I can relate to your situation...

• mother in-law help sm - i DO have a job!!
  • MIL - Amy
  • All the kids should pitch in to hire help. Shouldn't all be on - you. nm
  • similar situation - mtv
  • sm - MIL
    • sm - i DO have a job!!
      • It's funny that you say this... - ABC
  • I know they have nursing/rehab homes that do this - sm - Laura E.
    • sm - i DO have a job!!
      • I can relate to your situation... - ABC
      • Well sm.... - Anon

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My daughter goes to college out of state in New England and does not get any financial aid, which makes no sense because when my other daughter was in college at the same time she got financial aid  for a private college she was going to.  Any scholarships that are available are only for Massachusetts residents.   This college charges for every little thing.   If she wants to join the gym, an extra $100.00.   She told me she needs to move in one day earlier for Soriety business and it will cost an extra $100.00 to move in one day earlier.  She thinks it is senseless also and tell them she won't be coming a day early. 

If you have outside health insurance you can probably have that charge dropped.  We declined the colleges health insurance at $1,0000 a semester. 

I feel bad that my girls have a lot of student loans to pay back but we are not wealthy at all.  We live in our means. There is no way we can come up with $25,000 a year for college. 

the most to tanmamma's post.  I too married very young.  1975 was a whirlwind year for me.  I turned 16 on 03/31, married on 04/12, and had my first child on 07/26!  I know I made the choices, and other than having a wonderful son, if I could go back and live my life again I would not make the same choices.  Then my husband and I really never developed a relationship because he was very young as well, and worked his butt off to provide for us.  I could not ask for a better provider.  However, five years ago when he had the affair, not just an affair, but an emotional affair, is when my world came tumbling down.  I have a lot of anger and resentment regarding this along with hurt and feeling betrayed, in that he gave her exactly what I had wanted from him all of our married life - - his time, his listening ear.  I don't know  -- I know that I need to make changes in my life or I am just going to scream.  I have two wonderful children (ages 33 and 26), a wonderful daughter-in-law and granddaughter.  I sometimes thing that I am being totally unrational and selfish, but I just feel that I need something for me - -

Again, thanks for letting me vent and express my feelings.  Expressing my feelings is something that I really have never done.  It just causes chaos in my marriage. 

Started getting the menstrual migraines about 6 years ago.  I'm in perimenopause now and while I'm now getting the headaches every 3 weeks instead of the usual every 4, the last 3 were less severe.  Mine always run 24 hours down to the hour exactly and yes, I can tell as soon as I wake up in the morning if it's going to be a migraine day and then I have about 3 hours to get things done because at some point I'll be going to bed for the day.  And it's not only the pain, it's the nausea, the flu-like feeling, the pain in the base of the skull, the whole putrid works.  I am allergic to Tylenol and try acetaminophen and aspirin but have to keep changing the type I take because after a while I start to associate the smell and taste of the meds so strongly with the migraine and I get a revulsion just looking at and smelling the meds.  Kind of like Pavlov and his dogs!! 

Anyway, the last 3 headaches I was actually able to keep at bay with OTC meds and was able to be up and about...it wasn't pleasant but was way better than usual.  So I've got my fingers crossed.  This perimenopause thing was heck for about 6 months and now has been better so I am hoping I am almost through.....

It's so nice to hear other peoples experience.  Not that I'm happy you feel you have an eating issue, but I try to explain how I feel to my hubby, and he tries to be supportive, but he just doesn't understand.  He has never had weight issues.  I honestly think you have to be in the situation to understand fully.  Just like a guy wouldn't understand how it feels to be pregnant.  (Which I loved being pregnant with my boys).  I gained so much weight with my kids, but I got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but still need to lose some.  My left lower leg has varicose veins really bad, to the point my leg is warm all the time, it aches and swells up some (not a whole lot, but it will get tight feeling).  When I went on NS last year, my leg felt better.  I appreciate your story!  Maybe the moderator can fix us up a weight board and we can all support each other!!

I have about a 11 yo Shih Tzu, he is a grumpy old man.  He has quite a variety of noises - groans, little whines, shrill barks, etc.  Very expressive.  Now I am working at home again (past 2 months) after 6 years out and he is so happy to sit by side of my desk.  But I am in the basement and he has a hard time with stairs (short little legs) so he whines at the top of the stairs, until someone is "watching him" before he begins to go down. 

It seems I can take privileges away from my oldest and it works very well.  My younger one, however, doesn't seem to care.  What does bother him is sitting on time-out.  I read a few books and they say the length of the timeout should be equal to the age - 5 years old then 5-minute timeout.  This frustrates him more because he likes to be in control and when I put him on timeout, he has no control.  I usually sit him at the dining room chair - no TV, no toys.  I use the timer on the microwave, so he can hear it when he beeps.  He knows to push the chair in when he gets up.  If he does something shortly thereafter, I double the length of the timeout.  A few times of this and eventually they catch on.

