I also disagree that it is never the woman's fault.
Posted By: == on 2009-05-08
In Reply to: No, NOTHING makes it the woman's fault, BUT.... - A Woman Scorned
I do not know what your circumstances are, but there are a lot of wives out there whose fault it is that their husbands leave them.
There is something I would never, never do and this is cheating with a married man.
This is downright despicable, ruining marriages.
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No, NOTHING makes it the woman's fault, BUT....
I don't think the woman has anything to do with whether a man cheats or not. Period. End of Story. Spare me the long sob story about how the woman *never put out* for her man.
That said...
If a person who has been cheated on just sits and lets nature take its course, almost always they are vindicated.
If Princess Diana had just let Charles be Charles, he would have become and STAYED the laughingstock of Britain. And she would have become Queen. (Okay, maybe not Queen, but she was then and is still an icon in Britain, and he would have never recovered from his cheating on her).
In looking at the John Edwards scandal - it's very similar. Elizabeth never did anything wrong. If she continues on that path until her death, ultimately John Edwards will probably NEVER recover politically speaking.
When you do the RIGHT thing instead of the convenient thing, you will ultimately be vindicated.
Nothing makes it the woman's fault - not even if she also cheats. sm
Two wrongs don't make a right. Men need to act more like humans and less like animals, and keep themselves under control.
I don't know, this post down below has me thinking. What are your thoughts, woman to woman. sm
If your spouse came to you and said he was having an affair, would you be more upset if it was with a male or female? For me, definitely a female! If it were male then I would think that it had absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I would be devastated if he were with another woman. Another poster below said she would be more upset if he were found with a male. What about you?
He is 100% at fault.
He agreed to park it on his property and it was stolen while on his watch. End of story. Yes, your husband perhaps should have taken care of things before he drove off for the night, BUT your BIL agreed to keep it for him. Yes, as the poster below stated, it is really no different than if he borrowed your car and it was stolen while in his possession. I would not let it go, they are plain out and out wrong. I do not understand how people sleep at night when they treat others that way, family to boot!
I truly hope you get something resolved. Good luck to you.
It's not the dog's fault
Why would you call them stupid dogs and then say you can't shoot them?? and you have a dog of your own. It's the pet owner's responsibility. The dog's don't bark just to annoy the neighbors. The owners should take responsibility or they shouldn't have dogs.
s
No....it isn't the dog's fault.
The OP was complaining of just barking. I was complaining about a lot more than just barking. My mother is 64 y/o, widowed, and suffers from MS. She has a right to be able to walk in her yard without worrying about the neighbor's dog knocking her over, barking at her, tearing out her trash, or getting under her feet and making her fall.
I understand that it isn't the dog's fault but no matter how many times you call the Sherriff or the humane society.....nothing is done. They still have the dogs and my mom still deals with it everyday. She has no rights whatsoever to keep her yard animal free and she has to live like this.
I personally feel that anyone should have a right to shoot any stray animal on their property. If pet owners aren't going to be responsible enough to keep their pets in their own yard, they have to live with the idea of someone shooting their pet. I don't like other dogs on my property. I don't allow my dog to go off of our property.
Not your fault sm
There is a program on called, "Intervention" and you may or may not get it in your area (on cable). It is a very sad but true reality show that deals with addiction. You didn't do it to him. He has this "go" factor in his brain that makes him want the drug more than anything else in the world and he will lie, cheat and steal to get it. If there is free counseling, get it or call NA and ask if there is a program you could go to yourself to learn how to deal with it. You can't go to AA for drugs unfortunately because they'll let you know right off the bat that it's for alcohol. There may be programs for multiple addictions you could attend. It all depends what tools you have wherever you live. Don't cushion his fall and don't be an enabler. I had to cut myself off from a brother I love dearly but he has to learn that I won't give him money, won't take his BS stories or anymore schemes. When I saw him last, I cried, he looked awful, but he did it to himself, the drug rules. There are many online chat rooms and I think if you Google "Recovery" or 12 step programs you may want to go in, sign in and just listen and at least get some feedback. You did not cause it and don't think for one moment you can cure it. The only one who can help your son is God and if you believe it, some power higher than himself. But he has to want it more than the drug. Intervenion may help. Don't enable him or he will reach a tragic end. Most of all, take care of yourself.
it's not all his fault
My dad is a teacher in California (I live in a different state) and has had 10 days per school year cut from his paycheck. The vacations are also longer during the school year as well. I don't understand the whole new office furniture purchase from your superintendent, but it sounds like your school system is just like everywhere else. Government-run systems/jobs have all had to make cuts, and schools seem to be the first that get screwed. All of the changes he has made probably stem from mandatory cuts he has to make to save money. Each school is going to be different how they implement them.
