I agree with you; don't understand all these other posters
Posted By: sm on 2007-06-25
In Reply to: Doesn't sound normal to me - magsMT
It's not like he is 4 or 5; he is 10.
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Agree with other posters, plus...
She was punished in school. Unless something really, really bad (which thankfully never happened), I would let school behavior be dealt with at school and home behavior dealt with at home. However, I let my kids know that in no uncertain terms, the teacher had my blessing in dealing with them in the appropriate manner (pretty scary lol).
But I have to say, and please do not take offense, but she wanted a book... not a toy... for some reason that just breaks my heart. I guess because my daughter loves books and they are her world (now an English major with college professor aspirations).
Anyhow, no one is perfect, kids nor parents.
I'd have to agree with the other posters.
He sounds very controlling. I was married to that and it took me 13 years to get away from the mental abuse and longer to "regroup." My situation was extreme. I grew up in a household in the days where "the man was the boss and you did what they said." So, when I married young, I viewed my husband as my "boss" or "master" and I was supposed to do as he said and NEVER talk back. I was allowed no friends, could not socialize or work outside of the home because other men may be at the place I might work. I was timed when I went to the grocery store and one time I took too long and he locked me it of the house..it was my son's birthday.. He also watched our house from his work with binoculars so he would know when and if I left the house and if any men came over. Well, after finally getting a job, getting out in the "real" world, I found out that people didn't live that way. The women I worked with actually had friends, could have lunch with them etc.. I remember them all inviting me out to lunch while at work, and I remember being terrified that he'd "catch" me out somewhere other than work and I would get in trouble. Once, I figured out this treatment was wrong, I decided to fight back, and the first time I talked back, he went nuts..threatening to cut off all my hair so no one would want me if I left him etc..This insanity continued until God came me the strength to leave. The first thing I did was enroll in college at age 27, having never even finished high school, but I was ready for college and I knew I had to do it if I ever wanted to get out of there and support myself. He made my life so miserable while I went to school and most days I just wanted to quit and give up, but I didn't. I just kept going and thank goodness. Long story short. I started my life over at 30 and have never looked back. I was single for 8 years before I got married again. It took me that long to fix myself so that I would never again put up with that crap. So, NOW, I'm the boss and it's my way or I'll slap his beak off LOL. On a serious note, I don't mean to pass judgment but your husband sounds too controlling and it's time to stand up now or forever hold your peace. I remember being called a fat a#$#$@# when I weighed 120 lb. I was scared to eat and get fat because he berated me. Mind you, this man got to 325 lb but I was the fat a#$#$#@.. Yes, life is good now. I'm my own person and married to the man of my dreams and who worships the ground I walk on..the way it should be...LOL Best wishes to you. No one deserves to be treated less than equal.
I agree with the posters below.
You need to move closer to family and see a doctor. You can also find the local social services department and they will provide free medications for 6 months. you will have to see one of their doctors but and fill out some paperwork but that's the only catch.
Depression is higher around the holidays. The weather, finances, family, on top of every day stresses can be overwhelming. Being in this antisocial job doesn't help either. I have often thought of getting something a few days a week just to get out of the house. I think it would do anyone good.
Know that things could always be worse and they will get better. Your grandson is young, he doesn't understand but will some day. Even if he had 30 presents, he would still think "where's the rest" as this is a common occurrence in kids. I thought it was only my child but since have found many others are the same.
Keep your head up and do what you can. It's ok to cry and vent to others. Don't keep it all bottled up inside. You will be surprised to find who your true friends and family are when you open up and really need them.
I agree with the other posters.
Definitely go up atleast 1 size.
I am pregnant now. I haven't even had a shower yet and everyone is giving me newborn stuff. I guess it is what everyone likes to give but forget that they are not in them very long.
If anyone else gave her diapers for her shower or just to be nice when they come to see the baby, odds are they will give her newborns. I have also heard that some hospitals allow you to take home with you what newborn diapers are left in the room on discharge so she may have those too. I'm sure it is not a lot but it all adds up.
I agree with most of the other posters.
