I can't say

Posted By: spankedMT on 2008-08-26
In Reply to: I thank you for your input, but I know - at the end of my rope

from a mother's point of view what to do, since I'm not a mom yet. But I can tell you from the point of view of a little bratty bullying girl (ME!) that when I was younger and I bullied my brother and neighborhood kids, it took about three times of my dad getting a hold of me with the yard stick that I learned it didn't pay to be mean!

Did I like it then? No. But i'm telling you, I thank my dad everyday now for whooping my behind when I needed it. Timeouts for me were jokes. If you took something away from me, I could care less.

My dad also took me to counseling (I had a lot of problems with my stepmom and they figured it was my fault, not hers.) You may want to try a different psychologist. I got a bad vibe from my psych in the first meeting and I wouldn't talk to her. She was one of those "children should be seen and not heard" types and I wouldn't answer any of her questions.

I know we aren't animals, but if you look at the animal kingdom - take the horse for example - when a foal starts acting up or being "obnoxious" the mother will bite or sometimes even kick the foal. With lions it's the same thing, they mother will swat a cub. I think deep down our primitive instincts demand a hierarchy in the home. Right now it seems like your son thinks he is at the top of that hierarchy, whereas he should be at the bottom. From this behavior of beating on his older brother, it is like he is trying to fight for that spot. The problem is, when he gets that spot, who's spot is he going to go for next?

Like I said, I'm not a mother, but I just thought I would offer my advice from an ex-bully's point of view!

Complete Discussion Below:

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What would you do? - at the end of my rope
- military school? it worked for a guy i know. nm - MTMT38
- Same situation - long message
  - Forgot to add... - sm
    - I guess he is being good now - anon
      - He is... - sm
    - Thank you -- it helps just knowing - at the end of my rope
      - can I share a situation with you I will never forget - mtmomof2
- Nanny 911 would say he is angry about some injustice once - Yo
  - After 6 months of counseling, - at the end of my rope
- Important - Tonya
  - The child psychologist didn't - at the end of my rope
    - there is a reason and why would you consider sending an 8-year-old to a home? - you need to counsel. no message
      - First off, I was very upset when I wrote - at the end of my rope
- Make him repay every mean thing he does to his brother with 3 nice things sm - MeMT
  - Oh and DON'T back down. Make sure he follows through sm - MeMT
    - That's an interesting form of punishment - at the end of my rope
      - Why wait for dad? When you do that, you imply you are the weaker parent, for lack of - better term. Set boundaries and stick to them. sm
        I know exactly what you mean - at the end of my rope
- Tell 'em you're going to SELL them to the - highest bidder.
- i know it is wearing on you but the recommend amount of timeout is 1 minute for each year of age. - that is all their little minds can handle or they
  - I know the timeout rules all too - at the end of my rope
- You won't like my answer ... SM - Fire away, folks!
  - it will work at what cost? Your child learns to - associate love with hitting
  - I don't necessarily agree you should "wear them both out" SM - RockinMT
    - When I came out to the room they - at the end of my rope
      - Sounds like he got a LOT of attention - this afternoon. Maybe what he's looking for.
      - Proof positive that time-outs are nothing but - a WASTE of time. Give 'em a SWAT.
        I thank you for your input, but I know - at the end of my rope
        I can't say - spankedMT
        Never have to spank mine and they listen very well nm - Disagree
  - What do you mean by "wear both - at the end of my rope
    - Spanking. - nm
      - That's what I thought you meant. - at the end of my rope
        Haven't spanked hard enough. Believe me, I know. - Make it memorable and they'll quit.
        believe it or not, some kids don't - at the end of my rope
        temper, temper - truffle
        Thank you -- my husband works - at the end of my rope
- update - at the end of my rope
  - I think you found your own answer... - quote he pushes my buttons unquote -
    - I think you're right -- thanks n/m - at the end of my rope
- temper - mom of boys
  - I agree - this sounds like our cousins son - kd

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