I'm telling you after years of living with the same family - they figure things out! sm
Posted By: OP on 2008-01-03
In Reply to: Oh but don't you understand, just like my children - trose
For example, he knows that if I am going somewhere with the kids, he probably can't go, but if he sees that I am alone and pick up my keys, he heads for the door with that look in his eyes! It's like he is trying his best to convey a telepathic message - "I want to go!!"
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Community living versus single-family dwelling
I was raised in a large single-family home, although it was on a cul-de-sac and there were no other girls my age in the neighborhhood. That was okay for me at the time because I was a tomboy (and because that was decades ago!). I didn't attend school with the kids on my street. I went to a private school where my mom was a teacher.
Now, I am raising my granddaughter in an apartment community (I was already in an apartment when she came to live with me). Because of my financial situation and the area in which I live and the schools I want her to attend, there is no possible way for me to purchase a home for the two of us. My own kids lived in a single-family neighborhood before my divorce, then lived in a mobile home (double-wide trailer...common in these parts of the woods).
I have so many conflicts about how children feel about the type of living arrangements they have, i.e., a _real house_ versus an apartment complex versus a mobile home community. Personally, I would rather rent an apartment and not be responsible for reparis, but that means a constant turnover of other kids for my GD to relate to, which is also the situation in an apartment complex. I don't want to buy a mobile home - which is what I qualify for grants, subsidies and low-interest loans in this area - so she can go to a better school. Would this cause her to be more shame in her personal relationships with other kids at school than a mobile home community??
I would rather live in a townhome or condo, but that won't happen for some years to come. Since I would be a first-time buyer, there are grants I would qualify for, just no financing because of the high cost of single-family homes and for TH/condos in the area where I want her to attend school.
Can anyone offer advice or experiences about growing up in a multi-family community such as an apartment complex...mobile homes (I know how my own kids felt about it now in hindsight)..versus a condo/townhome or single-family home? I have some time to try to put things together before she starts school, so I am trying to decide what the best course of action for her sake. If I decide to move, it will be to plant roots for the two of us for a long time, so I want to try to make the best decision possible.
Thanks for any input!
Been with my man for 16 years, living together 8..
11 years and your still living on his land
and talking about moving on to your mothers land. Here's a thought, buy land from him, or buy land from her and then its YOUR land. Better yet, move away completely and stand on your own two feet.
I have been living that life for the last 2 years. Very familiar story. SM
I have two kids at home and a baby on the way. My husband keeps gettign laid of jobs due to slow business Just got word that after Christmas he will be laid off again. As it is, we can barely afford to feed the family... so dont know what we will do come January when we lose his income.
There are no jobs for him to apply to. We do not qualify for unemployment for some reason....
And its not like we are lazy or bad people. All we do is work. I work 3 different jobs for 3 different MT companies. I wake up 2 hours before the kids go to school, work while they are in school, and even have to make up soem time at nigth when everyone is sleeping. That in addition to my husband's job... we can barely, and I mean barely make it...
Then I spend the rest of my free time cleaning the house, doing dishes, laundry, errands, bills, homework with the kids. Im pregnant and should be getting more rest. HA!! What a joke.
And I know all about the bank fees. We pay probably 100-200 a month in fees becuase when you live paycheck to paycheck it is just something that happens.. Sorry folks... Its not about being good a balancing your checkbook... not in these times. We have to play russian roulette with the monies sometimes.
My husband and myself do not have insurnace. I do now through Medicade because I am pregnant. We were hoping to drop the Medicaid when my husband's insurance kicked in... but he got laid off before that happened. My kids have CHIP, so that is good... But I am down to my last pair of contacts and I havent taken them out in 2 months because I do not have the extra 100 dollars to make an appt and then 50 for the contacts.
The school hits us up for $$$ every week for this, that, and the other thing... which all that does is take food off our plates. If one of my kids loses a shoe or needs a winter jacket, etc.... it puts us out.
Not to mention on top of all of that... My brother-in-law was in a car accident in a car he bought from my husband, but never took the time to put it in his name, and now it is back on us. We have 30 days to come up with 4000 dollars or my they take my husband's license away. Sounds crazy huh? Lawyers say they cannot do that... but they say they can...(the insurance company), but who has money to pay the lawyer for the help?? Not us.
I could go on and on and on and on and on and on.. LIke how it is Christmas, which is hard enough, but on Dec 31st it is my daughter's b-day and then just 3 weeks later it is my other daughter's birthday... How I am going to give them a nice birthday is beyond me...
Anyway, you are not alone!!!!! Of course I have never thought about suicide. That is not an option for me and I cant imagine ever would be...
If you think that way, you need some medication and therapy real quick!!!!!! Other than that, what is the worst that can happen? There has got to be help somewhere... food stamps??? I am going to look into them myself... I might have to skip on paying rent this month... and hope the landlord understands...