I have an 11yo stepson. At his biomom's house he stays home alone for about an hour by himself after school and rides the bus home. He has been doing it since 3rd grade and he is still scared out of his mind when he does. We have talked about safety and all the rest with him to make sure he can make the best decision possible when home alone because it is out of our control. We do not leave him alone during our parenting time. He is a great kid but this doesn't have as much to do with him as with other people. You can't trust anyone. When it comes down to it, a kid will be a kid and when people get scared they forget things. He does have 3 teachers from his school that live on the same street and the walk from the bus is not far but things can happen very quickly and you don't know who you can trust these days.
I agree with most of the posters below, but I would
also like to add that it sounds like he needs a job or some form of exercise and male companionship. If he's not currently working, I take it that financially it's not hurting you. Therefore, it doesn't matter if he takes a minimum wage job -- clerking at a hardware store, etc. This will give him some self-worth, get him out of your hair and hopefully give him an outlet to talk about some of these world topics.
If he doesn't want to take a job, he should consider joining a gym. Exercise releases endorphins which makes you feel happy. It would also help with his figure. Maybe you could get a couples rate and go together. My hubs and I just joined our local gym. So far, we haven't gotten to go together because of the kids, but we both go separately with a friend.
I know what you mean about living in a small town. We live in a very small town -- population about 7000, 1 grocery store, 1 hardware store, 2 convenience stores, 2 dollar stores and a couple pizza/sandwich shops. But if you really want something, you'll find it. Maybe he just needs a gentle push.
If all else fails, you could give a call to his doctor and let him know about how he's been acting. His doctor could then discuss things with him (without letting him know that you've talked to him) and maybe prescribe some medication or run some tests that could find a medical cause for his negativity.
Good luck -- and as I said, I agree with what the other posters have said about changing yourself. My dad was the same way after he retired, but then he got a part-time job delivering furniture locally and joined the gym. He's a lot better now and my mom's grateful that he "talks" with his coworkers about some of the stuff he was bugging her with.
Agree with first. Don't understand second.
xx
I agree with you, but I also understand
where Jim was coming from. We are not just talking about his religion. We are also talking about his cultural environment, his personality and the fact that it really was a different time. Divorce was not as socially acceptable as it is now, and I am sure that played a part in all of it. Jim was an old-fashioned, old-school guy. It really was a huge part of what my mom loved about him and something she would never think of trying to change. When I remember him, I think of him as a character out of a romance novel and probably one of the most important lessons he ever taught me had to do with his fidelity and loyalty to his own principles.
Some people might think of this as a stubborn streak of sorts, but I believe that in all that solitary time he spent at sea, he came to know himself very well. He had compromised much of himself on our behalf for a very long time but, in the end, it was his strength of character that led him down a different path.
Needless to say, I forgave Jim, but I NEVER really forgave the Catholic church for the pain its rigid dogma inflicted on my family. This experience has forcefully impacted my own approach to spirituality. After that, I sort of eliminated the middle man (or in this case, the institution). My journey took me through comparative religious studies and along the way, I embraced what I believe makes the most sense to me, enables me to access my faith and to be guided by a more universal concept of my own spiritual life.
That was also the point of my original post. Religious/spiritual beliefs are intensely personal. There are some who are guided more, some less and some not at all, by them. For that reason, I think that the only "correct" and viable solution to challenges such as these that life presents to us can only be found within the context of the 2 people involved, and will not come from outside influences.
I totally agree...no one can understand this job but us MT Moms...
no breaks from anything...but I love working at home and wouldn't change it for the world...even if my kids do drive me crazy on a daily basis---LOL...part of the job...
I agree. I could never understand why people bragged about the size of their refund.
It just means they let the government accrue interest on their money throughout the year. I aim for less than $100 difference between what I owe and what I pay in every year. Yes, my refund is smaller, but I would rather put that money into savings or my retirement fund on a monthly basis than let Uncle Sam "hold it for me" all year long.
Where to get posters, etc. sm
My granddaughter's birthday in June, hope to get some favors, etc. I hate to jump on the bandwagon as I don't like all this stuff of kids growing up too soon. I hate to see them get out of princess and Cinderella. Oh well, any ideas on how to get ahead of the game - only the 1 and 2 grades invited, I find it sad that they don't have good old fashioned values but guess I'm history. PS: They do go to church, etc., for those who are ready to attack with other ideations. Peer pressure, sick of it all. Nice girls, pure and simple but getting into the bogus world of peer pressure. Confused!!
