I can't even deal with these comments. Thx for your concern.
Posted By: concerned mom MT on 2007-12-11
In Reply to: I'll be gladly judged for!!! I STAND UP FOR MY KIDS!! - What uselesss parenting.
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Thanks for your concern, but sm
I disagree with you concerning the medical bill. I have watched enough People's Court and other court shows to know that it doesn't matter if you have insurance or not. If we didn't have insurance, they would be paying the full bill. They're responsible for the full bill, period.
We pay a premium every week to have insurance, and they shouldn't and won't benefit from that.
This is a neighbor who lives down the street from us. They're not friends of ours. Our daughter was friendly with their daughter. We've only been here about a year. They moved in a month before we did.
We have contacted an attorney who will have to help us settle this. These people have very little, if any, remorse. They had their dog out without a leash just a few weeks after this incident next door to our house! I had to ask them twice to put the dog up. My daughter was screaming and crying in the meantime!
I don't think you understand. This was a very traumatic event for my daughter. I didn't want to get too graphic, but the dog had to be pulled off of her hand. She had to run back home with blood dripping from her hand onto the street and sidewalk.
How do you think it's fair for someone to pay $87 for this trauma that their dog inflicted?
We were trying to be the nice neighbors and not sue from the beginning when everyone was telling us to sue. We thought we could work this out. I told the attorney that we want to sue for the maximum amount, including our lost wages.
If I had a dog that did this to another child, I would be devastated and would probably even get rid of the dog. I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I gave their family a check for $87! I think $800 was very reasonable.
This is a real concern
This happened a couple of times in a small town nearby us this week, it seems some perpetrators read the obituaries to see who won't be home since their attending a funeral, then robbing the people blind!
While our neighbor's son Dan was dying at his own place some guy came in and stole the Dan's golf clubs, and his TV.
I was going to attend the funeral, and a friend called me up the very day, and not friendly told me to stay home, and keep an eye on the house. I was kind of irritated with her at the time, but now I understand.
The #1 concern in my life is
my child and what she faces. Sorry, do not have a bleeding heart for your terms of what in years past just deposited in the nearest garbage can.
If this woman had any real concern...
If this woman really cares for these eight babies, she would give most of them up for adoption. There is no way she can raise this litter along with her other children in a responsible fashion.
Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
Read all of this and it seems your main concern
here is at the very end, how do working parents deal with this, not about anything else much. You are in the dark about how parents (myself included) for years past dealt with children when the parents (myself included) worked outside the home. Talk about a mind blower, huh? We had either daycare, babysitters, some had grandparents who watched the children, other family members helped out some. Seems to me your concern is childcare mostly.
Not always, sometimes totally benign. The imbalance is a concern, though. nm
s
Buck stops with you. Your health is your #1 concern.
s
I would call the counselor out of concern for this child. nm
@
Anytime you feel that internal concern
it's important to follow through. Have him evaluated, perhaps multiple evaluations. You can't go wrong. Either your fears will be set aside, or you can begin early intervention.
I have no experience with autistic children, but I can tell you that my youngest child did many of the things that you list under "red flags". He obsessed over lining things up, particularly cars. In addition, he'd get VERY upset if you disturbed his line. He barely spoke until he was 3 years old. He always seemed distant to us, not wanting or giving hugs, kisses, not interacting very much. I really felt that he had some sort of serious delay. In comparison, his older brother was always very engaging, talkative, learned to read at age 3. We were very concerned about our younger child.
Fast forward a little bit... our younger son had a slow start in school, but by second grade, he was identified as gifted. He eventually came out of his shell, became talkative, and today is a confident, poised young man, quick to smile and hug his mother. He was just offered scholarships to two major universities. He is planning a career in engineering.
