I also agree her children's safety comes first n/m
Posted By: QA girl on 2008-01-04
In Reply to: IME, people don't feel sorry for fat people either - tnmt
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I have 3 children, but I agree with your post 100%
nm
I agree. My children were both bottlefed.
My nieces were both breastfed. They are very clingy to their parents, shy, and do not do very well in school. They also were sick a lot when they were babies. They still get sick a lot now and they are both in school. I thought it was funny how the first one got fed real food grinded up and the second one got fed baby food from the jar. Boy did my SIL get lazy!!!!! Too much work grinding that food up and freezing. I fed my kids from a bottle and I fed them baby food until the started growing teeth. They got soft regular food from about 8 months on both of them. My nieces only like to eat bread and candy!!!! GO FIGURE, they were breastfed!!!! JMO.
Agree. I think some homeschooled children
are the brightest. The author of Eragon....he wrote that at age 14 after graduating. He was homeschooled. It absolutely amazed me to think that I child could write that!
I agree with letting him go...if there are no children involved (sm)
and you are still young, get out now while you can. Don't wait like I did. I was married to someone very similar for 15 years and finally separated, but now I am older and I have two children who rely on me. I would much rather have left him early on, found someone new, and have children with a stable home.
Safety first and she is related to you
You have to put fears of rejection and people's reactions aside and put the safety of the child first. I would definitely want to know!!! On the other hand, I see people who live near me who don't watch their kids. I saw girls going in the woods every day at age 13 and smoking and drinking but the mothers of these kids probably actually know about it or don't care. If you think your sister would care, you better hurry up!!! Just tell her you don't know if it's true but you heard something disturbing and you think it's a safety issue otherwise you would mind your own business. If the kid gets hurt will you be sorry you minded your own business. Somebody better tell me if anything like that is going on . I'd be thanking you. But I do watch my teens.
Help is a safety net you have paid for sm
Food stamps are a safety net we all pay for, all forms of public assistance are things we have been paying for all along. TAKE the help you need! Do move closer to family if you possibly can.
I have been in your shoes myself. I lost my home to foreclosure 4 years ago because of having a near-fatal drug interaction and losing my job of nearly 7 years. I made a couple of moves and finally ended up in a small town out of state from where I had lived for 30 years. I lived with a close friend for about 9 months and had the opportunity to buy a mobile home for $3000. The people I bought it from said I could make payments and I was able to pay it off in 5 months. It needed a lot of work and it has gotten it, most of which I have done myself. This project really helped me to regain parts of myself I had lost. It gave me a reason to get up and get going on my days off. I turned this ugly old thing into a lovely, comfortable home I cherish. I have lost about 50-60 lbs since living here and I have brought the idea of vastly cutting expenses in line with making more money. The end result is that I am very well off financially, better than in my entire life.
DO get medication to help you if you can. I didn't have medication to help because I am allergic to every psychotropic in existence. I did this by pulling myself up by the boot straps, but if I could have had help, I would have. There IS a brighter future out there. You CAN have that brighter future because you DESERVE IT. That said, no one expects you to get there alone!!!
Don't be embarrassed to ask and receive help. You will be able to help others later. Years ago, when my kids were young, I was a single parent, no support and it was Christmas time. My kids didn't even have adequate clothing or food. A neighbor I hardly knew handed me a Christmas card. Inside was a $100 gift card to K-Mart. She said that many years before that, she had been in my shoes and someone had given her $100 one Christmas, she was now paying this forward to me. The only provision was that I return this favor when I could, and that I bought something for myself too because I deserve nice things for my hard work. It was a turning point for me. I have been more of a giver since. Although I could have paid this back last year, I didn't know anyone who would appropriately benefit. This year, I do and I had to tell her that I was going to do this and why. She cried and felt embarrassed because, she said, she was usually in the position to give and it hurt a little to receive. I reminded her that she was GIVING me the gift of giving with pleasure.
Others are going to give to you with pleasure, love, friendship and concern for your well being. TAKE IT. One day you'll post back here about how good things are and I'll want to hear it.
Just make sure you have the safety hinges on it so a kid can't get
s
Safety check - Watchdog site.
Map that lets you check for sex offenders in your neck of the woods. See pictures, addresses in some areas.
http://www.familywatchdog.us/
Mary, I offer my prayers for the safety of your sons. SM
I thought brothers could not be in battle zones at the same time. Did they choose to?
Start with safety, then energy efficiency, then the pretty stuff.
