I am an "older" person with younger children. We only do what we find sm
Posted By: TC on 2009-01-19
In Reply to: I'm noticing a trend with younger women.. - MTinMT
interesting to us. However, I am proud to say that I have 10-yo daughter that can sew (and is getting better than me) and can cook. She can do these things because she really loves it! Together this year, we sewed her Halloween costume and she as Rapunzel. Yep we made the hair and everything. We spent time together doing it and she loved it. At Christmas, we baked more batches of fudge, candies, etc than we really needed but again we enjoyed the time together. And admittedly her recipe for choc. covered cherries was much better than mine as she made the white stuff in the middle :) She has more patience than I do.
Now, I can turn around and say my mother, who is in her 60s, cannot sew anything and does not even own a sewing machine and has not in years. BUT, her mother was a fantastic seamstress and made a lot of my clothes when I was young.
It is all in what we enjoy doing. Does not matter the age. If you find a little niche for yourself that you enjoy, then by all means continue bringing pleasure to yourself. If you prefer to pay someone to do these things, more power to you. Everybody has a reason to be here, no matter how small or big that reason may be.
Have a wonderful week everyone!
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Where did you find a younger picture? nm
X
i'd find a different tax person
there are many that could find the right deductions. In my opinion,she is 'slow' socially, and with no more good sense/judgment that she shows, i'd want to stay clear of her and have her far away from my personal affairs, which she may well unethically blab about as well...
I would find a different tax person. sm
My husband is very shy, stand offish, I'm the one always talking (I'm the outgoing one, he's more reserved, stay at home kinda person). I would have taken offense to the remark she made. I would definitely find a different tax person.
I find it to be harder working from home with children who are not in school..
I have a 2 year old home with me all day and believe me it would be much easier to take her to day care and get my work done...
Oh, I beg to disagree. I know plenty of "older"
people who are in bad shape financially. They're getting squeezed out of jobs because young college grads with good technical skills can be hired for much less money. They've got a "want it now" mentality after living it up in the ྌs. They owe money on houses, cars and credit cards. Sweeping generalizations won't work on either age group. Some do, some don't. Age has nothing to do with it.
"The parents", the "older man". The welfare of child
tfd
Are you a night person or a morning person?
Just curious . . .
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
Find a lawyer, find out where you would stand - sm
in the event of a divorce/separation, regarding custody, house, etc. Custody was my main concern as well since I lied on numerous occasions about the finances. Where I am I was told that would not factor in to the custody at all. I can prove that I am my kids caregiver 90% of the time, I ferry they around everywhere, help with homework, get ready for school, meet at busstop, etc. I could also point out my husband is an alcoholic, self treats his depression with alcohol instead of getting proper medical treatment, has threatend to kill himself (or me) numerous times (though he always says he was joking and did not mean it.....that is his standard answer to everything, or that he never said that). Now I do love him enough to deal with all that because deep down inside my DH is full of it, luckily for me, he has never followed through on anything he says he is going to do. But I thought my confession would be the straw that broke it all and send him over the edge. He still is angry with me, I am sure he will be for a long time, but is keeping it together pretty well, though he has said the stress was going to kill him, now he know how I felt I guess. I am sorry your husband is such a smuck. I feel like a dog sometimes with the sex demands, have to do it the night before he goes out of town....he will be traveling a lot for work for the next 3-4 months, which I am more than glad about, much calmer here then, though it gets tiring for me but as he is not really helping much right now it really won't be much of a change. As for yours going on 5 day weekends.....have you considered having him followed, sounds like there may be some infidelity afoot, and if so that would strengthen your case in the event of a divorce and custody I would think. Sounds a bit fishy going out until 1 a.m. and his frequent trips. My DH fishes too, but he goes 2 miles from here with one of our male neighbors, they shoot the breeze and he gets to unwind some which I encourage. Very rare weekends with a buddy of his, I am talking once every 2 years, which again is fine with me. Start keeping track of all you do, when he is home, where he supposedly goes, with whom, etc. He cannot show he will be a responsible dad if he is never there or never interacts with his own kids. My DH would probably suggest I take our older daughter and he the younger, spliting them up, he has the same perception, the oldest is mine, the youngest is his. Our younger daughter is much easier to deal with, our older daughter drives him nuts and she is only 10. My younger one (8) knows something has been going one though, and worries we will divorce, which she does not want. She is very perceptive for her years. I hope that if you do go the divorce route, which would actually probably be best in your situation, that it all works out for you and you get your fair share of assets, etc. Make sure before you do anything like that you have all your ducks in a row, so talk to divorce lawyer. I talked to one for 45 minutes, cost me $160 but was worth it to set my mind at ease. Good luck.