My husband's parents work for a government college and they are having the same problem with money. The college laid off so many people to save money. It is sad, but nothing can be done when it comes to mandatory cut backs. Hopefully things will change in the future, but it sounds like they are floundering to find ways to save money anyway the can.
hospital CEO's at fault too
Nurses not work when they are tired? Hospitals need to hire enough nurses so that won't be forced to work when they are tired- ARH nurses in our state are on strike right now fighting for this. about the Quaid babies, I agree the meds should be in totally different colored bottles.
You are saying to make up when you think not your fault?
I have done this before, a relative got very angry with me years ago and I told them if I could visit again I would never say anything to upset them again- if they said the sky was striped I would say, yes it was- that is what I had to do if I wanted to see them so I have done that- now having said that- he is upset about the fact he thinks I took his money and told me so. Why try to make amends when it would never be right in his eyes- he still feels slighted. An apology from me would not change his perspective on my having
so called cheated him out of what was due him.
Except FL has no fault divorce. Everything is 50/50.
nnnnnnnnnnnnnn
And it's not their fault you offend them.
But--this is another reason. It was very nicely explained, and yet the arguing continues. Sometimes you just need to state your opinion and move on. There are some you just won't win. Like this one--or the puppy mill one. Somtimes people just don't want to hear it, let alone hear it over and over again. Just step away from the situation.
how did i even imply it was his fault?
I was asking if it is something that can be worked out. Obviously this is my only long-term relationship. And what gave you the impression I "go out all the time". First of all I don't drink, at all. Secondly I NEVER went out until 2 years ago because he was in the Marines and I just stayed home all the time waiting for him and being worried... but you sound a lot like my mom, like if I am not married and popping out babies by the time I'm 30, I'm a total failure.
but that is not you daughters fault sm
that you had such a horrible life. I feel for you. I too had a pretty rough childhood but no way would I even think to make one of my kids pay for that. Sounds like you need some serious counseling or you are going to be one miserable lonely old lady.
I meant before now- you sound like it's my fault
I mean I have never gotten in trouble before this. Yes - I work for an extremely strict company - if you are late more than 5 minutes twice in a 30 day period, it counts as an absence. I missed one day last week for my daughter having strep; prior to that I had missed one day in 7 months due to child illness. My employer says you have to have someone else to watch your child when they are sick
And I bet the divorces weren't her fault, either.
f
It is not my fault others get offended at my opinions
x
maybe it's the post office fault.
x
I say it's her mother's fault. Supposedly she was stage mom from
!!!!
It was the OWNERS' fault for allowing the dog to run loose.
The fact that you didn't see him and ran over him was an accident. That accident wouldn't have occurred if those people had been responsible dog owners and kept him in a securely fenced yard.
woman to woman talk sm
This has nothing to do with being a christian, it has more to do with group dynamics. I have to deal with it all the time with 6 women in an in-law situation. They are narrow-minded Bible-thumping bigots.I happen to be of another "denomination" and I do attend every function of theirs, weddings, funerals, all of it, receive their communion. I have had my parents die, lost my younger sister and many things happen where they could have reciprocated, yet they will not "step foot" in my church. So where is all their faith, they certainly are not practicing the do unto others. I can relate, it is a horrible way to live. Thank God, I had psychology courses and know about group dynamics, I am in the middle of a herd mentality. I could go on forever, they even have "interventions" when someone in their family wants to marry or date someone not from their denomination. They are awful. I know your pain! It's not your imagination, they hide behind their cohesive "numbers game," one speaks and all the others agree in unison. No one has a chance against this mob. It's tough to be your own person, lots of tears. And guys think it's all in our heads - NOT! Hang in, perhaps you'll have a Divine Intervention somehow.
Kangaroo. cat woman or wonder woman?
x
On the subject of fault. Dont read if easily
If my opinion upsets someone, I think it is their "fault" (for lack of a better word) if they get upset. Everyone owns their own feelings and should not let someone else's opinion have so much power over how they feel. As far as lemmings and masses, those are generalities, a comment on society as a whole, not aimed at any one person.
I am sorry if my opinions have so much influence over others. I will try to keep my thoughts in check.
It's not the worker's fault. She has to follow the rules or be fired. sm
I've taken a lot of flack from a lot of customers, and the run-of-the-mill retail worker really has no freedom to make decisions. When the worker is caught between a yelling customer and a yelling manager, who do you think she'll listen to?
