I can't believe you just wrote it's not okay for your kids to make mistakes.
Posted By: lady, you are absolutely flippin' nuts!!!! on 2006-11-03
In Reply to: Expectations - Mom of 3
"Just becuase UGU all forget things and make mistakes does not mean that my children need to be raised to think it's ok to do so."
Good god, I hope I never meet you or anyone else with your twisted sense of right and wrong.
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Don't let it get you down. We all make mistakes.
If you make a mistake because you believe in the basic goodness of people, then the person at fault is not you, but the other person.
I used to feel the same way - that all people were basically good, had good intentions toward others, and would respond to kindness with kindness. I, too, learned the hard way.
It took me a long time, but I finally realized that not everybody has my best interests at heart, so I have learned to be a little cautious. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty - but I let the jury deliberate a little longer these days. 
I make mistakes, my children have but
I pay for my own mistakes and my children when they were children, not as adults. I do not take on the responsibility of people who knowingly a) have children and not be financially responsible for taking care of them, b) do drugs and/or alcohol and want handouts?? This falls into a category of you do it to yourself, you take care of it yourself. I would helpp the sick and elderly, animals, people who have misfortunate not of their own doing. That is how I live my life. I read things in the paper, if I feel something I should give money to I do but not in a situation where you have the brains to do right if you WANT to do right.
That's "think" - we all make mistakes!
It does shake you up a bit especially when we take great care not to make mistakes
But we are human and we do make them from time to time. I believe that is why the doctors read before signing. I've made mistakes in my career, nothing that would change the care a patient is to receive, but working in this field for 8 years I can't say that I have never made a mistake. And you are right. It does shake you up a bit and only natural to start doubting yourself. About 5 years ago while working in a hospital I had made a mistake the doctor was upset about they were nothing major that changed the treatment a patient got, but still was upsetting. I talked with a co-worker and she said overall the work is excellent, we all make mistakes from time to time and you just try better not to make the same mistakes.
Luckily my current clients have never sent back a report, but I just say take it as it is. It's a mistake and you're human and we all make mistakes from time to time. Don't let it get you down too much.
Something you can make for kids if you don't sew(sm)
My son put on his Christmas list this year "another blanket with love in every knot." Two Christmases ago, I made each of my kids a blanket "pocket" they can get in. You're probably seen the blankets that are fringed and knotted all the way around? I did two of those only left the top open so they can get in. I bought two of the soft throw blankets with pictures (at the time Strawberry Shortcake for daughter and Mucha Lucha for my son) and then went to the fabric dept and bought a solid color blanket material that matched the picture. Cut fringe on three sides and then knotted it all the way around. I told them that I had put love in every knot. They LOVE them. Have never used anything so much. They sleep under and sometimes in them at night and bring them with them in the mornings when they first get up so they can snuggle up in them. My son has outgrown Mucha Lucha so he wants a new one with a checkerboard on the front. So I'm making more this year - it's great for me because I not extremely domestically talented, and the kids love them because I made them.
your kids could make cards, etc...(sm)
draw him as an angel watching over his family or something.
or you might look up angel crafts on the net and find a project they could make and give the family.
Should I make the kids sleep over at Grandma & Grandpa's? (sm)
 My MIL frequently asks for my children to sleep over. In the past, I would force them to go a couple of times a year. The problem is they cry and beg me not to make them go, even now when they are 7 and 10 years old. My MIL is a good person, but she doesn't ask them what they want to do, she tells them what they are going to do. "Now you are going to help me make cookies, then we are going visiting." She doesn't do anything bad, but their home really is incredibly boring. They are very active in their community..but it is sort of "all for show" and they like to take the kids around and "show" them to everyone. I do understand this, but you would not believe the begging and pleading and crying I get from the kids not to have to go. Would you make them go? If so, how often?
All spanking does is make kids respect you to your face (sm)
it does not teach them anything at all. When my kids were very young and I could not reason with them, they did occasionally get a swat to get them to listen to me, but once they are old enough to reason, there is no reason to use physical force on them. I am telling you, all it does is raise sneaky kids.