Our older son, who grabbed all sorts of attention for being so advanced, is a wonderful young man, too. He's level-headed, respectful, a real man of character at the age of 20. When he entered kindergarten, he was tested at a 3rd grade reading level, and was equally ahead of the curve in all the other academic areas. Teachers loved him. Eh, but all good things come to an end. He always marched to the beat of a different drummer, and he never was motivated by anything external to his own desires. As a result, he was never much for bringing home good grades. "I know the stuff, why must you all ask me to prove it?" He's returning to college today with a smile on his face and once again on academic probation. "Don't worry mom, you know I know this stuff." The odds are, he will most likely pull himself back up to minimum acceptable standards, just as he has all through his school career. I have a collection of failure warnings that spans years. But he's a wonderful human being and a honorable man, and very smart.
My point is, kids do surprise their parents! Good luck to you and your family.
I also have to consider my income - not just whether I enjoy the job; that is my main concern. nm
x
Oh, sorry, misunderstood. Listed under social hx, no mention of a health concern. (NM)
x
other comments
Your comments are appreciated.
I second those comments!
It is like parents with the loudest, rudest kids think the entire world should put up with them. The parents seem tuned out. How nice for them! The rest of us have to be subjected to their screaming, whining, running around tables, kicking the back of the booth, and even pulling of our hair. If you dare say anything the parents look at you as if you are the devil himself. Bring on the animals any day of the week!
Thanks everyone for your comments (sm)
I am taking your suggestions to heart...he has a way of making me feel like everything is always my fault..I am going to call an abuse hotline as well as AA and just talk to them and see what they think. Thanks again so much.
In appropriate comments from
Taking a poll here...how many say something to their MIL if inappropriate comments are made and how many just let it role off their back no matter how hurtful the comments are? and I don't mean the first time a comment is made, I'm talking about repeated, obvious, and sometimes in front of other people putting you on the spot. and I'm talking about a MIL that lives close and cannot be avoided.
Thank you everyone for your comments sm
It helps a lot to be reminded that I am doing the right thing. I think my tendency is to just want to fix everything but this time I can't.
Looking for inappropriate comments? I don't think so! (sm)
Okay......and thanks for your input. I am the OP and I just want for you to know that I think that your comment was a little on the ignorant side. "I am not soooo appalled." I was a little shocked that he cared so much to go out of his way to make sure I found the right size bra. (He walked away from his job to come over to the checkout counter that I was at and felt the need to ask that, even though I was being checked out by a female clerk that was fully capable of making sure that I found what I needed?) Even the female clerk looked at him and said "What are you talking about?" I told her about the bra I returned to his service desk an hour earlier and she said "He is weird. That is none of his business!"
For the record, I receive male attention frequently and I am not easily offended or overly prudish when comments are made to me. This on the other hand was a bit strange.
My intentions were to ask others if they would consider this question to be inappropriate or not if they had been asked the same question under the same circumstances. I am not playing 'poor victim' here as I consider this a minor incident (yet still inappropriate).
In my opinion, it sounds to me like you don't get many comments offered to you and perhaps you would welcome them if you did? (That's what I get from your comment anyways!)
Exactly, Hayseed. Just look at the comments
on here. I feel sorry for her. People go through things like this all the time in life and do some of the things she has done, but they don't have to read about it in the paper the next morning. I think she needs some help and her family really needs to step in. I read an article that the guy she was seeing last said she would curl into a ball after they had s** and would say, why can't they just leave me alone. It's really sad. I don't think she is a bad person, but that she needs help. She's obviously crying out for help and is going through a lot right now. Everyone on here that has been divorced, just imagine everything about your divorce being front page...it's already painful enough without all that. People are cut throat.
You got me!! Even with the comments below, I didnt get it.
x
Thanks all for the nice comments. Yes
Hayseed, he is a boxer. His name is Dempsey. He is the only thing keeping me sane lately LOL.
smart comments
Me, too. Makes me want to jump in and blast them back! No reason for it.
HA HA HA - loved your comments
Perfect...lmao here....I'm going to cut you off, I hope you believe that. HA HA HA....too funny. I can tell you've got a great sense of humor and also a wonderful outlook on life.