LOL to both those posters. I wish I were
clever enough to think of something... but more gullible, I would be the recipient of such a trick. This is why I work at home. :)
I'm not referring to the posters...sm
who disagree as being busybodies, but people who make a stink about this issue in general...Never said it was the disagreeing posters who are the busybodies...read carefully....
You know, I don't know, but I would tend to believe the other posters have hit
the nail on the head that it is a comfort zone and perhaps he cannot or will not be without a woman. He is not terribly outgoing, so I do suspect he has esteem issues of his own. In any case, I think I will follow the advice here and wait and see what life brings and not try to settle for less than.
I was one of the posters in the dicsussion below
and I said that I asked my 14yr old DD how many girls she knew that were pregnant. She said 0. She just finished middle school and will start high school with my DS this fall. Picked him up from Washington DC yesterday and told him about the discussion. He will be a junior this fall. Asked him how many girls were preggers and he said if it is not a rumor, then 13. I was shocked. Guess I was being fooled by many. But once again, I do know some really good girls, my DD included.
So I will apologize to both posters
the one who called me looney and the other who called me juvenile. Sorry if I offended you both...I find this board to be both a comfort and a place I can vent and hopefully help those who ask for advice or help with terminology. I don't want to come off as rude...I was just feeling a little hurt, as I would never call someone here a negative name, as I feel we are commrades...Hope that makes sense....I will shut up now and let this go...Just feeling sad that my good intentions turned sour. No hard feelings? None here.
I think you get the picture of the posters
xx
Yeah they do need posters over there
I've already got in trouble for posting that it was boring over there and got an e-mail that was rather defensive because I even said it and I did say it nicely.
There are no job ads; same ole Diskriter, Focus...
Same posters all the time... blah, blah 
I've tried several times to seem interested, but it's just the same ole boring stuff.. This board is much more exciting and informative.
To the 2 posters who gave me info on WW ...
The Points system is the best. I'm joined the online program and keep my points tracker open all day.
Thanks for giving the information you did.
True. Look at posters to this board who take bad
x
If this is so boring - why bother? they need posters over there can't you tell
by this thread?
Well, he WAS a prophet. Shame on cruel posters.
xx
Yeah, and it's always the ever-so-resentful posters who can't STAND sm
the fact that we are work-at-home MOMs!
I am so sick and tired of reading all of these negatives posts from those supermom's or those who abhor children, who sit on their high-horse and can't believe that we work at home with our children here. My children are very well behaved, very intelligent, LOVE ME BEING HERE, and I work doing MT and have been for about 8 years now.
Never, and I mean never, have I seen children with work-at-home parents kill someone, kill themself, become a drug addict, etc. Never. The ones that I see with all the issues are those parents who are A-B-S-E-N-T. Yes, I am yelling. I am just so sick and tired of all the backlash and negativity against us stay-at-home moms.
I think you are guiding your anger towards the wrong people. I don't know if your parents dropped you off somewhere when you were little, but you definitely have a problem to be so against us - and go so far as to call us inprofessional to be working from home. I have an idea. Why don't you NOT worry about us stay-at-home, work-at-home moms because your arguments carry absolutely no merit whatsoever. None.
As moms or dads, we are here. With them. And it does matter. They are thriving. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Before you start printing up posters and plastering
them all over town, campus, et cetera... remember there IS a little girl involved here with very tender feelings.
How long ago was his conviction or was it an accusation? What is the history behind the charges?
I beg you to PLEASE check with authorities and possibly a grief counselor for advice BEFORE you destroy a little girl who may have absolutely no idea of her father's past.
Posters here are giving great advice
I would definitely stash the savings before she got her hands on it. AND, I do believe she needs some help. Overspending can be a sign of a chemical imbalance. At the least, she needs budget counseling. You have to think past the moment, to the years ahead when you are both old and could possibly be broke.
We live in a double-wide trailer, older, but it is nice, and we are fixing it up room by room. Our mortgage is smaller than what rent would be. This is a conscious choice for us, knowing that if you choose the big fancy house, the big fancy payment comes with it. If you are already struggling, please stay where you are. I think you knew your answer before you asked us, just wanted affirmation, and all of the posters are wise on their advice. Best of luck to you.
Are you harsh posters cops or parents?