Disagree with you on this
Happened to my father and it falls under the category of elderly abuse, same as if you beat old folks up. My father had no dementia but after his spouse passing, the younger married women moved in on him. He had lots of money. A person likes attention from someone they think finds them attractive. He had plenty of friends and associates, did not spend lonely times at home, nothing like that- just thought the wonen were interested in him sexually. He gave away over $100,000.00 to 1 woman I found out after he was killed in accident - get this, going to see her!
I disagree!!!!
Frenchie willingly posed completely topless for money for a website that reportedly was also using underage girls and apparently did not have a good reputation. Antonella posed with her friends and I believe a boyfriend and they betrayed her and put her pictures on the internet behind her back. They were really not even *nude* photos. I'm not saying they're not bad but then again in today's world is there anything left that would be really shocking? I definitely disagree that this was even similar to Frenchie's situation and her playing the race card is oh so typical and sickening to me. Some things never change. The only thing Antonella is guilty of is being a lousy singer.
I disagree and here's why - sm
While I may disagree with the idea of abortion, I am also completely against someone taking away a choice that is MINE, whatever the reason may be.
I don't understand why so many people don't try to look at the bigger picture. There are many reasons why a woman might choose abortion, not just as a form of birth control.
Can you honestly say if you knew a woman or girl was raped or became pregnant by incestuous means that you would prefer to traumatize her further by forcing her to carry a baby to term? I know the baby is an innocent that didn't ask for what happens. I struggle with that thought too but... I also believe that is one less baby who would probably be neglected, abused, or worse because that same woman or girl feels pressure to keep this baby.
If you are lucky enough to have never suffered a brutal rape, you could not possibly understand. If you have and you still feel this way, you are stronger than many many many women.
Disagree with you sm
I'm not going to get into a religious war but a TRUE Christian would never dress like that!
I disagree
I was both in the military and legally drinking when I was 18. Husband, whom I met and married in the military when I was still a teen, entered when he graduated high school at 17. We did not have a problem with drinking responsibly and neither did most of our fellow soldiers at that age. In fact, most of the young soldiers just out of high school are way more responsible than the average college student years older because that responsibility and accountability is demanded of them by the military and is generally not demanded in civilian life.
People trying to take away even more responsibility/accountability by excusing bad behavior because of the "youth" of people that are legally adults are creating the problem by refusing to put the accountability for said bad behavior exactly where it belongs--on the people behaving irresponsibly, and likely on the parents for not instilling the knowledge that there are consequences for bad actions. Budweiser is not responsible for their idiocy. Jack Daniels is not responsible for their stupidity. They are.
Oh I so disagree with you
I tried and tried, did things my g'children loved but I did NOT want them playing on my company computer and my company machines, not mine but if I asked them to come out of the room then the DIL thought I was wrong because at the other g'parents home they could do everything they wanted? As a PARENT you have to instill the fact there is not just 1 set of parents, usually 2 - maternal as well as paternal and both should be able to spend time with the kids. It is terribly unfair otherwise just to be 1 sided and this is exactly what happened in my case. I had no say in my being bypassed. My DIL so entangled in her family, my side didn’t and still doesn’t count. I eventually gave up- I did not want to compete for attention.
I disagree...I think you are looking too far into this...
her children obviously don't want to go for a reason because they are crying not to go...sounds to me like something the grandmother is doing and not the mother...rememeber she asked for opinions not judgement...
I disagree
Spanking doesn't have to be abusive. It doesn't have to be done with a belt buckle, or something that will inflict undue harm.
The power of spanking is humiliation. Using your hand or a folded magazine to sting the kid's buttocks or upper back thighs is not going to scar them, physically or emotionally. What it does do is let them know their behavior is unacceptable and has consequences.
Throughout human history, the majority of people have used spanking as discipline - notice I said discipline not punishment - and I would say the human race has managed to make progress. So, spanking can't be that awful.
I was spanked 3 times in my childhood and I have never laid a hand on anyone in my life. So, the theory about spanking making the recipient into an abuser is just bunk. Tens of thousands of us were spanked as kids, and we turned out fine.
I am not advocating out of control parents beating kids within an inch of their life - but I do think a swat on the bottom isn't the end of the world for any kid.
I do wish people weren't so afraid of kids today - kids have way too much power and adults need to take it back. We're aren't doing these kids any favors by giving them the run of the place.
I could not disagree more
I see no reason whatsoever to have a girl on hormones to "manage" her for her entire life in one way or another, to me that is repression. I also disagree that being a woman causes "needless suffering." Seems like men have simply perverted the normal for monetary gain and insist on managing every miniscule aspect of our bodies. It does not take much to convince a woman that if she is okay she is an exception to the rule.