Come January 20th, I hope some good things start to happen and we can be on the road to a brighter future... but until then... we have to ride it out somehow. How, I dont know. I just take every day at a time...
And this morning, I cried during my first hour of typing... Typing through the tears.. so you are not alone there either.
LOL, yeah sometimes you *do things like that for family*...
x
You know sometimes my husband doesn't want to go to my family things either...
and I have learned that if he doesn't want to go, don't be mad, just go without him...It is better to go alone then have to sit there with him while he is moping about being there. I understand your frustration and maybe your husband knows something will set him off and start a fight and he doesn't want to do that to you. Maybe he is really thinking of your feelings.
I am like yu, but my family moved every 3 years.
It was tough as a kid to grow up like that, but due to exentuating circumstances, I have moved my kids a lot, too. It stinks!
I see by your birthdate that you weren't trying to raise a family during the Regan years -sm
We were lucky, my DH never lost his job, but the town we lived in had about a 75% foreclosure rate with vacant houses and most of the businesses closed down.
We ate a lot of Hamburger Helper, mac & cheese, Rice A Roni, and Top Ramen. My 3 kids got their clothes and shoes at thrift stores, I went without. DH went without. We would have qualified for food stamps, but the state couldn't afford to have a program. Oh, and after Regan failed to get the school lunch program dumped completely he wanted ketchup declared a vegetable.
There was no question of me working - first there were no jobs, and second anything I earned plus some would have gone to daycare. Doctor and dentist visits were just about nonexistent because we couldn't afford insurance.
After that hellish 8 years things slowly got better until W, and wow, it's like Deja Vu all over again! Ain't it great?
Family is great but I am never back in my hometown where family is... So I always have extended fami
You can always pick your friends your stuck with your family. An Xmas for me is where my husband and kids come home to. It is what you make it!
Summer. Friends or family? Family. Tired or Awake?
x
I've heard good things and about things about taking prednisone. My mom was on it for SM
for awhile and it made her look so swollen. I sympathize with you.
Big difference between family values and family jewels, eh? lol
LOL. I love this show. I think Gene and Shannon and her sister are a riot! What characters. It really is amazing to me the kids seem so laid back and so normal. They seem like great kids.
Does your family still do the early Sunday dinner w/family?
s
by telling someone --sm
they are not going to heaven, you are judging that person. It is not up to you to decide whether they are or are not and it is surely not your place to say that to them. How hurtful. sorry. JMO.
telling my age!
 I was at work, a good friend came running into my office crying "he's dead, he's dead" and I thought it was a coworker! I STILL love E.P. and watched a 2 hour special on t.v. about him a couple of nights ago. What a guy!
Yes, and I'm telling my mom on you nm
x
That's what I keep telling myself.
They must be good for me, right? LOL!!!
I'm telling you
It's one of the few things that's as good as I remembered it to be. Maybe the only thing. ; )
SIL family, us and another family snacked,played
x
what I cannot figure out
I cannot figure out why the judge will not do the DNA swab on the baby and get that part of it over with. Why make Burkhardt suffer, not knowing for sure?
How do you figure?
The Bible states a mark but that can be interpreted many ways. This was written in a time when all the technology we have now wasn't know.
But just as food for thought, the implantable tracking chip is already here and approved by the FDA- so far it is voluntary but they are talking about using it to track immigrants and guest workers. How far down the line will this become mandatory for all of us, much like this new national ID?
If this doesn't concern you you are not paying attention.
No, cannot figure it out
going to work to have money means then you start learning?? I think there are grades that start even before high school showing children how to manage money. It sounds really like she has been very sheltered and continues to be with you asking about how to set up a budget for her. Is not age 18 considered adulthood?? Take a step back and let her do it on her own.
:LOL, I am not the OP, trying to figure it out as well.
//
I'm still trying to figure out what
Hoffen Koos was supposed to be.
It really is awful how dumbed down our nation is getting. I don't know if it is just me but in the past when I have gone on internet dating sites and they send me profiles that are full of misspelled words and poor grammar it turns me right off and I am not even interested in finding out more about them. I hope that doesn't make me a snob!
How do you figure?
What does the N in LPN and RN stand for then? Nurse. At the hospital and clinic in my city, the only people allowed to take patient vitals are LPNs or RNs. No CNAs or unlicensed people allowed. Secretaries and scheduling clerks certainly don't do it.
