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I assume you're single.......

Posted By: SM on 2007-01-12
In Reply to: What do you think? I know this may sound crazy, but here goes. sm - Curious

You need to call this guy. Call him at the office with a "question" and see where the conversation takes you.....Good luck!!!


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Why do you assume we're "behind"? sm
I think you'll find just the opposite to be true. Most of the therapies have come from adult stem cell research done in the US, or by American researchers in collaboration with those from other countries.

More to the point, and I hate to keep having to say this, my original post took no position against ESC research. I only pointed out that it does not appear to hold the promise that those who are grabbing for federal tax dollars would have you believe, that it has had a number of problems (such as seeding people with cancer), AND that it is a grave mistake to open these doors without due consideration for the potential risk to human embryos.

Let's think about this last point for a minute. It seems that this sort of precipitous action is becoming a habit with this administration.

We see this in the precipitous passage of the bailout package without the five days promised to read it.

We see it with Guantanamo, releasing terrorists BEFORE conducting the review that Obama himself promised.

We see it in the debacle of the proposal to Russia to dismantle the missile shield if Russia would help with Iran, which was releasedto the American press before it was discussed with Russia in displomati circles and, as a result, getting a world-class come-uppance when we were turned down like a bedspread by Putin.

I could go on, but this President is proving to be distressingly naive, politically inept, and impulsive. Whether it's throwing $billions at "fixing the economy" without proper safeguards, ESC research without proper safeguards, releasing Guantanamo prisoners without proper review, announcing the date of withdrawl from Iraq months in advance, or releasing sensitive diplomatic information to the press prematurely, the Obama administration needs to grow up and slow down.

One almost has the sense that Obama knows he will only have four years, and if he doesn't become much more measured in his actions, he just might be right.
And now you see why they're single!

I think the internet is partially to blame.  Guys start trolling for women and never stop the conquest.  Supposedly hot babes to flirt with, who wants an average girl in real life? 


If you could force the creeps to tell the truth:


"Sorry I blew off our lunch date, but I was busy having spur-of-the-moment cybersex with a stranger." 


"Oh, I never intended to actually MEET you, I only enjoyed the challenge of seeing if you would meet ME.  I prefer fantasies to reality." 


"Disappointing women gives me a power rush.  Score!"


"Quantity over quality, honey.  Now describe what you're wearing.  And what WAS your name again?"


That's quite a lot to assume that because
I don't attend church that I don't worship.

Sounds like maybe you need to do a little more worshiping!
Yes! Thanks very much. I assume I can buy the
wicks and scents from Walmart/Target craft department?
Please do not assume (sm)
That I have "never picked up a Bible or attended church much at all."  You would be wrong.  I do not believe in judging people and telling people who will go to Heaven and who will not.  I wouldn't presume to tell anyone that their loved one will not go to Heaven because of their religion - and unless you happen to be the Second Coming personified, you shouldn't either.
I assume you said...sm
rebellion because she chose to keep her maiden name. We don't discuss that in our family. LOL
you cannot assume
that she is on welfare. Maybe she is. but if so, do you really think that monetary compensation for the babies would hold a light to all she has to do to take care of them now and heart aches to come for the next 20 years? My concern is more for whether she LOVES her children and raises them well than the money and where it comes from.
That's a lot to assume. Everyone has bad days.
Everyone shouldn't be so quick to judge!

Even though I'm not in the mood, I usually give my husband a smile or something. He usually just smiles and then leaves me alone. I think sometimes even if they aren't getting anything they still just want to feel wanted, ego boost, whatever you want to call it. :)
When you assume....you are usually wrong..
as you were in this case...I used to live on a corner lot and when working away from home broken into probably 6 or 7 times, had to have bars put on the windows, stolen from- my son went by the house once and called me and told me he was there as were the police, just broken in on. One time I was at home, the house dark and someone entered the door thinking no one was there. Oh, by the way, had an exhusband who also stalked me for a long time. Please do not assume when you don’t really know about someone else. Unlike others considering being paranoid, just things happened to me like it happens to others- I just got over mine...
So, since he's divorced twice, do we assume that it

Isn't there such a thing as he divorced the wives?  Are you catching my drift?  I guess we automatically assume it was "his" fault, and never the woman's?  Just a thought.  I say just take it slow, but it is so much fun to have that initial spark, and if it continues, then great. 