It probably varies from person to person (sm)
With me, first child I was out of the bed seriously within 5 minutes of having him. I didn't tear or have to be cut, he was 7 pounds, 3 ounces. The doctor did some type of vaginal massage on me though while I was in labor and that was supposed to help loosen the vaginal wall?
Second child, same experience. She was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and within 5 minutes of having her, while they took her to the nursery to get cleaned up and all, I walked downstairs with my husband to the cafeteria to get a drink and stretch my legs. I had already put my regular clothes back on as well. My doctor who delivered her was walking in my room as I was walking in and he was stunned a second and said he thought I was a visitor, LOL, not the patient.
I don't think you have to have bed rest in normal cases. With my son I went home within 24 hours with him and with my daughter we went home in only 20 hours.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
younger men
My husband is 5 years younger, no problem with age here. My kids get a kick out of it and tell dad that Mom's the boss, because she's older!!
Younger Men
Age is only an indication of how long we have been on this earth. It does not determine our level of intellect, experience, class or style. As long as he is an adult and meets your standards and expectations, that is all that matters. I have seen older me that are a mess and younger ones that are a mess. It is a very individual thing. My husband is 8 years younger and we have a wonderful marriage.
when i was younger
had to move from our home because the owner wanted to remodel. we had been there 5 years.
I'm 7 yrs younger.
x
Wish I had read this when I was younger!
Everything you said was on the mark. Thanks for a great post!
Although I'm several years younger than you (47) I would
say that you are already working at your marriage. You keep the little spats from becoming big arguments, you have a good relationship with your husband, you trust each other, you enjoy his company and he enjoys yours. All of these things are what I consider working at marriage. Those who don't "work" on these things often end up divorced or miserable. Just thank God that you have a wonderful husband and a good marriage. I wouldn't worry too much about "working" on your marriage. Sounds like you're doing a good job of that already. 
Why she might be interested in younger men . . .
It sounds like your mother was devastated when your father died. Wow! Nearly 50 years together! If they had a happy marriage, she probably misses that closeness and wants to experience that again. And, maybe she's looking for younger men, because someone much younger is not likely to die before her. That means, she wouldn't have to experience the pain of being widowed again.
My uncle died just recently. He had been married to his second wife for just two years. His first wife died of cancer five years ago. And his second wife was widowed seven years earlier. When I spoke to his wife after the funeral, she talked about how horrible it was to be widowed twice, and that she didn't want to go through that ever again. But, she also talked about how lucky she was to have experienced two wonderful marriages.
Maybe your mother is looking for the same.... she wants another wonderful love in her life, but she's afraid of being a widow again. That would be reasonable, I think. However, she definitely sounds gullible, and she's looking for love in the wrong place! Has she had any grief counseling? Maybe you can talk to her about what it is she's really looking for. People do things because they are trying to fulfill needs. They repeat behaviors because there's some sort of payoff for what they're doing. She's getting something like a "sugar rush" when she meets these men online. Briefly, her fantasy is fulfilled. But, when the truth is revealed, she's devastated again. I know I'm sounding like a Psych 101 graduate, but that's really what it sounds like to me. She keeps doing this, because she likes that sugar rush. There has to be a way to break that, and to really find a way for her to be comfortable with herself.
I'm so sorry for her pain. She must be so sad after having lost her husband.
yes, she did have talent when much younger.....
She had talent when she was still a good girl........when she still had morals and ethics before choosing her so-many-wrong-paths.
just my opinion.......
Yep - love those younger men *lol*
 And I wouldn't have it any other way.....
I'm with man 4 yrs younger. Nothing wrong with it.
a
I love younger men
they seem happier and more spontaneous! I dated one 3 years younger (no big deal), I also dated one 5 years younger. Go for it, if that is why you are asking.
I am 50! You are younger than me. How is that for positive??? nm
.
Younger smartmouth
My stepson is only 5 years old and he is so disrespectful about backtalking. But God forbid if I say anything about it because my husband will jump down my throat. He lets that child get away with murder. He never punishes him by time out or anything. I just feel like by the time he gets 11 years old, he will be horrible. So I am pretty sure that this kid's parents just do not do anything about his smart mouth just like my husband does nothing about his kid's smart mouth. I just dont' get it.
In my younger days
I did a lot of drugs.
When my kids were a bit younger
I would always walk up to school at the end of the day and walk them home. One of my daughter's friends would walk with us and nearly every day ask if she could come over to play after school. I would nearly always say, oh, I don't care. She thought that was so cool - her mom always cared and it was always NO! I say, it's their house too, they can have anyone over if we are going to be home. If they aren't embarassed at the mess, I'm not either.
24.... 10 years younger!!! nm
nm
I LOVE younger men. Seems like all the ones I like,
Glad to be a cougar!
How many years younger?
Mine is 10 and the best thing I have run across.
13 years younger and....
