I've been going through the same thing,
Posted By: Hi on 2007-07-03
In Reply to: Midlife crisis - siren
and I think I've found relief today. I talked to a career counselor at a private school and he was very encouraging. I knew I needed to go back to school and get a better job, but what? I have done a lot of research, and coding makes the most "sense" in some ways because I could go to Andrews for about $4000 and get out and get a job that pays very well. The only problem is that I'd still have a job where I sit in a chair in the basement of a hospital and deal with paper (or computer work). I'm 44, and I must be going through menopause or something, but just like you I am sick of sitting still and being bored. I want to move and interact and feel important and make a good wage and be in demand. After talking to this counselor he encouraged me that I could do it - be a surgical tech. He's been through the course himself, and had the same doubts, but his huge clumsy hands did learn it. He says he needs a career that is more in the field of counseling and he's now going for his PhD, but he convinced me not to take a course that is going to go against what my brain wants to do. I'm still looking into the details to make sure I don't have to take a bunch of prerequisites (sp?)like a community college would make me do, but I suddenly feel alive again.
I've researched many of the medical careers, so if you have questions, I may be able to answer. There is financial aid available. We can do this.
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Also one thing I've found
 is to always eat something crunchy with your meals - mine is often raw carrots or a few nuts. I have only about 10 pounds to go and it was hard, but I find I really like my 3 mile walk every night to unwind! Good luck to you!
What's the one cooking thing you've never been able to
I cannot make a pizza dough I'm happy with, and I can't tell you how many recipes I've tried. Regular rise; made in the bread machine; all-purpose flour; bread flour; it doesn't matter. I've tried and tried but I've never been able to get that elasticy dough you need for a good crust.
Do you have one thing that just defeats you, every time?
The only thing I've read about
are problems with microwaving with plastic dishes. Sounded like glass was okay.
That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
A cat is a natural predator to those small mammals and birds and I don't see any of them going extinct because of cats.
I do agree that house cats should be kept inside, but only for their own protection and that's only my opinion. My cats stay inside exclusively.
I've done it so many times -- most exciting thing
Wow, where do I start? I left MI when I was 23, having heard San Diego was nice. I loaded up the Chevy and headed West. One of many, many adventures I've had. I've driven back and forth relocating across this country too many times to count, taking my job with me where ever I go. Atlanta, Chicago, LA, San Diego. I've done it with cats, a baby, and a 30-year-old car -- everytime all by myself. I have a CB radio to keep in touch with the truckers and they would always help me when I would break down, overheat, or need any sort of help. There is nothing like seeing this great country of ours one slow mile at a time. Colorado and Utah are by far the most beautiful, but treacherous because of the Rocky Mountains.
As far as moving to a city you don't know a whole lot about, you have to contact the Chamber of Commerce for any particular city for all sorts of information about their town --- also part of the adventure. I always loved being a stranger in a strange land.
And fear, oh yes, but more bravery than anything. I've always told people that pretend bravery is the same as the real thing, just fake it and you'll do fine. If you're young and courageous, I say totally go for it!!
OMG - that's the funniest thing I've ever read!
Isn't that a shame? But it's not just a recent thing. I've heard of it
//
I've read the same thing about bathing dogs. sm
I have a Sheltie, and the Sheltie book recommends bathing when s/he gets very dirty or before a show. They don't need routine bathing. They need frequent brushing which removes dirt. Some dog breeds don't have oily coats, so don't smell. Sheltie is one of them, a collie is probably the same.
I recommend taking Maggie to the groomer for a good brushing every other week or so. It would be good for Maggie's coat and skin. The groomer can advise you when she needs a bath.
What is the MOST outrageous thing you've seen/heard while working in the medical field?
While working in an oncology office I had a heartbreaking conversation with a newly-widowed young mother of 2. Apparently healthy husband suddenly turned up with a brain tumor, which killed him pretty quickly. The life insurance company did their due diligence and investigated the case, since the policy was issued only weeks before the diagnosis; but the patient had NO indications of illness at the time, and the medical records basically proved the negative; he hadn't been to a doctor because he wasn't sick.
In the course of discussing the point with the claims examiner, the widow told him it wasn't about the money (although she was going to need it to raise her 2 kids by herself). She'd FAR rather have her husband back. The claims examiner said he'd far rather have the woman's husband back too...
