I'm sure he says those things while you're letting
Posted By: him kick the seat ahead of him @ the movies all ni on 2009-01-28
In Reply to: My 2-year-old says "please" and "thank you"... - Kendra
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Well...I am always nervous about letting my kids do things like that (sm)
But I usually let them do it. However, it would depend on the parents. I mean if the guy reeks of alcohol - how bad? Do you mean he drinks a beer or two on the weekends or is he a drunk? Will he be driving your son in a car or boat? If so, I would not be comfortable with that. I have said no at times if I am uncomfortable for a reason, but I always have to think it through and see if there is real danger or if I am just being me - a worry wart. I would find out if that dad is going, if he will be driving the car, if he will be driving a boat, etc. and make my decision from that.
Things you're afraid of vs. things you're not
I didn't used to be afraid of spiders, but I seem to have developed a fear of those little beasties. I also can't stand boats, water deeper than my hot tub and bridges. I'm also fairly convinced that UFOs, if not aliens (well, isn't anything driving those things?) are real, so that kinda scares me, yet it is strangely fascinating. I'm also afraid of El Chupacabra, though I'm very certain that's not real. It's one of those "hahahahaha" fears.
Things other people fear that I do not include snakes (awwww, they so cute! they look like they're smiling!), rats, gangbangers (except Mara Salvatrucha, move them up to my "scary" list), poverty, death, traveling at high rates of speed with almost anyone sober, bats (CUTE!!!!!), homeless people, Sasquatch, most of my male friends, bears, mountain lions.
Fear is such an odd thing, don't you think? So much of it is relative to our own experiences in life, yet at the same time some of them are downright irrational.
So, how 'bout you? What will send you running screaming in the other direction, and what things can you take care of when someone else goes running screaming in the other direction?
I think you're doing all the right things
All you can do is listen to him, support how he's feeling and if possible, try to distract him.
If you're having to pay for things now......
would you really want to continue a relationship that has already started on a negative note? If he doesn't have money now for whatever reason, you want to find yourself paying for more and more things in the future? I wouldn't!
Frankly, I'd call it a day. I hate to sound mean, but you've already said you have a child to take care of. You want a man who has health issues, ED, money woes.... right now you're accepting all this probably because you're newly divorced and maybe a little lonely to boot.
As time goes by and you get yourself on a more sure footing, I'm afraid you might find this guy just someone else to take care of and you already have a child. You really want to invest your emotions in that?
Why doesn't he have money? Does he have child support to pay, debts? He may just be someone who blows his money and has horrible money management. I'd personally take this very very slow and probably just put the brakes on this relationship now.
You're right., some things should not be kept secret.
Tell your daughter that you have to inform the other parent, then do it. It's not fair to the other parent to keep this secret. And, don't try to be a friend to your child, just be a parent, which doesn't always mean doing what they want.
Thank you for letting us
know the child survived. I didn't want to look up the story.
The initial post should have not only put the post in the message but also don't just drop a bomb like that and then walk away.
letting go
I am so excited for your son. What an awesome opportunity.
My daughter is a bit younger and she had an opportunity to go to Central America (which is closer and safer I know) for the summer on a mission trip. I received a LOT of negative feedback from family and friends for letting her go, especially since she is under 16, but she had an opportunity to be part of something bigger than her "what do I wear today" kind of life. She loves God and feels called to the mission field and I am sure this summer was her first of many trips.
I know it will be a real stretch for you as a parent, as it was me, but I had to trust that she belongs to God before me and God could keep her safer than I could. She loved it and grew as a person and as a Christian.
Hope that helps. I will be praying for your family.
Thank you for letting me know - NM
NM
Calling when going somewhere and letting you know
she arrived safely is one thing. Teaching a child that forgetting something once in a while is some horrible thing is another story all together. We ALL, and I do mean ALL, forget things from time to time. I don't care how many lists you make, how organized you are or anything else, we all forget things. It may be a coat, something on our list that we made or somebody's birthday, but we ALL forget things. My children did learn from their mistakes but, once again, not from cruelty, but simply because it was a life lesson. They are both wonderful you adults who work full time jobs and are responsible people. While they had guidelines and rules to follow and knew and reaped the consequences of not following the rules set before them, we did not rule with an iron thumb. We knew they were human and would make mistakes along the way and learn from them. Sorry this was so long, but this type of treatment of children really makes me sad. I wanted my children to know that I loved them more than I wanted to rule them. They still respect me and I talk to both of them several times a week and have a wonderful relationship. 