We live in a house built in 1915, and we bought it in 1985. It was in a very, very sad state. We're still working on it, and are even re-doing things we fixed years ago. Firstly, make sure that everything is safe. Could the wiring cause a fire? Fix that for sure! How about the plumbing, roofing, gutters, all the things that can cause water damage when in disrepair. Water damage is a really awful thing. If all of that is ok, try to save some money with some energy efficient things. We have more than 50 windows in our house, and bit by bit we've replaced most of them. I love the tilt-in, easy-to-clean new windows that are also energy efficient. We also replaced our boiler. (We have hot water heat in the winter and elaborate, cast iron radiators from the 1920s.) That saved us lots of money over the long run. Same with the hot water heater. (We don't have a/c.)
For the fun stuff, I used to love going to Lowe's, Home Depot, etc, and just walk around to get some ideas. They also sell really nice design books. And then, there's t.v. Check out home and garden network, style, and DIY networks. They all have websites. Google the style of design that you like and see what nice ideas you can find. The computer makes research so easy!
Enjoy!
Food safety question - left chicken in oven overnight (sm)
I baked two pans of chicken last night and one of them I forgot and left in the oven all night. It has not been touched or opened since being cooked. If I reheat it today do you think it is ok to eat or would you be afraid of food poisoning???
Anyone else going to Cancun for Spring Break and concerned about current safety concerns
We're all set to go to Cancun for Spring Break and then we hear all of this on the news about people being careful in Mexico because of the drug cartel activities and killings etc. Does this even involve Cancun or is it just the border places. The Spring Breakers are being warned about going so it makes me wonder if it is just the borders as most Spring Breakers do not go to the border towns. Does anyone have anymore information. I have a good friend who met her husband in Mexico, has crossed the borders etc and she said going to Mexico isnt worth risking your life because they hate Americans. Yikes.. I don't know whether to go or not or if I'm just being paranoid now.
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
What an awesome post! I agree, agree, agree completely with you.
 You are right on the money in my book! 
she said *he definitely does not want more children*
but she said that HE definitely does not want anymore children...that's what the OP said so I responded based on that *fact*.... 
I am so sorry!! I have 4 children myself
30, 28, 24 and 17 - and can honestly say that we have gone through periods like this before - it is usally something really silly that gets all blown up - a misunderstanding, etc. Enjoy your birthday to its fullest - send a gift/card to your granddaughter as you normally would and go about your business with no bitterness - it will all work out - they will be back to you soon - really! :)
Yes, and then only if there are no children.
Sorry, but tobacco is a dastardly substance that people need protection from IMO.
Does she have children. If so, what are
xx
I have 2 children of my own,
starting with K. This is my sil who is having the baby and she has 3 children already and has run out of K names. So, I thought I would give her a hand. Thanks for your suggestions!! I am passing them on.
All children are different
it seems to me you keep comparing your 19-year-old to your 21-year-old. Since they are two separate people, they should be treated as such. Times are a changing. I'm sure it does worry you, but if she's off to college, she is probably staying out late there too.
both my children do just that and they are
both well-rounded, well-behaved, straight A students. Children have to live in this world and we as parents have to love and teach them. I know I am not the exception.
Whether having children or not is, without SM
question,your own choice, but you come across as very cynical. Perhaps you are watching too much TV or listening to talk radio. Things are not that bad. Oh sure, there is too much media attention given to Britney Spears, but most young girls, with the proper guidance, don't want to be her. There is a challange to motherhood, but most of us meet it very well.
Children & TV
How many hours a day/week do you let your children watch TV? Do they have TV's in their room? If so how do you monitor (or do you monitor) what they watch?
Have you ever banned certain shows from your house? What do you think about all those "sassy" shows on Nickelodean and Cartoon Network, like "Zach and Cody," or "Drake and Josh" or "Hannah Montana?"
I'm thinking of changing the TV rules and want to know what you all do with your kids.
Is this only to children that you know and
the parents know who the treat is from. We used to give out special home-made treats but always with a note saying who it was from. Now our neighborhood has grown so much we have a lot of children that don't live in the area. I don't want to give out something to someone and then their parents not let them eat it.
23 and 25 and like your children
my of my kids friends have older parents. All the kids like to hang out at our house because we "seem so much cooler" than their parents. Believe me, nothing goes on in this house that shouldn't. We just always have lots of junk food in the freezer, don't mind the music up loud, and love to just sit and chat with the kids. Last night one of my son's friends was picking him up to go to youth and she was early so we talked while he got ready. When it was time to go she said she didn't want to leave. It was really sweet.
