I've personally sat down with groups of TG people
Posted By: the mother of male-to-female transition on 2008-03-29
In Reply to: I'm probably going to get blasted for this - and I am absolutely no expert
It was a therapy/support group that I attended with my son/daughter. I was the only parent there. My child was never molested or had any such issues you think are common to "gay" people you are acquainted with. None of the TG people I have spoken with expressed concern about any past abuse. The main issue that everyone had in common and kept discussing was the crushing rejection they received from society and their family. Many were shocked and envious that I as a parent was at the meeting, because their own parents would no longer even speak to them.
If a child is born with gender issues, we make it very clear to them the minute the issue arises that we don't want to hear it. We accuse them of making a choice and judge their choice is wrong, so we punish them, we try to silence them and make them stop the nonsense. So they learn to hide it and handle it alone. IF they make it through puberty without suicide, as adults they tell us it still exists and they must face it. What do we do then? Accuse them of duplicity because they faked being "normal" for so long (after WE forced them to), punish, ignore and hate them, cut them out of the family, weep and moan from the shame of it all and what people will think of them and us. We even tell them we'd prefer they were dead! Because we'd rather deny and eliminate our own child than deal with THIS problem. How very sad for us all. We need to focus on what is wrong with US that we would react this way to a loved one with a very tough problem. Only then can we work on how society sees it.
So for every transgendered person you hear of - know this - they are dealing with a horrible backlash from the people they love AS WELL as the gender issue. Most of them contemplate suicide daily (statistically 50% do commit suicide - the other half that die untimely deaths are murdered). Despise them if you wish, your opinion won't make it go away. The next transgendered person born could be your child or grandchild, your neice or nephew, your best friend's new baby. I pray they will each have someone in their lives that will love them anyway, who doesn't choose gender as more important than the human being.
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There are groups that have protested at people who have died of AIDS but
I really do not know if same group or not. One person's name who comes to mind is Ryan White, the young kid who contracted AIDS through blood transfusion as small infant. What an horrific thing for a family to have to go thru, first a diagnosis like this to have a loved one die and then for people to say they deserved it? This world is really not right. I think it is only getting worse.
Are there any church groups or other groups you can join? SM
The more you are around people you can feel comfortable with, the better.
I'm shy too. This field is very difficult if you are shy, since, even when I worked in-house, I was just sitting there with headphones on.
Also, another tip, having girlfriends are a good way of meeting boyfriends. It's difficult, I mean, socializing can actually seem like another full time job, but do it. You will be happier for it.
I personally know 3 people it was wasted on
Of the three people I know, one got a criminal justice degree and now sells real estate, another got a business degree and continues to work on a factory line, a third has decided to become a professional student and see how many degrees she can get - but she never intends to work - is 38 and never had a job in her life.
I attended one of their certificate ceremonies - she was not receiving a degree, mind you, just getting a 1 year completion ceremony. I was amazed at what they were giving completion certificates for - filing was one of them - who brags they got a certificate in filing and hangs it on their wall? In my day you learned such things with OTJ training, or in high school business classes - its not rocket science to learn to file alphabetically, good grief! I was very sad that those girls had paid to learn it. I question the cirriculum and morals of colleges that have classes like that and give out certificates for them, and can't imagine what an HR person thinks when someone proudly presents it to her across the hiring desk!
personally, I don't think that has anything to do with why people get divorced...
Marriage and having a family is sharing in the responsibilities of both taking care of the house and the kids...My husband and I both work and we both take care of the house and the kids...that way we have time to spend with our family, not one person doing chores all day, et cetera...JMO
I personally know 4 people who met and married via dating websites - sm
I was shocked at first when a good friend of mine in her 30s said she had met the most fantastic man on eharmony and was VERY skeptical, but I met him and he is very nice. They have been married 6 years now and baby 2 is on the way. Two of my husband's friends from work met women this way and both are now happily married from what we can tell. Lastly, my husbands 47yo cousin has met a man she is very serious about. They are flying back and forth from CA to NY every few weeks to spend time together. Maybe it does not work for everyone and there probably are some real losers there too, but I have seen firsthand that it can work. Just something to think about. Best wishes whatever route you take! 
I've known 4 people who had it....sm
Every one of them lost weight but also regained a lot of the weight. One of them had horrific complications post-surgery and he almost died from it and had 3 subsequent surgeries. A lot of insurance companies that were paying for this surgery are now considering not paying for it because it is high risk without proven long-term success.
