I've had 2 teen boys and my suggestion is to
Posted By: sm on 2007-04-19
In Reply to: Teen fashion emergency! :) SM - Chickadee
take him to SuperCuts where for really cheap you can get him a hip cut. Have him look at the books/magazines and then ask the stylist for her opinion depending on his face structure, hair type, etc. Next, I would go to Target for his clothes - they are a little more expensive but classy - WalMart is pretty well hated by all teens.... he would probably rather have fewer shirts and pants and have them be a little nicer...... and shop for some bargain shoes - Famous Footwear - or check sales and don't forget the internet!! JCPenney is great also - almost forgot about them!!
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Teen Sex
I understand your pain Mom; however, your "baby girl" is a young woman who is sexually active now. These are the statistics for teen sex today:
 Students who have had intercourse in highschool:
 40% of ninth graders
47% of tenth graders
57% of eleventh graders
72% of twelvth graders
Keep the lines of communication open. You cannot "regulate" your daughter's sex life. If you try, you will be fighting a losing battle. They will sneak around and find places to "do it." Encourage your daughter to have a female exam, Pap, and testing for STDs because that is the responsible thing ALL sexually active people should do today - not because she is "bad" or needs to be "taught a lesson about the seriousness of her actions." Trust that you have done a good job in raising her. Continue to be there for her.
Lilly
TEEN DRIVING
I just dropped you an email.
teen fashion
OK, I have a teenage daughter who tells me "shaggy" hair is in for boys--nothing too clean cut. Clothes wise, American Eagle and the Buckle have trendy stuff. T-shirts with graphic designs, artsy, music related, kind of off the wall bands are popular--check out Target or Kohls for these, too. Hemp jewelry, dark-colored sneakers, pants that don't show your ankles when you sit down. Sagging is NOT hip, but not skin tight either. Don't tuck the shirts in. Just neat, but casual.
Hope this gives you an idea what to look for. Good luck!
teen clothes
For boys (my younest son is almost 16) - American eagle is hugely popular around here. My son also likes Abercrombie but they are so ridiculously expensive. Dockers shorts - lots of good shorts at Kohl's if you have one near you. Also if he has a favorite band/bands - order some of their graphic T shirts online, let him express his personality. Kids that age love those kind of T shirts.
Those of you with teen drivers....
...how did you handle speeding tickets, punishment wise? Take away their keys for XXX amount of time, ignore the first offense, ground them, etc.
teen drivers
I made my son pay his own ticket which for him was the punishment. I have to admit I speed so we didn't ground him or anything. Hasn't happened since.
Teen driver
I made my son pay his own tickets as well. He might have had a couple, total, but he soon learned. He's 21 now.
Thank you to all; I have a teen here in my complex who wants to do it.
Thank you.
teen driver
When my daughter got her license I gave her my older vehicle and she was responsible for gas and insurance. She paid for her repairs, but I helped if they were very high. My insurance agent told me to put her on her own policy so I would not get sued if she had an accident and my rates would not be affected by her driving record. By her living in my home she was able to get my discounts, ie., two car discount, different safety features on her vehicle, and home being insured. This was a wise choice as she had two small accidents within a year and is now paying high risk and my rates didn't change, but my insurance would have gone from $300 to $2600 every six months if she were on my policy. She hated having to pay since all her friends' parents were footing the whole bill, but now in college she appreciates it because she knows how to pay bills and budget her money while her friends are always bouncing checks or calling mom and dad for money.
Teen Troubles
Can you say, "Dr. Phil?" If you are that desperate, I would definitely consider it.
Teen fashion emergency! :) SM
OK, please help if you can. My son and I are clueless when it comes to "cool" fashions. His friends sorta teased him today and said he is really uncool (uncool haircut, clothes, shoes). They jokingly said they were going to do an extreme makeover on him. I laughed at first, but then thought, "Hey! That's not half bad!" He is starting high school in the fall, and I would like to help him with a makeover this summer. He is a nice looking kid, just got his braces off (so has a really nice smile), a little bit on the husky side, but his clothes and shoes are Walmart specials. He is just a basic "boy" hair cut.
What is "cool" for boys? Where should we shop? What kind of haircut is cool for a 15-year-old boy? I'm so clueless!
Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated!
 Chickadee
I too met my "father" as a teen/adult.
I had always asked questions. My mom was always very honest when she felt we could handle it about why they broke up (he was abusive). He contacted my brother and me when I was 16. I met him, found out he wasn't my "dad" since that was someone who would have at least been there for me when I needed him or to even know so I consider my "father" as a sperm donor. I am glad I did meet him and have closure (like someone else mentioned) because I think I would have always been curious but I didn't pursue a relationship with him. My father-in-law has been a real dad to me but my blood relative father is not a dad.
