I can totally relate to this post.

The messages you are viewing are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select the boards given in left menu

To keep at it would be overkill.

the most to tanmamma's post.  I too married very young.  1975 was a whirlwind year for me.  I turned 16 on 03/31, married on 04/12, and had my first child on 07/26!  I know I made the choices, and other than having a wonderful son, if I could go back and live my life again I would not make the same choices.  Then my husband and I really never developed a relationship because he was very young as well, and worked his butt off to provide for us.  I could not ask for a better provider.  However, five years ago when he had the affair, not just an affair, but an emotional affair, is when my world came tumbling down.  I have a lot of anger and resentment regarding this along with hurt and feeling betrayed, in that he gave her exactly what I had wanted from him all of our married life - - his time, his listening ear.  I don't know  -- I know that I need to make changes in my life or I am just going to scream.  I have two wonderful children (ages 33 and 26), a wonderful daughter-in-law and granddaughter.  I sometimes thing that I am being totally unrational and selfish, but I just feel that I need something for me - -

Again, thanks for letting me vent and express my feelings.  Expressing my feelings is something that I really have never done.  It just causes chaos in my marriage. 

Started getting the menstrual migraines about 6 years ago.  I'm in perimenopause now and while I'm now getting the headaches every 3 weeks instead of the usual every 4, the last 3 were less severe.  Mine always run 24 hours down to the hour exactly and yes, I can tell as soon as I wake up in the morning if it's going to be a migraine day and then I have about 3 hours to get things done because at some point I'll be going to bed for the day.  And it's not only the pain, it's the nausea, the flu-like feeling, the pain in the base of the skull, the whole putrid works.  I am allergic to Tylenol and try acetaminophen and aspirin but have to keep changing the type I take because after a while I start to associate the smell and taste of the meds so strongly with the migraine and I get a revulsion just looking at and smelling the meds.  Kind of like Pavlov and his dogs!! 

Anyway, the last 3 headaches I was actually able to keep at bay with OTC meds and was able to be up and about...it wasn't pleasant but was way better than usual.  So I've got my fingers crossed.  This perimenopause thing was heck for about 6 months and now has been better so I am hoping I am almost through.....

It's so nice to hear other peoples experience.  Not that I'm happy you feel you have an eating issue, but I try to explain how I feel to my hubby, and he tries to be supportive, but he just doesn't understand.  He has never had weight issues.  I honestly think you have to be in the situation to understand fully.  Just like a guy wouldn't understand how it feels to be pregnant.  (Which I loved being pregnant with my boys).  I gained so much weight with my kids, but I got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but still need to lose some.  My left lower leg has varicose veins really bad, to the point my leg is warm all the time, it aches and swells up some (not a whole lot, but it will get tight feeling).  When I went on NS last year, my leg felt better.  I appreciate your story!  Maybe the moderator can fix us up a weight board and we can all support each other!!

My daughter goes to college out of state in New England and does not get any financial aid, which makes no sense because when my other daughter was in college at the same time she got financial aid  for a private college she was going to.  Any scholarships that are available are only for Massachusetts residents.   This college charges for every little thing.   If she wants to join the gym, an extra $100.00.   She told me she needs to move in one day earlier for Soriety business and it will cost an extra $100.00 to move in one day earlier.  She thinks it is senseless also and tell them she won't be coming a day early. 

If you have outside health insurance you can probably have that charge dropped.  We declined the colleges health insurance at $1,0000 a semester. 

I feel bad that my girls have a lot of student loans to pay back but we are not wealthy at all.  We live in our means. There is no way we can come up with $25,000 a year for college. 

I have about a 11 yo Shih Tzu, he is a grumpy old man.  He has quite a variety of noises - groans, little whines, shrill barks, etc.  Very expressive.  Now I am working at home again (past 2 months) after 6 years out and he is so happy to sit by side of my desk.  But I am in the basement and he has a hard time with stairs (short little legs) so he whines at the top of the stairs, until someone is "watching him" before he begins to go down. 

It seems I can take privileges away from my oldest and it works very well.  My younger one, however, doesn't seem to care.  What does bother him is sitting on time-out.  I read a few books and they say the length of the timeout should be equal to the age - 5 years old then 5-minute timeout.  This frustrates him more because he likes to be in control and when I put him on timeout, he has no control.  I usually sit him at the dining room chair - no TV, no toys.  I use the timer on the microwave, so he can hear it when he beeps.  He knows to push the chair in when he gets up.  If he does something shortly thereafter, I double the length of the timeout.  A few times of this and eventually they catch on.

As for harming the dogs, I would probably keep them in a certain area of the house where I could see them.  At least then you know if he's doing something to them and hopefully can stop him before he really hurts them. 

As tempting as it is, name-calling will not teach your child anything but name-calling.  Taunting him with this is probably not a good idea.  If he continues to lie, I would continue to put him on timeout or take away privileges depending on the extent of the lie and the circumstances.

I know it's hard, but consistency is the key.  Eventually, he will learn.  It just takes some kids longer than others.

I love working from home, having no commute, being here for my kids.  The flexibility used to be good but that has gone down the tube as well as the $ cut and off shoring. 

The thought of ever having to go back to an office and deal with petty politics and cat fight nonsense makes me sick.  If I can find a job that is not related so much with people but just computers, I think that will be my idea job.  I, too, tend to not mix well with people (or rather I should say they don't play well with me...because I don't play...I'm usually too much of a work-a-holic type personality).  My extent of socializing is pretty much church people too. 

Well, I have 7 years to squeeze 2 more years of college in for a Bachelor's Degree.  I just need to pray about what major I should go for. 

For me change gets scarier the older I get. 

Thanks for sharing!

He sounds like he's good at his job and also at flirting.  He is interested in getting to know you better?  Why doesn't he just come out and say - hey baby, how about a roll in the hay?  Keep us posted if you pursue this.  I'd like to know how things go.  Believe me, he knows he's good looking.   Good Luck and be careful.