it is none of your business, leave Michael Jackson's kids alone. They are going through enough as it is. I hope MJ's family tells them no. And I think Debbie Rowe should keep her trap shut.
No, but I hate my lying, stealing, sociopathic brother. Does that count? NM
z
Fair enough...
I was just wondering. Have a great day. 
Seems fair to me.
I'll perform it if no MD will.
maybe not fair
I think the problem comes from Christians being so sure we are right, we want to try to save the non believers. . . maybe we should just let everyone worry about themselves. . . it is a difficult subject. . I'm sure non believers are just as sure they are right. .
And I thank you for being fair.
x
Fair is fair, I mean.
Be fair sm
I learned in journalism class that a reporter must be fair. So would you say the same for Pepsi?
Just kidding - will have to look further into this. Water is very good for you. Don't get enough of it myself, although I do like a lot of tea, so I guess that makes up for the water consumption per day. Now if I could only drink the tea without sugar - that would be healthy. Try honey but kind of messy, usually give up on it, always in a hurry.
Fair enough...
There are reduced rates for low income families and other programs to feed the needy kids. If parents want their kids to eat, they should pay for it.
Is this fair or right?
On another board I frequent there is a discussion going on and I'd love to hear your take on it. It's about a possible law to have welfare recipients take urine tests (for drugs use) in order to receive payments.
You like? You hate? Why?
I am so sorry. It's just not fair! nm
x
Love the NYS Fair
I live about 15 minutes away and we go every year. This year we're going to the AI concert. It's an annual tradition for us since a few days after the fair ends school starts.
Going to the fair and also going fishing.
p
It's not really a fair comparison - that may be what she said to you (sm)
but although it may not be true about you it doesn't mean it isn't true about her. I am sorry she said that to you and I would never say any of that to my MIL or about her other than on here on an anonymous board. But thanks for your opinion.
OK, to be fair. I know if you adopt one SM
you must keep it in the house. That's one of the rules for adoption.
When thinking about it (I'm talking about racing dogs now), they are trained to run after a rabbit(?), so, yes, they probably MIGHT run after creatures, should get out.
It's just the thought of those poor dogs put to death because they are of no use to their owners, is horrifying to me.
No, I'm not a member of PETA. LOL!
That is not a fair resonse. I do all the ....sm
things a responsible owner should do. I keep my dog either in my house or in a fenced in yard. I have him vaccinated as I should. He is fed, bathed, and treated as he should be. I do everything I am supposed to. How can I not be a responsible owner? Just because of his breed. I don't think so. My dog has never been used to fight and will never be used to fight. If you don't own one and raise them properly you will never know the potential they have to be a loving dog. Personally a lot of people don't even know mine is a pit bull. He is either mistaken for a boxer lots of times or an american bulldog. Sometimes I am tempted to not correct them.
fair warning!!!! :)
The Wii is a blast! We bought one last year. Last week I bought Dance Dance Revolution 2 for it. It is extremely hard even on beginner! It will literally wear you out and if you are as out of shape as I am, plan on being very sore! LOL I really do like the Wii and plan on getting the fit later this summer. For us, it's something the entire family loves, except the b/f refuses to do the Dance Dance Revolution. LOL
Congrats on your quitting smoking! We are starting that as well. My b/f just started the Nicoderm patch. If he doesn't have too many side effects from it and it seems to work okay, I'm going to start it in a few weeks. I'm currently just cutting back right now. Cigarettes are getting so darn expensive. Marlboro are over $5 a pack and the fed tax increase of $0.62 starts April 1st. Illinois is trying to pass $1 tax on top of that. Pretty soon it's gonna be $7 for a pack of cigarettes. We've had enough.
Sorry to ramble! :)
Good luck to everyone quitting!
Doesn't seem fair.
I have 2 with balances on them. However, I have not used them in a while and have been paying at least minimum and more when I can on time. I don't know what we are going to do. Our mortgage or car payments are all paid up so we dont' have to worry about that but if this happens we may have to put a lein on our house and vehicles. Which brings me to another OMG. I don't know if our vehicles are going to be worth anything since now they are really pushing Hybrids. I don't know if they are going to make it a law or not, but if they do, it is another scary thing. How are we going to afford car payments. How is my mom, my MIL and my dad going to afford car payments like that when they only bring in $800 to$900 a month on their SS if even that.
I do have a bicycle, which i do plan on ridding more often but dang it hurts my legs and my tail to ride it.
ITs not fair, but it does negatively sm
affect your credit rating. Idon't get it. But if you listen to Suze Orman that is one of her big things she is always saying, don't close your accounts!
Fair enough! You mind your own uterus...
but if you don't mind it well and find yourself pregnant, you should have to pay for yoru abortion yourself. The government (and my tax dollars) should NOT fund abortion. I disagree with the procedure on moral grounds, so why should I fund it if you (or someone else) can't, as you put it, take care of their uterus?? Tell you what! You stay OUT of MY pocket and I will stay OUT of YOUR uterus!! Howzat??