A little late to post, but here's my idea as a mom of 5. Get her out of the house, some place public, Starbucks or the bookstore - a place where she won't storm off and you'll both be civil to each other at least for a few minutes. Tell her you love her, be understanding and really talk to her. Ask her what is going on in her life, is she stressed about something in particular? Don't alienate her. There is a lot of life ahead for you both and this is not a permanent condition for her. If ALL you do is punish you risk sending her off in a bad direction. At the end of the conversation it may seem you got nowhere, but she'll think about things and hopefully be a bit less impulsive. Please post back and let us know how things go.
Posters are correct, child support diff from visitation
Just because a parent is behind on child support does NOT mean you lost your visitation rights, even if you went to court and tried making restitution. What the courts might do is GARNISH your salary (if employed) with some going towards back child support. I am not sure if all states are the same, but I would think they are on this subject, but again, I'm not sure. Florida works this way though, this I can assure you.
What an awesome post! I agree, agree, agree completely with you.
 You are right on the money in my book!
She wasn't talking to you, BTW. She was talking about the 2 posters below! nm
m
i understand
I have just become single again and have 2 kids. What I believe is that obviously we have spent so many years doing "kid stuff", going to the grocery, errands, etc. that we have a hard time hooking up with single guys because we lose sight of who we are beyond mom, household manager, etc. Try to remember or imagine what you would be doing if you didn't have kids and resosibilities or had time to do it. Whether it is rafting, reading and discussing things, being at a college class, hiking or some particular sport or interest(chess club, rock climbing, etc) you HAVE to make an effort to do these things, even if it constrained by time and $$hook up with a free group and devote a few hours a week to it. THEN eventually you'll be in the place to meet the person you would hang out with even if you weren't a mom.
"
I understand....
I worked away from home until just recently. The pressures to "donate" are horrible. My friend and I finally decided that we would allocate "X" amount of dollars for giving, once gone, the well was dry. Saying "NO" is not easy, and the repayment of debt falls in your lap.
You are probably more talented than you realize. Be creative if you work from home. Work hours while the children are asleep, or see if you can work split shifts to accomodate your children's schedule.
If you are unable to pay back on the taxes you owe right away, just attach a signed letter with your tax papers requesting a payment plan. You can set it up to reflect a reasonable monthly payment, include the first payment, and the IRS will work with you.
If you are incurring (sp?) debt, make sure that it is for something useful that is going to last for a while.
I understand what you are saying, but
I don't have a husband or significant other either, and when I did I still took out the trash, mowed the lawn, and what is snuggling? When the lump on the sofa was asked to leave, the only thing I missed was having to tell him to move to the other side.
I understand what you are saying, but did --sm
you read my post at all? How can one make *good food choices* when the govt. makes that impossible to do? I eat all organic these days, when ever possible. I eat lean red meat once a week. I eat a lot of veggies and fruits and try to find something that does not have HFCS in it...which is terribly difficult to do. It is a losing battle when all the cards are stacked against you. My vice is not food or overeating. My vice is what the govt inflicts on unsuspecting and disbelieving people who think that obesity is a choice...it isn't. and neither is diabetes or hypothyroidism. Good food choices do NOT override this condition. This condition was inflicted on me by money grubbing *professionals* who have their heads where the sun don't shine. If you think todays doctors and pharmaceuticals have our best interests at heart, you are an ostrich. Research it and do not *assume* that being overweight is a choice. it isn't. and simply making *good food choices* is not going to change that fact. JMO
He may not really understand what an IC is--sm
and he is concerned about future income, but really all he needs to be concerned with would be your income tax statement from last year. Personally I don't think he should need that type of letter, just proof of income, which would be tax statement. that is all. JMO
don't understand
If you bought a certain piece of furniture why is bidding involved and why does it have to be done on courthouse steps in the public and all that? By all means, do what the law says -- sure sounds like they're on your side. But getting a news station involved isn't a bad idea either. These people sound like crooks and the public needs to know. Even just a friend with a video camera to send a film of it all into a station with the hopes of a reporter followup to keep others from being tricked too. And I sure think you should get something for mental pain and aggravation and loss of interest on your money. 
From what I understand
nobody was "demanding" anything, they were making do just fine with the sinks. This was done because people complained about the sinks being used for this purpose. I guess I just don't get what the big deal is.