Think I was too harsh in my comments to you sm
I apologize, I am very raw right now from undeserved treatment by DIL so when I saw your posting title, it bothered me. I love my grandkids so much that I would welcome a list of "rules" if one were presented to me. It's too bad she uses the Bible, I have had this done to me more than once by those who misunderstand the good book and use it as a weapon. I certainly would have a heart-to-heart with her, don't lose your temper, and let it be known that interpretation of the Bible is a very private affair and she should never mention demons, bring a Bible to your home, etc., etc. Give her the option of playing by your rules and an option of her only playing children's games, watching a movie, etc., and keeping her opinions to herself. Give her supervised visiting priviliges and then you're off the hook if she doesn't accept. If she persists, then she truly is in need of psychological help which is not up to you to provide. Give her the choice and if she chooses to keep it up, then you'll have no recourse, little kids don't need this. At least you tried, it's her choice to not adhere to your rules, unfortunately, she's missing out on a lot, I wish she could see how lucky she is to be "talked to" and given options. Good luck with it. Hate the sin and not the sinner. I once had to lay down the law with my sister and the Bible. I have made it clear that I won't tolerate Bible talk, she can come any time but the conversation has to be light, not inappropriate, not religious and no politics. It has worked pretty well, once in awhile she has a slip and has to be reminded but we are talking - no religion, no end-of-the world,no Jesus talk, it takes reinforcing every once in awhile. Good luck with it all, it's stressful.
Not sure how to take your comments at this point but (sm)
I don't think I am amazing in any way. I think I had no other choice than to leave and I will probably live the rest of my life on a wing and a prayer.
I didn't see your comments before sm
but it is a subject that has been driving me nuts for several years. I am trying to figure out what happened to decency!
i have already addressed this. they blow those comments off
this was a TEACHER.
I guess I could have stated my comments
a little more detail. Both MIL and DIL like to cook. We always have a wonderful Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner. I guess I was just raised in a family that we had family traveling in to visit, we would do just a little extra. BTW, we actucally have a joint Pizza Hut and KFC restaurant. We call it the Cluck and Hut. That is why I suggested KFC. Doesn't matter now, I got butchered at the beauty shop last night and have been crying ever since. I am not leaving the house for at least 2 weeks.
Where are the nasty comments. just some very strong
opinions that happen to not agree with your opinion. I thought we were all just discussing. So what if someone doesn't agree with my opinion, that's fine. We are all entitled to our opinion and we just have to agree to disagree. Please don't take this so personally. I don't think any of it was aimed at you. 
He has made a lot of comments about my weight (sm)
so I have been to self-conscious to be with him. But if he is using my undies doesn't that mean he wants me? Or not? I'm confused.
Any comments from DWTS fans?
I missed a bit of yesterday's Dancing with the Stars finale show, but looks like Helio and Julianne overall had the strongest performance.
What happened to Mel and Maks' freestyle? They were like kinda deflated or something.
IMO, Marie and Jonathan usually come up with pleasant surprises, but last night's freestyle was a real puzzler - I am not sure why Jonathan would agree to choreograph such a cutesy (yawn) routine when the competition is so fast and fierce. Marie was a bit too vocal with the judges...after all, they are the "experts."
I'm giving up negative comments
I'm going to let only positive comments pass my lips, otherwise I will stay quiet. Believe me, the Lord knows what a sacrifice this will be for me.
Her web site asks for comments so
I left her some, none probably she would have liked, but what I and others just like me are thinking. I said, no job, no income, 6 other kids, no real housing of your own, food stamps, why bring 8 more into this world. What were you thinking?
I like Navy. I have had nice comments when I wear it. nm
nm
I'm originally from NJ, and I've endured a lot of comments.
If one more person asks me, "Which exit?" I might run him/her over!
