I agree-cigs worse addiction than pot, like heroin!
Posted By: NM on 2007-03-02
In Reply to: Do you really love him? - SM - AzMT
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cig smoking is EXACTLY like heroin addiction.....
filters cut off for more strength....to answer your question.
I wish someone had stopped me - folks gave permission at a young age....because they were smokers.....I have never quit except in pregnancy....but I quit buying over 3-1/2 months ago, still smoke but ask others for one....and I cut back smoking by 75 percent and THAT's something because I no longer even cough the way I used to, my house smells GREAT (smoking outside only).....and I sound better (because I really am better - health-wise).
It is MOST definitely a drug addiction, as bad as any of them, as addicting as any of them........so the post was right on about *hearing it is as strong as a heroin addiction* - I tell kids today, that's exactly what it is...........................because it is.
My only suggestion is to show her pictures (found online even, just Google the subject/topic/question) of what lungs look like in smokers versus nonsmokre, and then find some head and neck surgical oncology site and start showing her pictures there (I worked in a surgical oncology HEAD AND NECK dept for a few years and what I saw was definitely sickening and yet, I too, still smoke *slaps self*)
My children (due to the fact I used above tactics) - NEVER smoked (thank goodness!!!!).
Best of luck to her and you!!!
So is it sex addiction, or porn addiction? (sm)
Seems like there is a difference. How would one become a therapist for the stars with sex addiction? LOL.
I totally agree. Not to minimize your post, but there are far worse
To keep at it would be overkill.
Well, at least stopping cigs a silver lining -sm
to the dark cloud of brokeness. Congratulations on that - if nothing else, you'll have much better health in the future.
I'm getting pretty low on cash, as well. I've been supplementing my anemic little paychecks by raiding my savings for the last 3 years. I had some credit card debt after moving and some major vet bills, which kept going up even though I paid $100-200 over the minimum each month. Turns out, those buggers had raised my finance charges (for no reason!) from 9% to 29%. So, I emptied out the remainder of my savings, which was just enough to pay off the credit card, which I will most likely never use again. (I now use just my checking/debit card... limits me to spending only what I HAVE, which also saves me money.) So, that smarty-pants bank now doesn't have my money in the bank anymore, and they also won't be making any more finanance fee profits off me anymore, either. (Way to go, banks!) Just think -- if everyone took their savings out of the bank, paid off their credit cards, and then no longer used them, we could put those sorry SOB'S out of business. Since my life is already pretty much of a mess, I'd love nothing more than to sit back and watch the chaos a total bank collapse would bring. Then the rest of the country would have to live like we've already been doing for the last 5-10 years or so.
Maybe she's back on heroin? lol
x
How about that guy on crack and heroin that won 27 million and blew it all
or should I say snorted/shot it all. That story was so unbelievable it was almost like it was set up as an experiment. Yikes.
Thanks everyone - I have felt worse and worse as the day has gone (sm)
I am usually not so gullible and I really, really believed this was a good person I was helping. Wolf in sheep's clothing I guess. I have never been so completely fooled. I am old enough to know better.
Addiction
Ex sister-in-law was addicted to cocaine, and she did incredibly stupid/dangerous things all the time. I am not surprised LL did not get a driver, judgment is totally impaired when you are addicted to coke. That is why she is my EX-sister-in-law
Electronics addiction
It is real, and my DH has a bad case.
I've been married 20 years. For the first 10 years, with each purchase I always thought he finally had everything and he'd stop trading up. No - it never ends. He does take some things back (and yet always forgets to safe-keep the receipt). He tries to tell me my cheap OTC makeup and $20-clothes are the same thing, but electronics are so expensive and unnecessary to me that it does get annoying that he has such an expensive hobby. It's as if THAT's the reason I'm working - to support his addiction. Sigh.
It's never the end.