Don't try to figure this out
Years ago, probably around the 1990s, when I found my backbone, too long story for now, I decided to go straight to the top when inept people were rude, gave poor service and how I hate stupid, but try to overlook that if possible. If anyone fits into the categories above, I immediately ask for their supv or if in a store for example ask to see the supv. I did this just last week in Wal-Mart when going thru the 10 only item line 2 different people in front of me with at least 25 items each, went thru and nothing said, well not until it was my time to check out and then asking the cashier why she let them go thru, she seemed to ignore me, no good. I asked her again and then when did not get the answer sufficient for me, went to the supv. I did live in a huge city and the service there horrible, especially gov. I now live in much smaller town and that sure is an improvement there.
Two weeks ago had run-in with cable person. Guy showed up, worked here in my home, left and experienced same problem. I called back and the guy answering the phone argued with me that I HAD canceled the appt for that morning!!! I was blowing smoke out my ears and had to ask for supv once again. It is like fighting city hall sometimes just for decent service. The OP apparently just noticing the doctor's places being like this. This I personally have dealt with since probably the 80s and don't know why. I know with dr's office.
I totally agree with Pulling about getting names and time you called regarding appt. I do that all the time because my DH and I both have had that happen in times past. I am a real stickler for time anyway as I do my line count on an hourly basis so have clock right at my desk and use it for verification.
You need to figure out something first
You need to know how long the dictation itself is in minutes. If you record an mp3 of your own voice speaking at a normal dictation rate of speed, you could go back and see how many MB your own dictation took up when you dictated for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, etc.
You also need to factor in the kind of formatting the customer is asking for (straight reports, letters, etc).
Does the customer know how long the dictation is in minutes?
When you figure it out, please let me know...
we have the same problem. The neighbors car radio and home radio shakes my house and we are on acreage, so their house is a good 200 yards away. We can feel their car coming before we see it. We complained to their landlord on Saturday and they turned it down for a while, but it is gradually getting louder again. They do this at 2:00 in the morning. My husband has to get up at 4:00 a.m. for work and I get up around that time, too. I have called the cops and they have received a ticket, and apparently three others prior to our moving in, but it does not stop them. I am irritated because my landlord specifically told me that "those people don't live next door. That house is vacant and being foreclosed upon," before we moved in when I said that I did not want to live next to people who are that loud. Sorry, now I am venting, but I really dislike my scumbag neighbors!
I keep telling this knucklehead,
my husband that I could foster some more animals. I have 3 furkids now but I have a really big house and bigger heart. He seems to think I have my hands full. I do not agree with him. There have been some animals rescued a few counties over and they were asking for adoptives plus fosters and saying if no one comes forward, well you get the idea, overcrowding. Just really gets next to me. Hubs says I can't rescue all. I wish I could.
re: telling kids
In our school system in 5th grade they show the boys and girls (separately) a course on maturation. We sat both of my boys down at that time when my oldest was in 5th grade and his brother was 2 years younger. We sat down with the bible, an anatomy book with pictures and we told them everything about boys and girls. Then we told them how God feels about sex using the bible. We feel we gave them balanced answers and they asked questions and we answered them in truth and honesty. They have no doubts or ideas about it now and have been taught to save themselves for marriage and that sex is a gift from God that you don't want to give anyone other than your spouse. Thats how we did it.
And you think by telling him or your daughter
not to see one another they will listen? She has not been listening to you so far. It will not stop there. There will be sneaking around, making up lies, anything for them to engage in further escapades. I laugh to myself when I see someone exposed and immediately goes to the doctor with my knowing full well how the virus works and usually at first does not even show. If people get a negative then they think, thank goodness, out of the woods so to speak- not true! You see with kids they do not think this will happen- having a blood test is really only for you- negative gives her the idea that she has missed the bullet so to speak and they, it is guaranteed, will continue on their way with sexual encounters, whether you like or not. What would you do if she defies you and absolutely refuses to stop being with him?
I had been telling MDs I thought
my husband had sleep apnea for 5 years. Finally his insurance got good enough that they would send him for a study. Sure enough, he stopped breathing 57 times an hour during testing. He tried the machine, but it caused terrible pain the first night. He showed me where it was hurting his nose, and I commented that with the shape of his short nose, it should not be hurting him there. So the second night he put it on for me and I grabbed the booklet to see if everything was in the right place, and I immediately pointed out it didn't look like the picture. Being a man, he had not read the book or even looked at the picture and a himself in a mirror. When I pointed out what I was seeing different from the picture, he realized he had it on upside down! Much more comfy now. Plus he refrigerates his distilled water to keep himself cooler. He has been using it about 2 months, and his body aches and pains are much better, especially his plantar fasciitis and his knee pain. Still some hip tenderness, but he is definitely sleeping better and now I don't get in trouble for coming to bed later than he goes to bed and waking him up.