And yes, when I was growing up, it was indeed the Garden State. I grew up running through tomato fields and along corn rows. It was wonderful!
question about rude comments regarding child with dyslexia. sm
my 11-yo DD was spending the night with her friend. she has dyslexia and has ever since diagnosed in 2nd grade. she struggles quite a bit in school. this year she didn't pass the 5th grade because she didn't pass her TAKS test in math (state required to be promoted). i picked her up today from the friend's house and she says so and so's dad told her she was "lazy" because she didn't pass the TAKS test. of course, his daughter is a straight A student without help and is an only child. i am furious at this!! am i wrong to feel furious and how to i address to him that he needs to be cautious as to how he words things and says things to little kids with disabilities? it is enough that they get ridicled and belittled by their fellow students, much less their parents!! i know this will only be the beginning of what she will have to endure as school starts back. i wanted to march right over there and give him a piece of my mind immediately, but thought i would calm down first and see what great ideas you bright ladies have to share so i don't regret blowing off my steam in the wrong way. HELP! never had a child held back before so i know it will be a challenge to get through this for her. 
I read all the comments and I agree with the poster who wrote
'One has to teach people how to treat you' and one has to tell people what is imoportant to oneself.
It is inexcusable not to call or meet one's mother for mother's day and Christmas, etc.....
Big deal....
Let her call your home and wish him a happy birthday. Is she hurting anyone. There are children starving to death in other countries and women being raped and killed and you have a nice warm house and beautiful children. Just let her be and let things happen as they will. We are not in control of things to begin with.
I would much rather deal with this
So they pass gas or burp. Big flippin' deal! Better than drugs, guns, and the like that pass through the doors of a school! Cut me a break... You people are outta control here. Parents allowing it? So what if they do? They can teach manners, but let's face it, kids will be kids, and sometimes it happens. That is just plain crazy to think that because your child farts in class that makes him the next serial killer! Paaaleeezzze!
So what? What's the big deal? You act like they want to
X
If you don't know what the big deal is....
This is a long read but worth it........
A National ID Bill Masquerading as Immigration Reform
by Rep. Ron Paul, MD
by Rep. Ron Paul, MD
Watch Ron Paul deliver this speech to the House of Representatives on video.
Before the US House of Representatives, February 9, 2005
Mr. Speaker:
I rise in strong opposition to HR 418, the REAL ID Act. This bill purports to make us safer from terrorists who may sneak into the United States, and from other illegal immigrants. While I agree that these issues are of vital importance, this bill will do very little to make us more secure. It will not address our real vulnerabilities. It will, however, make us much less free. In reality, this bill is a Trojan horse. It pretends to offer desperately needed border control in order to stampede Americans into sacrificing what is uniquely American: our constitutionally protected liberty.
What is wrong with this bill?
The REAL ID Act establishes a national ID card by mandating that states include certain minimum identification standards on driver's licenses. It contains no limits on the government's power to impose additional standards. Indeed, it gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland Security to unilaterally add requirements as he sees fit.
Supporters claim it is not a national ID because it is voluntary. However, any state that opts out will automatically make non-persons out of its citizens. The citizens of that state will be unable to have any dealings with the federal government because their ID will not be accepted. They will not be able to fly or to take a train. In essence, in the eyes of the federal government they will cease to exist. It is absurd to call this voluntary.
Republican Party talking points on this bill, which claim that this is not a national ID card, nevertheless endorse the idea that "the federal government should set standards for the issuance of birth certificates and sources of identification such as driver's licenses." So they admit that they want a national ID but at the same time pretend that this is not a national ID.
This bill establishes a massive, centrally-coordinated database of highly personal information about American citizens: at a minimum their name, date of birth, place of residence, Social Security number, and physical and possibly other characteristics. What is even more disturbing is that, by mandating that states participate in the "Drivers License Agreement," this bill creates a massive database of sensitive information on American citizens that will be shared with Canada and Mexico!
This bill could have a chilling effect on the exercise of our constitutionally guaranteed rights. It re-defines "terrorism" in broad new terms that could well include members of firearms rights and anti-abortion groups, or other such groups as determined by whoever is in power at the time. There are no prohibitions against including such information in the database as information about a person's exercise of First Amendment rights or about a person's appearance on a registry of firearms owners.
