I am still cleaning up my mess from about 2 months -sm
Posted By: in-debtMT on 2008-12-05
In Reply to: Not really taken for a ride but... - Broke.
ago. We have paid off all but $3K on my husbands cards, have them paid off in full by March, don't want to get stretched to thin over Christmas, car insurance on 2 cars and propane for heat. I am on hardship plans with 2 of my credit cards, one is no interest for a year, the other is 10% for a year. Cut the payment in half on one, the other only by about a 1/3). Have 2 of my others current again--small balances on those, and working on getting the last one current--need another $600 on that one to get caught up after not paying for about 3 months. But in 2009 plan to use a debt settlement company and for at least the 2 that are on the hard ship plan (don't think it will work on anything you have current) and that should save me I hope at least $15K before interest, which is about 40% of the total due on those two. But waiting until 2009 because of the tax liability, will have a year to save up the taxes owed on any settled accounts, have $1400 set aside so far, figured on saving at least $3K to be safe. --but yes you can do a lot yourself in terms of negotiating a lower payment and interest as long as you show good faith. I am making my payments on time (they directly debit it from checking). Learned a lot here asking questions. Sorry to hear you got ripped for the $400 but as someone hear pointed out, you ask to be put on the hardship plan and they transfer you over to another department who handles repayment plans, etc.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
I am so sorry, what a mess. - sm
I agree, as I am sure you do, that your son is the #1 priority here. You need to stick to your guns and let him know that you will have him arrested as a runaway the next time he goes out of the house without your permission. Unfortunately, he really needs to be scared right now of what the consequences will be if he breaks rules. I would also suggest weekly drug tests for a while, just to let him know you are on top of it. I would also let your BIL know that if he ever touches your kid again he will be arrested for assult and that if you hear or see of him abusing his kids again you will call CPS on him... I know this sounds harsh, but he should not be allowed to get away with bullying anyone like he obviously is used to doing. As far as your sister is concerned, I agree with the other poster who said she may be scared of her husband. Wow this is really an ugly situation, and I am so sorry you are dealing with it. If you will accept, I would love to pray for the situation and all involved...
wow, what a mess
You and your husband need to sit down and work out a plan and present a united front. At the age of 19, he is legally an adult. This is your home and you have the right to be treated respectfully. It seems you both need to confront him with how you perceive his behavior and present some alternatives, whatever you decide is best. If he does not have a car in his name, take away the keys, even if you have to sleep with them in your pillowcase at night. You can't let this behaviour affect your younger child. You can withdraw the invitation that he stay at your home when not at school if he cannot treat you nicely. You don't have to DO these things, but present some alternatives if he doesn't change his ways and then follow through if he continues. They say people treat you badly only if you allow it. It sounds like it's time to stand up and be firm about how you are treated. Best of luck in a tough situation. I hope you get your husband's support as that will be critical. Don't let this man ruin your marriage.
Hot mess is what I think. nm
n
no its a big mess that I don't sm
even want to post on this board. My son chose this. He started acting up when he was 18 years old and will be 35 in June. He just decided he wanted nothing to do with his family. We have been around and around with this junk. Last time he called was 2 years ago. He calls and starts a ruckus and then you don't hear from him for 3-4 years. I haven't laid eyes on him in 9 years. He has to figure out his own problems.
I have another son who is 32 and is a firefighter here where we live. He is a joy. He is married and I agree with you about a sons a son til he takes a wife. Everyone I know who has sons and DIL go through this. I love my daughter-in-law dearly and have never had a cross word with her but its not like my son and I don't get treated as well either. I just suck it up and go on. No reason to cause a ruckus.
O well, enough for today
You mean not cleaning, huh?
I have seen others but hubby cleans everything in the kitchen as clean as humanly possible, getting out the scouring pads and Ajax or the like. No burnt on items and tells me just let him get it as his eyesight is a lot better than mine and I might miss a speck of something!
My MIL used to do all her own cleaning...
scrubbing floors on all fours and such, but now is paying a price with health problems, achy bones and joints, etc. I asked her why she didn't just have someone come in every so often to clean (because she is in her 70s), and now she does that. I like having a cleaning service come every couple of weeks to do the deep cleaning for me. They get on their fours to clean my floors, something I would never do. I keep it up in between visits, but not like what they do.
