I apologize for coming off rude

• When's the best time to buy a house? - Luke S.
  • best time to buy a house - sarmt
  • I sort of know where you are coming from - sm
  • That $6K a month I presume is before taxes - sm - XXX
    • This is w/o health insurance either - sm - XXX
  • When you can afford it. - nm
  • Are you putting down a lot, like half? - sm
    • a family member will help us.... - Luke S.
      • You have to have your own financial backing - Jane
      • You need professional advice - Rad MT
        • thank you for the advice .... nm - Luke S.
        • it's an overwhelming response - Luke S.
  • It's a buyers market. Just hold on to that job. - Good luck.
  • Does anyone else thinks this sounds - sm
    • please don't be rude - Luke S.
      • I apologize for coming off rude - sm
        • It's okay. - Luke S.
      • Not rude, just realistic...you asked... - mtc
  • House poor - MIMT
    • With the prices of homes and property taxes today, just about everyone is house poor. - SM
      • We are also fortunate here in our area... - mtc
      • House costs here are not that fricking high - Lana
        • I guess you are right; it is where you live :( - sm
          • Where are you? Wish I knew how to send - Lana
            • NJ and well over 200,000 for a cracker box - NJfool
  • Too much house for you on your income... - mtc
  • Did you talk to a bank or mortgage company and see if you can get pre-approved? Seems - like your income is too low for such a costly hous
    • if we get to their 75,000 annual income qualification - Luke S.
    • ...house. Baby will only add on more expenses and maybe loss of - wife's income??? Plan it out! NM
      • Oh, and you forgot, his is not on a regular basis - Faith
      • interest-only payment - Luke S.
        • Here is an idea to find out if you can afford 2700 a month. - SM.
        • I know about the no interest loans - Annie
        • Wow, sounds like you want to jump right into the fire. - MSMT

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It's totally cool if you don't agree with something I said!  You asked for other's opinions and that was mine--that maybe he just is concerned for your health.  However, if it's a control issue, that whole alpha male "I'm the one with a penis and it's your job to produce my children and be my trophy wife" BS, then I'd be looking for an out too.  That's mental abuse.  Marriage is about being a team and being supportive when the other is down and out.  If you've tried the counseling thing and you know he's being insincere, what is going on is totally unhealthy and life it too darned short for that, I agree. 

Never apologize for your feelings.  They are YOUR feelings and they are valid.  Your FIL and his wife will find a way to gloss this over and of course their friends will believe them.  I think you rock for doing what you did.  That took cojones - even if they were angry cojones. 

Unfortunately, I have found that there are a lot of people like this who claim to be Christians.  They give the rest of us a bad name, IMO.  I worked at a church for a number of years and it left a very bad taste in my mouth for most organized religion.

As to your husband's situation, there are no words to express what you're going through.  Maybe your husband needs to know - when he's a little stronger - that Dad knows and did nothing.  Maybe that would help him with the final break from his family that he needs and set him on the path to building his own life.   You need to tell his therapist and let his therapist guide you in making that determination.

I personally would be inclined to terminate all contact with his father.  Sounds like your kids won't necessarily miss him and your husband may be healthier for it in the long run.

Good luck.  If you yourself are not already seeing a counselor, I would recommend it highly.  Your husband is going to be in long-term treatment as an outpatient and it would certainly help you as well.

It's a huge part of your life and there's nothing wrong with that!  We have the most wonderful neighbors who are crazy Catholic...I mean they wear rosaries bracelets, have multiple Catholic-esque bumper stickers, and they carry bibles the way most people carry a PDA.  However, they are the most genuine, sweet, and fun people I have met on my little street here.  I love having them over just to shoot the chit, share a bottle of wine, and love hearing them talk about their religion, which is a HUGE part of their lives.  They are happy, friendly, and they love life and that's what counts.  They know I am what I am (atheist) and while I know they say they pray for me, they don't make me feel at all uncomfortable and I think they honestly enjoy my warped view of the world.  Gives them some perspective of what else is walkin' around out there ;-) 

Nice people are nice people, no matter what their (or lack thereof) religious convictions may be.

It is my understanding there is a Vatican I and a Vatican II and that one is ultra-conservative and traditional and the other has sort of a more liberal (for lack of a better word) approach.  So I am sure that not all Catholic churches and all priests are like this one priest.

