I banned any gift giving between adults
Posted By: Twitters on 2008-12-05
In Reply to: I post this every holiday season and will try SM - Sally Forth
when my husband and I got married. I will get my SIL and BIL something, but only because they have 6 small children and they always NEED something. Otherwise, Christmas is for the kids, period, plain and simple. Since I made that rule (when we had 6 small ones ourselves) his sisters refuse to come for Christmas dinner which I think is silly, but whatever. Christmas should not be all about gift giving anyway.
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I like to use gift bags for the adults
and wrapping paper for kids. I know there is a lot of wasted paper when you wrap, but something about watching a child rip into a package is so fun.
Gift Giving
I just got married in July 2008, bought a new home, and am now expecting my third child in April 2009 so we ourselves have had many blessings this year but our financial situation is also pretty tight. We will not be buying gifts for anyone but our children. Our family will receive homemade treats this year. We still like to do something nice for them because they have done so much for us this year and every year but we don't have a lot of money to play with.
In my case, we take care of our obligations (bills, our children, etc.) before we worry about "gifts". We feel that providing our children with things that need and the love that they deserve is more important than any material gift will ever be. Our family understands our situation and is very happy just to spend the holidays with us without the expectation of a gift because honestly the quality time with family is the biggest gift we could give each other.
In my opinion, you should just explain the situation to them and let them know that you will not be giving gifts this year. They may take it hard but they will get over it. You have to do what you have to do. Gifts aren't the real reason for the Christmas season anyhow.
Good luck to you!
See my post above about gift giving sm
Take care of yourself first! I am glad you give so much of yourself, but take it from the source, stop killing yourself, you will know what I mean some day. Take care of you and the rest will follow. I am so tired.....stop burning the candle at both ends, charity begins at home. Then when done at home, go bowling!!
Gift giving is HARD
So much pressure!!! Am I right??? I feel this every time I give a gift. This kid sounds like he is going to get a lot of gifts anyways. All I got, way back in 2002 when I graduated, was a cake and a dinner with my family. I would give the kid at the most $25. He just graduated High School, which is what kids are suppose to do. Now if it was college and he graduated then of course I would give more. He should be lucky that you care enough to think about him and give him something even though you seem to be struggeling with it, which is not your fault.
The idea of gift giving is not to receive anything in
Either give from the heart or don't give at all. Expect nothing in return and if you do get something, then consider it a blessing including a thank you. In God's eyes, this is what Christmas giving is truly about and isn't this all over the fact that you are child's Godparents? I think you should think about that for a minute and what responsibility that holds in this young girl's life.......... It sort of sounds like this is about you and not about what God would want.
I think I am anti-gift giving this year
Money is so tight right now I am no sure how I am going to pay my bills this December. I had some unexpected bills come up that needed to be taken care of. On top of that, I have to come up with X-mas gifts for everyone and they do not like cheap things. Their idea of cheap is hand-made and they do not like it. So that is out. I just got a part-time job but that is not going to kick in a whole lot of money until closer to the end of the year.
I would like to opt out of gift giving this year but if I suggest it I get the lecture from family members of "what do you do with your money?, what are you spending it on? " and other invasive questions. The other unforunate thing is I live in the same town with them.
The most inexpensive thing on my niece's list is a brand new cell phone or a brand new MP3 player with a video screen. She is not careful with these and she has already gone through so many. To top it all off I have 3 birthdays in December.
I really hate this time of year.
Any suggestions on how to tell them to just buy for them and not for me and let me out of this so-called family time?
Sorry to be so bitter.
..returnable if giving as a gift. Depending on how tight and low
s
Banned
Oh, that is too funny!
I was not allowed to watch SNL, and I was also banned from watching MTV.
Where this becomes totally outrageous and quite embarassing: I was not allowed to watch shows where most of the characters were black!
The poison is banned for use in the US, but it--sm
is also used as some form of treatment for cancer. They are still saying the wheat gluten may have been sprayed with this poison prior to being shipped to the US. jeez! I am sooo mad! (pet lover).
I have banned my mom from seeing my kids
Your situation is similar to mine, but my mom has gone a little further. I have 4 children, 2 from my first marriage and 2 from my second. My second husband has been with my older two children since they were 4 and 5 and we have been married for 11 years (so obviously he is not going anywhere). I found out about a year ago that she had been talking to my oldest two kids for years about how horrible she thought my husband treated my older kids and how he doesn't love them as much as he loves his "own" children. We had been having problems with my 16 year old daughter at the time and everything can now stem back to much of this. We couldn't understand why the older two were so disrespectful of my husband after everything that he does for them. But they were being fed information behind our backs. Everything from he is cheating on your mom, he is abusing your mom, he is a scumbag, etc.