... wait for it ...
... because if he were still alive, he'd still be paying premiums to the insurance company!
Yes, it really happened.
I suggested the widow contact the state insurance commissioner's office and report the guy. Even if what he said/did was not precisely illegal, it was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.
Happiness is a heart thing; pleasure is a head thing.nm
If you've got one, you've got bunches!
How do ya feel about cats? That's what I'd do...get a cat...but I love cats and love it when they bring me 'presents' of dead varmints.
If that's not an option, and you're not comfortable with baiting, glue traps, or that sort of thing, it'd be worth it to hire a professional 'cridder ridder' or exterminator. Those things will chew up your walls and floorboards like you have no idea and cause incredible amounts of damage. Good luck in your jihad!
I've done this 12 yrs and I've had to take breaks sm
Took a break and worked at my kids preschool one year, worked at a hospital one year, took a couple months off once. It does burn you out because it takes all of your concentration. When I worked at the hospital as a secretary I could not believe how easy the job was ;-) I was sooo used to just getting paid for actual work that when I had a conversation with a coworker or a phone call or took lunch, I felt like I was getting away with a lot! I hope your break works out!! I wish you lived close-by, we could take turns watching each others kids ;-)
I've been using...
Zicam severe congestion. It gives me temporary relief and I've been taking Singulair, but originally nasal discharge was clear, this morning it was yellow (don't mean to gross anybody out). Could it have turned into a sinus infection? And if so, is it time to see the doctor??
I've tried that...
I've done that along with changing my diet but still no relief. I just received an e-mail saying to try vitamin E which is what I am going to try next.
Thanks a bunch.....
I will try that too, I've had enough of this...sm
where to I go to do this, remove IE7 and reinstall IE6.
TIA
oh yea, we've been through that one . . SM
My husband is the type of person that avoids conflict, does not want to face it, because if you pretend it's not there, it isn't, right???? Yea. He was in counseling for a while, but never went back after a few times. He really felt like last night was a punch in the face, like it's a game or something . . . like if you look the part, you ARE the part.
I've been there...
Hang in there...
I have one, but I've only had it for a day
I definitely can't do more than a minute on it, as it REALLY targets my inner thighs. I can really feel it working already, but I don't know what the benefit is going to be to everything it states, i.e. thighs, abs, back. I did a lot of research before I bought it and the only negatives I found were about ordering it through the company's website. So, I ordered it through QVC and saved a lot of money. Plus I received it only 3 days after I ordered it with no extra shipping charge.
A few I've seen....
The Wedding Date
Must Love Dogs
In Her Shoes
The Family Stone
In Good Company
What's the most you've ever won? sm
How did you win it?
I've with you on that! --nm
nm
LOL, I've seen some of those!
 I admit it, I must be a pervert 'cause I think it's hysterical.
I've been on it
now going on 3 weeks and love it. I never use up my points and am always full. Best thing is you can still eat the foods you love. I only purchased the starter kit and did not join. I feel better and have lost weight and best of all I'm never hungry. But, like everything else, 1 diet doesn't fit all. I've tried Nutrisystem, Adkins,Right Size Smoothies, and Medifast and they didn't work for me. So far WW has worked. Also, you don't have to give up the "cool ones" on this plan.
me too - I've been doing this for over 9 (sm)
Same problem, and it doesn't go away overnight. Mostly my right (pedal) foot. Is yours?
I think I've seen something like this
But can't remember which one...a bride having her bridesmaids sign a contract, yeah right...I'd tell her exactly where she could put all her demands...geez!
We've actually done that (sm)
There is, unfortunately, an "out", meaning that if they have ever been invited to call (We refi'd our house and had been calling mortgage brokers, etc) they are exempt from the list, at least in New York. So it could be a brokerage or something trying to drum up business (not my problem)but all I have is an 866 number to go by, no name on the caller-ID. I wonder if you can get them back on the list after your business is finished.