HBO series on addiction sm
HBO had an excellent series on addiction.It may be available on the Net someplace. They have what is called the *go* factor in the brain, etc. which stimulates the need for alcohol or drugs. I have attended many different lectures on this and it is very confusing. All I know is that it happens in the very best of families, drugs, alcohol, any feel good addiction can happen to anyone. I have a hard time dealing with it myself since some of my nearest and dearest have problems. All one can do is take good care of themselves and lead by example. This time of year seems to bring it all out - I used to dread Christmas and the loose lips that sink ships, one too many drinkers can ruin a holiday! It's funny in the movies but not in real life, it is a disaster. No one needs to apologize, glad the subject came up, it's a good *remember when* for me. I stopped buying booze several years ago and it is surprising how my guest list has shortened, thank goodness! I feel my life has improved for the better since alcohol is not on my holiday menu. You have to start someplace, why now with your own home sweet home? No more booze served here. A lot of us have walked that walk, it's a tough one.
computer addiction
see below.
to irritated/porn addiction?
Wow, you sure are trusting after seeing such a big change in behavior. I hope you don't get what I got: the greatest guy I could've wanted (good, prominent family, $, respect, the works). I won't fill in all the frills I got, but they were plenty, and I thought I was set. for life. And yes, he did love me dearly.
The thing I came to learn was that he had a porn addiction. It's something I've never experienced, and really hadn't typed about, either. I'm no fool, and had been with plenty of men before him, as we got married later than most, but this was a first for me. In the end it ruined our marriage. My point is that when you see strange things happen, don't poo-poo it. Only you know if something is amiss, and I believe you do. I hope I'm wrong, and I certainly hope you don't have to face what I did. It sickens me to think about the details of all that chapter, but now that we're no longer "one," I know that I can't fix him, and as long as he doesn't acknowledge his problem, he won't, either. Ironically, even now I'd be as supportive as possible if he were to shed the demons that are eroding him to his core, but he'll be the first to tell the world that there's nothing wrong with him.
Just something to think about. I hope you don't end up the way I did. I'm just glad I don't have all that anxiety anymore, and we're actually friends (or something like that).
Good luck.
Yes - he checked himself in rehab for sex addiction
nm
I was simply stating what my sweet addiction is and what
my not sweet addiction is. 
My husband is an alcoholic currently in rehab for his addiction.
Our marriage has suffered terribly because of his addiction. Actually, I should say my love for him has suffered terribly because of his alcoholism. He is totally dependent on me and I have come to feel more like his mother than his wife. I make the money, pay the bills, take care of our children, basically run the house. He's either always looking for a job or working as a self-employed used engine and transmission salesman/mechanic barely making any money at all.
Recently, I told him I didn't love him anymore and that I was tired of taking care of him. So he entered rehab as a way to win me back and prove his love for me. He calls me at least 20 times a day from rehab. If I don't answer, he will call repeatedly every two minutes or so until someone answers or he has to go back to group or class or whatever.
He will get out of rehab at the end of this month and fully expects to come back home and provie that he is changing. My problem is this, I don't want him to come home. I have enjoyed the peace I've had with him gone (save for the constant phone calls). However, I fear that if I am honest with him and tell him over the phone that I don't want him back, this will affect his sobriety and basically he will see no reason to finish rehab and remain sober. He tells me repeatedly that he is doing this for me. I've told him he should be doing it for himself or at the very least, his kids and he will just agree with me and change the subject.
He's not a bad person. He just has his problems and I'm tired of feeling like I have this anchor around my neck all of the time. While he's been gone I've enjoyed spending time with my kids. I've gotten together with my girlfriends for dinner and movies and just had girls' night out. I've spent time visiting my mom and sister and helping my niece plan her upcoming wedding. Without my husband around, I've just feel free to have fun and do stuff for me.
How can I tell him that I want a divorce without feeling responsible for affecting his rehabilitation? How would you handle it?
Ancestry.Com Needs a Surgeon General's Addiction Warning Box
Is to get one of those Ancestry charts online where you put in each person in a family tree. You can then click on 2 people's names and see exactly how they're related to each other.
And it's getting worse
Our local school district is lauded as one of the best in Pennsylvania. But apparently I'm one of the few who disagree. They actually give out varying grades of failing -- an E and an F. And D's are passing grades. I have a foster son in that school system, and I hate it. The children who do well, get all the attention. Average and below average students are poorly served, but a good deal of their parents are uninvolved, and we just don't hear their stories as often. My other two children go to a Catholic HS where the only grades are A, B, C or fail. Even though the school is smaller and the curriculum less varied, it's worth the struggle to pay the tuition, because standards are higher.
I'm a very big believer that we get from children what we expect from children. And very large school districts, no matter how much they talk about attending to the individual child, just are not able to do so. Children who struggle just can't get the attention they need.
which is worse.
