I always tell it like I see it...sm
Posted By: Lyndia on 2008-05-25
In Reply to: Additionally - melisa
My friend, you are being abused...emotionally abused!
I will also say that I am not sure you truly love this man. Rather, I think you love the idea of loving him and you are holding on to something that is a complete and utter lie. He lied to you, but you want his love so badly, you are lying to yourself about your love for him. He has no idea what love is.
You could say, oh well he loves his son, but that would not be so. I think that your husband believes that love is all about being adored...as in if HE is loved HE is adored and that it requires no work on his part. This is narcissistic behavior. Narcissists are too selfish to love anyone, and that includes themselves. You are filling a void for him. You are someone to cook, to clean, to do the laundry and someone whose income can be used for HIS toys.
I would tell you to get out and don't look back. Get out before it becomes more difficult. The longer you stay the harder it will be to leave, and leave you must. Leave before your self-esteem and self-worth are completely flushed down the toilet because right now, they are already doin' the swirly dance in there.
I have been an abused woman. He blamed everything on me and I took on that blame. It took me 12 long years to leave him and another 10 years to settle the divorce and child custody issues. I am still $18,000 in debt, but that is down from about $120,000 and I am seeing the end of it. To call my experience excrutiating doesn't even begin to touch it. I wish I had gotten out after 6 months...
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