That is an extremely fair pay and I would expect
them to do a great job for that. I have had the same problem with them starting out good and then having to go behind them like you said. I would first start out clearly stating what you want done and that you expect a good job consistently, even 6 months down the line. That is what I've been telling everyone I've talked to is that I need a consistent job each time.
Thanks for the info! Sounds fair to me. (nm)
New York State Fair
My husband and I went once twenty one years ago, before we were married, and then just last year finally took our nearly-grown kids after getting tickets to see James Taylor there. We had a ball and plan to do it again this year - every year at Labor Day. It's about a 2-1/2 hour drive for us, and well worth the effort, though I think we're going to get a hotel room instead of making it all in one day this time.
Let me guess, the 15 yo says, "It's not fair!"
I can hear it now, because I have three teenagers and I've been working with teens for years. I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard a drawn out exclamation, "It's not faaaiiiirrr."
My opinion: The 15 yo doesn't need more clothes, the 8 yo does need the long sleeved shirts. Therefore, it IS fair to spend money on one and not the other. It wouldn't be fair if the older child received something he/she does not need simply because needed items are being bought for the younger child.
Kids are very poor judges of fairness when it comes to getting "stuff" that they want. They have a hard time discerning between what they want and what they need, and a good many of them have no real appreciation for how much effort parents put into earning money and providing for their children. The kids just want, want, and want.
You are the parent, you are the judge and jury when it comes to decided what they need and what your budget can handle. Here's an opportunity to really teach fairness.
And if the kid continues to whine about it, turn your back and walk away. It takes two to argue. Give your reasons for your decision ONCE and walk away. Don't be manipulated, or your child will learn to be a manipulator.
Now, if the 15 year old wants to go and earn money OUTSIDE of the house, or do some out-of-the-ordinary chore that you are willing to pay for, say clean the garage. That's another good lesson. Work, earn, achieve. But I don't pay out cash for regular everyday stuff that has to be done simply because we all live together. When you do that, then it's hard to get them to do regular chores if a child doesn't need money.
Hey, invite me to give an opinion, and that's just what I do!
Is it fair to attack her parenting?
I thought Christians weren't supposed to judge. Is it because she *let* her daughter make her own decision to become atheist? I can't stand hypocrisy. It's what starts wars.
Okay, this probably wasn't really fair - hint
Most people have never even heard of this movie so I will give you a hint.
Richard Lewis plays a less than confident surgeon.
"I was a field surgeon during the war. We'd work long hours. We'd eat while we operated. One time, there's this young soldier I was trying to save, he took a cannonball in the stomach. After 18 hours of surgery, I did it. Never felt better in my life. Until, just like that, the patient dies. Turns out I left half a bologna sandwich in his lung."
Absolutely fair, otherwise the money might
be spent for their habir.
fair living wages
What do you feel is a FAIR and REASONABLE rate to pay an employee medical transcriptionist?
For point of reference, yesterday I did some basic calculations.
In 1987, I was hired as a TOTALLY GREEN NEWBIE at 4 cpl. In 1988-1989 sometime, I got a raise to 4.4 cpl. My "guarantee rate" for 90 days after hiring was $7/hour. The minimum wage at the time was $3.35 I think. ($4-something maybe?) So my "guarantee rate" was approximately double the minimum wage. At 4 cpl, I needed to be typing 175 lph as a brand new fresh newbie! And amazingly enough, I only used my "guarantee rate" during my first pay period - every pay period after that, I was paid at my lph rate, not my guarantee rate! This was on an Selectric TYPEWRITER, not a computer!
Nowadays, MQ has a standard "guarantee rate" for 30 days instead of 90, and it's $10/hour. Their minimum line production is 100 lph, or 150 lph for full-benefit full-time employees.
I would like to discuss the following questions on a new forum: http://mtfallenstars.proboards.com/index.cgi Please join me there!
What has changed in our industry? Why has the line-per-hour rate gone down instead of up? Why is the guarantee rate now less than double minimum wage? Why do seasoned experts in the field consider it a good day to make $15/hour while newbies struggle to stay off food stamps?
1 vote per phone number would be fair...sm
that way they'd really know what people think and not who has the fanciest speed dial modems that casts hundreds of votes per phone line.
*time wasting* ?? Not fair statement
my company offered me 10 yearly, is that low/fair?
Thanks in advance...it is probably low but I will still take it. Was just hoping someone else would share their info
I'd have a lot more energy and inclination to consider that if I got 7 days of fair help with hou
y
Voting is more fair on the dancing show. You have a
nm
Fair question. I have made choices in my life that sm
afford me to stay at home and work. When I say refuse, yes, I refuse to put my children in childcare because I can do so. I can choose to take them to a daycare provider, but i want to be their sole providers and protector always. I can do that. It is a luxury.
Now, do I look down upon moms and dads who use childcare? Absolutely not. My heart breaks for those moms who want to be at home with their children but for unforeseen circumstances they just can't. I understand that if I was in another situation where I couldn't work from home then they would be somewhere else, but then if that was the way it was I would not have had kids. My kids are 5 and 2. I've been doing MT for 9 years from home. So, you can do the math there.
Do you attend a local state fair in the summer? How far
s
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