As for harming the dogs, I would probably keep them in a certain area of the house where I could see them.  At least then you know if he's doing something to them and hopefully can stop him before he really hurts them. 

As tempting as it is, name-calling will not teach your child anything but name-calling.  Taunting him with this is probably not a good idea.  If he continues to lie, I would continue to put him on timeout or take away privileges depending on the extent of the lie and the circumstances.

I know it's hard, but consistency is the key.  Eventually, he will learn.  It just takes some kids longer than others.

I love working from home, having no commute, being here for my kids.  The flexibility used to be good but that has gone down the tube as well as the $ cut and off shoring. 

The thought of ever having to go back to an office and deal with petty politics and cat fight nonsense makes me sick.  If I can find a job that is not related so much with people but just computers, I think that will be my idea job.  I, too, tend to not mix well with people (or rather I should say they don't play well with me...because I don't play...I'm usually too much of a work-a-holic type personality).  My extent of socializing is pretty much church people too. 

Well, I have 7 years to squeeze 2 more years of college in for a Bachelor's Degree.  I just need to pray about what major I should go for. 

For me change gets scarier the older I get. 

Thanks for sharing!

Even though the agency may guarantee anonymity, it usually isn't too difficult to figure out who "blew the whistle." I have seen people harassed and threatened in similar circumstances. If this were a child who couldn't speak up for himself/herself, I would be calling Social Services in a New York minute. But that is not the case here.

It's up to the people involved to decide what to do. You made a suggestion, I pointed out some of the hazards involved in following your suggestion. Two sides to every story. 'Nuff said.

Long story short, my DH has a 2-hour commute (roughly, depending on Atlanta's traffic) to and from work each day.  Now, this is only temporary, as when our DD graduates in May, we're moving out closer to his job.

Last night, he asked me what I thought about him taking an apartment on that side of town for 2-3 days a week, like Tues-Thurs, coming home on Friday-Monday.  We have 3 kids, the youngest being 8, who is very, very close to his daddy (the other 2 are 20 and 17, so would probably relish the idea of Dad being gone overnight).  Not to mention the fact that I work at home and don't have a lot of contact with the outside world (y'all can feel me, can't ya?). 

I guess my question is, am I being selfish to say absolutely NO to this idea, or what? I felt like crying when he brought it up; just the thought of him being away for 2-3 nights a week makes me sad.  We have a very close relationship, spend all of our time together when not working, and I just am not sure how to feel about this.

Of note:  I am not the least bit worried about him *acting up* while he's away.  We have a super-strong marriage and are completely devoted to each other and our family. What would y'all do?

Yesterday, my son went on a field trip with the school to a local amusement park.  It was a 1-hour drive.  He begged me to take his Nintendo DS.  I finally gave in and said only 1 game.  I was chaperoning the field trip but was required to drive myself there and could take my son home with me, rather than riding the bus home.  When my son realized it was time for the buses to board the kids going back to the school, he said a girl in his class had his DS game (not the unit, just the game).  We looked for his class, but they must have already boarded the bus.  I told him to make sure he asked her for it first thing the following morning. 

When he got to school today, he asked the girl for it.  She said she gave it to another one of his friends in their class.  That boy said he put it in my son's desk.  Then another girl in the class said she found a DS game this morning under her desk and that she gave it to the girl that borrowed it originally.  Of course, that girl said that never happened.  Now my son has no game.  He just got it about a month ago and paid $35 for it out of his own money.

First of all, I have already told my son he will not be taking his DS on the bus anymore, period.  I don't care if it's an 8-hour drive both ways.  He's not taking it.  Here's my dilemma:  What do I do about this girl?  Do I just let it go?  I would really like to call her parents and let her know what she did in the hopes that they will take this opportunity to teach their child about responsibility and courtesy.  She asked to borrow my son's game.  My son was kind enough to lend it to here.  She should have returned it to him directly, not give it to someone to give it someone, etc.  I don't know this girl or her parents.  I'm not sure how well they'd take my parenting suggestion.  I'm not looking for them to replace the game (as much as I think they should, I will not ask that). 

I told my son he needs to take responsibility for his carelessness in not getting the game back when they got off the bus.  He knew he would not be getting back on the bus and likely would not see the girl the rest of the day.  I should mention these are 4th graders, so they should have had some clue here.

Okay, so do I call the parents or just chalk it up to a lesson learned?

You said below that you have not achieved orgasm.  I think that may be a large part of the issue.  Also, as a previous poster said, if you are continually aroused and then let down, you may get to a point where you don't want to 'try' anymore.  It can become emotionally draining. 

What I suggest is that you spend some time alone and learn about your body.  What I mean by this is learning how to please yourself first.  When you discover how to achieve orgasm on your own, you will then be able to help your partner help you achieve orgasm together.  If you are experiencing orgasm during sex, most likely you will want to have sex more often and will feel more confident. 