I've actually stopped using them a couple of times because of the guilt and the feeling of being pampered, but I got over and we use it. I don't want to have an achy, sore body later in life because of pride, and neither does my hubby! Also, at the end of my last work day, I would dread the thought of hard cleaning on my days off, so now look forward to my weekend with only laundry to do! We pay $75 for 2 women to come and clean for 2 hours. I do make our own beds before they come, as I feel funny about that. Just had a cleaning today and love it! I say go for it for those who are considering it! It's so worth it! Stay younger and live longer! :-) Those women who think they're doing it all by cleaning, cooking, and working, are actually hurting themselves in the long run.
wow, what a mess to go through for so long!
The reason for having to file CS orders against both is that my GD gets a small welfare check each month, Medicaid coverage and WIC (for now and free school lunches later). All CS attempts/costs are handled by the state agency, not a private attorney. They now have an interstate agreement that is supposed to be more efficient, but hey, that is their ball of wax. Any money they collect goes to the state first to repay the aid my GD gets, along with all the associated collection fees...so I really am not holding my breath (might pass out! lol) on EVER seeing any money. Neither of them can ever have custody of the child again due to the laws in my state, so what I have is the next best thing to adoption, plus GD gets the aid. So, I'll let the state do their thing - they are rated very high on the list of collecting CS as compared to other states - and now that I'm done with court appearances, I will just raise my little one and let those that need to worry do it for me :)
Thanks for your support and advice!
listening to this mess-
I think doctors today are just different. I remember doctors that would actually stop and rewind to the spot that needed to be corrected instead of dictating it after the fact. I also recall the time when doctors did not say "umm, or keep you hanging waiting for the next word. I overheard two doctors discussing his mother's surgery and recovery. The attendings that are "supposed" to be training these up and coming doctors should include dictation techniques.
I did not say this was my sister-in-law, did I? What a MESS!!!
NM
I was on a rant and about a mess....
and yelled 'pick up your toys and put them away, dammit!"
She - then 4 - started to do so, but turned back and looked me right in the eye and said,
"don't call me dammit!"
had to laugh.
She does not need TMZ , she makes her own mess.
I saw these pictures actually on celebs on Craig's List yesterday, not TMZ.
Re: Beneficiaries in a will (what a mess)...
Hi to all you smart legal types,
My dear sweet grandfather passed away on February 6, 2009, at the age of 87.
My brother and I have been named in the will in place of my father who has alcohol dementia and is in a nursing home receiving state assistance. My aunts and uncles (my father's sisters and brothers) are also in the will. My grandfather's intent was to keep the estate in the family, so,therefore the will was changed to me and my brother. On the day of the funeral my aunt (who is the executor) informs me that there may be some CDs and/or life insurance policies that were not changed to me and my brother and are still in my father's name. My grandfather's intent when changing the will of course was to keep the estate in the family and not have it to go to the State of Wisconsin since my father is receiving Medicare and Medicaid. This does not make sense to me why everything was not originally changed!
I am unsure how this all goes, but these things I have learned from a friend who went through a similar situation and want someone to clarify me if I am wrong.
Here goes: First off, why would the original lawyer (they have since hired someone else to handle the estate since my father passed now) not have made sure everything was changed and had my father's name taken off everything? Shouldn't this have been part of his job since the original intent was to keep it in the family? And if this is part of his job, someone suggested I contact his malpractice company as this may be our recourse to this dilemna since he didn't do his job properly.
Secondly, since my aunt is the executor, I was also told that what an executor does is acts in the behalf of the deceased (my grandfather) and she has the authority to have this changed even now. She is telling my brother who is the power of attorney for my father that he needs to hire a lawyer and have this changed. I am also told from my friend that if he does have to hire a lawyer he can sue the estate to recoup the costs of doing so, which I am sure will go over like a lead balloon! Is my aunt not aware of what her role is or am I wrong? My brother of course has a passive/aggressive personality and I am the go-getter, and he basically said he doesn't care and wants to let it go because he does not want to deal with it. I feel if my aunt is so concerned about it and keeps bugging him about it and has the authority, then she needs to do it. But, I also told him that grandpa's intent was to keep it in the family and if something can be done to change it then we should, but of course it may not be worth it monetary wise either as the lawyers will get a good chunk of change. And on that note, am I allowed to ask the lawyer exactly the dollar amounts we are talking such as life insurance, CDs, or the estate itself since I am listed on the will? My aunt told my brother, but not me and he says he doesn't remember.