This legislation gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland Security to expand required information on driver's licenses, potentially including such biometric information as retina scans, finger prints, DNA information, and even Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) radio tracking technology. Including such technology as RFID would mean that the federal government, as well as the governments of Canada and Mexico, would know where Americans are at all times of the day and night.
There are no limits on what happens to the database of sensitive information on Americans once it leaves the United States for Canada and Mexico – or perhaps other countries. Who is to stop a corrupt foreign government official from selling or giving this information to human traffickers or even terrorists? Will this uncertainty make us feel safer?
What will all of this mean for us? When this new program is implemented, every time we are required to show our driver's license we will, in fact, be showing a national identification card. We will be handing over a card that includes our personal and likely biometric information, information which is connected to a national and international database.
H.R. 418 does nothing to solve the growing threat to national security posed by people who are already in the U.S. illegally. Instead, H.R. 418 states what we already know: that certain people here illegally are "deportable." But it does nothing to mandate deportation.
Although Congress funded an additional 2,000 border guards last year, the administration has announced that it will only ask for an additional 210 guards. Why are we not pursuing these avenues as a way of safeguarding our country? Why are we punishing Americans by taking away their freedoms instead of making life more difficult for those who would enter our country illegally?
H.R. 418 does what legislation restricting firearm ownership does. It punishes law-abiding citizens. Criminals will ignore it. H.R. 418 offers us a false sense of greater security at the cost of taking a gigantic step toward making America a police state.
I urge my colleagues to vote "NO" on the REAL ID Act of 2005.
February 12, 2005
Dr. Ron Paul is a Republican member of Congress from Texas.
Anyone else had to deal with this?
My mother has suffered from arthritis for years. She just turned 80 in May of this year. She's told me during the past week that her legs have gotten increasingly more painful - to the point that she can hardly walk to get to the bathroom. Today, she said if her legs aren't better the next time she goes to the doctor, she's planning to talk to him about going in a nursing home. I am really distressed about this - realistically, I've known the day was coming, since her home is not amenable to her being in a wheelchair full-time. I live 1200 miles away from her in a second floor apartment, so even if she wanted to come stay with me, that's not possible considering my current living situation. In my head, I know this may be the best solution, and that I probably couldn't change things even if I lived closer, but my heart is hurting!
This is the deal...
She and he lived in Minneapolis and me way down here. I BEGGED her not to marry him, BEGGED her, and she didn't listen. She is extremely, extremely intelligent and NEVER listens to what I say. Even her little bro, who is 16, tells her, "You should just listen to Mom, she may be a b**** but she knows what she is talking about." She is SO smart she got a 4-year full scholarship at a University in New Orleans, so now she's down here with me and he has less control, which is making him more psycho, but "sometimes" he's nice. "Sometimes he acts like he loves me." The only good thing is that she didn't get pregnant. Oooh, I am just livid. I can hardly type and I have to sit here and work for 8 hours.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Dogs and cats can be criminal like that...torturing small animals just for fun.
Gross dogs though, let me tell you about gross. A friend was in bed, watching TV and having some tea and toast before taking a snooze with her dog, a Malamute, who also shares her bed. This lady was eating her toast while watching tv, not really paying attention. She thought she dropped a small piece of toast on the blanket, picked it up, and popped it in her mouth. Turned out to be a small chunklet of cat turd covered in litter, accidentally dropped there courtesy of you-know-who.
Yep, her dog, like mine, loves to sneak "kitty krunchies" out of the box and snack on them when no one's lookin'.
no big deal!
I think I would probably have a heart attack if I were ever bitten by a snake.. My dentist bought an old house that was inhabited by snakes. . he shot some, carried some out using sticks, played loud music and finally, after a couple of years, has managed to take over the house. . he has way more patience and courage than I would have.