I'm not sure of specifics, I assume it was
T3, T4 and TSH. Are there others they can check if these are normal? Everything I read says if thyroid usually these levels are affected. I appreciate all of your responses. I'm very nervous.
I am told never assume as you did
because you are usually wrong and such is the case here, and by the way, you are excused.
don't assume a 29-year-old is
responsible, either. My sister still lives at home (27) and my parents do her laundry, tell her to pay her bills, make her supper and clean her room. The age of the sister isn't the issue here.
assume this is true. God help you
and get away from him. get to the women's shelter, in fact, you probably need the witness protection program. he cannot legally drop insurance on the kids with a court order. There has to be someone legal to help you and the women's shelter or crisis abuse hotline knows all the numbers. outside of your kids it does not sound like you would be leaving much behind if you just went with what you could carry. I would take ANY death threat seriously and the fact he is now turning it on the kids is worrisome. Good luck.
Assume the smoking outside will not last. sm
I've lived with smokers. They all say they'll only do it outside. They ALL eventually revert to doing it inside. Especially when you are the only non-smoker. Consider how this will affect you. They may be awesome, but they're awesome smokers.
assume you are talking about sm
Something called big love, it's disgustingly funny, watch it so I know what some will do in the name of the Almighty One. I am a God-loving person but give me a break, please!! Let's just see if wife #4, the waitress gets to join the love fest. Yuk! Double Yik, yuk! Throwing up!
Not true. Don't assume because you store something somewhere
that the person storing it is liable if something is lost or stolen. In fact, I had stuff stolen from a storage facility and they were not liable. Luckily my homeowners insurance paid.

In this case I believe both husbands were at fault. OPs husband because he chose rest rather than being sure that the quads were safe....and BIL because he shouldn't have accepted responsibility for the quads if he didn't feel he could store them safely. Both should take equal responsibility for the loss IMO.

And you assume you are the only woman this has ever happened to??
Unbelievable. I have gone thru exactly the same thing, abused, mistreated, broken arm, blackened eyes. What does that have to do with forgetting other than possibly all those hits to the head. My children do not motivate me to remember. My dear, loving husband does not motivate me. My loving cats do not motivate me. No one can motivate me to remember, just ain't there. Very responsible person, pay all my bills, run 3 different homes, rentals included, write things down or give to hubby like I said so I won't misplace. I call that pretty responsible. I think no one should assume about another person's life when they really don't have a clue as to what they have been through.
and I assume they have all signed HIPAA
contracts!  Sorry about your loss.  That is a crowded workstation.  Why do my cats think they can sit in my lap while I type?
Why do you assume she married the money?

Jealous much?


I can't speak for her, but I've been married for 13 years and my husband certainly wasnt making 6 figures when I married him. Some people have goals in life, and do things early on in their life/career to help them attain those goals. 


Plus, you act as if a 6-figure income is rich and let me tell you, it's far from it (assuming she is on the lower end of that 6 figures as our household is). 


I'm not trying to slam anyone, honestly, it just amazes me some of the things people are posting to save money and makes me wonder how they can be content with their job/life if they have to struggle that much.  This is still America, the land of opportunity, and we all have a chance to better ourselves if we choose to do so.  Granted it is harder these days than say, 10 years ago, but it is still possible. Cripes, there are illegal immigrants living better off than it sounds like some of you are!


oooooooh nooooooo....dont assume anything

NOT on line.  I went to a party....much like tupperware or candle party.  Only women.  It was so darn much fun - in fact, I think it was called a *Fun Party*.  It was done tastefully, as much as possible considering it started out with this 2 or 3 foot plastic/rubber phallus in the middle of the floor.  The hostess explained all the products and how to use them, etc., etc.  She even let you try out some samples of things, privately in a separate room if you wanted.  And when it came time to order, that was done privately also.  If you wanted to tell your friends what you bought, you could.  If you didnt want anyone to know, that was up to you.


We did have refreshments and, no, hot dogs were not served.


Come to think of it, we were mostly all transcriptionists there!  Ages from 20s to 60s.  We all worked together.  I guess we MTs are just a fun lovin bunch!!!


Nope - we assume it'll be tough

I think boomers are the last of the "fix it" generations - able to make simple repairs, jump a stalled vehicle, do things "the hard way/old fashioned way" on manual, non-electronic office equipment and machines, tell time on a wind-up non-digital clock.


Many people from younger generations admit they know how to do very little unless it happens to be their college-trained specialty.  Things boomers take for granted as normal life skills like


Sew up a rip in clothing or replace a button


Pull a car out of a ditch or change a flat tire


Cook dinner from scratch, and substitute ingredients in a pinch


Do long division on paper instead of a computer, and make change without electronic help


Many who don't know, don't want to learn - they always assume there'll be someone out there they can hire to do it for them.  As a boomer I've always been shocked and dismayed at younger generations blithe lack of self-sufficiency.  Seems like they don't know how to do anything - and don't want to know.