Do you have children? LOL! sm
Meant that becasue I have a friend that says she has "brain damage cuz she has kids". I have a book that is titled "If questions for the soul". Not all questions are religious but most are. I had another one that was the same but not religious ? and loaned it to a friend. We often have these books in the car on family road trips. Really gets the family talking.
My children, now 26 and 25, are right there with yours. My
son works in retail (grocery store) and buys his jeans to wear to work at the thrift store. None of us mind wearing thrift store clothes. We tend to shop clearance racks and sales. They are not particular about the brand of clothing they wear (I never was either) so long as they fit and are comfortable. I'm really glad mine don't feel the need to compete with everybody else and spend everything they make trying to keep up with others. 
Since I do not know you or your children, sm
I can not tell you the effects it will have on them--but, do not think for a minute they do not know about and cannot feel the stress and fear you are dealing with.
For me, it was best for me and my children to have a peaceful, happy home than to live one more day like we had been. This is a personal choice and for us, I made the right one. Good luck to you.
you know your children and how
they are prone to react (ie, 'you turned out okay'). I never lied to my kids, but only shared my experiences when I thought it would add to their education about a subject, and of course was age appropriate. For example, about drugs, they know what i think about pot/weed, but they don't know anything else i may have tried. Sometimes personal experience gives validity to the discussion, but i sure wouldn't make it a confessional.
You ask if she has children, will tell you what she has
She has a man who is likely bisexual but then sounds like a closeted gay to me, marrying for his own reasons, a person who is refusing her sexually, probably getting his kicks elsewhere (as in the gay sex line and possibly meeting other guys and having affairs on her.) I would not care if I had 20 kids, there is not that much "love" in the world for me to stay and hope to have a relationship? Not this woman. I do not want to risk my life. I heard the saying for years- where there's smoke, there's fire- so much smoke around this guy he could set his own bonfire.
I don't have children - but
Let me start by saying I do not have children (but do have neices and nephews). Second...my language itself is well lets just say I shocked my mom quite a few times. Bad language just happens to be part of our everyday conversation (IN THE HOUSE)- mostly as we scream at the TV watching the news about politics. :-) We don't talk like that outside and certainly not around children. I think its disgusting. Our neighbors across the street talk to their children exactly like what you wrote above. Except their words were "get your f'n a** in the house" and "you give me that sh*t again and I'll beat your a**" So they aren't swearing as if they were talking about other people, they are swearing at their kids. They are just a couple of pigs! Just sounds very very low class. My husband and I said if you talk to your children like that how are they going to be respectful as they grow (mind you we have no experience whatsoever raising kids, but we would never talk like that to our kids if we had any).
Yes I have children
Apparently you did not read my whole post.
Even little children need to feel they have some control over their lives ... like letting them pick between two different outfits for school, rather than telling them what they are wearing.
A safe and fair compromise is not a bad thing. The daughter will have to choose if she wants to cooperate or not. If she will not, there there is only so much you can do and she will have to experience the consequences.
Just because she has started handling her desire for independence in a not-so-great way does not mean she cannot do things differently after receiving more information and some thought. You have to allow teens the room to make smarter decisions along the way ... people DO learn and grow. That's the plan anyway. :)
I think I have to ban my mom from seeing my children (sm)
She lives 500 miles from us and sees them about twice a year usually, but every single time, she says inappropriate things around them. I end up asking her to please not tell them things like that and she gets angry at me and barely says anything for the rest of her visit. Yet the next time she sees them, it is the same thing all over again. It is as if she doesn't have a filter that tells her what to say and what not to say, and she talks incessantly. She talks about people who made her mad 30 years ago and what they did and she says it in a mean, angry voice and goes on and on. She talks about sexual things in front of them. She talks about ghosts and demons and how she has seen them and how the world is about to end, and on and on. Scaring them and also telling them things they shouldn't know. She started talking yesterday about my teenage nephew being propositioned by one of his friends who had decided he was gay....saying the boy asked him to "take his clothes off and do something". My 8 year old daughter started crying and told my mom it made her "feel weird" to hear that kind of stuff and to please not tell her anything else like that. My daughter knows what gay is but she doesn't understand why someone would want someone else to take their clothes off and she doesn't need to right now! Anyway, my mom went home last night but the kids are still asking once again about demons and ghosts and everything else. I love my mother but I am thinking from now on, I will go visit her by myself and not have her come here at all, and not let her see my kids until they are much older. Is this bad?