FABULOUS. I never thought I'd have so much in common with someone so much younger but he's turned out to be a definite keeper.
I think younger guys are the best thing around...They're definitely the best angi-aging remedy around, lol!!!
GO COUGARS!!! :)
I'm not the younger generation and I don't sew either
I'm 46 and with the exception of a button here or there, I don't sew either. I also don't iron. My mother did all of those things, it just never trickled over to me. Now, my daughter can sew a few things and her best friend has her own sewing machine and sews quite well.
My younger left at almost 30 and
I hope they do fine and can maintain their own lives outside of mine. I love my own life, I travel quite a bit, do the things I want and to me the child rearing years not half as satisfying as my life is now.
Depends on what age 20 yrs younger is (sm)
If he is early 20s, I say he would probably be temporary. If he is 30 and you're 50...it could possibly work out.
19 months younger - nm
x
I am 6.5 years younger than my DH - sm
I have a friend who was about 8 years younger, she warned me not to do it as her DH never wanted to go anywhere or so anything. My DH likes to stay home but likes to go out and do stuff too, so that is not an issue for us. My dad is 12 years older than my step-mom, so for it is working for them, will see what happens when he gets infirm. (74/62)
For you younger gals out there. That K-Fed is hysterical! sm
I just read about his party in Chicago (I ran out of work!) and they were GIVING AWAY tickets to his concert last night! He got on stage and with his pants almost to his knees started rapping that he was "single" and if any ladies wanted to be with a pimp! haha! Yeah, what -idiot- would want to be with a guy who has a 2 year old with one woman, and 2 other kids under 2 with another woman (Brittney Spearks) PLUS has another 4 or 5 year old too! What is that - 5 kids?! Hilarious.
And, to boot, he's not making any money with this rap debut and Brittney will pay him 180,000 total in spousal support. Poor guy..
I've just never in my life been embarrassed for someone after reading a story about them! Good night. He was in a VIP room in Chicago letting his "entourage" try on his many gold chains. Isn't that the funniest fricken thing you've ever heard?! Well, he was probably trying to sell them to people so he could pay his child support. Which will be plenty when he's through divorcing.
Yeah, I want to be with a pimp like that. NOT!
The younger ones tend to have more 'stamina.' If the 2 of you get
ENJOY!
When they were younger I just worked while they napped - sm
and late into the night. So maybe 3 hours during the day, then from 9-1 or 2. I had a lot more stamina then, can't do that anymore. They are in school now, work about 5-7 hours during the day now and 2-3 hours at night after dinner (8-10 or 11), squeeze it in as early as I can in the evening as DH usually makes dinner, though I dish it out and the kids and I sit down to dinner together (DH eats later). As I don't have a set schedule this works out very well for me. I plan to alter this for the summer though somewhat by still working 2-3 hours at night, but get up early @ 5 or so, and try to be done my work by 9 a.m. so I can have the days totally free to do as I please with the kids. It will be a bit tiring, and I don't have to do this every day, but it will be worth it!
My stepson is 8 months younger than me (sm)
My ex was my age. He was a flop. Not that that experience kept me from dating men my own age. It didn't, and I wasn't seeking out an older man, either.
I became friends with my current husband at work. We were both side-by-side charge nurses. We had a lot of fun together and the residents loved when we worked together. I had the extreme pleasure of seeing what a caring, considerate, and gentle person he is to people he cared for at his job. He is unbelievable.
He knew I had a daughter from my ex. I knew he had 2 grown sons, one of them a few months younger than me. It was weird at first kissing on a guy with more wrinkles than I was used to. However, the fact that I was a nurse and had a child with an ex already meant to him that I had experienced some life already. I guess that made me fair game. :) The age thing does not affect us at all, especially now. At first it took getting used to, but now it is nothing. The only thing I fear is not having someone to grow old with, but nobody knows what will happen with their life day to day.
We subsequently had 2 more little girls together. We have 3 girls to raise now. I have since become a step-grandma to a wonderful little boy. We just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. I couldn't be happier. He never thought he'd have more children, but he thinks it is absolutely incredible to do again. He says he appreciates his kids more now that he's older. Not that he doesn't appreciate his older kids, it's just different.
I went to his 30-year class reunion. He was congratulated because of his young wife. LOL
I wouldn't date anyone much younger than me. I'd really be robbing the cradle. I prefer robbing the grave with the ol' hubby now. ;) Besides, it's a lot easier when they're older and broken in than when they have to be trained to do things.
Our relationship, though, is not like the stuff portrayed on TV shows. Our relationship is normal, happy, and positive. No big deal.