People are so afraid that immigrants are going to somehow take over the country, its like this big "us versus them" mentality- its just silly. What, are you worried that they will do what WE did when we "discovered" America to begin with? You know, we are all immigrants here when you think about it.
I understand about all that too
but they found no reason for my miscarriage and knowing all that still didn't help the pain or grief of losing the babies after trying for so long, and everybody doesn't just get pregnant again right after. I didn't. I was just blessed that God gave them to me in a diffent way
I do not understand what you mean?
A bite itself itches, you can scratch an itch but you cannot itch an itch. I would think that is a backwoodsy type statement if you said it.
I just don't understand this
First, my husband would not dare do this to me or my kids. This man obviously has no respect for anybody. And that is what I would tell your daughter's friend's parents, along with if it keeps up you'll divorce him! And I'd tell him the same exact thing. But if mine did this just once, I can assure you it would not happen again, after I got through with him.
What most of you do not understand
being as you are young and are able to work from home, years ago, well gosh as early as the early 90s, if I wanted a job and I had to have to raise children (not a single mother, a divorced woman) we had to work outside the house, did not have a choice. I am so very glad my kids are not in the toddler, preteen or teen years. The ones I see now are awful. Just in one of those box stores last night and I heard screaming, could tell not just 1 but several kids and finally here comes the mothers pushing and pulling several different ages of children along and the mothers, I guess, thought it was really cute that their kids could scream and act out like they were doing, the mothers actually smiling. Thank goodness, no more rug rats to raise.
You still don't understand. (sm)
A narcicist is not capable of being a friend. Divorcing him will be an insult to him and he will want to prove it is all your fault. Therefore you need a good lawyer to see if he can build a case to show that he is so bad for you and your children than he does not deserve visitation. You are going to need evidence, I'm sure.
Don't trust your own judgement the next time you are considering marriage - get a psychiatrist to evaluate any future husband for your own protection. You and your kids have been through enough, and I've read a lot of cases of women marrying the same type over and over again.
I understand
You have to feel that you've done everything possible to make your marriage work, so that if and when you decide to separate, it will be with the knowledge that there really isn't any other alternative for you.
The fact that your husband got excited about having a second chance is a good sign. Just don't let him slip back into his old ways. If he makes one demeaning remark to you, stop him cold in his tracks and tell him, "No more if you want this marriage to continue."
Be firm, be steady, and good luck!
I understand
But look what happened during Prohibition. And look at the availability of illegal drugs. It's a nice thought, but I don't think it would work. 
I don't really understand.............
I just know nothing would keep my mom from her grandchildren, even if she stopped speaking to her children and their spouses completely.
I think that is how I understand it, but
if someone else has them,(and how did they get them?) he (OJ) cannot just break-in to that person's room and take those items back. He should have notified the cops that this person had items belonging to him, stating the situation and go from there. I guess he thinks he is above the law after getting away with MURDER.
I'm not sure I understand what you
mean by associated, but it sounds like you did not pull the file from the disk into the transcription module. I did take a look under settings and then the files tab, where it shows the types of files ExpressScribe plays and where you check the box/es of the file types you will be transcribing. I did not see the one that you mentioned there, but just wanted to suggest that you could try converting the file using a program like GoldWave (free download) to something that is compatible. I usually convert to .wma files, which have always played fine on either of my modules (Olympus and ES).
Hope that helps, and good luck!
I understand....
I'm not telling everybody to not get it, just making sure they know all the side effects. I just tend to be overly cautious! :)
Hey, now I understand about no
respect by what you just wrote. You answered my question completely.
As I understand this...sm
these crosses were erected on PUBLIC land, not privately owned land. I can sure understand you being against roadside memorials though, in your situation, but this one is different, as it is public land and not hurting anybody..however, if it is violating some sort of state or city law, the laws should be adhered to, in my opinion.
I don't understand. Do you want to
leave him or stay with him. Sounds like you are miserable there. Maybe he was thinking the same thing and just afraid to be the first one to bring it up. If you are going to stay with him, then things have to change on BOTH sides.
I so understand, there too
 It is good to hear someone with the same problem as me. My daughter died 12 years ago and sometimes it just hits me real bad, a sound, a memory, a smell, and it all comes rushing back. No one can understand unless they too have lost a child. I feel for you. This time of year is always so hard.
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