I guess these are the times when people just assume without knowing...
I said when I answered her call "She seemed out of sorts, curt reply, telling me to call her back." Well, with all "assuming" that is going on, I assume people are not reading the post as I stated. If she thinks I am angry, I have told her to ask me. A person who assumes is wrong a lot of the time- as you were here.

It's just as rude to assume everyone will want to drop everything to talk to you when you call. n
nm
Most people would assume mom was cremated and waiting to bury urn
at least that's what I think.
I'm with you 50 and single..
I too have sworn off relationships and very happy being on my own. I cannot and will not go through it again. Both my ex's were two peas in a pod. Unfortunately, I seem to attract the same type of people. At 52, I am quite happy being alone but also having a great circle of friends. It far outweighs being unhappy, angry, always hoping things would get better when they never did.
I am not a single mom but...
I was a single woman when I bought my house. It is one of the things I regret the most right now.

BUT ONLY cause I wasn't settled down, no family, things came up and i wanted to move. I also bought it right before the market crashed 2.5 years ago, and now I am in an interest-only ARM on an upside down mortgage.

Now, considering this probably wont happen to you because the market has already crashed, there still might be room to wonder if it could fall more, depending on where you are looking to buy. My advice is if you are going to stay there and that is your home, your job, etc. etc. then buying is a great idea and when you mention you are responsible for anything that happens to the house... well that is the chance you take. Depends on what kind of home you buy, how old, and if there are HOA dues. I still dont know how I feel about homeowner's associations, even though I belong to one. However, they will be responsible for anything exteriorly wrong with my house, but for $80.00 a month. you know? so you definitely have to weigh your options.

My main advice would be DO NOT RUSH. that is what I did as I was young and excited to be a home owner at a young age, but now all that money i worked so hard for since the age of 15 is gone. I no longer have the 50K I put down on the house. That is something REALLY tough to deal with.

I love being a homeowner, but I hate that I bought when I did. you know? I know I am not the only one in that boat of course but it is still very very tough.

Good luck!!

well, I'm a single mom....
I've been divorced for nearly 8 years. I have taken care of my son completely on my own. I do not have a huge social circle, but I know what I like to do, and I concentrate on my son, but one day that child will (hopefully) grow up and be on his own and so it will be just me. I know what I like, do what I like, but sometimes, having that special someone would just, for me, make things better. But, now this is the odd part, having been married to the wrong man, I would be perfectly content to have a "significant other" without ever going to the "married" stage. I am fine and have been fine on my own the last 7 years, learned a lot about myself. Now at 35, I feel like I want someone in my life, but I dont necessarily have to be married. Sounds odd, and most of my friends are the opposite. But, I'm also one of those people that never had a lot of boyfriends, etc. I was not the girl in high school who had crushes on a lot of guys, I chose to date and not have a serious relationship in high school because I thought I was too young for that, haha. I've seen both ends of the spectrum, I've seen completely happy couples, my own mom and step-dad for example, if I was to ever get married again, I want a relationship like theirs. They are each other's best friends, and still so in love, but they also make a point of doing things separately because they are, after all, 2 separate people; and I've seen people in my life who are in their 60s and still perfectly content to be single.

I'm in the middle of that spectrum, haha, I would like someone to share in parts of my life, but I don't have to marry him if that never happens either. :)

I do know that I'm picky on friends, and I'm shy, and I don't date much, its just hard to date. I'm a single mom, I work from home, I live in a small town and have only been here 6 years, but only made 2 friends, well, people I would consider friends, I work midnights, sleep during the day, and spend time with my son in the evenings and with our family on the weekends, so I really don't even have time to date, so its a darn good thing I am happy in my life, haha, or I'd be a lonely mess. Sometimes it does get lonely, but in an affection way, not so much in a socializing way for me, I don't know how else to word that.
You're not 'low-class', you're FUNNY, & a good writer!
Which is often the case then someone is the first to cast stones!
A single woman
What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Please do not rush into a relationship with any man at this point. Enjoy this time and spend it getting to know your children better and just spending time with them. Also get to know yourself and feel comfortable with who you are - develop some hobbies and interests. If you've spent the last 2 decades in this kind of relationship, you haven't had much time to spend on yourself. Soak in a hot tub every night if you want to.

In a sense, you've just cut a huge wart off your foot and of course it's going to feel strange and unfamiliar. It was the wart that was strange, now things are normal. It just feels strange because you aren't used to it.

Hope some of this makes sense. If you think about it, I bet you are actually less lonely now than when he was there. Some of the loneliest people I know are in marriages and relationships. Some of the happiest and most joy-filled people I know are on their own.