My account was $174 in the red. I panicked, went to the ATM with a CC and got $200 and deposited it my account. I don't get paid until Friday. I don't know when DH gets paid. The bank said they cleared them so probably no charges are going on the outside, but bank itself is going to charge me for this. I really don't know how that works. I have never been in this mess before. I just got worried my name is going to be posted all over town "do not accept checks from this woman" very embarrassing. I am supposed to have close $4000 in tax money coming in which will pay off 2 loans which will help. While there is work available, I better go back to the kind of typing I get paid for. I asked the bank lady which is worse, but she said I will get bit either way.
Well, it could be worse.
At least you didn't mention she's smoking up your house or using illegal drugs or having wild parties or stealing from you. The loud TV is something you could address. Turning it down or using headphones are two possible compromises. You can't expect a paying renter to share all of your values, especially if you didn't take the time to see if you were going to be compatible for each issue. I'm sure she would be surprised to hear she's so annoying. From her point of view, other than a TV that may be too loud, she's just minding her own business.
OMG, I know! I'm not sure which is worse,
the way the ER treated her or the way the 911 operator responded to people calling for help. Why is that guy not being fired???
It could be worse!
I haven't started all that, so it could be worse. But when other things went wrong in my life I lost interesting in food. I was only eating 2 meals a day, and apparently one of those wasn't good enough. I did lose 10 lbs, but I reached a good weight adn stopped losing, so I wasn't concerned at all about that. So then the old antidepressant wasn't working, so changed to another one, then skin started changing and wouldn't heal, blood wouldn't clot, had extreme exhaustion and apathy. So now I have to recover from vitamin deficiencies, at least I learned that it's hard fo me to stay healthy when I work at home.
I'm going back to school for something I always thought I couldn't do, but maybe I can after all! Everybody is very encouraging. They never thought MT was challenging enough for me anyway.
He was always that way, getting worse (sm)
I just put up with it for a long time, overlooked it. When I was younger I thought I probably just didn't know how people are supposed to act and so I assumed he knew better than me. But now it is particularly offensive to me when I keep asking him to work on how he treats me and he says until I act like a wife, he is not gonig to treat me like one. Well, I'm not a prostitute. I don't have to buy his kindness with my body. I think I have pretty much made up my mind. I really appreciate all the comments and welcome any others.
It is not going to get better. It is only going to get worse.
Is that what you want? For yourself OR for your children?
Please read my post in the thread below - "See a divorce attorney." Same advice still applies. Make sure you have someone on your side who knows the LAW. You just have to make up your mind to do it. I suggest you do it soon, before he starts criticizing and/or hitting the children. And don't say that would never happen. It could and it very well might.
Get rid of him - it will only get worse - sm
I married a man like that, thinking "I can change him." oh I laugh at myself now, only after I kick myself.
The fact that his ego was so much larger than you could imagine should have been a clue. Even now, he says he already knows what I am going to say so "don't bother"! Whatever!
Kick him to the curb and find a REAL man!
got worse before it got better
Believe me, this person was something else, that was 20-odd years ago. My personal life was a wreck, and she really succeeded it just making me feel worse about myself. She made everyone take the CMT exam, it was no where near ready, and I was the only one that flunked it the first time. It was a dark, dark time.
This is worse (sm)
The grammar my husband uses as well as his family and friends is horrible but I have to hold back correcting them. Spelling too. I blame the school systems.
I do, however, correct TV reports out loud in my own home. That's always a fun game!
I along with others got worse than that
Years ago before government pushed into folks lives, kids were punished in ways, ok I was hit with a belt, a yard stick and 1 time when mother got really ticked, one of those 60s high heels with the pointy toe and slim heel. I never resented her for my acting out and probably deserved each swat I got. My DH also tells me he got what he calls beatings (you got to understand sometimes we just call them that when they were whippings)and both of us and all I know growing up turned out really adjusted. I saw the post above wondering about if we were afraid of strangers approaching with items or men, that is really funny- I along with others of my age group probably got more whippings than most know. It only make me a stronger person. The kids growing up then were real nice ones.
To a man, I bet nothing is worse the ED. A man
x
Could be worse...
We had to pay over 3k in taxes between fed and state this year, over 3k in property taxes, and we don't get the stimulus check.
