I can tell you they are defiant at that
Posted By: Stardust on 2008-11-26
In Reply to: I trust my daughter but not her friends - Frazzledmom
age. If I were to tell my daughter to make her bed or clean up the house, she argued. Then when I changed my tune and said be a slob if you want and acted like I didn't care and went about my business, she would make her bed and clean up around the house. They really test you at that age. Now that I look back though, I realize there was never a dull moment and I miss those days.
You have to keep thinking "unconditional love" to get you through the rough times with your kids.
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Defiant 2nd grader too
Wow! Is it the time of year or something? The last few months, my little boy has been absolutely defiant. He is fine in school, except when he goes to reading group (he does not like the teacher), he has tried to come home by having the clinic check his temperature. This went on for days until they caught on that he did not like the class. So he went to the guidance counselor and they are not allowing him to come to the clinic around reading group. (Boy who cried wolf.)
Now, at home he is angry all the time, complaining all of the time, rude to his stepdad, mean to me and his dad and my husband believe I have to spank. I have never spanked in my life and I don't even know how to approach that...Just today I was thinking there was something wrong with him, oppositional defiant disorder or some other diagnosis (see that's the MT in me), but reading here, maybe it is a phase (hopefully). Still I too am looking for a solution. His stepdad took his TV out of his room because my boy would not take a shower for days and he lied that he did. I was asleep because I work third shift at the time. But taking the TV away worked he took the shower. Then, I hear this morning when they were at the store he picked a glass beer bottle off the curb and just smashed it. I asked him why he did this and he was trying to think up some reason but he could not come up with anything. This worries me. The thing is it is nice you guys are talking about this right now because it is exactly what is going on in our house this very day! Any and all suggestions would be welcome. Sorry for the long post. :)
Open for suggestions on dealing with a defiant child...sm
Our 3rd grader has been really giving us a hard time this school year with not behaving at home and at school. Some of the defiance is things she's picking up from other kids at school, i.e. talking back, but she's getting into trouble at school more often for not following instructions. So far talking to her, giving her restrictions and setting goals isn't helping turn this around.
So.... for you parents who have dealt with this, what things did you try to get your kid to "get it" on how to behave appropriately?
Your son has ADHD, probably combined type along with opposition defiant disorder in a nutshell...sm
Been there for 14 years. Tantrums, fighting constantly with younger brother and sister to the point of injury, i.e. kicking, punching, slapping, throwing hammers, knifes, hard soled shoes, scissors, you name it. He is wonderful outside of the house. He is considered a very nice boy who is very well mannered and a hard worker (as he likes to do yardwork. That part of it is the ADHD at work). I knew something was wrong when he was about 1 1/2 years old and his sister came along and he started hitting her right away. Everyone from teachers to counselors told me it was all my fault and that my son had found a great way of manipulating me. That is...until the fourth grade when two weeks after school started a miraculous thing happened. His teacher called me in to say something was terribly wrong and that she suspected ADHD. I got the referral for testing with a pediatric neurologist and he was diagnosed with ADHD combined type (the hyperactive part), oppositional defiant disorder, and a learning disability. It has been a tortuous 14 years, I can tell you that. I have four more years to go and although I love my son more than words can say, at the age of 18 HE IS OUT THE DOOR!!!
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