Absolutely, but I shake myself out of it quickly to make it a happy time for my kids and hubby. nm
x
Well I figure I can make my own hours & be home when the kids are home (sm)
I worked PT in an office for a while but spent most of my money on childcare in the summer. Full-time in an office was just a nightmare and I felt like I missed a whole year of my children's lives. I want to be in control of my schedule so that's why I'm looking into the cleaning thing. Never thought I would want to do that but live and learn! Some of the most intelligent people alive work as carpenters and similar things because they have learned what's really important in life. Whew....off my soapbox now :-) Good luck to you!
I see these mistakes all the time
I think especially with doing VR my eyes are so trained to catch any and all misspelled words. I find them on the news from our television channels, in the paper, on advertising, everywhere, Craigs List especially- these people cannot spell now. I saw Chester drawers on Craigs- sometimes just knowing they are so wrong I send email asking them - do you mean Chester drawers or chest of drawers?? Drives me bananas!! I saw misspelled word in high-end ad for a furrier and newspaper ad for a cleaner- in the groceries I see mistakes.
You are right, everyone makes mistakes
but like you said they are held to a higher degree of accountability.
If you have every worked in a hospital, in any capacity, even as an MT, you know that there is a system of checks balances for everything from dietary and housekeeping to OR employees. There is a reason why these systems including HIPAA, OSHA, and JHACO are in place. Sadly, there are always those few doctors (thank goodness for the nurses' who commonly save their rears such as in this case) who think they are above "policy and procedure." This might be a simple case of someone needing to be reminded that they are not above any protocol and they can make serious mistakes very easily.
let it out, maybe they can learn from your mistakes
x
Don't feel bad. Everyone makes mistakes.
The doctor should not have made you feel bad, nor should have your husband. Especially your husband because I'm sure he knows how bad you feel. My husband has said things like "you're home all day, why can't you..." whatever the point is. Infuriating! As if we're not really doing anything while we are at home.
Don't beat yourself up about it. Your son will get over it, and then he will be immune. Just do what you can to make him feel better (it sounds like you already are). You're not a bad mom! Hugs also!
4 weddings, don't you learn by your mistakes. 1 is more than enough.
Nope, did not learn from mistakes
but I sure got it right this time, married 7 years and love the ground this guy walks on. Am glad I kept on because you know something, I have found the love of my life and if I had stopped (which thought I would do after the last person died) I would have never known such happiness and bliss.
whoops, excuse those mistakes in there sm
I'm in a hurry
Not as bad as offshore, IMO. Point mistakes to off-
x
I don’t care how you live your life, just don’t want to pay for your mistakes
I think I have made my point.
Can you talk to facility and find out if mistakes
x
that is too cute!!!! but as long as people will fix VR mistakes, it will continue on the roll it is
;
Amen. Well said...whoever wrote this. thx. nm
nm
could have wrote you note but sm
I have a daughter that is a sophmore.Wamted this certain college. Could not convince to stay in state. It costs her 10,000 dollars more being out of state. She goes from wanting to b there to not wanting to be there to liking it it to hating it It depends on what day you talk to her. Joined the band dropped out, had problem with boyfriend moved across the campus, than they started dating again, then he ends it. She gets upset wants to come home. I get a phone call every night. Everytime we decide to have her transfer or come home she decides to stay. Has changed her major three times. What worries me is she is on Student loans that she will be responsible to pay when she graduates. If she leaves college she will have to start paying immediately, where she would have 10 years if the stays in college. This month she is already over 80 minutes on the cell phone and there is two weeks more to go. She spends hours talking to the ex-boyfriend and they are on the same campus. My husband and I are going to talk to a therapist about this because I want to do tough love. Hang up when she calls crying at 11 p.m. Telling her if she does not get her act together she will have no choice to leave etc. He is the softy. Nothing makes her happy.
By any chance is your son going to a college in New England.
Wrote down the info...thanks. nm
!
First off, I was very upset when I wrote
the original post. Sending my son to a boys' home is obviously a last resort. I don't mean an orphanage or foster care. I mean a facility that can help to retrain him if I can't. I love my son very much. I would rather suffer the pains and guilt of having to send him to a reformity, then to watch him grow up into someone who would hurt someone else and ruin the rest of his life. I love all of my children equally.