I'm trying to feel sorry for you, really I am... 
It's going to get worse before it gets better.
I believe when your psych doctor tells you to be nice, she is telling you not to stress. Stress will only make you sick. You just have to be patient. Teenagers are going to do what they want. Even after our visits with the psych doctor ended, it was still rough going. My child left home at Christmastime. That was the worst time of my life but I survived. I packed up her gifts, tracked down where she was staying (with a friend and her mother), dropped the gifts off at the house and left. I did not speak with my daughter and I told her friend's mother that I did not want to speak with her. I continued with my holiday enjoying the rest of my family and the next week, my daughter came back home sheepishly. She had lost a lot of weight so I know she could not eat like she wanted. After that incident, I did not have any more problems and she lived by my rules until we shipped her off to college. She has graduated from college and is now going to Officer's School for the Air Force. What I'm saying is, you will survive this. Don't give her your power. If she needs to, let her see how difficult it is to live on her own and not have the comforts of mom and dad's house.
N0 way, I think she was always like that, worse than a dog..! nm
nm
Then it is even worse! Then you took
the money form your blood relatives, your nephew and niece, PRETENDING that you cannot find them! WOW !
I do sometimes. This year seems worse
I guess because we have 2 houses to sell and family issues that have been going since July. But normally I am fine and just get the blues after Christmas is over. This time of year is wonderful but can be stressful trying to live up to family expectations etc.
Beepers are worse, though.
You hear them go off on the guy's belt and you know what's coming... right up to the mouthpiece until they finally turn it off. LOUD beeping breaking my ear drum.
The cell phones are bad also. They should have rules of cell phone/dictation. Yeah, right.
I used to do this doctor whose cell phone was a cat's meow. I was forever trying to figure out where he was dictating from where this cat was always meowing. I finally figured it out when he actually answered it rather than let it terminally meow. ;-)
That network is actually getting worse, if that is at all
!
It gets worse every year...
I'm still shaking my head, especially over that last one!
Worse every year . . .
Ditto here! That last one should have gone home. Really a shock.
dont know which is worse
that or hearing that Sanjaya is still on AI???!!!
Going to watch AI *live* my time for first time this year!
Rachel Ray is worse
Get the woman a muzzle and some valium. Good grief her voice goes through me like chalk on a chalkboard.
Not worse than the funeral I went to
NM
Don't be, there are lots of others who have it far worse- sm
than those of us here with husbands that basically are just spoiled brats who want it all their own way and don't want to have to do anything other than go to work (and most don't even want to do that) come home, eat, and put up their feet and watch TV. Mom is supposed to do it all, cook, clean, deal with the kids on every level, be ready to go when hubby wants sex and work herself, all with a big smile on her face. At least that is what my husband expects, though he does do the cooking though lately he has really cut back and I have had to pick up the slack or no one eats. He cooks for himself and I do the kids and I. I do everything else even cut the grass sometimes as he is "too tired". He has been whining about retiring for years now, he is only 48 but thinks he should be able to quit and I pay all the bills, don't think so as I make only about 20% of what he does. He says when the house is paid off he is quiting. I have told him no that is not an option until the kids are out of college (another 16 years), he is not too happy about that. Once he hits 55 I know it will really become a battle (or when his parents die as he is expecting at least 1M from them), but I will probably quit MT then and go out and get a job especially if he is homw all day then. My only consolation if I do stick it out is I will be a rich widow and he will probably develop cirrhosis in the next few years as he has been drinking 8-12 light beers a day for about 25 years at least, and he does not eat much as well; and hates doctors so by the time he gets any serious illness it will be too late most likely. A friend of mine in the healthcare field is convinced it will happen, just a question of when. Who knows, don't really much care. I keep my kids happy and they do love their daddy and he loves them to pieces too, but he is just a bit too unrealistic in his expectations of them, me and life in general. If push comes to shove I will probably demand he leave, he hates the house and has said on more than one occasion if he goes I can have the house (how generous of him), though I'd demand it be paid off first, so he'd have to raid the 401K for $50K but he would not owe me a penny; and on the side of stupidity I'd probably get a equity line and pay off all the cc debt we have just to shut him up and have less stress about that. That payment is a lot less than a mortgage and it would be worth it in my mind to do. We'd both be paying off debt and he could not whine that I stuck him with that too. Child support will make him whine enough as it is. He'd walk away with a truck, trailer, boat, big screen TV, his collectables/antiques (a lot of stuff), my mom's china (I don't like it and she wanted him to have it when she died and he loves it), a few tables, half the dishes and a 5 acre lot about 12 miles away on which he could build a house. Yes, I have thought this out quite a bit. Anyone in a bad situation, don't bury your head in the sand, think about your options and have a game plan if necessary. Good luck to us all!