I am not very trusting of my family and I can see greed written all over this! If this is not being handled properly by the family, especially my aunt, I am trying to figure out what is in it for her. I have a call into the new lawyer, which by the way, I was not told that we had switched laywers by my aunt. I only found out through my brother who I spoke with the other day. Since we are all listed in the will, we should all be kept informed. I don't believe the family really wanted me and my brother in the will, but agreed to make the best a of bad situation as best as they could, versus the State getting the money or the only grandchildren listed in the will!
Sorry so long and windy, but have so much on my mind right now regarding this situation and until I get some real answers this will bother me all day. Please if anyone out there understands anything about how wills and/or estates work and has any insight, please respond.
Thank you!
At next cleaning, would use another dentist
xx
Cleaning egg crate
Help! I just moved into a partially furnished mobile home. The bed has an egg crate topper on it. It has not been used for a long time - the place has been empty, on the market for long while. The previous tenant had a cat and I'm still cleaning up pet hair, including a ton of it on the bedskirt.
Anyway, the egg crate is very dusty - down in its valleys, but still in good shape, not shredding or anything. Is there anyway I can clean this thing? I thought about vacuuming it, but it would take hours because each little thing would have to be done separately. It is queen size and will not fit in the washer, but I might be able to launder it in the bathtub, then stand it upright and let it dry.
I bought a new mattress topper, but I would like to reuse/recycle this egg crate - packing material, maybe a couple of chair cushions, etc., - but it would need to be cleaned first.
Any ideas? Thanks.
Sorry, cleaning all day, here is recipe sm
I would set the oven at about 350-375 degrees, no higher or lower, I add everything at once, the apple juice, the butter, etc., and cover with foil just so it won't make a mess in the oven. I love the conventional oven, I guess you could microwave it (but not with foil, of course). It depends on the squash itself, some are harder than others, but I would say 45 min. to an hour. Stick a fork in it and you can tell if it's soft. You can do it the night before and just "nuke" it on TDay to warm it up. My refrigerator will not hold all this stuff plus the turkey -- that's the problem, as it is with others, I am sure. If the temp outside is not freezing, i.e., under 32 degrees, I put a large cooler outside and move all the canned and bottled drinks there - out the door and use the extra room. I have a little office size fridge in the basement for extra. Have a great day. The cleaning is the worst part and my husband gets angry because in 5 minutes the place looks like a tornado hit it. but at least I know it's clean and neat for the start of things. Happy Turkey Day! I do a lot the night before or day before now, as I find if soaked in water on the stove, it isn't harming anyone, then just turn the heat on and cook, or even cook the night before, smash it up and nuke it to warm it up. It's all about SPACE!
I have cleaning people too and sm
have run into that. I just put things away.
If I were you, I would just tell her that if its behind closed doors in a cabinet to NOT open and clean. If she ignores that, then you have to think about a new cleaning lady.
Dental cleaning
What is the average cost these days for teeth cleaning (without insurance)? I suppose they include x-rays as well. I know the cost can vary but am trying to get an idea of the cost without insurance. My son and I have dental insurance but my husband does not so he needs an estimate. I think the dental office my son goes to is a bit pricey; however, with the dental insurance I have not bothered to comparison shop the prices.
Thanks.
You wanna mess your cat up for good?
Get a chicken...nay, a ROOSTER. My old cat thought he saw an all-you-can-eat buffet when he first met "Steve," my Rhode Island Red. He was stalking Steve from behind a bush (my chickens are free rangin'), started that low belly-creep towards his prey, and Steve saw him coming from the eyes that are in the back of his head. That bird actually turned on my old cat and chased HIM away. He's been reformed ever since and hardly goes outside anymore, even though Steve and his girls are long gone. He's totally shell shocked, even though Steve never got near him. Even the cute little chickadees in the window feeder make his hair stand on end now.
Re: SICKO, the healthcare mess, etc.
Interesting video on YouTube - this guy says it simply & eloquently. He wants people to send him videos on the subject - anyone out there in MT with a PC-cam could certainly get the word out on the offshoring-of-medical-records to a HUGE audience in this way. Here's a link to the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8NDs4YuLXE
He doesnt want the kids cause they would mess up his
asdf
We ALL mess with mother nature
Who among us has not colored their hair, seen a plastic surgeon because we weren't satisfied with our bodies, took a pill to alter our mood or help a physical condition that made us uncomfortable? Who has not dieted, worn colored contact lenses, got a perm, had liposuction? Who didn't get their ears pierced, or love someone who has a body piercing or a tattoo? Even if you never did any of these things, did it make you "sick" whenever someone else did?