This is all about forgiveness and letting go
Obviously your husband has some deep hurts and a lot of anger. Forgiveness is the key. I know it's a lot easier said than done but it benefits the person doing the forgiving, not the "forgivee". It doesn't mean he is condoning what was done to him. Maybe the stepfather is doing the best he knows how, who knows. We all have our issues. Your husband does need to work on his anger and not bring the kids into it though. Prayers for your hubby and your family. 
Also if you stay away you are letting him win(sm)
As that seems to be his goal -I would not let him keep me from seeing the rest of my family. However, I also would not want my children exposed to his mouth, so if you cannot stay in a hotel,I would go and visit without your children, which I do sometimes as well. I see my family about twice a year, usually once by myself and once with the kids, at which time we stay in a hotel.
Appreciate your letting us know - mine is scheduled
x
I'm not letting my kids get a real
tattoo. If they decide they want a tattoo, it will have to wait until they're 18 and pay for it themselves. I said they are saving for the airbrush tattoos at the beach. They wear off after about 6 weeks and there's no permanent damage, no needles, just airbrush.
I think sometimes parents don't choose their battles wisely and that causes more problems than the issue itself.
It's not a mistake if you plan on letting him
do that every night. Believe me I know. We've had several dogs over the years and every single time we've given in and let them on the furniture or bed just one time - they take it as a sign that they are welcome there all the time. Now we have 3 LARGE dogs who think they need to sleep in our bed every night. :)
In my opinion - your first mistake is letting your son live with her sm
and you having "no say about it". Huh! You are his mother aren't you?
Not trying to be rude, I most certainly would not have any of my kids living with an "ex- anything" and only living with me. 15 and the teens for that matter are very tender ages and need their parents guidance in all aspects of their lives.
I have a 15 year old and 17 year old, both very athletic, and neither would live with a family member or ex-family member just for a sport.
Believe it or not - sports are not everything, but academic achieves are. We are in the hunt for colleges as my 17 y/o is a senior in high school. Guess what, they don't care if they play sports - they want their GPA, rigor of their courses and their grades, as well as SAT scores. Even if a scholarship is offered, in my case, football, they still need to meet requirements.
So, I would re-think the teen's living arrangements if I were his mother.
Letting person finish sentence
My hubs has called it to my attention several times that I do this to him. I really love, admire and cherish him and I am glad he has not given up on me like some of the above state. It is not done intentionally but I think sometime he sorta stammers and huh, huh it 1 time too much and then here I rush in. Oh, well I am an Aries and I want things done yesterday!
hold on....letting adults paddle my kid?
nm
I am not letting my young teen marry an old man.
x
I agree with letting him go...if there are no children involved (sm)
and you are still young, get out now while you can. Don't wait like I did. I was married to someone very similar for 15 years and finally separated, but now I am older and I have two children who rely on me. I would much rather have left him early on, found someone new, and have children with a stable home.
Letting a child about Santa isn't lying, sheesh
Telling about Santa isn't lying, it's a rite of childhood for millions of kids, as is the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I see no harm in giving my children hope in something so good as Santa. I don't remember being crushed as a child when I found out about Santa, I only remember the joy of waking up on Christmas morning to a full stocking and the anticipation of waiting for the big guy. We were so poor that I don't know how we ever had a Christmas but somehow there were always gifts from Santa, to me that's what he's about, not lying but believing.
People take really strange things far too literally, takes the fun out of the simple things in my opinion.
Someone putting that many demands on a gift is taking advantage of you, and you are letting them. nm
x
I've heard good things and about things about taking prednisone. My mom was on it for SM
for awhile and it made her look so swollen. I sympathize with you.
You're not 'low-class', you're FUNNY, & a good writer!