I had the same situation only worse(sm)
my 9-year-old nephew (who I rarely see) stopped in with his father yesterday to wish Christmas greetings. Somewhere in the conversation as we were talking about work in general my nephew pipes up and says, "Maybe you should get a REAL job." I can only assume that discussion among the adults in their household centers around the fact that they don't think I "really" work even though I I sit for eight hours a day (and have for 10+ years) just like if I went off to the hospital to do this (which I did for 13 years before that).
Yes worsening after for me...much worse (sm)
It could be a matter of age but my cramps and flow got way, way worse after the procedure.
Probably just put together the 2 worse words
x
Amen...nothing worse than a....
used to be thin gal bending down and getting the wide view of a tattoo!
Prices just keep getting worse s/m
Instead of throwing the meat away here, they have a list of churches that will take it for the soup kitchens, etc. At least they know it is going to a good cause.
We have been skimping more and more on meals. We are having more grilled cheese with soup, french toast or pancakes with sausage or bacon (when I find it on sale) and we were just given a deer that we had processed for ground meat and such. I have cut way back on snacks, a bag of chips and a bag of apples or oranges for the week. With 4 kids in the house, that goes fast!
I can beat that one - I did much worse! -sm
I used to transport horses as an almost-full-time second job. (Did so for almost 30 years). Had 3 trucks & 2 trailers. I live in an apt., so could only park 1 truck there. The rest I 'boarded' at a local stable. On a hot summer day, I pulled in and parked my rig, and covered the truck with a dust cover (since the riding arena was right nearby... saved me lots of cleaning.) So I locked everything up, got in my smaller truck, and drove home.
TWO DAYS LATER, I'm at work, and get a frantic phone call from one of the trainers at the stable, saying they had to break into my truck. I of course flipped out at that, then she told me that the barn cat was in there meowing to be let out! She had apparently jumped in while I was back behind the trailer for a moment & the door was open, and jumped into the back seat and I never knew she was there.
That poor cat was in the truck with no food or water for 2 whole days in the middle of summer, when the temps were in the high 90's outside. The truck was in the direct sunlight all day long! It's amazing she survived, but she was apparently just fine. A dog in the same situation probably would have died. (I'm sure she did use up 6 or 7 of her 9 lives, though!)
worse than a diet
I had a very loved border collie for years that was not hugely obese, but overweight. I liked to keep dry food in his bowl, if it was empty i put some in it. Well "Thomas" developed diabetes. I noticed his excessive thirst and then before I took him to the vet, he suddenly went blind. The vet said his blood was thick like syrup. Sadly, Thomas is no longer with us. Now I measure my dogs food and don't project my own love of food onto my pets, vowing I'd never be guilty of overfeeding again. I hope my sad case will help another realize the importance of feeding responsibly.
ESL torture dictation - can it get any worse than this??
Imagine if you will a horrible, horrible ESL who mumbles, stutters, grunts his words, lets his words fade off into unintelligible ramblings...Then you get him talking to another ESL who does the very same thing!! They carry on what could be called be a conversation with each of them stammering and stuttering for nearly 2 minutes. Oh, the torture of it all! I feel better now because I know you can all relate! 
Even worse....the cart runs into a car
nm
I with you, Hayseed. Backwards (or worse) is right. sm
I don't like the sound of this at all. So let's see, this law would *force* a woman to look an ultrasound. Okay, let's say it passes. Then what? Is there a time limit placed on the amount of time she has to look? I mean, is a glance okay? Will that suffice? Or does it have to be a full 30 seconds... 60 seconds... 5 minutes? Does someone have to hold a timer and witness it? What if she refuses to look? Are the police called in to hold her head and keep her eyes pried open?! Come on, now.
Honestly. It sounds ridiculous, uneforceable, and more than a little scary to me.
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