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I'm not going to judge you. I've been there in the sense that sm

Posted By: Dear Abby on 2007-10-24
In Reply to: Need advice/please don't judge me - sadgirl

I had to be the other woman telling the other man to "get over me, I'm married." I would say you definitely sparked an interest in his life and it's probably been "fun" for him to know that he still "has what it takes." ALL men want to be someone's hero and you were/are his cheerleader - if he's been married for any length of time and he's getting to intimate in conversation with you then I can guarantee that she's probably no longer his cheerleader. Men need that. I know exactly what happened between you two as it happens every single day.
Sometimes the men (and women) who meet other people (whether at work, on line, etc) will go even further than this man has gone and will meet up with you, sleep with you and try to carry on a relationship with you for as long as they can get away with it. It is wrong and dangerous. I believe you do have very strong feelings for him.
The reality is this: He is married. Happily? Who knows. It's still wrong. You must, and I repeat, must pick up your dignity, look at your beautiful face in the mirror and say, "There is an available man out there who would love to love me! Lord, help me find him. I deserve it!" And you do. We all do.
Morally, ethically, anyway you look at this, it is wrong. Even if he were to leave his wife for you, you would be considered an adulter in the eyes of God for stealing another man's wife. You are NOT AN ADULTERER. You are a beautiful woman who deserves her own man.
Good luck to you. Do the right thing. As painful as it will be, you will be blessed if you let him go. He can't be had right now.


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at least you've still got a sense of humor
Good luck. 
You've got a great sense of humor!...sm

There must be some way to put parental control/lock on that computer so the kid can't access those tawdry sites. He's probably smarter than us and can hack into the pentagon's computer by now!  Cat 


huh? Judge Judy's been a FAMILY COURT judge...
.
There is not but one judge. NM
x
not OP.....but......Judge Not

he's a judge
nm
To judge or not to judge
Sometimes I think it is REALLY difficult to go through life without being judgemental.

Judge Judy Says...
Just from what I've seen, if it is in your possession, then you assume due care and protection of the property. You are responsible. Doesn't matter if hubby was too tired to unload. I'd stil make a police report stating it was stolen from their home to document details. then I'd take them to small claims court. Sounds like if the situation were reversed, your sister would already have a lawyer!
judge not lest ye be judged I always say.....nm

Here we go again. Judge not, I'm not judging. I am following
that is how I can say what a store should and shouldn't sell!
judge not lest ye be judged..........

the judge....an embarrassment to many

I live in Florida and I am so ashamed of this judge on this case - the circus that HE seems to want with the media for his measley 15 minutes of fame.  It is very unfortunate because he makes all people of his culture/religion look REALLY bad.  I'm totally ashamed of him........



they tried to get rid of this judge in 2004...

Judge Seidlin Takes Center Stage In Smith Trial



(CBS) FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. He's known to be the no-nonsense judge sorting out the claims for Anna Nicole Smith's body, but Judge Larry Seidlin has left many wondering about him and his courtroom antics.

For the past two weeks, the international media has watched the Broward County judge's handling of the dispute over Anna Nicole's body.

"It's a piece of paper that's purported to be a will, that causes me to lose more hair than I have already lost," said Seidlin on Tuesday, as he looked at paperwork provided by Howard K. Stern's legal team.

Comments such as this one have some in the legal community questioning how the judge handled this case. Seidlin has more than 20 years of experience as a judge.

Some of the expressions he used when handling the case left him apologizing, such as when he referred to Anna Nicole's body last week as "my baby." He later apologized for that comment and has since taken a more serious stance when talking about the body.

"We want to give respect and peace to Ms. Smith's body," he said this week.

Nonetheless, this is not the first time that Seidlin's behavior has been questioned. In 2004, a poll of the bar association showed that 20 percent of lawyers didn't think he was qualified for the job, putting him at the bottom of the list of judges in the county.

Seidlin, a native New Yorker, paid for his way through law school by driving a taxi and was appointed in 1989 as a circuit judge. In 1978 he was elected as a county judge, making him one of the youngest judges to be elected, at age 28.

© 2007 CBS Broadcasting, Inc.