My mother also believes in "the other side" which is fine with me, but don't rub it in our face. We don't shove our religion down her throat, so a little respect here. She would frequently talk to my youngest two, who are only 7 and 8, about traveling out of body, talking to spirits, and how they were reincarnated.
This was on top of stuff like after being told not to take the kids bike riding down a road that is 55 mph (no sidewalks) with no helmets on and she did it, not just once, but 3 times. Then when I caught her lying about it, she paid off my daughter by taking her shoe shopping! No wonder my kid is messed up.
She was told over a year ago to knock it off or supervised visits only (she was told once previously as well). She didn't take me seriously, so last May, after being told that I didn't "worship" her enough for mother's day and how I didn't deserve to be a mother, I cut all ties.
It has been the hardest thing that I have had to do, but to save my marrige, my sanity and my kids, I did what I had to do. We live in a small town as well and of course mouths are wagging. The schools are under strict order to not let her in to see them as well and know the situation. My stepfather is dumbfounded and doesn't understand how I could do something like this. But he is only hearing her side of things. I told him to get her into counseling and that would be the ONLY way I would even think of mending this, but it has yet to be done.
You have to do what is right for your family and if this creates this much uproar in your family, then only you can decide how much you can take.
In case I get banned, or not, that's for the moderator
to decide, I know it was you, 'daisy', because you announced it in your upper post.
LOL, the chicken dance? That was banned from my wedding.
No way, no how. Nor the *hokey pokey* or *hands up*. LOL! I opted for *electric slide*, *shout*, *let's twist again*, *we are family*, *celebration*, *gloria*, *i will survive*, *shake your booty*, *YMCA*, *play that funky music*. We had such a blast!
When I was a teen & my sister was 10, my parents banned
We got around that one pretty easily. At 10:00 or so, we'd each yawn, say goodnight, and go to bed. Our parents usually followed not long after. At 11:30 I'd get up, wake up my sister, and we'd sneak back out to the living room to watch it with the sound way down. My parent's bedroom was back at the other end of the house, so they couldn't hear it or see the light from the TV. We never got caught, either! Hehe
Guess what my mother banned me from watching?
The Englebert Humperdink Show. ROFL. So you know I'm really old. I can't imagine what was offensive about the show. Maybe Englebert was just too sexy for my mom.
You can say that about adults but
How horrid of you to feel that way.
Are there any other adults out there with braces??
Just had braces put on my crowded teeth on Tuesday. Feel like I am absolutely the only adult with braces in the world. Everywhere I look I see 13-year-olds with them, but no one in their 30s  But I guess it's better to look silly for a year and have beautiful teeth in the end than to look silly the rest of my life with crowded teeth, huh??
Same here bags for adults
And paper for my children (even though my older one hasn't believed in Santa Claus for a few years).
Big problem in adults
I worked at a hospital about 15 years ago where they were diagnosing senior patients for Alzheimer's. Surprisingly, they found that about two-thirds of these patients did not have Alzheimer's, but had learning disabilities and ADD.
ADD has been around as long as humans, but just given a name and attention in the past 2 or 3 decades.
People usually suffer in silence because they think it's just them, that they have a character flaw, etc.
I would speak to your doctor.
I think it's a shame when adults
cannot put their differences aside for the 2 major holidays a year.
Way harsh? Oh come on. We are all adults here.
This is not a out of the blue tragedy. She sat for two months with lousy paychecks coming in. Why? That is her OWN fault. It would have taken one for me to get movin.
What is wrong with saying get up, get moving and get a job? What is the alternative?
There is no good in crying over something you CAN fix. Maybe the OP NEEDS to find strength now and not be babied.
For the love of Pete!
Adults need one, too. Imagine how difficult it is
for parents who feel the guilt/burden of knowing they cannot provide a Christmas for their babies. I've been there. I know how it feels.
One of my resolutions for 2007 is to pay a set percentage of my gross income to a dedicated cause locally. I'm not sure yet whether I will work with the light/water company to provide assistance for those on shut-off notices (they seem to have less options than anyone else) or help provide transportation to/from doctor visits for elderly/handicapped individuals, but I am going to do something.
I've known 2 adults that had them, one woman was in her mid-20's sm
and the other was a man who was a corporate salesman for the company I work for. Good luck.
meant "consenting adults." LOL
xxx 
They are adults and can handle it. After all, this is the tradition
with your husband's family. If they don't want to go, then let them stay home. Surely they were aware this is what your husband's family does on Christmas Eve before inviting themselves to spend the night. Don't ruin family time with your family and your husband's family.