I've been there
I understand. For 17 years I dealt with this, always feeling like I was never doing enough, if only I could do more then maybe.... I became very ill myself because of it. I had no life of my own, -- I lived for the next crisis, just like you -- and no one could understand, not even my doctor. I didn't find peace until I took the burden off my shoulders and put it on His--until I realized I had a responsibililty to God for my own life and I was losing my life, my freedom to find His Will for me and do it, to someone else's addiction. In this case, it was my mothers's. She was there night and day as well, no escaping. I gave up my outside job and worked from home too. I finally had to move in order to remain sane and THEN other family members had to start doing their share of helping out while I tried to regain some sense of self. It wasn't until then that she even got a clue that I had a right to my own life.
Your daughter, loved though she be, is robbing you of your life. That is not right. But I don't know of a stronger bond than that between a mother and a daughter no matter what problem may arise. One can never really walk away, forget it, etc. like so many will tell you to do. Inside, that bond lives strong. All you can do is find a way to deal with it, a way that is fair to you, healthy for you, a way that will keep you strong or else she will take you down with her.
For me, it was distancing myself physically and praying for her. I realized for all my love of her, only He could make the changes in her, and He did once I acknowledged how true the words are, "Without Me, you can do nothing." Now I pray for and expect miracles if it so be His Will when I have problems I cannot resolve. It brings great peace and strength -- and HOPE because I've seen first-hand how prayer made with faith truly does bring them and I don't feel like I am carrying the burden all by myself anymore and then I accept whatever He lets happen, realizing He in His wisdom knows more than I.
Talk to a therapist -- tell them what you've just written here. Again, they might have access to resources you don't know about. If their advice sounds harsh, and it probably will, listen anyway. Consider it. Your life DOES matter too. But don't ever lose hope in God. Ask for the strength and courage to do what must be done for the sake of the both of you and grace for her to change. Nothing is impossible for Him to do. Nothing.
Have you read the books by Melodie Beattie? They help. Feel free to e-mail me if you wish.
Oh thank God. I've been following this sm
and have been just sickened by the whole thing. What a pretty little girl. Such a terrible thing to happen to an innocent child.
N/T - That's what I've been doing
I've been watching a lot of episodes, or at least bits and pieces of them online to get caught up. Some things still confuse me. The new season looks really good.
I don't think I've met one since
I was a kid. You're right - it is a very alert breed. It could run very fast and bark, definitely running a tight ship, even if it was on dry land.
They are very beautiful dogs, and live longer than any breed, which sounds really good to me.
Yes I've had it (sm)
and it is very annoying, but it did go away. I just tried to get my exercise and sleep and do some facial stretching exercises where I stretch and relax my jaw and other facial muscles. I try to pretend the twitch isn't there, and pretty soon it isn't.
Hope it quits soon.
Yes I've had one
I had one a few years ago...not that bad, just uncomfortable. It only takes a few minutes. It's like a large needle that they insert through a small incision over the area in question. It suctions a bit of tissue out and that's it. Mine was benign. Good luck to you!
Thank you....I've done it...sm
4 times and my sons have done it once...They went through blazes in the south in high school with their long, patterned braided hair (they learned to braid themselves bkz I could never get it tight enough to suit them). But, when ridiculed by their coaches, school administration and teaching staff they replied, "Cause we want to donate to Locks of Love like mom, and it's hard to get a good grade of black hair...It's not just white kids that get cancer".  Cat
I've got to say
 That sex scene with the old girlfriend amputee was quite something! I'll never be the same!
I've done this...and..
I was a struggling single parent working for a doctor and in the 10 years I worked for him I had to get an advance twice. He was very kind and thought nothing about helping me. He also gave me a loan to get out of debt with a 3-year payback plan ($50 out of each check). This way he also insured that I would stay at least 3 year until my debt was worked off..LOL..so it worked for us and I ended up staying 10 years and I still do fill-in work for him. He saved a single mom's life..I would never ask a large employer, but usually small companies are very kind to their employees as they want to keep you..
If MT is all you've ever done, and yer too old for - sm
going back to school to be a viable option if yer already workin' a 12 to 14-hr day, then yes, we ARE struggling. The only way an MT can make money these days is to marry it.
Yes, actually I've currently got - sm
FOUR litter pans. I clean them constantly, wash out daily, have tried every kind of litter they sell. She doesn't seem to care, except she wont use the natural kinds. Feliway was an expensive failure. It seems to be more behavioral than anything. If I stand right there and say "Use your box", she will. (Knows she's gonna get a treat!) crate-training helped the first time, by the 4th it was fruitless. Called the rescue she came from but they won't take her back, saying she's un-adoptable, and the only choice left is to put her down. So, this is pretty much her last chance. Getting the medication into her is no walk in the park, either - she hooked a claw right into a vein on my arm last night. I advertised her for adoption last week, just to see if I got any takers, and all I got was a kid with a boa constrictor.
