I can identify
Posted By: Stop.The.Offshoring on 2009-03-24
In Reply to: no its a big mess that I don't sm - MT Trying to Stay Sane
I so can identify with you. Saw your post and had to respond cause it touched a nerve. I have two sons that are like night and day. Oldest is early 30s, youngest late 20s. My oldest I had not seen for 13 years. He is angry/hurt about my divorce many years ago. Never got over it I guess. Very long story. Recently I found him on a social website after searching and searching for years for him. I got my younger son to email him. Well he did respond and did come up here once (he is now out of state) and I got to see my 3 grandkids for the first time for about 4 hours. They are so cute. My grandson looks just like my ex when he was a teen (he was a cutie). My oldest granddaughter looks just like me (might I add she is beautiful). And my younger granddaughter looks like my sister (she is just as cute as a little button). I did see the oldest grandchild briefly when he was about 6 months old before my son quit talking to me for the 13 years. Well that was the last time I saw/heard from any of them. I was mailing down packages with little home made gifts and such for the grandkids, sending old fashioned letters, and emails and trying to call. Never got an answer. He has not kept in touch with my younger son, either. I don't think about it too much, I cry my eyes out and it breaks my heart. I wish I could see my grandkids every day. I miss my son, too. I love him very much. But I think he will never see me again. I thought by now he would be over his anger, but there is so much involved. I told him I love him the last I saw him and told the grandkids no matter where they are to know I am out there thinking of them and saying little prayers for them. I kind of knew my son would pull his usual disappearing act, so I took a lot of pictures and kept a lot of memories in my heart of those 4 hours. I guess I am not alone in the disappearing/reappearing kid department. Just my little comment.
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I kind of sort of can identify with what you said..sm
I am a mom of three wonderful boys, and grandmother of three beautiful granddaughters. This goes way back, but my own mother does not even know my sons birthdays, much less my granddaughter's birthdays. She knows my sister's kids birthdays though, and their kids birthdays. kind of hurts. My sister has always been her *favorite* so her kids mean more to her than mine do, but then she will *complain* that my kids don't even know her as a grandma. Well, gee, I wonder why? After 37 years of never acknowledging their birthdays, christmas, or any other special day, why would she expect them to consider her their grandmother? If she had taken an interest in them when they were younger, they would be taking an interest in her now. This breaks MY heart, as I know it should be different, but unfortunately the past cannot be changed. So, I know exactly what you are talking about.
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