While considering this surgery ask blunt questions from the surgeon, i.e. how many surgeries has she/he done, how many people kept the weight off more than 3 years and how many had complications. Then ask for references of patients you can talk to that had the surgery and call them up. A good reputable surgeon will have patients willing to speak up about their experience.
As with any weight loss regimen there are people that are successful with this. In order to be successful you have to realize that you must make lifestyle changes that are permanent because if you don't, you'll stretch the smaller stomach back out and regain weight.
Good luck with your final decision. I don't mean to scare you, but you need to know that this isn't for everyone and without being committed to permanent lifestyle changes it will not be successful long-term.
I've known several people
who have had this. I just remember them saying it didn't stay constant, it started in one area and migrated around their chests. It did take months to resolve, unfortunately.
I've known people who don't like them
because cats are a lot more work emotionally than dogs. I have a boxer and he immediately loves anyone that walks through the door. My cats on the other hand, immediately hate anyone who walks in the door! My family calls my little one 'Spaz' because he'll come up to be petted, but when they go to pet him he runs away. But I know how sweet he can be. When I'm sitting in my chair in the living room, he'll crawl up and put his head under my chin and fall asleep (which is cute, buy I have to hold him up when he falls asleep!)Both of my cats are here sleeping by my feet. Sometimes I think some people just want the animal to love them immediately without having to work for it and that doesn't always work for cats.
I have also found a love for big cats and try to do fund raising for animal rescue facilities any time I can. For the cat lovers - here is a picture of Mya, a baby Florida Panter. Hope this works!
Most of the people I've met at my door
to a church and have our own beliefs. I wouldn't appreciate it if someone went on and on after I've told them that. Would probably shut the door, just as I would hang up the phone with a pushy telephone solicitor.
I've heard other people saying that, too
I don't have anyone playing sports this year, so didn't give it a thought, but I hope you're right and that the ratings aren't affected or that they change the night it is on.
I can't say I've ever been a people-pleaser
type, BUT, I do have one very difficult sister. We are going on a very special vacation this summer where we will get to see my brother and his family after a long hiatus. The reason is that they live 1000 miles away and also that his wife gets stressed out by certain members of our family. She assures me she likes me. But my difficult sister is already driving me nuts about the plans for this vacation. It's at the beach. She doesn't like the beach, but everybody else does. Her husband makes great money, yet they are complaining about the cost of the hotel. They would rather rent a house. Nobody wants the stress of being in the same house with them, but when we've tried to tell my sister she and her husband need to tone things down and not be so difficult, she gets all offended. So we ARE going to stay in a hotel to offer some separation, and yes we ARE going to be on the top floor, even if she's just sure it's going to be hot up there (oy). This vacation should be wonderful, but she's bound and determined to complain, and I'm not going to humor her at all.
I've seen shows on really obese people
I have no idea how someone could consume that much food. I mean really? It is interesting though how it goes from one extreme to the other in that anorexics do not eat anything at all, and I mean nothing.... So, I couldn't do that either, and I certainly believe in eating disorders; I really do. I am no skinny minnie, and my daughter is sort of overweight for her age, but not really for her height. I see her go to the fridge just cuz she's bored.... So, I've been trying to teach her other things to do when she's bored; she's only 9. Here's another thing that's interesting... At school, if she mixes odd foods together (like ketchup and BBQ sauce to dunk chicken tenders), she gets a rise out of the other kids at the table.
That site and what my daughter does certainly shows me that this is part of a much broader, wider (no pun intended) problem with this society, which is that if we are odd in any way it draws attention and we all love attention don't we?
P/S: YUCKO on the huge Scooby Doo sandwiches, but I watched that growing up in the 70s and 80s, so this is not a new thing! Anyone? 
I've lived in the snooty HOA places and amongst regular people
With all due respect, I'm not a conformist and have no desire to feel 'unique' in a development simply because I get to choose 1 of 3 styles of carpeting, 1 of 4 styles of roofing material, etc. I don't like being boxed in or having others make my decisions in life. I'm far too independent to be subservient to a group of individuals who decide what is aesthetically 'acceptable'. I've no desire to associate with people who exude your smug, self-satisfied attitude that simply because you pay others every month to dictate what you can and cannot do with your own home. I've lived in a place like this, very briefly, simply because I got tired of trying to explain to first-time visitors which condo was mine because they all looked just alike, nothing unique about ANY of them.
MT work is isolating in and of itself. I've no desire to further isolate myself from society by feeding myself a false sense of security or self-righteousness that because I'm in an HOA-dictated community that I'm better (or safer) than anyone else.