So happy to be single.
Sounds like he has a huge stick stuck somewhere uncomfortable. Big hugs for you!
were you a single parent
x
It was not my attempt to single anyone out
is simply curiosity about some of the posts I've read. Has nothing to do with Huckabee, constitution, declaration of independence, etc.

As far as the nice day goes... right back at ya! :)
Question for single MTs
I am divorced now for awhile. I am finding that I have absolutely no interest in dating! I look at the online dating sights occasionally but no one attracts me. There seem to be slim pickens if you know what I mean. Anyway, I seem to be very happy on my own. My question is, do any of you feel the same? I guess I'm just at a point in my life where I'd rather stay single.
not one single fear

zero, zip, zilch, nada...


we are born with two fears:  the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.  the rest we create or obtain on our own later in life.  me:  none, other than the two i was born with.


Single Mom Survivor here ... have
Looking back over my experience as an owner and as a renter, raising my children alone with limited resources:

Renting is easier and more cost effective for you than buying.

Pro's of renting:
1. Low deposit to get in the door.
2. Rent is usually reasonable and oftentimes contract won't go up if you are a good renter.
3. MAINTENANCE is the responsibility of the management -- you are not out for those costs.
4. You can leave with a 30-day notice.

Pro's of ownership:
1. You are building equity.
2. Tax breaks.
3. If financial crisis, it takes about 6 to 9 months to get to foreclosure so you do have some time to find another place.

Con's of renting:
1. May require a background and/or credit check.
2. Although evictions are subject to some jurisdiction (they must give you a 10-day notice), it can be quicker to evict you from a rental than from your own property.

Con's of ownership:
1. ALL maintenance and repairs are up to you. Can be very costly.
2. You cannot get out of this very easily - especially in this market.

Hope this helps.

She's not a single person

The cnn article is worded a little confusingly, but the woman is married and her husband is the one who is scheduled to return to Iraq, not her father.


I have no idea why she was taking fertility drugs when she already has 6 at home - unless they are not biologically hers.  The doctors should be sued for malpractice for implanting that many embryos.  The ethics guidelines these days state that they should not implant any more than two at a time to avoid situations exactly like this.


Definition of a single man...
... I heard this and told it to my then-husband, who, oddly enough, did not find it funny. (Perhaps because the shoe fit all too well.)

Anyway... this lady said that many men basically had their d*ck in one hand and their umbilical cord in the other, and were looking for a place they could plug them both in....
Is he single?? LOL - not many good ones left. nm
x
single-parent dating (sm)
I'm not sure that the length of time you have been dating is really relevant as other posters mentioned. If you feel you need to have the relationship defined, it should be and when it is, you need to decide what to do next.

It is SO hard to date when you have a child, especially a daughter that you want to raise with good morals and self esteem. In order to build a good relationship and be sure the guy likes your kid, you have to invest time and expose the child(ren) to him. If he's not *the one* then you have to repeat the process, thereby exposing you kids to men, attachments, and as far as I'm concerned, confusion on the part of the kids.

I came to this conclusion shortly after my ex and I split when my daughter was 5. I dated one guy, we broke up, and didn't date again until she was out of high school.

I also identified with a line in Jerry MacGuire; words to the effect that spending time with my kid was more fun and fulfilling than any frog or potential prince.

It's my opinion and only my opinion that we had our lives, made our decisions, had our fun, made our mistakes, brought kids into the world and they should be our focus. It's hard to focus and give full attention to a child when there is guy anxiety.

I know many have done it and have been extremely successful with merging families and doing the step-dad/mom thing. I just didn't think it was fair to gamble with my child's future... things don't always happen in real life like they do in movies...

All of this was probably of no help, but I sincerely think you do need to stop and think what is going to give you peace of mind, not necessarily happiness or instant gratification, and know that whatever does give you peace of mind will benefit your child.

Good luck, sweetie! :-)
Oxymoron indeed! LOL. Single is definitely best if you can afford it : )
x
I am talking single mom by choice, not by
a death. I have been widowed before and still had a child at home and the insurance money then was split half for a burial and I gave my child the other $10,000. I do not believe in pity-parties as I see a lot on MTS. I am just glad I waited until later when having my children. I think the ultrasound is a way to make a women thing more about what should be her decision alone but would not have changed my mind then or now.
I am a single young person
and you know sometimes it is nicer to go out and do things on your own. I have found sometimes when I have gone out with people they do not want to do the same thing so you end up wasting energy trying to convince them or they lollygag and I hate that. As much as it is nice to have someone or a special someone to do things with, there is nothing wrong with being an independent and doing things on your own. As I see it, if I wait around for someone to magically appear to do things with, I may miss out on a lot of good things. As for bus trips, I live in the SF Bay Area and I know I have seen all sorts of neat bus trips to places like national parks, Tahoe, etc and you go in a group and explore.
a single paddling at school is different
from a parent keeping a paddle at home during the summer. I'm wondering why you need to go on and on about this.

