I can relate to several things...

I love working from home, having no commute, being here for my kids.  The flexibility used to be good but that has gone down the tube as well as the $ cut and off shoring. 

The thought of ever having to go back to an office and deal with petty politics and cat fight nonsense makes me sick.  If I can find a job that is not related so much with people but just computers, I think that will be my idea job.  I, too, tend to not mix well with people (or rather I should say they don't play well with me...because I don't play...I'm usually too much of a work-a-holic type personality).  My extent of socializing is pretty much church people too. 

Well, I have 7 years to squeeze 2 more years of college in for a Bachelor's Degree.  I just need to pray about what major I should go for. 

For me change gets scarier the older I get. 

Thanks for sharing!

• Anyone out there going to college at age 40? sm - starting over
  • back to school - Marilyn
    • I hate office politics! sm - starting over
      • back to school - Marilyn
  • I want to. - Pugmom
  • I went back 11 years ago... - CrankyBeach
    • see message - starting over
      • Why I stuck with MT after midlife crisis college degree - CrankyBeach
        • Crankybeach - billing burnout - Pugmom
          • Whoa. You SAID it, sister! - CrankyBeach
        • I can relate to several things... - starting over
  • I will be 40 in August and am back in school after 20 years - - Amanda
  • I am and I'm a little older than you. - OldMT
    • I went back after 1 year in the 1970s in medical assisting, got my A.A.S.at age 55 and am returning - MTIAM
      • ME AGAIN - MTIAM

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the most to tanmamma's post.  I too married very young.  1975 was a whirlwind year for me.  I turned 16 on 03/31, married on 04/12, and had my first child on 07/26!  I know I made the choices, and other than having a wonderful son, if I could go back and live my life again I would not make the same choices.  Then my husband and I really never developed a relationship because he was very young as well, and worked his butt off to provide for us.  I could not ask for a better provider.  However, five years ago when he had the affair, not just an affair, but an emotional affair, is when my world came tumbling down.  I have a lot of anger and resentment regarding this along with hurt and feeling betrayed, in that he gave her exactly what I had wanted from him all of our married life - - his time, his listening ear.  I don't know  -- I know that I need to make changes in my life or I am just going to scream.  I have two wonderful children (ages 33 and 26), a wonderful daughter-in-law and granddaughter.  I sometimes thing that I am being totally unrational and selfish, but I just feel that I need something for me - -

Again, thanks for letting me vent and express my feelings.  Expressing my feelings is something that I really have never done.  It just causes chaos in my marriage. 

Started getting the menstrual migraines about 6 years ago.  I'm in perimenopause now and while I'm now getting the headaches every 3 weeks instead of the usual every 4, the last 3 were less severe.  Mine always run 24 hours down to the hour exactly and yes, I can tell as soon as I wake up in the morning if it's going to be a migraine day and then I have about 3 hours to get things done because at some point I'll be going to bed for the day.  And it's not only the pain, it's the nausea, the flu-like feeling, the pain in the base of the skull, the whole putrid works.  I am allergic to Tylenol and try acetaminophen and aspirin but have to keep changing the type I take because after a while I start to associate the smell and taste of the meds so strongly with the migraine and I get a revulsion just looking at and smelling the meds.  Kind of like Pavlov and his dogs!! 

Anyway, the last 3 headaches I was actually able to keep at bay with OTC meds and was able to be up and about...it wasn't pleasant but was way better than usual.  So I've got my fingers crossed.  This perimenopause thing was heck for about 6 months and now has been better so I am hoping I am almost through.....

It's so nice to hear other peoples experience.  Not that I'm happy you feel you have an eating issue, but I try to explain how I feel to my hubby, and he tries to be supportive, but he just doesn't understand.  He has never had weight issues.  I honestly think you have to be in the situation to understand fully.  Just like a guy wouldn't understand how it feels to be pregnant.  (Which I loved being pregnant with my boys).  I gained so much weight with my kids, but I got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but still need to lose some.  My left lower leg has varicose veins really bad, to the point my leg is warm all the time, it aches and swells up some (not a whole lot, but it will get tight feeling).  When I went on NS last year, my leg felt better.  I appreciate your story!  Maybe the moderator can fix us up a weight board and we can all support each other!!