I agree with what someone mentioned too that your mom may not have been totally honest, wanting you to not want to pursue meeting him. I was lucky, my mom never badmouthed him when we were growing up even when we had all these questions about him, why they didn't stay married, what it would be like if they had stayed together and everything else. I realize now of course my mom was smart to have gotten out at the beginning. Once an abuser always an abuser so I'm relieved now. If you want to talk about it more let me know and I'll send you my e-mail.
JMO, but having been a very wild teen at one time...
you really should intervene. Your sister has a right to know, it is her child after all, and to turn a blind eye and pretend it does not exist does your niece more harm than good. Take it from one who has been there, if someone would have done the same for me I would have been angry, but looking back now it would have changed my life tremendously. A lot of young girls today really need some direction, look at the role models they have out there, most of them are nothing to brag about! Good luck to you, you sound like a loving and caring auntie!
I have two teen drivers on my insurance.
One is away at college and is not allowed to have a car on campus. Since he's paying for, or has earned scholarships for a good portion of his tuition, we pick up his car insurance as a secondary driver on a very old Toyota that he inherited from his grandfather. My second son has had his license for only two weeks. At the current time, as he is a good student, responsible and working very hard at school and on some extracurricular activities, we pick up his insurance as a secondary driver, as well. So far, so good. No one has had any moving violations or dings. In fact, I'm 46 and have never had a moving violation and have only gotten two parking tickets (deserved).
We're very serious here about driving responsibility. The boys know that one speeding ticket and we drop them from our insurance like hot potatoes. No insurance, no driving, no car. No warning. Mess up once, and they don't get back behind the wheel on our dime ever. The boys also know that their father and I mean what we say. We're not rich, but we are happy to be able to help our sons as they work toward their futures. But we won't pay high insurance fees because of their stupidity. More importantly, we've been to too many funerals for young people who died in accidents caused by speeding. I think that because of this, our boys seem to have taken their driving responsibilities/privileges very seriously.
update on teen drama
I posted before about how my son's ex-girlfriend was sabotaging him receiving an invitation to Sadie Hawkins dance. The girl that "changed her mind" can't find another date because it is too close to time.
So she follows my son all over the place, but she has to be loyal to the "Queen Bee" and doesn't seem to have the courage to ask him again.
Four years is a long time to be incarcerated in high school. Maybe he will get an A in chemistry instead!
Teen Heart Throbs
Who was your celebrity teen heart throb?
Mine has always been Donny Osmond. I really liked David Cassidy too.
Teen heart throbs
First was probably David Cassidy. Too many more to mention. LOL.
Great teen stores. They are owned by the same ... SM
establishment (for lack of a better word LOL). Gap is the more expensive, higher end, clothing. Old Navy is less expensive and is what the kids around here wear the most of. Either is really good but Old Navy goes a lot further in your budget.
Maurice's is good and not so high priced, if you have one of those nearby. And don't forget about the old standbys like Macy's, Penney's, Sears, and Belk's if these are in your area of the country.
I feel like if I don't change the course now then I will have problems when he is a teen (sm)
I am hoping if I can find a way to alter his course, maybe it can go in a different direction. I know everyone has their own personality, but I think as parents it is our job to do our best to raise them to be the best adults they can be, and to give them a chance at having a happy adult life. If I just ignore it, I think I would not be doing my job as a mom.
When I was a teen & my sister was 10, my parents banned
We got around that one pretty easily. At 10:00 or so, we'd each yawn, say goodnight, and go to bed. Our parents usually followed not long after. At 11:30 I'd get up, wake up my sister, and we'd sneak back out to the living room to watch it with the sound way down. My parent's bedroom was back at the other end of the house, so they couldn't hear it or see the light from the TV. We never got caught, either! Hehe
Well, I was not on a teen-role model, not in the public eye
no one was looking to me and I got myself into trouble and had more sense than to know I wanted to nor could I raise a child at my age(by the way, not 16, older). I assumed responsibility because I took care of things, did not regret then nor now and never have. She, from what I hear, did not tell her mother until well past the time she could have gotten an abortion, sounds like she wanted to be pregnant. I have absolutely no regrets about things I have done in the past.
I'm not a teen, far from it but I get SVT a couple of times a year sm
I usually get it in the middle of the night and it usually lasts about 4 hours. I am prescribed 40 mg of verapamil, which I take 1 at the onset and then 1 every hour until it eases up. I usually end up taking about 4 or 5. That works for me, but then I'm usually wiped out for a few hours afterwards.
