I agree with you on that. I saw it for myself when my niece married. SM
Posted By: My humble opinion on 2007-11-08
In Reply to: I think sm - hmmm
Her husband's sister just automatically developed an additude toward my niece, who is very quiet and very nice and could not be a better wife and mother. The sister was actually jealous of my niece and actually made comments about how no one would have ever been good enough for her "Joey." My niece was good to his family whenever they visited (they lived out of state) but finally told her husband that she would prefer to stay at his mom's house when they visited, even though the house was smaller. She was tired of the cold shoulder she got at ther sister's house. I saw it with my own eyes. It truly can happen for no reason whatsoever. The rest of the family loves my niece.
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Agree. I am not married but if I was I would
never allow my spouse to treat any of my family members like that. It is just wrong.
If I had a spouse who was acting like that I would probably try to find out what the problem was and possibly try to get things worked out so that there would be harmony. But if that was not possible I would expect at the very least that when we were with family he would be cordial and pleasant and keep his negative bs to himself.
I agree totally this this post, though I have never been married,
and you should not have to disrupt their lives anymore than necessary by finding a new place to live, etc. Though from the sound of it, you dont like where you live and he does, but I would stay put like this poster suggests.
I agree. Aren't you married adults?...
This is your husband, not your father. Having been in a relationship something like this in the very distant past I can tell you that you need to get rid of this jerk. Why do women put up with this garbage from their husbands or boyfriends? What advice would you give to a daughter or friend if she was in the same situation?
niece
Oh yeah, she may be mad at you now but just look at it this way in the future she will look back and be very thankful that you stepped in! Don't let yourself be talked into not mentioning it and keeping quite. This could end up being her life you are talking about here!
One niece was an MT
for a physical therapy place until it went out of business. She was making a lot of money but only knows physical therapy stuff. Two other nieces have talked to me about it, but one is not motivated enough to work at home unsupervised. The other niece recently had to quit her job in graphic design to stay home with her 1 year old son who has been diagnosed with juvenile diabetes.
I wish my niece could know you
She needs to develop a backbone and realize there is life after a "control freak", abusive, alcoholic, drug dependent jerk!!!! You go, girl - so glad you found a millionaire - Does he have a brother between 48-55? I never know when my circumstances may change. Love my husband, but you never know - he's lots older than me - I have to be prepared, ya know? Next time, I want nice, fun and definitely rich, so I can do this job only if I want to, not to pay the bills.
my niece
You can tell them not to be like my niece who is going to be 14 in about a week. She is a young lady now. She does not bathe, brush her hair, wear deodorant, or brush her teeth. She has now gotten over 13 cavities and will be spending the next sets of mondays at the dentist getting teeth fixed. She also has terrible gum disease. I have tried talks but she is not my child. She does not live with me so it is hard for her to listen to her mother. Her mother really isn't much better. Instead of washing clothes, when she was younger, she would just take her to a thrift store and buy whatever they had. Tight clothes, too small, too big or whatever. Tell them they don't want to be the stinky kid with dirty clothes, hair, teeth that are crusty and bleeding, with clothes on like that. We now call it "don't be a morgan" to my 12 year old who does not want to brush his teeth or retainer, mostly because he does not rinse the retainer off enough and it tastes funny. HA.
your niece
What a GORGEOUS baby!!
You certainly are blessed, and your sister is blessed to have a sister as kind-hearted as you to have come stay with her!
Merry, merry Christmas!
My niece
the love of my life! doing this right here! holding her as much as I can!!!
PS i understand about your cat though... before i moved closer to be with my niece, my dogs would always make me happy
My sister and niece
are really cat people, too. They are really funny. My sister used to have one, Luke, a big black cat wearing a texedo, who would every year without fail stalk a wooden Christmas elf we set out, glare at it for a minute or two, then take that giant paw and give a big swipe and knock it to the floor. Every year, same elf, same reaction. What a gem! We laughed til we cried! Thanks again. I am meeting a friend tonight for dinner, and her two cats are the love of her life!
Need advice on niece
My sister has a daughter, 7, with some behavioral and speech problems. In school today the teacher asked her to "hurry up" and my niece grumbled and gave a look. Apparently, on the bus she told her classmates that she was going to "put a bomb in Miss _____'s milk." Those students in turn told the teacher. Teacher responded by telling niece it was inappropriate and that she was spending time with the principal tomorrow. My sister is at a loss on how to approach my niece about this. She is kinda of jaded when it comes to this particular daughter, thinking she's just fine, but this niece has always been violent. How should she approach her daughter (in 1st grade) in this situation?
TIA!