The day someone tells me I can't put a decoration up without permission is the day I move.
If I wanted to live by someone else's rules, I'd have lived with my parents all of my life.
Indepenence equals freedom to me, and by letting someone else dictate what I may or may not do with something I pay hard-earned money for is just tacky.
Make sure his Will is made out and pray. I've seen too many people like this in my nursing career
s
I didn't know they had groups
I only thought this was for actors. Never thought to look up the group. Thanks.
Actually, certain religious groups have to earn their
way to Heaven by "saving" people - getting them to hear the salvation message and be "born again"...They keep a tally, and believe that God keeps a tally, and first of all earn their place in heaven and then lots of bonus perks - some jewels in crowns, certain seats at the big old banquet table, positions of authority, etc. In particular, the Jehovahs' W group focuses on this. Poor things - they want us to believe that Heaven is for everyone, while they are busy earning bonus points - sort of like the old Green Stamp days, or earning frequent flyer miles! So, they don't care that they are obnoxious and in our faces - they believe this is what they have to do, and it has its perks in their sick minds. Poor things. And I believe this confrontational style in any religion turns away far more than it saves - even THE savior was meek and nonconfrontational - he never forced himself on anyone - but some just don't get it...though they will some day.
Floaters in older age groups
are not uncommon. I have had these over a year but they have been having little babies today it seems like.
Thank you. I hadn't thought of MSN groups for that..
and I am definitely getting counseling ASAP..
Criminals should be divided into groups SM
according to crimes committed. Nonviolent or violent. To place nonviolent drug-related crime people in prisons with hard-core inmates is crazy. First time felons need rehab. Prisons are just making it worse. Ever see shows about prisons in Europe? Sheesh, like night and day.
By the way, I've never been to prison in my life and neither has anyone I know.
Have you looked for local rescue groups?
Sometimes local rescue groups will help you to get your pet placed in a good home. I would do this before sending her to the pound or placing an ad.
Music groups you are too embarrased to admit you like
Anyone out there love a musical group (or person) but are too embarrassed to admit it. You know, the kind that your friends make fun of but you secretly say to yourself, I love that music. - Mine are:
Village People
Glen Campbell (Wichita Lineman) - Excellent video on youtube
Bay City Rollers
And most all disco music (Bee Gees, Super Freak Rick James, Taste of Honey, KC Sunshine Band)
...oops! Have fun with it. Alternate the pieces in groups of 3, mix and match
s
you can give the people the facts, but the decision making process should be left to the people
This is what our country is founded on FREEDOM OF CHOICE! I'm laughing already; you are just as mortal as the rest of us, and don' even attempt to that you've never done anything in your lifetime that was unsafe or unhealthy. NOT gonna buy it.
I personally only used it twice, I think.
I HATED sitting in that line. I would rather just save the money myself and go buy it.
I don't know why they are closing it though???
personally,
i believe you might ought to go to the ER. They can help the immediate situation and/or refer you to the proper followup. You poor thing. I certainly sympathize. Some husbands just don't know how to be there when you need them most. There's surely also hotline numbers that could help, but i don't know them -- maybe in your phone book? You could also try a church counselor. But i really think the ER is your best bet, for comprehensive care. God bless you.
I did not mean that you personally were --sm
hiding your head in the sand, but that some people do and really are not aware of what is going on around them. The world is just not the place that it was intended to be or what it used to be 50 years ago, but this is all predestined, if you believe in what the Bible says. Nothing is going to change evil. It is here to stay and strengthen until the end. But I do believe that we have to be vigilent in order to protect ourselves from it.
as far as the media goes, well, I think they tend to over exaggerate other peoples misfortunes just to get ratings, and that is not going to change either, but as far as them giving this guy his 15 minutes of fame..he was already dead, so what does he care? too little too late. It did not make him feel any better now and hopefully he is already toasting his little toes, right where he should be. Just my opinion though and I do appreciate the fact that some people are tired of this stuff and care not to watch it on TV. You shouldn't have to.
Well I personally would not want that either
Was this your daughter's first wedding? And all you did was buy a dress and show up? Wow. My mom was there for all the planning, advice, etc., and she paid for it.
personally, I don't see how anyone has --sm
time to watch this stuff. I have to WORK for a living. I rarely even turn TV on much before eight at night, but for those of you with the time, glad you find them entertaining. Wish I could be in your shoes.