Why is it MY business what someone else does with their body? Oh, that's right, it isn't. If I don't like your decision to become a blonde, should it make me "sick"? Should I sneer at you and throw rocks because I personally don't like it that you got breast implants? Well, that's what people do to people that change their sex. What gives them the right?
She was irrelevant 10 years ago..what a hot mess!
//
then just a simple cleaning lady?
OK, I gotcha! I'm thinking about doing this myself...my hubby just got a hefty raise, so hopefully I can afford to pay someone to clean my house now!
Don't bother with a cleaning service...
Save your money. We had a cleaning service twice a month for a year, and the day they cleaned the house, it looked wonderful, but the day after...yikes! Like it never happened. We have 3 kids and 2 dogs, and it's honestly like shoveling in a snow storm! So my husband and I took the job back and do our own cleaning. We teach the kids to clean their rooms, otherwise it won't get vacuumed. I clean the 3 bathrooms on my day off, which really doesn't take too much time if I spot clean in between. We just keep after the kids to pick up after themselves. I always have a to do list in my head for myself every weekend and feel good when I actually get them done! I know that's strange, but I do:-) Just take one day at a time, think about what you really want taken care of, and it'll get done. Don't sweat it, but I wouldn't throw money at a service to do it. Your husband has to work as a team with you. If he likes organization so much, then he can handle that part of the duties. I never grocery shop or really cook...so my husband took that over from the beginning. We chose the things we like to do and then get them done. Who cares who does them? Good luck!
I have a cleaning service and I love it
She comes in every two weeks. Of course, most of the time it is just my husband and me, with my son home from college on holidays and vacations. And we are pretty much neatniks - I just can't do the "heavy" cleaning (bathroom, floors, etc.) because of my back, and I don't want my husband spending his weekends cleaning.
Before you bring anyone in, though, it would be a good idea to sit down with everyone and discuss how you are going to handle things in between maid visits. The kids need to learn to carry their dirty dishes to the sink (and put a little water on them to soak off any food residue - my pet peeve!). You need to make sure that everyone has their own laundry hamper and make it a rule that dirty clothes must go in there immediately - no throwing them on the floor until "later." Make sure that the kids have adequate storage for their toys and clothes, with a place for everything.
And everybody needs to follow the "one-in-one-out" rule - if you buy something new, whether it's clothes, toys, or whatever, then something comparable has to go in the "donate" bin (or trash, depending on condition) and be taken out of the house.
If your family can learn to follow these rules and you have someone come in once a week or every two weeks for the heavy cleaning, I can guarantee things will run a lot more smoothly.
Good luck!
Ever have a yearly exam, cleaning?
They give you a soft toothbrush, always.
spring cleaning blinds
I have blinds on my windows that are dusty and yucky. I'm wondering if anyone has a good way to clean them without taking them down. 
Talk about some spring cleaning
My house is getting in really good shape. I, like you, also have some medical issues, 1 being fibro. Some days I am so achy I just could cry. Most days my ribs are so sore cannot touch me. Having said that I continue to work because my husband thinks I can do the work IF not working and I just do not care to do it. I do washing and hang that up in the washroom, cleaning person hangs in closet because the poles are really high for this 5Ɗ" person to jump up to. I pay the person myself. My husband does not so what I pay for, work for and really mine to spend as I like.
Cleaning lady broke something again!
This time it's really not replaceable. It was a tiny glass vase of tuilps that my MIL brought back from Italy. Each tulip was separate and just adorable.
I MIGHT be able to find something like it online, but I haven't looked yet. She/they have broken stuff before and while the stuff as been important to me it was not expensive.
I had this, and a few other things in my bedroom entertainment cabinet - to PROTECT it from HER. Today she decides to clean in there.
I think this is it. She cleans well and is affordable, but at this rate everything important to me will be broken in a couple of years.
Sooo true! But I didn't mess her up.
No really, she is a rescue.
:oD
Does divorce always mess up boys' lives?? (sm)
So worried about my 10 year old son, whether I go or whether I stay. Anyone with experience?
Heck no! 40 is a great age- you know enough not to mess around but you don't have Alzheimer's
Tips on cleaning porcelain lamp
Hi All,
I bought a beautiful old oil lamp. It has a white porcelain shade that has a darkish ring around the top rim. I put a little diluted bleach water on it and, as is typical for things I try to fix, the stain kind of ran and spread. Any tips on cleaning this would surely be appreciated. I don't know what the stain is, just that it's dark. lol TIA!