How often do you see your niece/nephews
My brother-in-law and sister-in-law moved back to this state recently after being gone for many years. They have 2 teenagers. All 4 are living with grandparents right now, most probably indefinitely but that's a whole other story. My question is how often do your niece/nephews spend the night at your house? Mine are also out of state so it is hard to say what it would be from that side. I just feel like after having little family here for so many years I am now on family overload. These kids want to stay and be with us all the time. Granted, I understand they have no friends bc they aren't in school yet and they like us more than gma/gpa and their own parents but I rarely say no bc I don't want to be the bad guy but I like my piece and quiet! and of course I like less mess to clean up. not to mention teenagers are expensive. So what's the average out there? Once, twice a month?
My niece recomended something to me that
WORKS AND IMMEDIATELY!!!!! She told me last year and I kept using other things and a few weeks ago bought it and she nailed it!!!
GOLD BOND! 
I got the Medicated, but my sister got regular and she says the same thing. THIS STUFF WORKS. The medicated is wonderful because it instantly cools the skin and NO MORE ITCH. It is menthol, and therefore would not use it on face or around the eyes, but it has STOPPED the unrelenting itch of legs and arms for me!
My niece died from
obstructive sleep apnea at 37. I did not see at my father's funeral. I was not called when she died. My brother's wife called my first cousin and he passed the news on to his mother (my maternal aunt) and maternal aunt called me. I had no idea (being as my brother did not speak nor want me in their lives) that the niece had gone thru so much. My aunt and I went to the funeral home and funeral and the mother told me about what kind of life she had, drugs, alcohol, prison - yes prison. No one ever told me and this was about 3 times she was in prison. I never knew anything about these kids coming up. The mother told me the niece did not have insurance, could not afford CPAP. I would have bought that had I known but like I said, brother made the decision to NOT have me around and I went along with his wants. The only heirs would be my brother's children, not his wife, not ever. I am sorry you do not tend to understand this but this is the case. In the years since 1973 no one from that family called until nephew in jail in maybe 1986 or 1987. I never heard my name called by Aunt on the first part of it. Only sibling I had. I have complete peace of mind and sleep like a baby. After my brother died with his children being 4 and 6, his wife could have reached out to me then, did not happen. All water under the bridge, long time ago.
Oh and the model is my niece....sm
But she is like my own. I have kept her a lot since she was 5 weeks old. Sis-in-law is single and when she would date I would keep her. The child's dad is a loser. He walked away when sis-in-law got pregnant and hasn't seen Addie since she was an infant and doesn't want to even though he lives a few miles away. So I say she is better off without him.
Praying for your niece and family....
Lost my dad to this a year ago, about 5 years after being diagnosed. Blessings and strength to your family.
RE: Thanks everyone for your replies. I have forwarded them on to my niece who is the one (sm)
who had the positive test. She is only 21 and this is her first pregnancy. All your replies are greatly appreciated!! Thank you!
I'm sorry to hear about your niece, Lilly
I'll keep her in my prayers.
It is totally ridiculous, my niece just went to hers
and got her dress and all the accessories at David's Bridal, it was more like 500.00 or so. That's not including the extra cash she needed to go out afterwards to *Friday's*. They are 14 years old! AND then they expect these Sweet 16 parties? LOL Well, if the parents do it, they're to blame. I don't really know if it's actually for the kid or just to *keep up with the Joneses* or to try to impress or what it is but it is getting out of hand now. We had none of that stuff growing up. I think our parents were smarter than that and didn't put themselves in DEEP DEBT with credit cards etc. So at least we'll be getting inheritances. These kids will be crying down the road that their parents spent theirs! Oh well ;) LOL
Talk to niece not your sister
Make this an oppotunity to bond with your niece. Don't tell her who told you, just talk to her alone and in a nonconfronting manner. Her sexuality is none of anyones business, teens have sex its been happening for 100s of years. She needs to know you are concerned about her health (pregnancy happens and lives change and things usually work out okay, but STDs can kill and infect more than just her. Offer to take her to a clinic to get tested and encourage that if she is going to be active then she needs to be on birth control plus a barrier method for her safety and her partners' safety. I would also talk to her about the drinking any other substance use that , may be going on. Offer her your ear to listen to her need to fit in, which is probably what is going on. She will hate you if you go to her mom,try talking to your niece first. See if she wants to go out for some girl time, shopping at the mall and out to lunch or something. Car rides are a great opportunity to talk and bond with nieces, daughters, etc..., and she can't storm out of the car if she gets upset.