Not personally but my
My sister was visiting in Boston a couple years back and, on a lark, she and a friend went to see a psychic.
The woman was 100% on the spot. She recorded the session for my sister so she could bring it home and it was really interesting. Pegged our mother for being domineering and manipulative. Got the kids right, both my sisters kids and MY kids.. I was nowhere near there.
Told her a bunch of stuff about me too. Said I was the "fixer" and would be a loyal sister and friend for life.
Then she also mentioned our brother and said that he is much like our mother, though he refuses to believe it, and he puts on "airs" to try to make others around him feel like he is everything and they are nothing.
I would LOVE to go see this woman myself! hehe
I personally think
you can place the crystal and china any way you please - it's your home, your style. Decorate the way you like.
I personally think it went very well. sm
This is only the third time I have taught this class. I just fill in when needed. What made it so good was that there was so much discussion. Every person (10 of us)of course had pretty much the same idea about what heaven would be like as in no tears, no pain, etc., but they also had differing opinions about what we might see or discover. Most of us tend to think heaven will be a different experience for everyone. We won't all see the same things. Everyones heaven will be different. It was also very interesting sharing with everyone some of the posts from this site. No atheists in the class but they found some of the ideas of the ones here interesting so that lead to even more discussion. Several people told me after class what a good job I did. Honestly I didn't do much at all. It was just like on this board, I asked a question and it just snowballed from there. Actucally I was worried that I wouldn't have enough to fill up the entire class time but we almost ran out of time. Again thanks to everyone that responded.
I can't say that I personally see it...
in my day-to-day life (thank goodness!) but I do hear about it often from my husband. For example, 2 people he works with are currently having an extramarital affair...this will be the man's 2nd affair at this company. He got the other woman pregnant; they got caught; got fired; he got rehired! My parents and inlaws have been married forever also, as well as my sisters (but my brother is a different story...). I just know that cheating is all too common and it is a very, very painful experience for everyone involved. My DS just broke up with his GF of over 2 years because she cheated...broke my heart for him, but he's rebounding great...thankfully!
Not me personally
However, my best friend married a man 3 years younger than her oldest child. They are extremely happy and married 20+ years later. Some men in their 50s are like teens and some young 20-something men are extremely mature beyond their years.
I believe it is easier to date someone your own age (or approximately) and a better fit overall, but this would have to be an individual decision.
Lilly
I personally believe that there was some
sort of tragic accident and she panicked and tried to cover it up.
not personally, but
I have a male friend who lost 30 pounds using it. He liked the process, said it was easy, he didn't have to think about anything, maybe a little pricey but he lost the weight & has managed to keep it off.
I personally don't think that....... sm
it is not completely forgivable. If it were, then Jesus' death on the cross would not have been adequate to cover all sin (save blasphemy of the Holy Spirit) and we would all be in a pickle. I'd be interested to know what the OP bases her statement on...chapter and verse, please.
Personally, I think
these things are more interesting reading the a lot of what ends up on this board.
I'm too tired to come up with a list right now, but when I do, I will post. : )
Personally, I don't even consider
smoking pot (or eating, vaporizing, whatever) an attempt to escape anything. I don't do it anymore, and I feel physically horrible most days because of it. When I smoke pot, not only do I physically feel much, much better, I am not demotivated in the least. Because I am feeling good, I am able to get much more done than I otherwise would be able to do.
The only reasons I avoid it are A) I have underage children and I do not want them confiscated; and B)I learned that my state now has a zero tolerance drugged driving law (which simply means that one does not need to be impaired to be found guilty, but is based on any detectable level of the drug or its metabolites in the blood or urine). Notable to me is that some other states that also have the zero tolerance drugged driving law do exclude marijuana from it. I believe North Carolina is one of them. I also find it outrageous that there are people who are attempting to subject citizens to roadside drug testing, in the form of a roadblock similar to seatbelt/insurance roadblocks. No probable cause required, just testing everybody. Many of these people are those who make money off of drug testing and have, in the past, successfully lobbied for workplace testing. A very scary violation of citizens' rights, if you ask me.
well, I do not mean it personally, but
after all this was a competition and Gilles or Melissa deserved the crystal ball, not Shawn, sorry!
I personally like TracFone
I just bought a new one at Dollar General a few weeks ago after not having a cell for a few years. It was only $20 for this cute little Nokia with a built-in flashlight, and when I activated it online and registered with an email, I got 80 minutes free. I had a phone number in 10 minutes. You never lose your minutes but you do need to buy new minutes at least every 2 months to keep your phone number, which works out to $10/month. I've had TracFones on and off throughout the years and I've always had a good experience.