.http://wcbstv.com/entertainment/entertainment_story_053160754.html


Okay, now what was up with the judge *crying*
I have never in my life seen or heard of a judge breaking down and crying like that. It just got more bizarre by the minute. I seriosly think he has some sort of mental disorder. WOW!
What about going on one of the judge shows?
I heard they pay the plantiff on the spot :)
I like the judge shows too, --sm
'specially Judge Judy. I like it when she starts telling people they are i*d*i*o*t*s, and the like. I really don't know why some of those people would even WANT to go on there and be subjected to her wrath! Talk about an anger personality! wheee.
Maybe you should not judge other people!!!
for 17 years. So, please do not judge me without knowing me.
Need advice/please don't judge me

First of all...I want to say what happened was not intentional and in fact I am quite ashamed.  I do not condone extramarital affairs in any way.  I have been cheated on and I know what it does to a family.


I met this man via the internet last year while searching for information regarding my brother and his death in the VN war.  I ended up getting in contact with a handful of my brother's platoon commrades and went through the grieving process of finding out about their ambush, how many were killed, who was injured, etc. 


One of the men in particular I bonded with and I did not set out to do this.  It started out as casual chats about my brother and ended up going into everything under the sun.  I had no idea he was married.  He talked about his ex-wife a few times and their past issues, but no mention of a current wife.


We chat primarily by email and some on the phone.  He would have me call him at his office.  I did call him at home once, but he was waiting for my call.  I started to feel a lot for him, I think like a close brother at first as I was looking to fill the shoes of my deceased brother maybe..I don't know.  I did the Google thing on him and of course I found him.  He is rather important in his community and profession and has been in the media.  I googled his number and found it was under a woman's name.  The next time I called him I jokingly asked..."So how's your wife?" and he replied..."What about my wife?"  My heart sunk.  I would ask about her and he would only respond with "She's a good woman."  Within about a week's time he asked me to stop emailing him at home and that I could email his office email or call him there.  He said his wife was giving him funny looks about the emails.  None of the emails were naughty or anything like that...actually casual, etc.  I just felt like our friendship had to be a secret or something.


Getting to the point...we have not met in person, but I am so in love with him.  He treats me wonderfully, cares about me, makes me very happy and I have not felt this way about anyone in a very long time.  I am a single mom.  I was not looking to fall for him but I have.  He is 20 years my senior but that does not matter to me.  He has said had we met 10 years ago he would have snatched me up.  I believe his marriage is rocky, as he stated there had been some tension, but he never goes into detail and I don't push him.  We continue to talk every week for lengthy periods of time...yes he is at work and does work, but I cannot reveal his employment.  He has spoken of meeting in the future and that is that.  He knows how I feel about him and he does not say that he loves me, but I am sure he cares about me to the extent that he can and still be faithful.


The problem is that our friendship will end as soon as he retires in early 2008, as I will have no way of communicating with him anymore.  I can email him at home as long as it is VN-related.  He has become such an important part of my life that I think about him all of the time and pray that some day he will be single so that he can be with me.  I am content with just a friendship because we are long-distance.  What I am devastated about is that the "light of my life" will be gone once he has retired.  I have told him this and he responds by saying, "you are strong...you will make it."  The problem is that I don't think I am strong enough.  I really need his friendship.  I cannot explain to you without going on and on about what our conversations are like, but we laugh all the time and share common interests and there are some really eerie coincidences.  I believe my brother brought him into my life for a reason.  Since he has been in my life, it has been the best year ever and I have evolved into a better person.


What do I do to keep our friendship?  What do I do to keep contact with him?  I truly do not think I will be able to get along without him.  He is a strength to me like I have never had.  I am so depressed because I do not want to lose him.  I know I seem crazy and immoral, but really I am not.  I am really confused.  I let down my guard with him.  I have no regrets other than I wish he were single.


Help me..don't judge me..anyone else go through something like this and if so how did you survive it?  I respect your opinions.  Thank you.


Link to a pic, judge for yourself...sm
Danny Zuko kissing a guy...who has been identified as "Jett's nanny," by the way.