That's what I told Lisa, my niece. She was in
disbelief. What really hurts is that her little girl was with her, and there is nothing in the world more important to her little girl than her "kitties." She carries them around and surrounds them with stuffed animals and is turning into a wonderful pet person. I am just so happy about that! I don't always approve of kids having pets, especially when very, very young. My niece waited until her daughter was of the age and understanding of respecting them until they went to the shelter, then back later for a second one after her little one kept asking for another! What a happy home for the cats! They found the pot at the end of the rainbow with the two of them! LOL!!! 
niece and restaurant -- are those right? can't get 'em
just hate that. i've added those to my Expander so they correct themselves... i know there's more ...
I married the same man 3 times and still married to him.
Together for almost 29 years now. 
My 13 y.o. niece has just been dx with Grave's disease. Does anyone here have any info or sm
advice on what I can tell my brother about this? They are such a precious family. Brother visibly upset over this because he has been disciplining her for behavioral problems, etc., when all along it's been here thyroid. They want to do radiation right away to help shrink it? Or possibly remove thyroid altogether. She is so pretty. I spent the summer with them and yes, she did act diff. from other 13 year olds, looked very developed for her age (to me), and her eyes weren't bulging to me. I'm so glad they caught it today. It sounded like she was in the early stages of shock with fever, shakiness, etc.
Anyone with experience in this? Thank you so much.
Lucky you! My niece has a red Australian Cattle Dog
and she is adorable. Name is Reggie. She was taught to ring a bell when she needed to go out and learned to do so in 2 days! She herds everyone when they are in the pool and my niece must actually stop her or she gets blisters on her little feet and is worn out! They are incredible. I know some people refer to them as Heelers as well, maybe the same thing or maybe a tad different. In any event, what a great dog!!
I am in Bluefield, VA. My niece is in her first year at Marshall. nm
!
That is so cute! My niece's little girl cracks me up, too. She
just painted a picture for me that she has been working on for quite some time. I went over on Saturday night and she had me close my eyes for the unveiling. It is adorable. She made a yellow background because she knows it is my favorite color. They are so precious, aren't they?
She is gorgeous, and a twin to my niece's beautiful cat, Nina! NM
XX
Niece died with sleep apnea, husband has
I know how dangerous- the niece was 39. Hubs also wears the mask every single night. He and I both know well about this. He has a brother who absolutely needs, had wreck driving in the daytime, somnolent but cannot tell some people.
Good grief, we didn't even go to either of my niece's graduations
and they both live here in our town. We love them both dearly and are very close to them but they both said it didn't bother them. They go to different high schools and there is limited seating at one of them. Each graduate only gets 7 tickets and after parents, grandparents, and siblings we really couldn't go. We did go their grad parties and they were more excited about what was in their card anyway. LOL Your husband needs to let his sister know that he plans to have a vacation with his entire family, so it is either go see them a week later, or go wherever you choose.
Just bought Jonas Brothers Tickets for 12 yo niece
Her and 2 of her friends. Should be interesting. LOL. Don't forget Bobby Sherman in that group.
The bell is a great idea! My niece's cattle dog learned to SM
ring the bell in 2 days and has done it ever since. It is adorable. If no one lets her out right away she looks around and takes that leg and swings it and hits it the second time. It is a wonderful idea.
I have been asked to handle the bridal shower for my niece's wedding and I need ideas!
My niece is 18 and getting married very young, but not getting married because she "has" to, if you know what I mean. However, the maid of honor is my other niece who is 17 and not in a position to plan and pay for a bridal shower and so I've been asked to plan and then co-host the shower with my neice, the maid of honor for my niece, the bride. Confused yet?
And the wedding is in August! So I need to decide on a theme, location, and get invitations out by July. I want to do something unique and fun, but right now I can't seem to work up a unique idea to save my life! Help!
What an awesome post! I agree, agree, agree completely with you.
 You are right on the money in my book! 
My niece had a Yorkie, the love of her life! We all loved her so. Lots of love in store for you.
XX
Married?
I get the idea this guy might possibly be married and living with his wife in another city. If you continue to see him, 2 months is no time to clamp down on him to ask him about where the relationship is going. You sound as if the situation desperate. If not married on his part (I probably would check this out really good)you give a man plenty of rope. If they care for you, they will be there like a little puppy dog, if not then you have your answer. Again check for a license.....Living in another city, seeing you once a week, sounds really like a hmmmmmmm to me.
Are we married to the same man?...sm
Im stuck in the same situation pretty much. My husband does very little to help me in any way, shape, or form except when it suits him. I do the bills, most of the housework (he occasionally puts up dishes and sweeps the kitchen), all the child care (for 3), make all the phone calls, etc., everything. When I want to go somewhere there is always a big deal made...when he wants to go somewhere (even when I NEED him here so I can work if I get behind) he will go. I almost NEVER get out of the house without one or all children (if I get out)...when HE wants to go somewhere he does not want any of them to come. I think those so wondeful marriages are few. All I think about is leaving, but the kids....they love him. You cant work with someone when they wont work with you. 
did she know how he was before she married him?
nm
I think we are married to the same man!!