Which is often the case then someone is the first to cast stones!
You're surprised? I'm not. They're not going to stop voting....
as was mentioned in a prior post. Imagine if they succeed? They just may.
At least you wait until they're cooked! LOL...we're raw dough
s
Sounds like you're doing great! We're also making out...sm
daughter pay for gas and insurance when she starts driving. She hasn't started driving yet because she doesn't want to get a job to pay for that privilege. That's her choice. We're also making her pay 1/2 of the fees for the state required driver's education course.
Oh, just a few things : )
http://www.wakeupwalmart.com/facts/
my take on things
I went through a similar situation with my (now ex-) husband's family during the ten years we were married.
Your husband is NOT the problem, his parents are. You said that your husband tried (albeit unsuccessfully) to get along with his father. So, it seems to me that he *DID* try as best as he could. But, sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things don't work out. So you do what the song says, "You have to know when to hold up; know when to fold up ..."
Now, it seems to me that his parents are treating your children like "holiday turkeys," ... bring them to be brought to the table once or twice a year, but ignore them the rest of the year. Yes, that's pretty much what it sounds like, and my heart goes out to your children 'cause I know the pain they are suffering ... because of their grandparents.
I also suspect that the ONLY reason your husband's parents went to the event was to "stick it" to your husband, and not because of the grandchildren. When you love someone and are truly proud of them, you do everything you can to be part of their life.
The ONLY people who matter in all of this are your immediate family ... You, your husband, and your children. Do not let his parents tear you all apart. I think you all need to get into therapy (you, your husband, and the children), so you can work through this problem AS A FAMILY UNIT, 'cause you're the only family that truly matters. You're all in pain and all of your feelings need to be counted, by each other.
Take it from someone who lived it.
Try these things...
Have your husband do special things with that kitty such as giving him treats, having a catnip party, playing with interactive toys, talking gently, getting down on the floor with him at his level...Does your hubby have a big booming voice or thud through the house? One of my cats took a LONG time to love my husband because my husband tends to talk loudly and make more noise than I do. Fourteen years later, that cat still perfers me over hubby and still likes the house quiet, but there has been LOTS of improvement over the years. Be patient. All kitties, even when raised together, can have totally different purrsonalities! Good luck to you. :-)
Been there and things will get better.
Your writing my store. I too went to court over 20 times due to custody battle with a dud. After 4 years of being dragged in and out of court, I ended up the what I had before I started $100 a week. I did get sole custody of my son though. I spent probably about $20,000 on lawyers (4 of them). I wrote a credit check for $5000 to hold is escrow because I had to sell my house and was planning on paying it after the sale of my house. Well, the lawyer cashed my check and ended up in jail after he ripped off about $75,000 from clients. I was out $5000.
I also had a warrant out for my arrest becuse my ex took a notice I had to go to court out of my mail box. Being that he was good friends with the neighbors from h&#%, I did get arrested and put in jail for about 4 hours which cost me another $250 for the bail.
Keep your head up. It will get better. I haven't gone to court since 8/05 because both judges, the one in family court and the one in municipal court both told my ex to leave me alone. Everytime I get the mail I'm expecting to get a notice to go to court. Believe it or not, it wasn't so bad being in jail, a cell to myself, and away from the h$&% he put me through.
So here I am, had to sell my house, broke as anything, living in a condo, but my kid is all mine. The ex moved 2 minutes away from me "to keep an eye on me" but what goes around comes around and I'm just waiting for the day he gets what he deserves. My son refuses to go to his house because his girlfriend also took me to court a few times. He is supposed to pick him up on Saturday morning and bring him home Sunday night every weekend. So guess who has to give the kid money for the weekend - me. That comes out of the $100 a week along with lunch money, clothing, food, etc. I literally ended up having a nervous breakdown, 6 days in the looney bin.