My daughter goes to college out of state in New England and does not get any financial aid, which makes no sense because when my other daughter was in college at the same time she got financial aid  for a private college she was going to.  Any scholarships that are available are only for Massachusetts residents.   This college charges for every little thing.   If she wants to join the gym, an extra $100.00.   She told me she needs to move in one day earlier for Soriety business and it will cost an extra $100.00 to move in one day earlier.  She thinks it is senseless also and tell them she won't be coming a day early. 

If you have outside health insurance you can probably have that charge dropped.  We declined the colleges health insurance at $1,0000 a semester. 

I feel bad that my girls have a lot of student loans to pay back but we are not wealthy at all.  We live in our means. There is no way we can come up with $25,000 a year for college. 

I have about a 11 yo Shih Tzu, he is a grumpy old man.  He has quite a variety of noises - groans, little whines, shrill barks, etc.  Very expressive.  Now I am working at home again (past 2 months) after 6 years out and he is so happy to sit by side of my desk.  But I am in the basement and he has a hard time with stairs (short little legs) so he whines at the top of the stairs, until someone is "watching him" before he begins to go down. 

It seems I can take privileges away from my oldest and it works very well.  My younger one, however, doesn't seem to care.  What does bother him is sitting on time-out.  I read a few books and they say the length of the timeout should be equal to the age - 5 years old then 5-minute timeout.  This frustrates him more because he likes to be in control and when I put him on timeout, he has no control.  I usually sit him at the dining room chair - no TV, no toys.  I use the timer on the microwave, so he can hear it when he beeps.  He knows to push the chair in when he gets up.  If he does something shortly thereafter, I double the length of the timeout.  A few times of this and eventually they catch on.

As for harming the dogs, I would probably keep them in a certain area of the house where I could see them.  At least then you know if he's doing something to them and hopefully can stop him before he really hurts them. 

As tempting as it is, name-calling will not teach your child anything but name-calling.  Taunting him with this is probably not a good idea.  If he continues to lie, I would continue to put him on timeout or take away privileges depending on the extent of the lie and the circumstances.

I know it's hard, but consistency is the key.  Eventually, he will learn.  It just takes some kids longer than others.

Things other people fear that I do not include snakes (awwww, they so cute! they look like they're smiling!), rats, gangbangers (except Mara Salvatrucha, move them up to my "scary" list), poverty, death, traveling at high rates of speed with almost anyone sober, bats (CUTE!!!!!), homeless people, Sasquatch, most of my male friends, bears, mountain lions. 

Fear is such an odd thing, don't you think? So much of it is relative to our own experiences in life, yet at the same time some of them are downright irrational. 

So, how 'bout you? What will send  you running screaming in the other direction, and what things can you take care of when someone else goes running screaming in the other direction?

I went through a similar situation with my (now ex-) husband's family during the ten years we were married.

Your husband is NOT the problem, his parents are. You said that your husband tried (albeit unsuccessfully) to get along with his father. So, it seems to me that he *DID* try as best as he could. But, sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things don't work out. So you do what the song says, "You have to know when to hold up; know when to fold up ..."

Now, it seems to me that his parents are treating your children like "holiday turkeys," ... bring them to be brought to the table once or twice a year, but ignore them the rest of the year. Yes, that's pretty much what it sounds like, and my heart goes out to your children 'cause I know the pain they are suffering ... because of their grandparents.

I also suspect that the ONLY reason your husband's parents went to the event was to "stick it" to your husband, and not because of the grandchildren. When you love someone and are truly proud of them, you do everything you can to be part of their life.

The ONLY people who matter in all of this are your immediate family ... You, your husband, and your children. Do not let his parents tear you all apart. I think you all need to get into therapy (you, your husband, and the children), so you can work through this problem AS A FAMILY UNIT, 'cause you're the only family that truly matters. You're all in pain and all of your feelings need to be counted, by each other.

Take it from someone who lived it. 