My first experience where this lasted more than a few minutes, I went to the ER and they gave me 6 mg of adenosine which converted me. They were able to see the SVT on my EKG, so the cardiologist was able to correctly treat me. They have offered me other treatment options, such as electrophysiology ablation, but since I only get it a couple of times a year, I'm not at the point where I want it treated surgically.
Good luck.
I am not letting my young teen marry an old man.
x
Next door neighbor's teen having parties
I am sooo sick of the next door neighbors. It is a mom and 2 teenage daughters. They have been having a party going on 5 days now. Tons of cars over partially blocking our driveway, loud talking and laughter, underage drinking, throwing their litter (beer cans) onto our side of the yard...etc. I just want to sit out on my porch and not have a gang of teens a few feet away. What kind of mom lets this kind of thing go on and these kids (boys and girls) have spent the night every night. I am sick of it. I thought it would end with today being Monday and the holiday weekend being over. But they continue to hang out over there. I just want peace and quiet like it is usually here. What would you guys do? I would love to call the cops on them but have never done anything like that before. I just feel like this is ridiculous especially since we live in apartment homes and not houses so our duplexes are very close together. 
I think what you are experiencing is all normal teen behavior. sm
I can't think of anyone that I hung around with in my teens that didn't run away. Trust me ---- they ALWAYS COME BACK.
OMG, we did that with our teen kids one year. Unavoidable. Miserable
s
I'd give the teen whatever you spend on shirts for the younger one &
s
Aqua-Teen Hunger Force's Ignot and Err.
I could never explain the cartoon...it's something you have to see to believe and have an incredibly warped sense of humor to enjoy.
Then I probably wouldn’t post about teen having okayed premarital sex
on this post. Everything is game when you post as far as I am concerned. Keep it to yourself if you don’t want others to comment. sex at 16 is statuatory rape in my state and if it had knowingly happened with my child, I would not buy them BCPs, rather had taken a legal course. I really can say what I think, thank you.
My teen daughter has this, too. We're trying the dermatologist next. OTC stuff isn't cutting i
v
Teen girls accused of setting kitten on fire (sm)
This article made my stomach roll. Maximum penalty (yeah, right) is 3 years in solitary confinement. Personally, I think they should be publically whipped until they scream and then whipped until they stop screaming...but that's just me.
"A boy and his friend said they saw the smoke and heard the cat shrieking while the girls laughed."
http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/13708685/detail.html?rss=dgo&psp=news
(cut and paste into your browser to read article)
Hubs did window cleaning as a teen & always got swamped w/folks wanting them
s
another suggestion
Is that you could have her front teeth removed. It doesn't make any difference to their ability to eat most foods, and they can learn to eat without them, and be just fine. You can read more about it here: http://www.rabbit.org/journal/2-6/tusks.html
I have a suggestion.
Explain to DH that he needs to go and get a second job so that you can take of the children. It sounds as though he does not really want to help with the children, so maybe he should work the second job, and you just work one job, which will free you up to take care of your children. Your post makes me want to cry. I feel so sorry for your children. You have to find a way to take care of those children and not work that second job.
I have an even better suggestion
you are asking for support when it should not come from strangers but from your immediate family but having said that, why in the world do you not see about someone to keep the children so you can work? Your DH is not helping and apparently you need the second income. Just imaged you worked at Burger Kings and keep a daycare/baby sitter/family member to see after the kids. No wonder job looked at unprofessional these days, holding the baby in 1 arm and typing with the second.
Definitely boys for me.
nm
My suggestion is...sm
Make sure it is a name the child can live with her entire life. I know the trend is to make up names or take established names and twist their spellings so they are unrecognizable, but I think it's a dumb trend and the kids suffer when they have to go through their whole lives either pronouncing or spelling their names. I often wonder where the parents' heads are.  JMHO.
Oh, and I love the name Kate.
Thanks, I appreciate the suggestion
The rug is already on its way....
If he were younger, or if it were only the one leg, I would try the puppy booties. But both his back legs are weakened from the patellar luxation, even though he had surgery for it. They are quite unsteady at times. Add the right shoulder chronic dislocation and it is really difficult for him to get up and down.
Thanks for the suggestion, though. I hope maybe it will help someone else.
Another suggestion
If you left out a very small amount of dry food at night (measured to make sure it is part of his daily total), would he eat all of it immediately or snack on it through the night? Maybe extra low calorie dry food?
My suggestion is
dont have kids friends over?