I personally don't consider this harassment
If he had actually made a comment about your breasts or some other part of your body, then yes, I would consider that sexual harassment. Since you stated he simply asked if you had found a piece of clothing that fit, I would not agree that this is considered sexual harassment. Honestly, it sounds like you're just being overly sensitive and taking his comment way out of line. I mean if he had made the same exact comment about a pair of shoes or something, would you have been offended?? I agree that it was none of his business, but not something he should be fired over.
Personally I'd have the surgery
I know it's a scary situation to be in and a big decision to make but I would do everything I could to take away the doubt that it might some day come back. Of course there are no guarantees but I'd put the odds in my favor.
I personally like the lizard better. nm
nm
Personally I see nothing wrong with it, I did - sm
My DH's proposal was less than romantic, he had been waiting an hour for me and my family to show up at a restaurant (he was early) and by the time we got there he was pretty toasted. He said we should get engaged before we moved in together, which we were doing in about 2 months and my parents knew about. So the next day I figured he would not remember a thing. He surprised me by saying, well are we going ring shopping or not? We did, though we did not get anything that day, did the next though. We chose it together which I think is the best way to go about it. I had his input on (1) how much he wanted to spend, and (2) what he thought would be nice-- a marquis (he knew I did not want a solitare--but he leaned towards filagree and I do not like that, which I made clear). So together we looked until we found one we both loved and were happy with. The next day he sent me a dozen roses though with the note saying "Will you marry me". To this day he jokes that he never actually said those words to me. Then he told me what he wanted to buy me for my wedding band, a band of diamonds to match the accent diamonds in my engagement ring; and I have wholesale jewelry contacts and was able to order it at a 1/3 of the retail and also his wedding band which he picked out for himself. --Your BF needs to get over it, sounds like his ego is hurt though. Good luck.
did not mean you personally Hayseed..sm
I did not vote for 'em either, but unfortunately have to pay the price for ill made decisions in the present and the past. I know an awful lot of people who did vote for this regime though and are sure crying the blues now! Wish they had gotten smarter about 30 years ago! I know we have differing opinions on this subject. I do not agree with abortion one bit, but I do agree that there should be no government making our decisions for us...male or female. Unfortunately, I do think this country is too far gone to get it back to the true democracy is was meant to be.
I personally don't like Lakisha...sm
She has no personality at all! Does she ever smile? Yes, she can definitely sing, no doubt about it, but you do need more. My dh and I cringe when she's on. She's very robotic and unemotional. We like Blake and Jordin! We used to like Melinda until she started looking like she's 45 years old. She's in a league of her own, though, and will definitely go onto succeed, but not as a pop icon. She reminds me of Barbra Streisand with how professional she is.
CHOOSE not to take it so personally
The key word here is "elderly" - remember she is the one with the ailment - and she's not THINKING this might hurt Kimmie's feelings. She's frustrated with the problem and the fact that what you got didnot work for her - and she's probably being considerate in paying you.
Have you considered that you may be looking for reasons to be offended?
You can CHOOSE to see this whatever way you want. If you feel real hurt was intended then you deal with that directly: Aunt ___ I felt a bit hurt by your response to ____.
COMMUNICATION is a great thing when we do it - and it always takes at least two.
Good luck! P.S. what was the stuff you got her? I might be able to use it!! :)
Not personally myself, but a friend of
mine has used them and she says they work well. She has a cat who is older and having a problem with constantly scratching and hurting herself, so she uses them. Also, try putting catnip on the post or anywhere you want them to scratch. Maybe it will be help. Good luck.
Your welcome! I personally think Kambrya's a
.
I didn't know him personally
But he was not that great looking back then and not that into the ladies - he mostly dated one girl throughout HS and is still married to her today. She was not that great, either. LOL!
Isn't it funny what money can do?
I also went to the salon where his dad worked as a hairdresser for many years.
LOL
Personally I did not use tampons until after I had -sm
sex (17 almost 18) and was in my first year of college. My roommate used tampons, I had never tried them. I got my period at 12. The thought totally freaked me out, as I am sure it is freaking her daughter out. It was uncalled for to discuss that in front of the whole class. The teacher should have spoken to her privately, and the girl should/could have explained why she was not able/want to use tampons (first period, etc.) The teacher should have a bit more sensitivity and should be called to the carpet for it.
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