Boy men are such children - sm
my DH is a j*e*r*k like that too sometimes. He refuses to stay at my dad's house because he re-married so quickly after my mom died. (he wants to stay in hotel--which is very expensive where they live--....though we have not done it yet because as yet he has refused to go, so I go w/o him and the kids and I have lots of fun--he did go once 2 years ago though he made us stay at a friends apartment, very silly). There is more to it than that but that is a big part of it, and he thinks my stepmom's family thinks he is a loser. He is hung up on what people think about him and imagines slights, looks, etc. all the time, very hard to live with. But he know I will leave him in the dust and do what I want as he is acting like a 2-year-old. I would just go and not worry about him acting like a baby. If you stay home with him you will be mad, resent him for making you miss out spending time with your mom (which you will regret if something happened to her any time soon), and probably have a boring day at home while he watched football all day and you cook or twiddle your thumbs. He will probably never be the bigger person and bite his tongue and go, though he should. Men really are babies though at times.
Yea me and him have no children but
he does have a child of his own from a previous relationship. But his son does not like me and has nothing to do with me so I don't consider him of my child. He doesn't speak to me. I won't even get started on those issues.
I have 2 children. The first, a boy,
natural birth, lasted 12 hours, was very painful for me, at the end I was so weak - when I started out with my pregnancy I was underweight - that they had to inject me something that made my final contractions stronger.
The second, a girl, epidural. By far easier, but took also 12 hours. Most important is to get a gynecologist who has lots of experience with epidural deliveries. After the delivery I had in some trouble, I really felt bad until my system got rid of the anesthetic.
If I had to do it a 3rd time, I would definitely choose the epidural.
She would not get the children, not next of kin
even if put in will. I saw a picture of her and she looks strange herself, doesn’t she?
Happy Children
You don't know me or my children so you can't have any idea if they are happy or not.
And they are, very happy. They don't complain, they do what is needed and they have their activities, work, school, etc. They have great social lives and live life very fully, but with the expectation that things are done a certain way and if they aren't,there are reperucussions.
See my post above in a new thread, if you expect little, you get litte. It's that simple.
How is them staying together better for the children?
It would have been best for the children if these too goofs had used effective birth control and not brought innocent people into the mix, but since they did the best thing for those kids is to get K-Fed out of their lives as much as possible and hopefully Britney has the sense to hire a good nanny because she's no prize either.
I say mandatory sterilization is a great idea for these two clueless, selfish, immature, irresponsible people who had no business reproducing.
I don't have "kids" I have children
My children are goats, please don't call them "kids". Also, I never "whipped out a tit" as was posted earlier, I breast fed. My children weaned around 3 years old. The child on the plane was 22 months - just a bit shy of 3. Again, if you keep your face out of my breasts, you won't be able to see them.
meant to say other children not other other. nm
x
What about her 2 small children?
That is what really bugs me about her and her behavior. What kind of role model is this for her children?? Just irks me to death what she has been doing. I do not care that she has a nanny or someone watching those kids. Why did she have them????? if all she wanted to do was party and act like a spoiled brat?
I have had 11 pregnancies have two children....sm
There really is nothing anyone can say to you to offer you comfort...the words do mean something but it is a pain unlike any other I have ever had to endure....but I do believe God has a plan for everything, though I am not able to understand it. I can still feel the pain everytime someone around me would become pregnant and I would have to put on my "happy" face for them (and I was truly happy for them) and then go home and fall into my husband's arm and cry my heart out not understanding why....most of my miscarriages were within the first trimester and there was never any reason found...hormones always checked out....it just happened. Don't blame yourself and hold tight to your husband!
Then they need to pay for their own children, drugs,
alchol, whatever they want to do. Pay your own way, I have no problem with that.
I have heard children
"bark" at people! you can't control the outside world once again!
Children in restaurants
Changing the subject here - Jennifer, you are so right. Children in nice restaurants acting out, with their parents ignoring them so they can enjoy THEIR meals, is one of my pet peeves. From the looks I observe on other people's faces, I would guess that a lot of people feel this way. When we go to Denny's, we expect this. However, when my husband takes me to a really nice restaurant for a relaxing meal, that is the last thing we want to see or hear!
especially in front of children
Once I was waiting of food at Taco Bell and a girl was talking to an employee and bragging about how when she worked in another restaurant she and her co-workers stole so much "sh*t" over and continued to repeat the word as well a further other words my son didn't need to hear. Finally I said "Please, he is only 9, can you talk about something else. She did shut up after that.
My children were not breast fed and
incredible stable and social. They are both straight A students and are very well-rounded. Breast milk does many things, but it doesn't make a child perfect.
Hiring your own children
Does any one know where I can get information on the laws of hiring your own child to work for you?
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