Secondly, when I took my child to the child psychologist, I had several visits with him first to see if there was something I was doing wrong. I continued to attend each session with my child, including private sessions for myself after his meeting with my son.
Thirdly, your comments were not helpful, just nasty, and that's not the kind of help I was looking for. Anyone who's ever been in this situation already feels inadequate as a parent and doesn't need someone else to slam them. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to do just that.
You must be my twin because you just wrote
everything about me to a T!!! I've been in a quandry for quite some time about what I should do.
I was one who wrote below about finding SM
love after divorce. I believe there are good men out there, but they are hard to find, especially the older one gets. I think the key is letting him find you, but it doesn't mean you can't put yourself out there.
OK. What I think about problem men have in marriages. I'm speaking about my own here. I was the only girl he ever dated. He asked me to marry him and I said yes. He knew it was mistake, but was devout Catholic and just stayed married, but decided he would still like to be single, so he began cheating on me. As for me, I loved him for a long, long time. When I see him at family events, I wonder why! LOL!!!!
hih? truth? whose? Men who wrote Bibles?
I have not read but others wrote yet but you just need to stop - sm
you have done all you can do and have bent over backwards to help. Your guilt will be your downfall. I don't know how to tell you to stop feeling guilty, but you really have nothing to feel guilty about. You have done way too much for her and she has just taken advantage. She is 19 more than old enough to take care of herself. She wants to be homeless and can adapt as you say to any situation, then let her. I would just tell her the gravy train stops now and she has to learn how to take care of herself. Get some names of some shelters to give her, the YWCA, etc. and if she really wants to help herself she can start there but she is going to have to do it on her own now. If the worsed happens you know you have done all that one person can possibly do; but if she does not want to help herself (and it is obvious she does not) then there really is nothing you or anyone else can do. You need to steel yourself not to give in and basically cut off all contact until she proves w/o a doubt that she has cleaned up her act which will take at least 6 months if not more I would think. If you don't have caller ID then get it, otherwise let your answering machine answer all calls and just don't take hers or return her calls either. Good luck.
That wife you wrote about sounds like me! LOL! SM
I was married to a man who cheated for years. I was in total denial. After close to 30 years, I up and left. Best thing I ever did.
Just want to acknowledge point that men don't leave. If they are in a long marriage, and have been getting away with cheating for a long time, AND there is a lot of money involved, what with houses, pensions, savings, etc., THEY DON'T LEAVE.
I admire both your honesty. Good luck.
just wrote a long reply`
put stu@pid in it and it said I used bad language and to go back and it deleated my whole darn thing, will write back soon, behind in work, but have some comments to make later. Good to see you back Hayseed.
No when I originally wrote the check
The check was a voided check to Wal-Mart and the Loan company, CNH Capital, knew that and cashed it anyway. I thought it was illegal for someone cash a check that did not belong to them.
no, nobody knows but the bank, they will cover checks you wrote
nm
Totally disagree with one thing you wrote. sm
You Wrote:
Yes, there are bad breeders, but there are far more good ones. In my 18 years in the cat fancy, I have seen some bad ones, *but the good ones far outweigh the bad.*
If only that were true. *sigh* Maybe you're talking about in the show world. It probably is true there, but that is such a teeny, tiny part of the whole picture.
In reality, outside of the show world, there are far, far, far more BAD 'breeders' out there, though I'm using the word 'breeder' loosely, to include backyard breeders (type that into Google if you're not familiar w/the term - I don't mean you, gd1, as I'm sure you know all about it!), puppy mills, and pet stores, and that is were the majority of the pet overpopulation problem comes from.
I wish only the reputable, ethical 'show breeders' of dogs and cats were the only ones doing any breeding. If that were the case, there would be little to no problem, as they are the caretakers of their breeds and are concerned with bettering the breed, only breeding animals with excellent health, conformation, and temperament - not just $$$ by cranking out puppies/kittens, or letting their dog/cat have a litter for the kids to see or because 'everyone wants one of her puppies/kittens!' or whatever.
I don't know if mandatory spaying/neutering is the answer or not. I do know it's being seriously considered in my state (CA), and there would be exceptions for hobby/show breeders, breeders of service dogs, search and rescue dogs, etc.