http://popsugar.com/26542

It's so easy to judge...
people when you think you have all the answers. Isn't it? What happens when one hits rock bottom? I'm too old to stroll out and "just get another job". I feel totally worthless and alone. I am at the point of considering suicide.
No, probably not to someone with a sense of
x
At what point did I judge or condemn? Because
is a sin means that I have judged people? No, you have misinterpreted what I have posted.  If any Believer comes to God and asks for forgiveness of his or her sins, those sins will be washed away. Read my posts again. I never judged anyone. I know that only God can judge.  But, I can choose not to shop at stores that support homosexuality as I believe and follow what the Bible says, which is homosexuality as being sinful.
Laughing? That judge is a moron.
Glad you found his humor to be comical.
The judge may be a goof buttttt
In the end Anna nicole will be buried with her son and be able to be close to her baby girl
Have been approached by 3 of the judge shows before but
you and the other have to consent to both appear. Judge Judy, Joe Brown and Judge Mathis have all contacted me. It is a win-win situation for the people because the shows pay if you win so the defendant (as in my case) if losing would win because if found in my judgement, the judge show would pay. This was a previous case, not this particular 1. Each show has runners that go to the court houses and pull the different cases, that is how they get their clients.
The judge tosses her in jail - sm
Hope the link works.   Pretty unbelievable story.
Thank you so much - some of us are quick to judge and offer
I really appreciate those who have give good advice and hope to help my DD. To those who suggested it was too late, 22 is just the beginning of life IMO, especially if you have been in college and the like. For reasons I do not care to go into, my DD could not work while going to school and so now that she has her own money, well you can figure it out!
Heard the judge he just saw today
is a dog lover. Hope the same judge gives him the MAX. Yes, agree a piece of CRAP. He should have to endure the same thing he put those poor dogs through. It just blows my mind.
Judge Judy says an accident is just that and not
x
Well, maybe, just like I think the mayor should never write a judge
telling what kind of role model Michael Vick was to the chldren in Atlanta? How much he gave to the community? The news paper printed her entire letter and I was shocked to know she met with Vick after he was charged and then wrote a dang letter to the judge. Whatever he accomplished so far he has blown it in his murderous ways as far as I am concerned. I guess she is just not into animals.
You should never judge people like you just did and say things sm
spiteful like that. Would you say these things to her or to someone like that face to face? Shame on you for being rude like that. It's so easy to beat on people when they are down. Calling someone's post the most ignorant post you've ever read and calling her selfish was very mean spirited.
Thanks for being judge and jury on my situation, since you know it so well...

a few facts for you:  She hardly led a horrible life, she was adopted by a fairly wealthy family and had a great life (this is straight from her, I'm not speculating), she has siblings that she loves very much.


For someone such as yourself to judge me as heartless is going a bit too far. She was the one who found me, contacted me one day out of the blue after finding EVERYTHING about me on the internet, even knew when and where I went on vacation to see my family, knew when my father passed away, etc. It was my decision to give her up for adoption and it should be my decision on when and where we meet. She wants info on her birth father, which I have a bit of, but it isn't my place to disrupt his life by giving her this info. I have no problem in having a relationship with her, but things like this need to start slowly, not just jump into the fire and hope not to get burned.


You can speculate and create a back story to your own liking, but until you have been in the situation, you wouldn't know a thing about it.


Jesus himself taught us not to judge others - let he who is without sin (sm)
cast the first stone.  None of us has any right to say anything about how anyone else is living.  We need to take care of the log in our own eye.... remember?
God doesn't judge animals.

I don't judge animals.  Animals don't know right from wrong.  They are merely animals and they act on instinct.  If an animal possesses an instinct to kill a human when there is no threat, then that animal should be put down.  The life of a human is infinitely more valuable than the life of an animal.  Somehow it doesn't seem like you believe that. 


You can never judge a book by its cover, can you? sm
Simply amazing.  Gave me goose bumps.  Her voice is pure joy.  Love it every time I hear it!!!
A sociopath in every sense of
the word.  I don't know how he can live with himself.  Doesn't he have any remorse or guilt?
it actually makes no sense
to sell a sound, healthy horse at auction for a fraction of the price that can be sold outright. If the horse is too slow to race ont the track they can and are used in other disciplines. Its hard to believe that practice is widespread. When a horse finds its way to auction there are other underlying reasons..
Okay, that does make more sense.
Thank you.
That would certainly make the most sense,

I don't like her, but this makes sense to me.
nm
My sense of decorum.

Believe it or not, I used to be very civilized.  No potty mouth, no lewd or lascivious behavior, and no leaving the bathroom door open when someone was in there for any reason whatsoever.  Now my day isn't complete unless I get this sweet nothing whispered into my ear:
"Hey Kath, pull my finger." 