I disagree...
my husband and I each have an e-mail account with our own passwords and I am sure that if I asked, he would give me the password, but I really have no reason to read his e-mail. Don't you think that he should be able to have something of his own? I have nothing to hide in my e-mail, but have never even thought to offer up my password. Frankly, I would be offended should he ever ask for it.
Sorry, but I disagree...
That is great that you are happy and not having orgasm, but not everyone feels that way. It does not mean that is the only 'glue' in the marriage, but it is an important component to many marriages, and that's okay.
I disagree...
I think that if you lose your honor, it is a bad example for your children. I am not saying that she should not make sure that she gets some money, but it is dishonorable and bad for the children to take it all. I watched it happen and I don't think it is good for the children. Also, kids know more than you think. If you feel you are resorting to something, you are doing the wrong thing. I watched my mother act in a way that she taught me to be better than. I will never regain that respect. And it was never about us. It was about revenge. My point was that women should be careful of stooping to those levels, it happens a lot. I was not defending the husband. He might be a horrible person or he might be okay; I have no idea. The OP cannot control his actions, but she can control her own.
You can disagree all you want but if you
don’t notice either a rapid weight gain or weight loss, then you don’t really know your body. I have a scale at home, maybe you should invest in another or just do what you want with the deal about weighing. I am not going to, don’t have to but whatever floats your boat.
Disagree with you
There are many reasons why a child flies alone but that aside, what is the big deal? They are supposed to be assigned a flight attendant at that age to chaperone them. Obviously there were a bunch of incompetent people at every step of the way. I have flown alone many times as a young kid - no biggie if people are doing their jobs the way they are supposed to. The airline is absolutely at fault here.
well...I both agree and disagree...
I agree that your feelings of being attacked are valid. As a preacher, he should know better than to judge you or your family.
On the other hand though, I would not do such a display, and that is just me! I don't decorate much for Halloween, maybe a few Jack-o-lanterns, but that's about it. And only cause the kids like making them. Sounds as though your decorations are pretty elaborate, though. To each her own...have fun!!!
I am sure people with disagree with me but...sm
I think the school has told you what they can and cannot do...it is now up to YOU as her parents to make up the difference. You stated that your daughter has ADD, which in itself requires more attentional than a student without it. With 27 children in a classroom, which unfortunately is what almost all of us face with public school, the teachers just do not have the time to focus on children with special needs. If she were my child, I would put however many hours it would take at home to work with you. And if you can, go to the school and work in her classroom. Most teachers beg parents to become helpers in the classroom.
I have a 17-year-old nephew who cannot read at all but has been passed from grade to grade. His parents basically blamed the school system instead of working outside of school with him. I do not agree that he should be passed on from one grade to another, but unfortunately that is what happens to most of these kids....the schools won't flunk kids anymore because of no child left behind.
Bottom line...try every avenue open to you at home...Sylvan or private tutor or whatever is available.
I have to respectfully disagree with you on this. If it
costs him his job and his reputation, that is entirely his own fault. This may not be the first time something like this happened and if he gets away with it, it probably will not be the last time either. Who knows what it could escalate to with someone else. I would not appreciate that kind of comment made to my 24-year-old daughter and would not hesitate for one minute to report it to management. That is absolutely and completely unacceptable from anyone for any reason. He admitted he thought she was pretty and was maybe overly friendly, so, obviously he knows he's wrong and should suffer the repercussions from his inappropriate behavior. 
Disagree on aspirin
We used to prescribe Ascripton all the time to dogs with arthritis. My dog has been on one to two a day for several years now. Also my neighbors dog has been on aspirin for his arthritis. Just like people you have to watch for bleeding or hemorrhage but when she had a benign growth removed last August her blood work was better than that of an 8 year old dog. Again you have to watch for the signs of GI bleeding but it is not as potentially dangerous as the NSAID's are to the liver. Read about those side effects. I have been given hand outs on the use of aspirin by several vet's. So again -- I disagree with you.
yes..we can agree to disagree...sm
I will always take an animal's side over a humans. They cannot defend themselves. I was not judging YOU personally and you did not need to explain yourself to me. I never asked that you do. I was addressing *craters* to those that choose that over spending the time to properly train. I will argue this point no more, and I am sure you will be happy with that. you are just wrong too. have a good evening.
Others may disagree with me, but since it is cooked
I think it would be fine.
Agree or disagree
An Associates Degree isn't worth the paper its printed on. Agree or disagree?