Also I apologize for the homosexual/molestation remarks I made in my original post.  That was uncalled for and was a terrible thing to say.  Not all priests should be categorized that way.  I was angry with this one priest and obviously didn't have a stronghold on my anger when I first posted.

Thanks for your responses and for not being offended.  It would have been very easy to tear into me for my generalizations.

I have one more question.  My son-in-law to be said something about if he and my daughter were to be married by a justice of the peace, they could still get married in the Catholic in the future should my daughter convert, but if they were to marry in any other church by any other man of God, there marriage would never be recognized in the Catholic church nor could they ever get married (again to each other) in the Catholic church.  Is this true?

This is all just too legalistic for me. 

I've been hearing this crap all my life due to a religious upbringing.  Oooh, we'll be persecuted and have to go live in caves during the end times.  I'm over it!

The only thing one can do is get right with God the best they can.  And that's between them and their deity.

If the planet shifts on its axis, the sun sends out a flair, or any other global disaster, there is no way to prepare for it, physically, mentally, etc.  You'll either be in the right place/time or not.  You'll either die, or not.  Whatever unpredictable circumstance you're in, you'll do the best you can.

And if nothing unusual happens at all on winter soltice 2012, it will still be a matter of surviving whatever socioeconomic mess we are in at that time.

Live your life one day at a time, that's all you can be sure of.  Don't worry about tomorrow because God is already there.  Why go nuts like we did preparing for 2000?  I refuse to stress on it, I did enough time doing that when I was a child having religious propaganda shoved down my throat.  I did more stressing during the 2000 non-crisis because my boss was paranoid and put ME in charge of safeguarding all our electronic medical records from the big crash that never happened.  This time, I don't give a hoot, and I'm not doing anything any different than I would any other day of the year.  Tell your loved ones you love them and go the heck to bed!

What did you think about last night's performances , who is the winner.

I liked Kris better.   Adam killed Kara's song.   I also think when the judges talked to Kris after his last song it felt like they were saying goodbye to him and saying he did not have a chance to win.  I hope Kris wins to prove them all wrong.  I would have loved to see Allison be in first or second place. 

The clue for your caller would have been when you said "hello"?  Don't ya' think? 

If there's anyone left on the planet (well, maybe it's just this country) who doesn't know this, and isn't sick and tired of hearing about it, seeing TV spots about it, etc. It's been going on for what, almost a year? It started before Feb 2008 because some got the idea THAT was when it was going to change, but it was 2009- over a year away.

I haven't paid much attention to it, after hearing that if you have cable or satellite you don't have to do anything, that takes care of it, but was noticing recently, one of our TV channels has (at times) a marquee running along the top of the picture, telling about it. At first I thought it was some breaking news like WW3 or the troops coming home from Iraq, but no, it was the same stuff about the change to digital and SOME TVs won't work (but some channels will still be in no digital, maybe the PBS ones can be?) 

Thinking it was some big news story, I read it, and I don't know if it's been saying this all along but, along with saying you won't get (or might NOT get) good or any TV when it changes, unless you get a converter box, it also says YOU CAN USE A VCR OR DVD (as a convertor)!

Not a lot of people don't have a VCR or DVD player and if not, you can get a cheap one for $39.99 or so.

So, you can hook up your antenna to the VCR or DVD player and that "converts" it to the digital the TV needs, and you also get the VCR and DVD player (if you don't already have one)? So, why haven't they said this before? Or, if they have it wasn't stressed.

People can get coupons to buy a converter box, more wires and things to hook up, when they can use their VCR or DVD player (or buy a cheap one and watch tapes or DVDs or record, etc. on them, too)?

Maybe I have this wrong, but I know it said you either MIGHT need a convertor box, OR a VCR or DVD player to get the digital signal (just not with your TV and anntenna)

Just thought I'd pass this on, in case anyone who uses an antenna still hasn't gotten a converter box but might have a VCR or DVD player (or would rather buy one, instead)

You called him a sociopath, then asked "doesn't he have any remorse or guilt?"  Well, no, not if he's a sociopath.  (Which I also think he is, BTW.) 

That's a big part of what makes someone a sociopath/physiopath (aka antisocial personality disorder) - not having a conscience or the ability to empathize about the feelings of others, among other things.  There are, (unfortunately) a lot of people in our society who are sociopaths, to some degree or other.  It's pretty scary.

He's a sickening man.  I've always wondered what it must be like for his two kids, being raised by the father who murdered your mother.  It always seemed insane to me that he was given custody of them.