Teenagers and immature adults
have always thought it was cool to "shock" people. Poor Britney lived for it, and ended up flashing her nether-regions and then completely ran out of ways to shock people ... no wait, that only left shaving her head on camera. < eye roll >
And I would hope adults have more sense than that,
99 out of 100 is unbelievable to me. I find his statement ridiculous for people who are considered grown.
1 In 5 Adults Uses Pool As Toilet
Officials: Swallowing Urine-Contaminated Water Isn't Harmful
PHOENIX -- A new study by the Water Quality and Health Council found that nearly one in five adults admits to urinating in a swimming pool instead of using the toilet.
Eight in 10 adults are convinced their fellow swimmers are guilty of such a crime, the study said.
Nevertheless, health officials insist that swimming in and even swallowing urine-contaminated water isn't harmful to someone's health.
"Urine in itself has been purified through a whole variety of bodily processes so that it's removed a lot of the contaminants in it," said Don Herrington from the Arizona Health Department.
Swimmers should be more concerned about swallowing parasites than swallowing urine, officials said.
Last summer, dozens of swimmers in the Phoenix area got sick from pool water, forcing the closure of all 29 Phoenix city pools.
The parasite which caused the illnesses, Cryptosporidium, comes from diarrhea.
Phoenix Parks and Recreation spokeswoman Amy Blakeney urged sick swimmers to stay out of the pool.
"People who are sick need to stay home and remain at home for 14 days after they're symptom-free, especially if they have diarrhea," Blakeney said.
Though city pools electronically monitor chlorine levels, the city of Phoenix has begun to require swimmers to shower before they jump in the pool as an extra precaution.
"Taking a shower allows those materials to rinse off and go down as sewage, and then gets a clean body into the pool water, which is what we all want," Blakeney said.
Are they adults? No. R-rate means under 17 not allowed. sm
Easy answer.
The recommended starting dosage for adults is 25 mg (sm)
3 to 4 x daily with a maximum of 150 mg daily. The medication is prescribed for depression, but with alot of those antidepressants, they are also prescribed for their sedative effect, and thus also prescribed for insomnia. Pamelor has been around a long time, and in my last 10 years of transcribing, don't recall any physician prescribing it as a sleep aid. The usual standard now seems to be trazodone, starting dose 50, but may increase in increments of 50 mg up a max of 300. I am not questioning your doctor's reasoning for prescribing this, I just find it unusual. I would not be concerned about increasing the dose you are taking. Most medications, in order to cause deliterious and life-threating potential, need to be taken 30x the normal prescribing dose. Hope you feel better.
We are talking about a 5-y/o here not grown wacko adults - sm
so it is not a diaper fetish. Odds are the child is looking for attention and as stated in numerous posts wants to be the baby again and have all the attention. If the mom can, she needs to spend some 1:1 time with her 5-y/o, maybe at bedtime, story reading, or just talking, or take him down to the corner store and leave the younger one at home with dad, etc. Anything really, just spent 15-30 minutes a day that is his time with him mom alone. I wouldn't get freaked about it. I have 2 girls and the one loves to play with her nipples and stroke her tummy. She is 7 and just exploring sensation at this point. I told her it is okay to do but in private, not in public. I am not making a big issue out of it; not that it is a big issue to begin with.
hold on....letting adults paddle my kid?
nm
I agree. Aren't you married adults?...
This is your husband, not your father. Having been in a relationship something like this in the very distant past I can tell you that you need to get rid of this jerk. Why do women put up with this garbage from their husbands or boyfriends? What advice would you give to a daughter or friend if she was in the same situation?
We're talking about kids; not adults.
Both! JK, actually considering giving up
coffee and wondering if Morning Thunder has caffeine or not. I love my coffee, though. Don't know if I can do it.
Giving
Two years working as a missionary overseas has taught me that material things are really not important. Do not hold onto things with such a tight fist. I guess after see children begging in the street for food daily kind of changes your perspective. Oh and then the women who washed her clothes on a rock made me vow to never complain about washing clothes in a machine.
Forgive your husband. His giving nature is more important that a rolling pin. A fire, like those in Califronia, or other natural disaster can cause you to lose all of these things. Things really do not matter anyway do they?
Have a nice Thanksgiving, and be thankful you can afford food to use a rolling a pin on. So many people in the world cannot.
giving up the
The older I got the more I got these symptoms from too many dairy products. Once I cut back the bloating went away. I think the sitting just makes it more noticeable because you cannot get away from the smell! (hope that is not too graphic:)
holiday giving
What you are doing is a wonderful thing and I understand your hurt feelings. Perhaps next year you could channel your energy into giving where it would DEFINITELY be appreciated. Regardless of whether or not you support the war in Iraq, there are many of our troops there who would love to receive a card or care package for the holidays. There are plenty of needy children here in our country who could use a card or gift for the holidays. Why not give where it is wanted and needed? Your church can give you the name of a needy family for you to help at the holidays. You have many options to chose from. Pick something that will make it feel good on both the recipient and the givers side??