Here's my suggestion:
If the bride is very refined and proper, what the heck is she doing having a bridal shower for marriage #2 AND she's in her 50's? Tacky. VERY tacky.
I'd forgo the bra, get some good bubble gum that you can snap, put on some FM-heels, hit Frederick's of Hollywood and bring the most shocking gift(s) your budget allows - something to knock the knickers off her and those giving the shower.
Damn, I hate bridal showers. No, it's not my hormones. I'm like this every day, at least when it comes to something like this. Making people blow a weekend day to shower the middle-aged+ repeat bride with gifts.
By the way, Emily Post is dead and when she gets wind of this, I bet she'll be back.
Thank you for that suggestion sm
She just started a job (I know she is only 14) at my father's grocery store. This was totally her choice. She only works 2 evenings a week and will stop when school stops. I definitely think that is a possibility. Last night was her first time without a trainer. We keep a close eye on her for the next few days and see how it goes. Thanks to all.
My suggestion
My suggestion would be to try to find someone that you can talk to about this, a professional. I dealt with an alcoholic mother growing up who also liked to threaten suicide and guilt me into things - it's the nature of the addiction. Going to counseling myself and attending Al-Anon meetings were the best things I ever did for myself. I still was able to keep somewhat of a relationship with my mother, but the counselor taught me how to detach from her self-destructive behavior and made me realize that I should NOT feel guilty. In order to be of any assistance to your daughter, you need to help yourself first. There are people out there who can help you deal with these issues. I wish you the best.
((((hugs))))
Just a suggestion - sm
What if YOU offered to take the dog?
Dogs are wonderful companions to everyone, especially those suffering with depression.
That way, you know the dog is properly cared for and you have a companion to help you with your depression too.
Maybe they have just taken on more than they can handle with three dogs.
I agree with you that the neighbor is absolutely inconsiderate but they might be open to you adopting their poor pooch.
23 and 24 with my boys...sm
I used to be able to climb trees and did the iron kids triathelon with them....
My sister had her child at 42....the only girl outta 7 grandchildren....guess who's grandma's princess? 
a suggestion --
For that age group and if they are interested in reading labels, etc. - visit a book store and find a few recipe books for kids - there are MANY on the market - and have them help plan a menu or give suggestions of what they think sounds good. Of course Mom has final say and budgeting factors in etc., but let them know you are not providing a buffet and that if they are going to be that picky they have to be responsible for their choices and make some decisions/choices instead of just whining about what they don't like - also that they must compromise with other family members' tastes. Let them help prepare meals (surprising what they'll eat if they are able to brag about "helping cook it" at the table!) and be more involved in their choices instead of just complaining - may be complaining just for the sake of driving mom nuts! and yes, I have 4 kids myself - I know how they can be :-)
This is best suggestion yet. Dog is just going to
x
Another suggestion - sm
Sorry you are having this trouble but this may be worth asking about.
When you meet with your probation officer, ask about your son doing a few hours of supervised community service instead of the $100 fine.
A little labor may be what he needs to remind him not to do this in the future.
I have always told my kids they have one candybar in life (one time to get into trouble.) Once that's gone, its gone and they are on their own.
My son got a ticket for minor in possession when he was 16 and I made him pay the fines, pay for the classes he had to take, and any other costs that were incurred. Tough lesson for him but too bad.
He sure thought more than twice about losing all of his summer working money for one little mistake.
Good luck to you!
Okay, this is my suggestion...
I would let her take the swats, but ONLY this time. Maybe if she has ISS hanging over her head, that will deter her from being late again. That's what punishment is, right?
If she's okay with the corporal punishment, let her go for it. It's not like it's going to scar her for life. A bad grade could possibly have more of an ill effect, which is why you tell her NEXT time she gets the ISS.
Just my opinion.
just a suggestion...
I know that psoriasis and eczema are different things, but since Elocon works for your psoriasis and for my eczema, maybe what also works for my eczema will work for your psoriasis. Try Curel lotion original formula. It is the only lotion I can use. All others inflame my eczema.
just a suggestion
If it was my husband I would just say to him that seeing as he spends the majority of his time there and he obviously prefers to be with his friend than his wife and kids he should look at moving in with this guy. I would tell him I love him very much but I didn't marry him to be "second rate". It doesn't matter if he just wants to be with his friend. You are his wife. He should want to be with you more. There is always the weekend for his friend (and I mean only one day). So if it was me I would tell him that the deal is that he spends his evenings and off time and one whole weekend day with his wife and kids and he can see his friend on the other weekend day. Otherwise pack your bags and adioski. That might just wake him up.
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