I've had 4...
I was a flake, but I was also a fertile turtle and a statistic: 2 pregnancies happened WHILE on birth control. The first time, I was a teenager. There is no way I could have had a kid. I don't regret ending the pregnancies; I didn't feel guilty, & I still don't. I remember at the time I was consumed with anxiety about the whole thing, but I never considered having a baby & giving it up. Selfish? Whatever. Sometimes I think the word "selfish" has gotten a bad rap. I couldn't formulate the thought of, let alone wrap my mind around, the concept of going through a pregnancy & making someone else a parent when I was 16.
The last 2 pregnancies occurred when I was on birth control and was married. I simply did not want to have a kid. Period.
For awhile 4 abortions seemed like a huge number until I talked to a birth control counselor at a college I was going to...she told me that on her first day as a counselor she had talked to a woman who had had 28 (not a typo) abortions. Now THAT is extreme. I don't think abortion should be a form of birth control.
I've never regretted not having children. There have been times I have regretted not having gone through the birth experience, but I have never, ever wanted to be a parent. So it's okay. Mothering, at least in part, can be experienced in other ways (beyond the scope of this post), & this is enough for me.
I've done it - sm
When we would go on vacation and still had milk I'd freeze it rather than pour it down the drain. It always seemed fine when I thawed it out again. Not to mention, I used to always freeze breast-milk when I was working out of the house or for babysitters (for what it's worth). Go ahead - give it a try. The only thing, though, it will probably go bad a little faster after it's thawed.
I've been there
I have been in your shoes. Last year my husband died unexpectedly at age 56, I literally woke up one morning and he was dead in our bed next to me (aneurysm). That started a downhill spiral . . . . since then I've lost our home to foreclosure, my car has been repo'd, and I lost my job due to cuts at the hospital. I can't begin to tell you how depressed I've been. I've had to make some major changes as you can well imagine. I am working now and starting to pull myself up out of the dark hole I've been in.
The poster above is right. You need to see a doctor. I found out that most major health systems have programs for those of us with no insurance and no money. Call their financial offices and just tell them point blank you need to be seen and you have no insurance. They will not refuse you. I found a clinic near my house that is part of a large hospital. I was able to see a doctor for a physical and get my annual Pap and mammogram done at no charge. They gave me samples of my medications (I have asthma) for a few months until I had insurance again. They prescribed an antidepressant which worked wonders and they gave me that as samples each month.
Move closer to your family. You'd be surprised how supportive and helpful they can be. My family has been supportive of all the decisions I've had to make and helped me through them. Spend time with your grandchild, kids can make you feel so much better. If you're not making much money, go sign up for assistance. I did. I didn't think I ever would, but I had no choice. For just myself I was given 174.00 a month for food and it helped out tremendously. I know it's hard, but you have worked all these years and you have paid into these programs all along, now is the time for you to benefit from them. You may be hesitant to take free medical care or ask for food benefits, but remember THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY and you will get back on your feet. It may take a while, but you will make it. Good luck to you.
I've been there.
I don't believe in getting even - although, whew! I'm human. I've performed several mental castrations.
But through quiet observance, being stuck around this person albeit distant, I learned I didn't have to stoop. Life took care of that time and time again with the fool.
Talk it out with the right person, cry it out, write it out as much as you can; key word is out. Find an outlet, running, drawing; don't bury it within.
the few i've known that had
deer as 'pets', did not let them roam free. Guess you'd have to call local (animal control?) and see.
a roaming wild animal pet is in grave danger, because their natural instincts are replaced with trust. Persohally I don't agree with keeping deer as pets, esp in a neighborhood.
I've been there s/m
If you feel you have done everything to try to make it work, then you know what you need to do. After leaving my ex and having two children, I received help for daycare. I was able to obtain health insurance from where I was employed, so that did help. Do not count on child support, as it was court ordered with mine, but he decided to go back to school and only work part-time and they can only garnish so much of one's wages by federal law. I would sometimes receive $15 for two weeks. He did end up catching up after he graduated though.