I just think this younger generation just needs to be taught! sm
I am a woman in my 30s. Got married almost 10 years ago. I lived up north for a long time and married a man from the "true" south. Okay. Here I go - and I may get flamed for this, but here I go...When I lived in NY, I NEVER saw a thank-you note or even saw anyone in my family write one. Never. So, I was never "taught" that you write thank-you notes due to my upbringing.
I think it is a cultural thing. Maybe it's even a socioeconmic thing. Yes, we were very poor growing up in NY. Both my parents made around 26,000 combined with 3 children.
Fast-forward. I move down here, meet this amazing guy with a large family - most have money - lots of it - we have a huge wedding - I receive more gifts than I could even count - met people at my wedding I've never seen before in my life - the southern generosity has been overwhelming, and still is. We go on our long honeymoon and when I get home, my MIL calls and says to me, "Mrs. so and so (from the wedding shower), still hasn't received your thank-you note. Maybe you just forgot to send hers out. In any case, just thought I'd let you know! EMBARASSING! So, I pulled out my thank-you cards that came with my wedding invites and began writing thank you notes. That is where the LOVE of writing thank-you notes and just-writing-to-say-hello notes began. I LOVE doing it now. Love it. My family up north and around the country are amazed.
Here again, I was TAUGHT by my new mother-in-law, so to speak, and she did it in a very tactful manner.
Writing notes is just an amazing ministry and I love to do it. I get them printed off and personalized now with either my initial or my full name. You can get them on ebay, they will print 20 of them for you with corresponding envelopes for around 10 bucks.
Anyways, this was my experience.
My hubby gets that, too. He was younger than yours the first time.
He passed out one night at 2:00 a.m. after getting up to go to the bathroom. Scared the cr@p out of me when I heard a big crash as his head hit the countertop and then the floor. I couldn't get the bathroom door open because he had crumpled against it. I finally got the door open but he was disoriented and even his lips had gone pale. I called the ambulance and we went to the ER in the middle of the night. His blood pressure and head CT were fine. They even tested him for drugs and alcohol because they didn't believe us that we don't do those things.All of his tests came back fine, so the doc diagnosed micturition syncope. The doctor told him to sit down when he urinates at night, and also to get more rest and stay hydrated. Yeah, those were some expensive medical bills for just fainting while he went potty.
Funny, one of my kids brought that up the other day. They vaguely remember being scared at having the fire truck and ambulance at the house, and then Dad being taken to the hospital. They just didn't know why.
Isn't that cute! Looks much younger than her age! Well maintained......sm
sm
Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm
I've been married almost 12 years and have an 11 y/o and 7 y/o. My husband and I have been fighting almost constantly for the past several months, mostly about him drinking. He had a problem with pot and other substances for about 5 years and finally went back to work a little over a year ago. Ever since then, he has been drinking at least 1/3 of a large bottle of vodka every night but doesn't consider himself an alcoholic because he still goes to work every day. Any time we fight, he threatens to end the marriage because "it just isn't going to work out anyway," while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here.
Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I don't want to do this, but I feel I have no other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.
To me she looks like she was stunning in her younger days. sm
Her bone structure, her hair, her eyes. You can see remnants of what used to be.
Kinda sad.
the younger generation will be the heros
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBUKRAE2O9c
Maybe you will be wise elder, but you won't be the hero, the kids will be.
I am so glad my younger man decided
to hook up with this lady. It has been more than what I could have ever expected. He was the first guy I ever dated younger, married and never realized such a man existed. Totally in love with him 10 years later.
I wonder about older men, younger women
Look at these celebrity marriages. The men keep getting divorced and marrying young women until the men themselves get too old that they wouldn't be able to get a younger woman anymore. Most of the marriages described in this post are 2nd or 3rd marriages for these men. The women are saying they are lasting a long time but you are actually the trophy wife. If your old man husband divorced you now, he wouldn't be able to get a young woman anymore and he would be alone with no one to take care of him.
My former supervisor married a man 18 years older than she is. She took care of him during his long illness (about 10 years). When I saw her at the funeral, she took me aside and she whispered "I'm free". I knew she would be just fine!
I said already that I was much prettier and younger than my husband..nm
nm
It's trendy right now - younger men have been told (by each other) (sm)
That once women get older they are much less inhibited - which in a way is true - but for me that would be less inhibited with someone I care about and who is similar to me in age or at least body type... I dated someone 10 years younger for a couple of years and it was great. Until he decided he hadn't dated enough and wanted to be single a while and just be friends. Then later when I was dating someone else he actually asked me to see him behind the other guy's back! Because he thought it would be hot! He said he couldn't give me all of the attention I would need if it was a "real" relationship, but if I was getting part of the attention from someone else, he thought he could handle it - yuck!!!!
Men do tend to die younger, so it makes sense
to find a younger one. Mine is 4 years older, and he is aging faster because he hasn't taken care of himself. High school and college sports can take a heavy toll on a man.
|