Cleaning mercury spill from thermometer.
http://dhs.wisconsin.gov/eh/HlthHaz/fs/HGtherm.htm
Wean yourself from her, little by little, for your own peace of mind. She'll either get the mess
x
ADDENDUM. Just trying to get some straight answers and not sure what to make of this whole mess. nm
nm
I agree; the cleaning spatula they give you does not work
If you use marinades or the like forget it - everything sticks to it and makes a big mess. So most times I either had to clean it right away with water while still very hot (and by the time I ate my food it would get cold) or I had to go and turn the grill back on and use water on it and a new sponge each time and then throw the sponge away each time because it was such a mess. Anyone have any pointers on a easier way to clean it or suggestions for another indoor grill? :)
ask how long she plans to stay as you need help cleaning out the attic or some
yuck job...
maybe?
I feel your pain... sometimes I consider shaving my head!!! I just keep it short so as not to mess
nm
Mrs. Meyer's geranium or lavender. They also make cleaning products.
The love of my life does all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping etc..
He even has decorated the house with Christmas villages, lights etc.., wrapped all the presents, even his own..LOL (I did put them in brown boxes). I'm sorry but I sit here all day working..he can do something. I know how lucky I am. Going from being a single mom to this has been heaven. For every dream I had, it was answered by him. I shouldn't brag..but...last year he took me on 3 cruises..and it just never stops. So kudos to all of you who have a wonderful man in your life. Lord knows they are few and far in between..
Hubs did window cleaning as a teen & always got swamped w/folks wanting them
s
Suggestion for cleaning chrome faucets in bathtub that does not hurt the finish of them but
removes water spots.
wow. several months for TAT...wish we had that!--nm
nm
Nine months later?
That's unreal. I would be interested to hear his explanation after your phone call. If you cancelled the appointment you should not have been billed, much less that amount. Good luck with that one!
Definitely let him do it. It's only for a few months.
It must be awful to spend that much time driving every day, and gas is so expensive right now. Just let him do it. It's only until spring, and it will make things so much easier on him.
When my son was 9 MONTHS old SM
we lived in South Carolina, and his daycare center asked me to sign a form giving them permission to spank him if he misbehaved. He was a BABY and they wanted to spank him! Holy Cow! I refused to sign it and took my son out of their daycare, but it was legal there (this was 14 years ago...not sure what the law is now). But I was shocked.
I'm not anti-spanking...I just think only a parent should be able to spank their child. Definitely not someone who doesn't love your child and who may be too heavy handed.
Chickadee
They are now - it took several months for them to
get like this. Whenever one is curled up sleeping, the other will slink over and rest their head on the other one. :)
my son will be 11 in a few months
and never had anything like this. He's very forgetful and seems to lack common sense the last year or so. He also likes to turn his back and put his head down when he doesn't like something but hsn't cried in a long time unless he's hurt.
It sounds to me like maybe other kids (or someone) is telling your son he is fat or maybe making fun of him with clothes and that's why he suddenly changes his mind about what's cool and what's not.
I know my son is really starting to look at the high school aged kids for direction on what to wear, haircuts, etc. The long hair, no shower, messy look. We have had a talk that we understand he is growing up and with that comes priviledges but also he can only "grow up" so fast and he's not 15 or 16 and will not be treated as such until then. We have also told him at his age it is our job as parent's to make sure he is clean, fed, gets good sleep and grades, has clothes, and a roof over his head...and with that means we will make sure he takes a shower and makes himself look presentable. Long hair is fine, messy-look is fine...but rolling out of bed and tossing wrinkled clothes on is not - until he's 18 and then he can do what he wants.
Maybe you could sit down and have a talk with your son and ask him about why he's so emotional and changes his mind a lot. Could also call the school guidance counselor (even anonymously) and ask if it is normal behavior or might be signaling something more going on. They are really the experts on behavior at that age and for some reason many kids will talk to them when they won't talk to their own parents.
I have been seeing one the last few months.
I was a skeptic for certain. My husband ended up in the hospital with back problems and all the doctors would do is prescribe him meds to alleviate the pain. He started going to a chiropractor looking for relieve. It took a while but they helped him tremendously. After that I decided to give it a shot. The past few months I have been going weekly because insurance would pay for a certain number of visits in a year. Now that the year is renewing I have told my chiro that I am cutting back to once a month, or as I feel I need it. I will continue to go just not regularly at 1-2 times a week. She saw nothing wrong with that.Like you I can definitely tell a difference with less stiffness, better range of motion, better sleep, etc.
I think everyone should wait at least 3 months.
x
|