There was lunchtime conversation about this today. One person said an Associates degree is useless because it won't help you get a better job than just having a GED or Diploma. Not worth the paper its printed on.
Another said a 2 year degree is a total waste of money. You save a lot of money by choosing a 4 year college and totally bypassing a 2 year program altogether.
Another said a batchelors degree is losing its value now & unless you have a Master's you can't get too far in any field.
Of course a masters degree would be better to have than an associates & a PHD would be even better, but doesn't an associates degree still have meaning? What do you think?
I agree and disagree....I think and would
love to see women 40 and over on VS. To see these children in ads is disheartening. Friends and I have taken polls - young people in VS with older women or just the young ones. Everyone said older women too. Older women are more sexier, confident, funny, secure, sexual and know what they want. The young ones are insecure, money hungry, have no idea what a relatinship is, and lastly, do not know about life and that life is not fun. It is hard and you have to give in order to receive. It is not all about good looks and a good body!!!
I disagree with the other poster
While forgiveness is divine, forgetting is just plain dumb. I would not let this incident go by without discussing it with the mother of the daughter as well as the teacher and the school principal. Personal space or not, that girl had no right to put her hands on your son. She was not defending herself. She was not in harms' way. If she gets away with this now, it will only continue. In public school, this kind of thing would be handled by suspension of the girl. Boy or girl, big or small, every child has the right to feel safe in school. That's one of the fundamental rights of all children. See to it that this private school enforces it. Only you can make them accountable.
I realize how angry you must be right now, but hopefully by posting this and sleeping on it tonight, you'll be able to compose yourself enough to handle this maturely.
I disagree with that old adage...
My mother remarried when I was 7 and my brother 12. My stepfather brought four kids into the family ages 5, 7, 9 and 12. Back in those days (1967) we respected people and had manners. We had problems at first but quickly became a blended family of 8. Perhaps because my parents sat us down before they married and explained that neither parent was taking the place of the biological parent.
We are all now in our late 40's to 50's and see each other on a daily basis. My brother remarried and adopted his stepdaughter. I do not think of my brothers and sisters as "step" and I call my stepfather dad and he always referred to me as his daughter - not his stepdaughter.
Bottom line, blood is not thicker than water unless you want it to be.
I have to disagree with some of these points
I do know that my natural gas bill, which is what I would be heating with, was WAY more than my electric bill. So I totally disagree with the statement that gas central heat is cheaper. My last heating bill 3 years ago (which only included gas) was $450 for one month.
What you posted says it uses .12 cph, which would equal approx $90 for 30 days, I could put 5 of them in my home before I reached my last gas bill!
Is this for everyone, no. Should it be used as a constant source of heat, probably not for most households (some single people might get away with it).
Really the only thing I saw in the article you posted against this heater was the cost of the heater. I am willing to pay that because I happen to want something that looks nice. This has a 30-day money back guarantee and a one year warranty.
Where I live anything that you can do to turn the thermostat down, if you use gas, will save you money. I need to heat my house 24/7 for about 7 months out of the year, if I had to pay for natural gas I don't know what I would do.
Heartily disagree with some of those...
I love the post office. For 42 cents, they will take my card or letter all the way across the US, to Alaska or Hawaii! I think it's the greatest bargain going. (And, no, I don't know anyone who works for the post office.)
Secondly, I would NEVER give up my land line on my telephone. Try dealing with a few conversations getting choppy and incomprehensible on a cell. Cell phones have their place, but their quality is pretty poor compared to that line stretched on the poles.
While I disagree with you... I am curious
What "chemical change" do you think it causes in their bodies? I have a bachelor's degree in Animal Science, which is mostly production, and I know that withdrawal periods on growth hormones are very long. Most cattle would get their last ear implant at 3 months of age. We generally butcher at 2 years of age. They are moved from grass to grain slowly and the change that it produces is in the microbial content of their stomachs, which is something that we do not eat. Since ruminants digest with the aid of microbes, you cannot just move them straight to grain because they cannot process it. The muscle stays the same chemically. The reason for grain finished beef is that consumers pay more money for a higher intramuscular fat content. This is what makes your steak juicy. All beef (grass fed or otherwise) has extramuscular fat trimmed to 1/4" thickness. It is only the marbling that changes from grade to grade. Personally, I am convinced that most foods are good for you, if not taken to excess. Ruminants are the only natural source of B-complex vitamins, as their bodies produce them and ours do not. You can take a vitamin, but it is usually made from beef. Corn finished beef. The only reason for corn finishing versus raising them on corn to start with is that corn is very expensive. Fat is the most expensive part of any animal's diet, so finishing is cost effective.
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