Keep your head up, I know exactly what you're going through and somehow it does get better. ');>![](http://forum.mtstars.com/smileys/smirlove2.gif")
Yes, know all the things that cause
and mine is thyroid related and menopausal so have those things linked with that. I am trying- maybe just have not "scrubbed" my head hard enough. Nerves not a problem here but well aware of lots of causes, probably been working on it longer than most.
odd cat things
my cat likes to eat toilet paper, either off the roll or from your hand. She also wags her tail constantly like a dog...with no dog in the house. She also will only eat 1 brand of food and no treats or tuna; she will eat french fries though
could be so many things
go to a doctor. but where I live, the first thing I think is Lyme disease.
Thanks everyone. Gives me some things to think about
Hayseed said, "No more breads, pastas, rice, or taters....all the things we really loved." That could be part of my problem. We've been eating a lot of pasta, rice and taters because hubby can't have dark greens, which includes salads, green beans, etc. because of gout and on Coumadin for AVR. Don't know what else to make anymore.
We gave up coffee, now, too, because both of us were having stomach problems with it. Two cups a day was our limit. He can survive with it, I can't seem to do that. LOL
Dinosaur said, " I had undiagnosed diabetes and would just "poop" out when my blood sugar was too low (or even too high!)." Diabetes runs in my family and I've been watching my counts for the past 10 years. So far, so good. I don't eat sugary stuff like pies,cakes, candy, soda. Don't like sweets that much.
I was checked for Lyme disease a couple years ago because I had 2 tick bites. That was negative.
The only allergy I have is my home. Ever since we moved to this house, I've had the flu, colds, runny nose, sneezing, coughing, etc.
Guess I'll have to make an appointment with a doctor and try to find out. Usually I'm one of those people who has something wrong that no one can figure it out. When I was 40, I had mono (rare for my age group) and was told I was "borderline Epstein-Barr and Guillame-Barre [sic]."
I was also checked for B12 deficiency (borderline), Anemia (borderline), rheumatoid arthritis, etc. You name it, I had the test over a 2 year period. The answer? Nada. I'm beginning to think all these "borderline" tests are coming back to bite me.
Thanks for your help. I think I will make an appointment to get checked out again.
Some things to think about...
1. Your house payment probably also has your taxes and insurance added in. If paid off, you'll still have to pay these. Mine account for about 1/2 of my total house payment. Plus, 6% is low compared to the other interest rates.
2. Debt to credit ratio: I've had all of my credit cards increase their rates to "default" rates just because my debt was a high percentage of all my credit (no missed payments, no late pays, etc.) This will affect the teaser rates as well.
3. Your 401k is also probably earning some type of interest. Take that "lost" interest from money you've borrowed into account. That will help you better compare the interest rates.
If you feel you have to talk to a debt counselor, there is no shame in that! Just make sure it's a reputable company. As with most things, there are a lot of scams out there. Good Luck!
Try these 2 things perhaps
Some cats need more than one litter pan. I have 2 like that. One started having this problem and the addition of an extra solved it. But even before that, I would take her in to check for UTI. Some cats, particularly kittens, will not cry or behave oddly otherwise when they have a UTI. They will, however, start peeing in noticable places outside the litter pan. She may have also been bullied by a more agressive cat or kitten while in the litter pan. Some get territorial about them. In which case the 2nd one should help. Good luck and hope that helps.
It could be a lot of things, however... (sm)
This is heavy on my mind right now, so I will tell you the first thing that I thought of.
My little 3-year-old girl is being worked up for pheochromocytoma, which I know is very rare but could be a consideration for you. She has paroxysms of profuse sweating that come out of nowhere with pallor. She looks and feels terrible when it happens. She sacks out on the couch or mommy or daddy to wait it out. These episodes are done in about 5-10 minutes and she's fine. I have a documented blood sugar stress reaction (per the pediatrician) during an episode, so something's happening to her. She bounces up like nothing ever happened. We have yet to get her blood pressure during one, though.
If you look up pheochromocytoma, there are usually multiple links or references to other conditions that may fit your symptoms as well. Pheo is pretty rare, and I'd be surprised if my daughter was positive for it because it is, but her symptoms are quite like it.
A simple blood test rules you in or rules you out.
It's an off-the-wall idea of mine, but it may get you looking in the right place if you start your research in that area.
Good luck to you.