I would also suggest that you spend some time online reading about the G-spot.  I know it is somewhat contraversial and not everyone believes that spot exists, but I think that is a good place to start as far as information is concerned.  Try masturbating on your own and see what happens.  Learn about the sensation of ograsm so you know what signs you are looking for.  I know a lot of women get a strong sensation and get scared and stop.  So, really, read about what signs you are looking for. 

Also, you can purchase a vibrator.  You can use that alone or with your partner during sex.  Trojan has a new fingertip vibrator that you can buy online.  I saw a commercial for it, and it looks like it would work fine.  It is really hard not to reach an orgasm with the aid of a vibrator. 

Okay, I hope I wasn't too graphic for anyone's taste.  If you want to talk in more detail or have any questions you don't feel comfortable posting, send me an e-mail and I'll try to help you out.

would you do? I need advice. My father has told me he is about to be evicted from his apartment for not paying rent. Background info: My mom and dad are divorced. He lives alone. For years my mom took care of him and paid his way. He sat at home and did basically nothing. I hate to be ugly but I have to speak the truth. My mom would have to give him gas money, etc. When my mom wouldn't give him money he would go to his elderly mother and get it who was on a fixed income. So he has a past of not working. He says there is no work but he has said that for years even when the economy wasn't bad.

Okay, once they divorced he has been on skidrow. He is always broke of course cause rarely works. Every once in a while he will haul a load of gravel. He owns a dump truck. If there is no gravel to haul then he sits and does nothing. He is now to the point of being evicted and has no food. So feeling sorry for him I bought him some cereal, milk, sandwich stuff, chips, and vienna sausage. I am not made of money though. I mean we are just making it like everyelse. I bought him the food 2 days ago. I did it cause like I said I felt bad for him and I am his daughter. Plus I said now he can't say he doesn't have anything to eat. Well today 2 days later he comes over here and says I am out of milk. I can't eat any cereal. I said do you still have sandwich stuff? He said yeah but I don't have no milk. I guess that was my cue to buy him some more. I didn't offer though. I can't buy milk for him every 2 days. Then he says well what am I gonna do when I have nowhere to go? I said well you will have to go live with one of your friends who are single until you can get a place. By the way, I am married, and my husband says oh he__ no he is not staying here. He feels like he could do something to make some money. He said no I can't do that. I don't want them to know I am being evicted. When I didn't offer for him to stay here, he just sat there and put his head down. Then he said you know I have been feeling bad lately, dizzy and all. I think I may have had a stroke. Then he goes into this whole guilt trip. I don't know if I am gonna make it much longer. My I mention he has no high blood pressure or anything. He has been in perfect health. He feels perfectly fine to do whatever. But he says he may die because his health is bad. So I am like well you need to have some testing if you think that. Then he says well I don't have enough gas to get back home. I was like well why did you come here if you didn't have enough to get home? He has done this plenty of times too. He will come and say I don't have enough gas to get home . I guess I may have to sleep on your couch. He said that before one time and he did make it home and was riding around the next day so he must have had gas or money. Might I add he rides around all day. I don't know how he has money for gas and doesn't have money for food.

What would you do if this was your father? I told him to go get welfare and he said no. I don't want to do that. I said well can't you drive the dozer for Josh? That is a friend of his. He wouldn't answer. My mom asked him when she seen him why don't you drive Josh's dozer. He knows how to do that kind of work. He said it don't pay enough. Well if I was begging for food and being evicted I don't think how much the pay was would be an issue. Then after he finally leaves and I have offered no money for gas or anything. He calls me over and over and says I don't have nothing but sandwich stuff to eat. I can't believe my family won't help me. I said dad I bought you food the other day. I have to buy groceries myself and pay bills, etc. He said I know but how can your mom not help me out? I said cause you are divorced. I mean you get my drift, I'm sure.

When I turn him away, I know I will be the cruel daughter, but I feel like he could help himself a little. What gives? Advice please?

Being a cat person (all 3 indoors and scared to death of everyone, which is perfect), I love my neighbor's cats who come over.  But they are spayed and neutered and do not mark, etc.  That said, this is not always the case. 

I remember hearing on Randy Lemmon's Gardenline (ktrhradiolcom in Houston, 740 AM) where he suggested putting something under the ground.  Of course, this was for the hoomes in our area, and might not even come close to your needs.  It's been so long since I heard it that the entire thing escapes me.  I will see if I can find it or remember for you.  Otherwise, if you go to that site above and click on the Gardenline link, then go to the very bottom you will see a tab (red, as I recall??) that has all of Randy's archived tip sheets.  In fact, I was looking through them for something a frend needed last week.  The only thing is that I'm ont sure if he put this in an actual tip sheet.  This was definitely a call from a listener.

You could also Google some things like that, and/or check sites like SPCA, etc. for ideas.

It can be frustrating.  We have rats, possums, etc. here, but Houston is Bayou City.  I would never use D-Con b/c of the warfarin in it.

I will check on this later and see if anyone has added anything. 

Good luck.