Not only does my husband blow EVERYTHING way out of proportion, but he suffers from narcissistic personality disorder! I lie to my husband anytime there is an issue that I know will really upset him and his own mother backs me up b/c she knows how enraged he becomes. I too feel guilty but having peace in my home is far more important to me. He definately needs some counseling and probably a good anti-depressant. I think the tape recording idea is excellent and I have always wanted to try it myself. Maybe if we let them see how ridiculous they sound they will wake up to their behavior. I feel for you b/c I have been in the same boat for 9 years now. I just keep praying and keeping the faith that one day he will change.....before I have a nervous breakdown!!
Very much married but ....
my eyes know beauty when I see it!
We had 2 --- they were my DHs before we married - sm
The one was a pure-bred with champion lines, the other a puppy mill dog. As stated below they can live very long. The PB lived to about 14 before she got cancer and we put her to sleep when she got too sick; the other was 16 before she got sick too and had to be put to sleep when she got too sick too. The first one was a bit mean though, fine with adults but did not like kids to mess with her and would bite/nip if a kid got to close; luckily she never made contact but not for lack of trying. We had to muzzle her at the vet. Great watchdog though. The other one was quite a yapper and dumb as a stick but quite a sweet dog and very loving, ate everything in sight though and she ended up quite porky. Sweet dog though. They are good dogs and I would not mind having another some day.
If you are not married I don't think you can do that - sm
though I am not sure about that, but it makes sense. He could add any kids they had but not the ex-wife. (he would have to lie and say they were married I believe) Also if for some reason his job pays for it then he is getting off scot free, though there are probably not many jobs that pay for it in full now days (my DHs used to pay for it until about 2 years ago, and now we pay but only about $150 a month for a family of 4, so it is a steal, and very good insurance luckily). Personally I would not do it, he should just try to pony up and pay a little more each month to get current again (get a second job if he has to); $1K is not that far behind, what 2 months maybe? He can just work a little harder to pay her.
You married her son, right?
Then apparently her way of bringing up a child did not harm him, is that true or did you marry some dunce? I guess she might have a little sense- you have to re-educate her?
was it like this when you first married...
nm
but most of these are not actually married sm
The man usually only marries the first wife and the rest are not legal marriages.
yep...got married.
sheezh
Where did you get married?
A church, city hall, a park, on a beach, on a sailboat, a private home, a cabin in the woods, other? Was it in the U.S. or a foreign country?
I got married (eloped) in a chapel. It had 4 pews in it. Made in the U.S.A.
We got married
in the country by my husband's nephew's backyard pond. It was beautiful. I walked down on a long white aisle runner and stood under a decorated trellis. Wouldn't have traded an outdoor wedding for the world.
had to be married twice the same day.
Married at a beautiful,famous restaurant in the state of Kentucky. Lived in Cincinnati, Ohio, which is right across the bridge from Kentucky. At the last minute the rabbi said "I can't marry you there, I am not a licensed Rabbi in the state of Kentucky. We were married legally early in the morning at 8:00 am at the rabbi's house in Cincinnati where he was licensed as a rabbi, in his flannel shirt, his wife in her housecoat to witness the wedding, my hair had not been done yet by the hairdresser and was standing on end, so much for the groom seeing the bride 24 hours prior. At 12:00 noon the wedding progessed in Kentucky with 350 guests and 32 yards of chantilly lace in my gown, but we were already married. The ceremony was for show only.
I was married at 17 and had her...
and she was married at 17 and had the first of my grandchildren. I am now 48 and have 7 of them....all is well and it's true, grandkids ARE better than your own! You can send them home when you are done spoiling them. BTW, both my daughters are done having kids, so that's it for me!
When I was married, my ex said..
...he was glad I didn't call all the time like some of the other men's wives did where he worked. We worked similar hours so I really didn't have the opportunity and neither did he to be on a telephone. When we separated though, he brought up the fact that I never called him and didn't sound interested the rare instance when he called me. Go Figure! I called if there was something that simply wouldn't wait until he got home and vice versa! I've never used the telephone like lots of people, even as a teenager. Do better with letters and cards, dinosaur that I am, and love email. My daughter lives about 1-1/2 hours away. She and I went on a short 3-day vacation when she and her fiance were engaged. He called 3-4 times a day and I became pretty irritated, even though I tried not to show it. I try to leave them alone to live their life and wish he would let us enjoy each other once in a while. She and my granddaughter came one evening to my house recently and we went to dinner and a gymnastics meet. They were here about 5 hours total and he called 3 times during that time!! Feels like he does not trust her.
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