I will try to talk sense to the ex

Tomorrow's my day off, and I will see if the ex is receptive to reason.  We have real problems communicating about most any issue, his general attitude is "don't you dare try to tell ME what to do, biatch!".  It is the policy of his household to have all calls put on speakerphone and let anybody in his household at the time I call horn in on what I wish could be private phone conversations with my son.  I have repeatedly complained to the court about this practice, the court has ordered him to keep the speaker phone off when I call, but he ignores it, and even if I go to the trouble of recording/submitting every conversation to the court, they aren't going to do anything about it.


He is deeply involved with people (who I knew very well back when) that are paranoid hypochondriacs who have abused antibiotics to the point that no antibiotics work for them any more.  Since he mentioned their name when he barged into the last phone conversation, I am assuming they have his ear and have influenced him into this overreaction.  Since I disagree with his actions he is likely to become hostile and tell me to shove off, but I guess I'll try and see if there's any hope of making him see reason.  I suppose it'll all be about timing - if there's a houseful of ne'er do wells shouting comments when I call tomorrow, I'll know whether to try or not.


Common sense
I remember in 9th grade, back in the 1970s, we had to give a speech for English in front of the whole class. Mine was on first aid. I demonstrated several pretend procedures on a volunteer. Then my volunteer was suffering from a snake bite, so I was demonstrating the technique that was in vogue at the time, where a knife was used to cute the puncture wounds and so the poison could be sucked out. I pulled out my demonstration knife and my teacher suddenly came on camera to examine my knife. Not being a dummy, I had made a cardboard knife, colored the handle part black, and covered the blade in tin foil. In the back side I had taped a fine-tipped red pen. It looked real on camera as long as you held it the right way. That teacher didn't like me, and he spent a good 30 seconds examining the weapon, during my taped presentation, before he was satisfied he could not get me in trouble for it.

No, I was no dummy.
thanks. that makes more sense anyway
just like it's redundant to have prayer request and Christianity.
Ya know, that makes no sense to me
There are bosses and I expect them to make more than me, my gosh, if not then I would have tried to be high on the totem pole- I care nothing about running a business, done that before, am just as happy as I want to be with the salary I make and concerns me not that people like Trump and others make more- they work a lot harder than I do or have in the past.
That makes sense (nm)
x
Does not make sense to me
That is really very strange. Have they been trying for awhile? MAYBE...is it possible that she had been to the doctor, and he heard results over the phone before she did? Maybe HE has not told HER yet that she is expecting? Stranger things have happened, I guess. I agree it is very strange behavior. I sure hope all works out well and it is not what you are thinking, that he's hurt you on purpose.
What he needs is some parents with some sense (sm)
I feel sorry for you as his neighbor and sorry for him that his parents have raised him to be this way.  They shouldn't talk to him that way.  If the people who are supposed to love you more than anyone on Earth treat you like that, then how would you possibly learn to treat other people with decency and respect?  If anything actually needs to happen, it is that DSS needs to be called and told how the parents talk to their child. He doesn't need military school...he needs to be treated like a human being, then maybe he can act like one...if it is not too late. You should report this to DSS.  I am usually the last one who would say that because I think children are almost better off with their parents, messy house or whatever, but in this case, this child needs help.
this does not make any sense to me
I am not getting this at all. If my son gained 100 pounds and my husband made him do chores all day, I would think that my husband was trying to be a father to my overweight son. When my husband fixes the car, he comes in the house, grabs my butt and wants to make out. If I went and told anybody else that he did these things he would be MORTIFIED!

Maybe that is abuse and maybe it is not. The point is that the original poster thinks it is abusive. She feels like she is living with someone she is afraid of.

Consulting other people that know her husband may not be the safest way for her to handle it. It doesn't matter what other people think. I stand by what I posted before. Leave or don't leave, but I would not try to get a consensus.
now you are making sense! sm
I am not being mean, just trying to get you to think! Now you will have to call a domestic abuse person in your state or an attorney and ask what you have to do. BUT if you truly are scared, you can go to a "safe house" tell them your story and I guarantee they will help you. Explain what you have said that you thought you hd waited too long. Also tell them what the cop told you years before. They hve heard it all. I am just trying to get you to leave before its too late. Sometimes it takes a rough push but you CAN do it and do well. Don't ever get it in your head there are no options. There are always options nad always hope as long as there is breath and life!
Use some common sense
Just as women have things they are uncomfortable with, weight, breasts, etc...men don't want an ugly uncircumsized penis, so get over it and do your boy a favor.  Not to mention all the health reasons.  Sheesh!  My son or husband hardly remember the little skin at the top of their penis being taken off.  Give me a break!