But I have a feeling people would find some way around it, and I imagine disreputable people (gag) in neighboring states would start to crank up 'production' if there were any kind of 'shortage' here. Makes me ill...
I also don't know how mandatory spay/neut. could be enforced. Animal control here (huge county) admitted on the news that only about 25% of pets are licensed.
I think I'm in favor of it, overall though, at least to give it a try and with exceptions available for *some* breeders, as I mentioned above.
I did breed rescue for 6 years, and I've been to more shelters and seen more animals there than I care to recall. It's absolutely sickening the number of perfectly nice animals destroyed, simply for lack of a home. A shocking number (about 25-30%) are young, healthy purebreds that cost the original owner a pretty penny, so even that doesn't guarantee a home.
The poster wrote 4 sentences on an MT forum.
You don't know her, can't judge her. This place is getting so catty and ridiculous.
You did your rant, laughed your ___ off and wrote off your Mom and Grandmom!
You have a lot to learn. When they are dead, you will realize it didn't really mean a thing except that you "wrote them off" and laughed your A@@ off at any suggestion that you should make peace with your Mom at Christmas. You only have one Mom, you came from her loins, no one else's. Too bad you can't realize how wrong you are to judge. No one said you have to see her every day but she's a human being and human beings make mistakes. Glad you are perfect and your kid is perfect. Hope you always remain "perfect." Merry Christmas! Sounds like you have a lot of people backing you up, so you think you're right in ditching your Mom and Grandmom. People in my family have done horrible things to me but I rise above it, send them a Christmas card and wish them a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year. I am not God. Perhaps you don't see your Mom's tears, but believe me, one day you will be sorry and it will be too late. Get a heart! You are telling your son in effect, "These are bad people, write them off!" Bad advice methinks. You are hearing only what you want to hear, so go ahead and laugh your a@@ off if it makes you happy. Watch out you are not that "Mom" one day, you've set the scene and have written the script, to "write Moms off."
Obviously a man wrote that Good Wife Guide - sm
Boy that thing is amazing, hard to believe that that is how people thought and behaved back then, Stepford wives. Guess some men were sad when women finally woke up and smelled the coffee. ---I only remember a couple things though, but I was born in 1965--- drive-in movies and the metal ice trays, rabbit ears, the star/sun ray clock, and we had an old metal Pepsi cooler which had my dad kept would probably be worth a small fortune now.
If you exercised your right to vote and wrote to your congressmen/women,
passive people just sit back ,allow bad things happening, and then whine about it, while aggressive people actually DO SOMETHING about matters they disagree with.
Mitch Alboum wrote a book about this called
Boy, Hayseed..you just wrote my story..Today, it occured to me...
I'm going nuts doing this job. The longer I sit here every day the fruit-ier I am getting. I have to force myself to leave the house and when I get out there I have panic attacks. I'm freaked out by traffic, freaked out by too many people and I just want to run home and put my sweats back on. A few days ago was the topper, and it was at that point, that I started getting on the job search for a job OUTSIDE of home. Isolation is NOT good. My husband had just made dinner, we ate, then I went back to my office for about an hour, and I irritatingly came out of my office to ask my husband why he hadn't decided yet what he wanted for dinner as it was getting late. He looked at me with that WHAT THE BLEEP BLEEP!!! and I just knew it was time to get AWAY from the computer and socialize with real people. I truly feel this is NOT healthy. I have started wierding myself out by some of the stuff I'm doing. I have even started forgetting people's names and numbers that I swore I would never forget...AND I refuse to believe I'm getting older or that I have Alzheimers. It's something much deeper..WORK..LOL..Well, it's late and I need to get back to work so I can keep losing my mind..See ya.
I wrote my local buffalo rock and they told me a
I will look for your Folger's Instant Straight up tomorrow when I go!
I wrote a $10 check to Wal-Mart and turned in to a $40 mistake so far.