My past is my past. I believe each parent has the right to raise their children in a manner that suites each family. My hope is that physical punishment is limited, but there are other methods of physical punishment other than paddling which can do worse harm to a child. Even verbal abuse can be worse.

Thank you for your sympathy for the decisions my parents made, but those things are in the past. BTW, I don't let people get close before of emotional manipulations by people in my adult life and not having learned how to stand up for myself when I was a child. Now I have learned those leasons and just use more caution about whom I take into my confidence. I'm not as screwed up as I feel you are trying to intimate :)
I celebrate being single and when I'm pregnant.
I'm not 16, however. Her sister is young and made a mistake. I'm not going to judge her ability to parent based on what Britney has done.
I don't disagree that a single home would be best
although I do disagree that group home placement is less desirable for short-term placements for multiple siblings under the federal 15/24 law by keeping the family connection intact (again, please read that my perspective is under the short-term law as it currently stands because the goal is reunification with the parents). Imagine losing your parents, then your whole family, your home, all your friends, just so some strangers can keep the kids together and who only knows what mental or other distress they suffer in that situation. Granted there are some good foster providers, but most of them want to adopt (not all of them, but most of them do) and fewer want siblings in today's environment than even just 10 years ago.

I personally took no offense in what she said about the kids. Having had a daycare for 10 years, I have seen all sides of the racial, economic, foster care, state involvement, abuse, family disagreements, drug abuse, etc., that any one person could possibly imagine. When she responded to your question about the biracial statement, even you said her answer was _not a biggie._

While you do not specifically state in your post that you adopted any of the children for whom you cared, I was pointing out the adoption factor in the federal law that currently exists and how it effects kinship care and foster care and how that law effects children and siblings. It DOES sound from your post that you saw things from a foster care perspective (pure speculation on my part).

Currently in the US there are over 5 million kids being cared for by relatives and less than 600,000 in formal foster/group home care. I've seen a grandmother who raised her 3 grandchildren for 10 years ripped away from her by the _justice_ system to be given to complete strangers because when the bio dad got out of jail, his exercised his right to reclaim the children and promptly allowed people the children had never seen before adopt them. I've seen grandparents lose their newborn grandchild to foster care parents because the state was running adoption services in preference to keeping the child with his/her family.

I am very pro kinship care even though the government finally realized a way to save millions of dollars a year by providing less support to kins than to foster care providers, draining resources on a larger number of kins who are usually older and closer to retirement age...people you give up everything they have to keep their family together.

Try not to let that chip on your shoulder damage your halo :)
dang! am I glad I'm single!

What are you doing putting up with this!?! WOW!!!  Are you kidding?!?!  Abusers isolate their victims, cut them off from their family and friends.  Climb a giant ladder and STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!!  You and your sister are free to do as you please.  This piece of work you are married to (and whose emotions you have obviously tip-toed around for ages) is going to have to get over it.  He's obviously ashamed of something, his home, his lack of employment, himself.  I cannot believe you have put up with this for ages --- grow a set and use 'em!


Are we talking single people or
families with children?   H and I make between that together but looking at our individual salaries no.   We also have 2 kids.  All I know is that we did not qualify for free or reduced school lunches.  LOL.
neither cj nor Old Part-Timer said single

people were in unhappy.  In fact, Old Part-Timer said just the opposite.  What cj was referring to was the person above, who was in a "loveless" marriage.  That has nothing to do with the things you're spouting off.  If you want to ring in on the subject, by all means do so, but please post your response where it belongs (in this case under the original post) and stop trying to argue with someone who isn't even on the same subject as you. 


They're both talking about being married to someone and not wanting to be.  You're arguing about why someone needs to be married.  Are you a McCain supporter, by chance?


Single moms - is it better to rent or buy? sm

I am separating, about to become a single mother of two children.  I am wondering if I should buy a home or rent one.  While buying seems like a good idea, I would also be giving a chunk of money for a down payment (which if I rented I could keep as emergency savings) plus I would be responsible to repair anything that might break.  I would appreciate any advice on this. 


thanks :-)


A single mother is not just a woman who has never
been married before.  If she's divorced, she's single.  If she's widowed, she's single.