What is the big deal??? They had to have
gas and he said he would put in 10. He did. When he gets gas for his car is his business. If he wants to stop every day for gas, how does that affect her??? If they fight over little things like that, doesn't sound like a good marriage to me.
I know I should not have to deal with this...sm
But see my mother refuses to talk to him. She doesn't take his calls. She will call the police if he comes on her property so she doesn't have to deal with him. I no longer answer his calls either. I don't answer my door if he knocks. But he will literally wait for you to go somewhere outside like he knows I have to leave an 2:45 to go get my son for school and that is his opportunity. It is can I use your phone? Can I have a bite to eat. Then its crying. When my husband is home he does not do this. He does not come over to my house at all. My husband is a truckdriver so he is away a lot. My mother has got on his a** multiple times for bothering me and my sister. She has went off on him. He doesn't pay any attention. She has went to the sheriff. My best friend's husband is a deputy. I have talked to him. As long as he is on his property and hasn't done anything they can't do anything. All I can do is move. Pure and simple.
to deal with her.
nm
Here's the deal
Ok, we'll start at first cousin, since everyone knows that.
Your kids and your cousin's kids are second cousins.
Your grandkids and your cousin's grandkids are third cousins.
The "removed" part comes into play anytime you're talking about different generations.
For example, you and your cousin's kids are first cousins, once removed.
Your children and your cousin's grandchildren would be second cousins, once removed.
Here's the deal..........
I did that for years. I was working all day and STILL felt because I was at home, I should be washing dishes, putting in a load of laundry, whatever needed to be done, but knew I had to work my shift as well or even my prn work....all the while the children were growing up.
Even my childeren got to where they thought if they needed something (not an emergency) or just wanted to interrupt, they could just feel free to do so... after all, if I didn't make my work a priority in my own head, why should they? Even my mother would call and say something like, "You still on that computer"?, as if what I did wasn't important.
I finally stopped all that nonsense. They got off to school, I sat down at the same time everyday (just as if I were in an office), no phone answering, no door answering. Even my husband would call asking me to look up something in a file for him as if I were his secretary (stopped that too!). You should have seen the look on their faces when they realized I was NOT going to have whatever piece of clothing they wanted washed that day, they would eat what I had time to fix and be glad they had it (no all day meal cooking). The door to the room was shut and unless there was an emergency, it was to stay shut until I came out.
I had already told my mother I wouldn't be answering the phone but if there was an emergency, I would always be screening the messages; otherwise, her chit chat time was on hold until my day was over and I had finished with what I had to do for the day. That woman would then actually get in her car and come across town to knock on my door, saying since I wasn't answering the phone, she would just come over, as if that was okay!! She just doesn't get it at all!! I'm at home, so I must not be actually working. The next time she done that, I didn't go to the door. She stood and knocked, rang the doorbell, even went around the house to the back door seeing if it were open. I didn't go to the door, she went back home, rang the phone off the wall several times that afternoon and when I called her back that night, she wanted to know why I didn't come to the door. She had called my husband at work to ask him why I didn't answer the phone or the door. he told her I had work to do and couldn't get it done jumping up and down all day long. He was finally getting it. He told her if I were in an office somewhere, I couldn't be sitting on the phone for personal calls, doing laundry, washing the clothes, or running an errand, and she STILL said she just needed to tell me something..... like it couldn't wait until later.
Sometime, you just gotta do what you gotta do. If you stop obsessing about what housework there is around and remind yourself you have a job to do, all the other stuff will get done AFTER your job is finished, not during, you will start feeling better about everything.
If you were outside the home in an office would you be doing any of that stuff? Trust me, it can and will wait. You will be more productive as well. Just stick to it.
My sister in law knows I'm swamped with work and she still calls in the middle of the day wanting to chit chat (she doesn't work and has PLENTY of money) about anything and everything, and when I don't answer the phone, she calls her brother (hubby) at work and wonders if there's something wrong, since I'm not answering the phone. Geeeze!
This is sooooooooooooo not a big deal!
I'd say just get over it and stop being so sensitive.
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