Your writing my store.  I too went to court over 20 times due to custody battle with a dud.  After 4 years of being dragged in and out of court, I ended up the what I had before I started $100 a week.  I did get sole custody of my son though.  I spent probably about $20,000 on lawyers (4 of them).   I wrote a credit check for $5000 to hold is escrow because I had to sell my house and was planning on paying it after the sale of my house.  Well, the lawyer cashed my check and ended up in jail after he ripped off about $75,000 from clients.  I was out $5000.  

I also had a warrant out for my arrest becuse my ex took a notice I had to go to court out of my mail box.  Being that he was good friends with the neighbors from h&#%, I did get arrested and put in jail for about 4 hours which cost me another $250 for the bail. 

Keep your head up.  It will get better.  I haven't gone to court since 8/05 because both judges, the one in family court and the one in municipal court both told my ex to leave me alone.    Everytime I get the mail I'm expecting to get a notice to go to court.   Believe it or not, it wasn't so bad being in jail, a cell to myself, and away from the h$&% he put me through. 

So here I am, had to sell my house, broke as anything, living in a condo, but my kid is all mine. The ex moved 2 minutes away from me "to keep an eye on me" but what goes around comes around and I'm just waiting for the day he gets what he deserves.  My son refuses to go to his house because his girlfriend also took me to court a few times.  He is supposed to pick him up on Saturday morning and bring him home Sunday night every weekend.  So guess who has to give the kid money for the weekend - me.   That comes out of the $100 a week along with lunch money, clothing, food, etc.   I literally ended up having a nervous breakdown, 6 days in the looney bin. 

Keep your head up, I know exactly what you're going through and somehow it does get better.  ');>

Hayseed said, "No more breads, pastas, rice, or taters....all the things we really loved." That could be part of my problem. We've been eating a lot of pasta, rice and taters because hubby can't have dark greens, which includes salads, green beans, etc. because of gout and on Coumadin for AVR.  Don't know what else to make anymore.

We gave up coffee, now, too, because both of us were having stomach problems with it. Two cups a day was our limit. He can survive with it, I can't seem to do that. LOL

Dinosaur said, " I had undiagnosed diabetes and would just "poop" out when my blood sugar was too low (or even too high!)."  Diabetes runs in my family and I've been watching my counts for the past 10 years. So far, so good. I don't eat sugary stuff like pies,cakes, candy, soda. Don't like sweets that much.

I was checked for Lyme disease a couple years ago because I had 2 tick bites. That was negative.

The only allergy I have is my home. Ever since we moved to this house, I've had the flu, colds, runny nose, sneezing, coughing, etc.

Guess I'll have to make an appointment with a doctor and try to find out. Usually I'm one of those people who has something wrong that no one can figure it out. When I was 40, I had mono (rare for my age group) and was told I was "borderline Epstein-Barr and Guillame-Barre [sic]."

 I was also checked for B12 deficiency (borderline), Anemia (borderline), rheumatoid arthritis, etc. You name it, I had the test over a 2 year period. The answer? Nada. I'm beginning to think all these "borderline" tests are coming back to bite me.

Thanks for your help. I think I will make an appointment to get checked out again.

1.  Your house payment probably also has your taxes and insurance added in.  If paid off, you'll still have to pay these.  Mine account for about 1/2 of my total house payment.  Plus, 6% is low compared to the other interest rates.  

2.  Debt to credit ratio:  I've had all of my credit cards increase their rates to "default" rates just because my debt was a high percentage of all my credit (no missed payments, no late pays, etc.)  This will affect the teaser rates as well. 

3.  Your 401k is also probably earning some type of interest.  Take that "lost" interest from money you've borrowed into account.  That will help you better compare the interest rates. 

If you feel you have to talk to a debt counselor, there is no shame in that!  Just make sure it's a reputable company.  As with most things, there are a lot of scams out there.  Good Luck!

One, she's a cleaning lady, not a housekeeper...

Two, you didn't catch her "red handed", you don't even know 100% for sure that she took your drawers.  Red handed is when you catch someone in the act, which in this case you did not...