Thanks for not telling me I'm a bad person!! (sm)
I so much wish that my kids would want to go - I would love to have her have them over as much as she wants if they were happy about it. That would be wonderful! I am kind of afraid to mention it to her because I am pretty sure she will accuse me of spoiling them or that I just don't want to share them but that is far from the truth. I want them to go - if they will go happily - but it is really hard to have them crying and begging and make them go anyway. I will try to talk to her though...we'll see what happens!
Your telling my story now..
I'm so frigging bored of this job I could scream. My former life was a medical biller/coder and at least that challenged my mind. The longer I sit here I swear my mind is become dead and I'm getting so fruity I can hardly stand myself. When I do leave the house, I feel socially retarded. Now, I can see why prisoners have such a hard time "adjusting to the outside world." I feel isolated and depressed. I've gotten a secretary's bottom and 30 pounds heavier. I am waiting any day now to hear if I got a billing job I am applied for and I'm outta this prison. I'm get PAROLED..
I agree with telling dad...
Think about if it was on the flip side, you would certainly want him to tell you. You know she is using your weak points to get to you, sounds like she won't be able to do that with him. Tough love may be called for here. Sixteen is a tough age, but one day she will thank you! Now that I am older, my sister and I both than our parents for the difficult decisions they made for us even though at the time we couldn't have hated them more. Go with your gut. Don't wait for something bad to happen. Hang in there!
Just a rumor and no telling where she may end up. nm
@@@
maybe she is telling the truth
would you scare kids with that???? There are certain things that should not be discussed with children.
The techie not telling it all because
nearly everyone today is checking a person's credit be it for a job, a place to live, and of course to get a credit card or the like. This is old hat really and something that has been going on for quite sometime now. Next question.
Your gut is telling you something - Listen!
x
If I can only figure out what she is meaning, then
it is alright. One time she said had made a cake from strap?? I wondered and thought, hmmmmmm and then she was telling me how you mix all the flour, pinch of salt and so forth and then I knew she meant from scratch, not a strap! She is a trip though, has been around now for about 14 years, does any and everything I want, including the grass if need be!
Yes, I married one, and he's from NY. Go figure! LOL
x
Still trying to figure out what woodpeckers
you have - one is probably the red-bellied because it has red head but because there was already a red-headed they named it because of a little blush of pink on its belly - it is big - looks more like a flicker. Do you have a pileated - with a red crest on top? I have red-belly, downy, and yellow-belly which I have to chase away because it makes holes in my Crimson King Maple.
hospital ~ go figure!
I have it in my Expander to autocorrect.
How hard is it to figure out whether
the doc is saying the first or last name. Some people will complain about anything.
well I figure if I don't teach them sm
they won't get it when they have to get out in the real world. If they are not going to school and want to live with you why should you pay all their bills?
BTW, what I did was put half of what they gave me away and when they left home I had a nice little nest egg to give back to them to get them started. But they didn't know I was doing that until the time came for them to move out.
In this economy it is very expensive to pay for everyones groceries, laundry soap, etc. I think its a disservice not to require something. Maybe not half or even a quarter, but something! I don't want anyone to wind up like my niece at 45 with no responsibility at all and living off her widowed mother and her fixed income while making 30 bucks an hour herself plus overtime and spending it as fast as she can. Oh yes this is also in the state with the worst economy in the nation..Michigan! But then I guess she thinks she is entitled.
how about being honest and telling him the truth..sm
imagine how he will react when (and he will) he finds out you have been lying to him. Just tell him. His reaction may be less than when he finds out about a total lie!
My mother-in-law is always telling me I'm anemic
because I like to chew ice. I don't crave ice, mind you, but I do like to chomp on it. I don't know why. It's something that I've done since I was a kid. In fact, I went to a high school reunion once, and everyone at my table started to laugh when I began to chew my ice. Apparently, it was something I was remembered for, and I had no idea!
Regarding anemia: Well, I've never been anemic, and so I always crow that to my mother-in-law when she starts up on her anemia rant.
These days I don't chew ice anymore (except to irritate my MIL), because my son's orthodontist talked to me about the damage it does to tooth enamel over time -- causing cracks and splits.
But, I've heard the anemia accusation so many times, that I guess it would be worth checking
I was telling my hubby about these posts sm
and he said we have to take a taxi, I want to get in the cash cab. So funny!
you need to stop asking him, and start telling him.
nm
My instincts are telling me you're right (sm)
He seems so genuine and grateful and tells me how much he loves me all the time...but I have a feeling that when I wasn't coming through with cash he found someone else who would. I know he really does "need" the money, but I guess he will get it however he can.
Be sure child is telling the truth and go after her sm
Be prepared though for the fight of your life, the school will stick up for her and your kid will be so labeled that you may have to take that poor kid out of there. I have been there. Some people should not be teachers, but unfortunately, they are and we all suffer for it. Respond but don't react, think hard about it first.
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