2 things
I always bring stuffing. We call it "outdoor" because whomever makes the turkey had already made "indoor" to stuff the bird with. Then I make cinnamon bread. My 2 specialities for the main course. Man, I'm getting hungry!
Have you ever tried the little things
you put in your gloves or socks to keep you warm - I've seen them pretty cheap - and I think they are reusable at least several times- could use them when you are really cold. I keep one of those bed buddys that you warm in the microwave on my lap - my hands get cold and I warm them every so often. you could put one under your heels or the foot not on the foot pedal.
A few things - sm
Absolutely nothing with alcohol in it, candy and cookies included.
No pornographic material or anything that might be considered pornographic by their "host" country.
No glass containers.
Chocolate or anything that could melt is not a good idea either.
Think that is about it.
things not like they used to be
in the old days, the store could have had him do work there to pay for what he took.. things have changed. . it seems like nobody wants to take time with kids (or anybody) any more. . have you heard the saying "it takes a village" . . I will pray for your family and hope everything works out. . I know how much stress you must be under.
Things are different-
the kids have taken over. I think you are not supposed to beat the kids but I be darn if I will raise my kid or a g'child and not have the upper hand- I will not be walked over like lots of people are letting their kids do now. If I did not switch, I would take everything humanly possible away from them with the exception of a necessity, that being a bed or a coat or maybe food. Families have done this to themselves for coddling, pampering, talking to and now what?
When things get that bad
around here, I go on a mini-strike. I wash my own plate and dish and only do my own laundry. Family has to do laundry/dishes when no clean towels or glasses. They shape up after that. For a little while anyway!
Any GI things going around right now. nm
:
Two things...
One, she's a cleaning lady, not a housekeeper...
Two, you didn't catch her "red handed", you don't even know 100% for sure that she took your drawers. Red handed is when you catch someone in the act, which in this case you did not...
Things to try - sm
Go get those huge bags of ice they sell at gas stations and fit in as many of those as you can into the freezer and fridge, then DO NOT keep opening them to check on things. I personally would not eat fish that had thawed out...Best of luck to you! 
There are things to be said for being an IC - sm
Yeah, I know there's no PTO, but having complete control over my work schedule - well, there's nothing like it! I've been doing this, with my own schedule for five years now and I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, I do try to maintain my own regular schedule - otherwise my work bleeds all the way from 8:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. I try to get everything done between 8:00 a.m. and suppertime. But that still leaves room for kids' doctor appointments, chaperoning field trips when the kids were younger, or even a little "special one on one time" with my husband while the kids were in school. Then, come vacation or sick days from school I can tailor my schedule to fit without having to ask anyone permission. Love it!
Oh, yes - I do get "Mom, can I just check something quick on the computer?", etc., and have to be firm about the boundaries that I do set because you're right - They never do completely get it!
Several things
Ectopic pregnancies are possible in this situation--the babies can grow on an organ. However, this creates a very high-risk situation. Babies have been carried to term this way.
In this case, though, if she has been 13 years without a period, I would wonder about a tumor, especially if she found out about her pregnancy with a home pregnancy test. HCG (what the home pregnancy test measures) can be produced by tumors, which also may correlate with a growing abdomen, giving one the false idea she is pregnant.
How did she determine she was pregnant with twins?
Things to do
1. Find a trainer.
2. Yelp like a puppy whenever the dog is rough housing as that is what its littermates or pack mates would do.
3. If you yelp and it continues, play ends and they go into their kennel. You control the play and that usually helps teach them what behavior is acceptable. No words because that is giving attention..simply stop playing and put into a kennel for a time out.
My oldest did this biting nonsense when he was little and we got a trainer immediately who let me see so many things on how I was reacting that made him think not only he was boss but that his behavior got him payback with negative or positive attention. I trained with her and even worked with her in her dog business for a while and learned a lotas
There is no reason that a dog should need to be "gotten rid of" if the owner is responsible and takes care of behavior problems in a responsible, caring and teaching way.
No such thing as bad dogs... only bad packleaders/owners.
think I'd think things through...nm
x
One of two things
Either your an i d i o t for putting up with it time and time again or your husband is an i d i o t for throwing away perfectly good items! Either way.....
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