Have you tried giving some fluids?
I have a shih tzu with diabetes. When is sick he will get close or under my knees. Listen to him he's trying to say I'm sick. Try feeding him some rice with a little chicken in it, something bland or even canned pumpkin, not the pie filling. Good source of fiber in both diarrhea and constipation for dogs and humans. When mine was sick the other day I got a syringe and would give him grape flavored ProPel water by gatorade, about 1 oz at a time every hour or so and then sooner as long as he kept it down. Just enough to keep from getting to dehydrated. Dogs can go down really fast when dehydrated yet some vets say they can go awhile without food/water. Not if already dehydrated though. I would recommend going on petpeoplesplace.com forum you can get some good advice with people with same breed or problems. They also make something called Rescue Remedy for anxious/nervous dogs you might check into.
I am glad everyone is giving their sm
opinion. I value that. I told in the past to work with us. If it is a specific thing, like a late movie, concert etc we can be very flexible, but to just hang out at someone's house or ride around town it is not necessry to be out past 1 a.m. Her 21 year-old sister agrees with me which is surprising. Her friends don't have curfews, but they also did not get into college either. I told her she can bring anyone home. She told me these are not the kind of people you bring home. Last night I caved in and told her 2 a.m. She did come at that time but I kept waking up untl then. I got up at 7 a.m and it is now 9 a.m and she is still sleeping. I have to admit at19 I did not have a curfew but I was always home by 1 am because I know my parents expected us to be respectful. THANKS AGAIN.
I never knew they had that! Thanks for giving
me JUST ONE MORE snack to try!!! LOL. 
What about just giving from the heart?
Why put such a price tag on something so trivial? Jesus is the reason for the season!
Received none, but instead of giving one (sm)
which I planned on doing, after seeing something on the news about them, I just decided to give cold, hard cash (no complaints, btw). Anyhow, the news story said that stores profit greatly from them since people lose or forget about them, or buy more than the value of the gift card. So, I decided to just buy 50 one-dollar bills for my son's GF for a better effect LOL.
And that is precisely why they are giving it to
They are trying to stimulate the economy. They WANT people to spend it. They don't want you to put in in the bank. That's why they are not giving it to people who have money.
Re handing out money to people who don't file... that is incorrect. They do file. They just fall below the income amount to pay taxes.
I would prefer to be in a tax bracket that gives me less of this handout than one that gives me more.
Anyone giving up anything for Lent??
I'm going to be brave and say no to candy for the next 40 days!
Giving birth at 70?
A 70-year-old woman from India claims she has become the world's oldest new mother.
Rajo Devi and her husband Bala Ram had wanted a child in all their 50 years together.
She claims to have given birth to a baby girl at the end of November after having IVF treatment. Her husband is 72.
OK, I'm giving it a try again, except for the shoes.
I cleaned my sink last night and will keep that clean. Got up this a.m. and got dressed and ready for the day, which does indeed make a difference in my attitude. The only thing I won't do is wear my shoes in the house. This is something I've never done. It's not a cultural thing, it's must a me-thing. I'm always in socks in the house and keep my Crocs by the door for quick trips outside to mailbox or garden. The only time I wear shoes is when I'm out and about. This is something I've done all my life, and it just feels very weird for me to have shoes on in the house.
I would think 15 is good if you're giving her something else with it.
However, $90 for cut and color is inexpensive? I live in a pretty expensive area and basic color generally runs around $35 to $40 and cuts are not always $50+. I'd say she is expensive but if she is good probably worth it.
Respect or giving up your free will.
If she wants to go to church, and have that church a major part of her life, why should she give that up. He shouldn't have to go if he doesn't want to either. Sometimes divorce isn't a sad/bad thing.
what are you giving your child's teacher
I was thinking some sort of gift card...I'm sure she is overloaded with trinkets and Christmas ornaments, etc. Any creative suggestions? 
MERRY CHRISTMAS...
Fox still has not announced if they are giving any money....sm
to the cause. Notice that they keep wanting people to donate, mentioned corporate sponsors but not once have mentioned any contributions they will make. They also have no mention of this on their website.
Good for you for giving it your best shot.
 You obviously found something that attracted you to the man since you are with him. Any and all relationships require work. We are each different individuals, and in order to live together, need to find the balance that makes each happy.
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