Here is what happened. When you write a check at this Wal-Mart here, they have you sign something and give the check back. I stuck it back in my purse. They are supposed to void. I was cleaning at my purse that day and paying bills at the same time. I wrote a $250 to pay a loan. I really don't know how it happened but I must have torn that one up and sent the $10 voided check to the loan. A week later, i was looking at my acct online. I notice that that $10 I had written to Wal-Mart went through twice. I called the bank and asked why. They said, "oh, it looks like Wal-Mart double dipped." so I was refunded the money. I don't know who refunded the money, was it the bank, Wal-mart, I don't know. Anyway, I became concerned about why that 250 check didn't come in so I called that loan company. They said $10 was credit to my acct. I did not connect the 2 at the time. I thought, 10, I don't write $10 to this acct. The man told me he would look into it incase there was a mistake. He called back the day later and said that was a $10 originally written to Wal-Mart and we cashed it. So I called the bank and told them. They then had me go to wal-mart because they said I owed them $10 back. I go to wal-mart and they say no it is the Telecheck, company they use for this service and they thanked me for trying to clear it up and said Telecheck will be contacting me. So I get a letter in the mail saying I owe $40 plus I am not allowed to write checks anywhere that uses their service until I pay that $40 back.
What scares me is that that check said VOID on it and that other bunch was still able to cash it and get their money, which I think was dishonest of them...also my bank let it go through. Now what if I were to loose a bunch of those type checks and someone cashes it AGAIN. Man I would be out a lot. Do you think any of this is right? TIA.
Sorry, I was upset at the time I wrote the original post
Basically, I sent a voided Wal-Mart check to a creditor by mistake and they cashed it and the bank let it go through both times. I called them on it. I was thinking that someone must have found that check and cashed it again. At the time, I did not realize my mistake. They then cancelled the payment to Wal-Mart, don't know why, and now Wal-Mart is treating it like I wrote a hot check. They added $30 to the original amount.
I read all the comments and I agree with the poster who wrote
'One has to teach people how to treat you' and one has to tell people what is imoportant to oneself.
It is inexcusable not to call or meet one's mother for mother's day and Christmas, etc.....
A cute little article/story my husband just wrote that I wanted to share!
Layoffs in the North Pole
Story by Bill Perkins
In a press release this morning Santa Claus announced the layoff of nearly 800,000 elf employees. The announcement was completely unexpected despite the current economic situation.
Due to the failing economy, and many companies cutting costs wherever they can, including advertising, Mr. Claus has lost several endorsement jobs.
Mr. Claus is seeking government aid, requesting his own bailout package from several different governments. However, he is meeting a great deal of resistance. Many toymakers and distributors, namely Walmart, Playskool, and the Chinese government, are lobbying against the bailout. They say Santa's "Free Toy for Every Child" program is a seasonal monopoly, and it generally takes four months to recover the losses sustained from his "good deeds."
Children across the globe will feel the impact this Christmas, particularly the naughty ones. Traditionally, naughty children receive lumps of coal from Santa on Christmas. Mr. Claus has no coal to give, though, as it was part of the elves' severance packages. It is Santa's hope that it will at least be enough to keep his former employees warm through the winter.
When asked if there was any hope of the elves returning to work next year, Santa replied, "It doesn't look very promising. The elves are like family to me; I love them all very dearly. Unfortunately, illegal immigrants work for a lot less, and I don't have to provide benefits, so that's probably what I'll have to do. It was a difficult decision to make, but it's necessary if I want to keep the business in operation."
The elves aren't the only ones hurting. The reindeer are suffering a great deal more. Mr. Claus has had to auction off much of his breeding stock just to stay operational until Christmas Eve. (See related story on page 5, "McDonald's Debuts new Christmas Menu.) It is questionable at this point how much longer Santa will be able to make his annual flight.
Could this be the beginning of the end of Santa Claus? Only time will tell for sure.
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
At that rate, I could make in a week what I make
x
Dad said: You can learn from your own mistakes, but it's easier to learn from
x
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.
I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?
ESL kids have a label =$$$. When the illiterate kids get a label slapped on them - they will get a
Most public schools do not teach children to read with intensive phonics. It has nothing to do with class size IMHO. The method of reading instruction is what determines if the kids will learn to read or not.
Consider homeschooling her.
Each child represents a $ amount to public school administration. As long as the child attends they get their $. They still get X amount of $ for each year they teach or do not teach a kid to read.
Their compensation is not reduced when they produce illiterate adults.
I would make a good Beth with wig on. Not sure DH would make a good Dog.
xx
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