Back then (15 years ago) they didn't have the different health plans offered by the state, but depending on where you live, here in Michigan they have MI-Child for those who qualify. It is a great program. $10 a month and everything is covered. That would at least get your kids covered.
You need to believe in yourself and set your mind to it. It will be a rough road, but it is possible.
Best of luck to you.
You've done all you can...
It is up to her. She is a grown woman who should not be acting that way. You invited her, but also told her that it was okay if she didn't want to come. I would just drop it. It would do her some good not to have people seeking her out. Let her come to YOU this time. You've done the best you could. Merry Christmas :-)
I've been going since I was 15, and 36 now. sm
I've tried MANY different chiropractors from different schools (the philosophies and approaches vary from chiro school to school). While I enjoyed the ones I went to twice per week indefinitely, I found I was becoming SO loose that i would fall out of alignment EASIER, which is counterproductive. My current DC whom I've been with for 4+ years now has me on a once-per-month schedule, unless I have a spasm attack and then that is p.r.n., usually once to twice per week x2. It takes some trial and error to find what's right for your situation. I have scoliosis and am more prone to spasms and will never fully 'heal' so mine TX is continuous maintenance. Don't be afraid to speak up!
Yes, I've done that. nm
x
I've done that before.
I've found that usually mine just curl up and go to sleep. They usually like the dark warm spot to snooze. If he had been in real distress, he'd have meowed or even howled when you called him. LOL, but I'm sure he stalked out like he had been mistreated really bad. The worse I ever heard was I worked with a really air-headed girl who had gotten her first kitten. She couldn't find the cat, got really stressed out, and decided to have a cold beer and try to calm down. Opened the fridge and lo and behold, who was sitting on the bottom shelf? Kitty! Seems she had went into the fridge a little earlier for something, was talking on the phone and not paying attentoin, and figures the cat must have jumped in there then.
I've done that before.
I've found that usually mine just curl up and go to sleep. They usually like the dark warm spot to snooze. If he had been in real distress, he'd have meowed or even howled when you called him. LOL, but I'm sure he stalked out like he had been mistreated really bad. The worse I ever heard was I worked with a really air-headed girl who had gotten her first kitten. She couldn't find the cat, got really stressed out, and decided to have a cold beer and try to calm down. Opened the fridge and lo and behold, who was sitting on the bottom shelf? Kitty! Seems she had went into the fridge a little earlier for something, was talking on the phone and not paying attentoin, and figures the cat must have jumped in there then.
I've tried that.
My cats just look at me and I know they're thinking, "that's okay. I'll just wait until you're not around."
Plus I have a couple that actually like to play in water. Go figure.
I've not had one............ sm
but here is a link to discussions about it. Hope this helps some.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/280333
I've been where you are....
the first several times my NOW EX threatened to kill himself, it scared me to death. His behavior disrupted our entire household making our children suffer greatly- not to mention the burden he placed on the neighborhood, the medical community, and local law enforcement. The emabarrasment and humiliation and anger eventually drove me over the edge. The last time he pulled that stunt with me, he was threatening to slit his wrists. I was completely numb and totally drained, I didn't care anymore. I told him to go right ahead but to please go to the bathroom, get in the tub (so the blood would be contained to one area)and to please be sure he did it right by cutting an artery - and I actually demonstrated to him where to cut. He was so shocked and confused, his whole demeanor changed and the suicide threats ceased. My ex is an alcoholic, drug addict, (probably bipolar), and he was physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive towards me. He is a very manipulative person.
Fortunately, he didn't follow through on his threats. I don't know what I would've done if he had actually killed himself. SO PLEASE UNDERSTAND: I DO NOT RECOMMEND ANYONE DO THIS. The threat of suicide is not something to be taken lightly. I am only sharing my story with you because I understand your frustration and I know what it is like to be in your shoes. I was scared to leave him, scared to be without him, I wanted us to work as a family. Familiarity of what I was living in and the fear of change or the unknown kept me and our two young sons captive in insanity for several years. I got to the point where I knew I had to do something to get some normalcy in our lives; so I finally got the courage up to get out of that miserable situation. That was 15+ years ago. Life is so much better. Oh, and he is still alive! :)
I wish you much luck.
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