I'm more afraid of dying before I have a CHANCE to get old. nm
Posted By: Deb on 2009-01-13
In Reply to: Are You Afraid Of Getting - Old?
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What if he's dying right now?
Something more TERRIBLE is happening tonight. That poor dog may be bleeding to death internally or already dead and because you're a coward to tell them or even make an anonymous phone call and you ASSUME the police wouldn't help. They absolutely WOUD go to the address and tell them if you made an anonymous call, if you don't have the nerve to face up to it. This is 2007. People have a clue about animals. Well, most of us do....
It does not matter people whose fault it was to that dog. It does not help him to exchange blame. If you have to play those human games, then do it later, after he's helped. If he doesn't have tire marks on him, how are the owners even supposed to know if he's hurt? It's not like they can talk, you know.
This make me sick. I work rescue. I see and hear worse every day, but it just eats at my soul to know somebody is sitting there "feeling horrible" and "doing nothing" to help God's creature.
dying
I think it is a normal phase kids go through. My 5-year-old started talking about death last year. When I watch medical shows on TV she is very interested (which is great), but it also scares her. She is afraid of heart disease now because of a show I was watching. I try to explain it to her also, but she is still stuck on the whole dying/death issue. I really don't know what to say, other than keep talking about it and hopefully he will become more comfortable with it.
what do you say to someone who is dying
A life long family friend has cancer and chose not to take treatment. She is in her upper 80s. She has other ailments and was once very active but now all she can do is stay in bed and hurt which is why she chose to let nature take its course. The doctors only gave her 3 weeks to live. She lives with her son, he never married and is in denial.
This woman lived next door to my grandparents and I used to love to go over there when I was little. She had a little dog that I could play with. She had a piano that she would let me play on. She had tons of jewelry and I loved to go over there and play dress up. She has been good to my mom. Mom lost her house and she gave mom a place to live which is a trailer house next door. To me that was a big thing as she always kept her stuff neat and nice and picture perfect and mom, Gosh I love her, is a slob.
I am thankful for this woman and she will hold a very special place in my heart but I really don't know what to say. I don't want to be unrealistic but I don't think that talking like she is dying would be right either. I don't know what to say if that topic gets brought up.
I wish I just new someone who sewed :)) Seems like a dying art
and what a shame! I don't know how many times I have said in the last 20 years... 'if only I knew someone who could sew!' I can do buttons and great at hemming tape and have sewn in the past but way too frustrating for me!! Good for you!!
My grandmother is dying also
She and I are not exactly close, we live across the country from each other and always have. She was never very nice to my mother so I had a hard time getting close to her. My brother and I are the only family she has left and of the 2 or us I am the only one that keeps in constant contact with her.
When I do talk to her I reminisce. Not about our times together but about when she was younger. She loves to talk about herself.
If this woman feels like talking do that. Or maybe she just feels like listening and you could tell her how much you enjoyed playing her piano and playing with her jewelry. Just let her know she made a difference in your life. You don't have to outright talk about missing her, but I know she will get the message and I am sure it will bring her some comfort.
Thanks for the posts on my furkid dying
I posted on the 11th and my little girl, oh she went by several names, Kitty-Kitty, baby, sweet lamb and my little girl, but actually her name was Emerald, died at my home the next day, Saturday 1/12/2008. She was born at my home 18 years ago and how I loved her. She had some ID keys that she wore on a collar and everytime I would go to the powder room or the kitchen, she would always come in, when I returned home here she came with the little keys sounding off. Now the quiet is almost deafening in my home. I have 2 other furkids (cats, both males) my husband gave to me, knowing Kitty-Kitty was older and when she died the others would sorta soften the blow. Nah, I love them but she was my baby. My daughter claimed her but "let" me have Emerald when daughter married because she knew my heart would break if she moved her. I went to the vet the day before Emerald died and asked if I thought she was in pain, was there anything I could give her - he told me a baby aspirin every 3 days and also if she were not sleeping, could give children's benadryl to help her rest. I never felt she was in pain and I held her Saturday morning for about 4 1/2 hrs telling her I loved her and she could go, knew she was sick and had been for several weeks really bad. I made her comfortable, covering her with a light blanket on a pillow and she died later on that afternoon. I dug a grave for her in my yard so she would never have to really leave her home. I will always treasure her love and the joy she gave us. What a wonderful girl and she was just my little girl.
my freezer/fridge is dying
Like an idio t, i thought it was my imagination that stuff wasn't getting cold enough or frozen hard enough in my fridge/freezer so i haven't said anything to the manager of our townhous complex. around Wedesday I noticed my cool whip wasn't frozen. Now my "frozen" fish sticks are softer and easy to break. Are they safe to eat? what happens if a "keep frozen" food gets thawed out? Is it still safe to eat?? The office isn't open until Monday and he probably won't get here until Monday afternoon at the earliest so what do I do with all my food in the meantime??
I have to disagree. Marriage is not a dying
tradition. My parents just celebrated their 63rd anniversary. My husband and I celebrated our 30th anniversary this past June, so no, marriage is not a dying tradition.
Sometimes, though, it helps the person dying to know sm
you have accepted it and they can go on. My dad held on until my mom said I'll be okay without you, I know you cannot go on any longer. He died within the next few hours of my mom saying that to him. We, too were in denial, and I believe that is why he hung on so long. Tell her what an impact she had on your life and how much she has meant to you and you will love her forever. Is she right with Christ? Does she believe she is going to heaven? In my grief class after my dad died, sometimes you don't have to say anything, just a "meeting of the hearts." Just go over there and see her and let whatever happens happens. Let your heart lead you.
It's the images of dying people that get to me.. you must be out of the loop
nm
I hear you- I had a friend dying of AIDS
that I lived with and helped take care of so he could die at home. There were times it was so stressful and uncertain that I would sometimes wish he would just die already. I felt like the worst person in the world for feeling that way but now I realize I am only human and I did the best I could.
I have a friend who called me to say her 34 year old son dying
this past week. I was shocked but this is a kid who has never hardly worked, looked to his mother for most things- she is on retirement and sucks the life from her. He is in ICU with cirrhosis, liver and kidney failure, started on dialysis yesterday. He has sat at home, not working, something wrong with all the jobs, but now he did have a girlfriend who worked part-time. My friend tells me he sat on the couch just drinking until he could not get up but continued just drinking, not eating, everything tasted like cardboard, he said. Well you know who was taking him the beer, right? The mother of course. Last Thursday my size 4 girlfriend had to carry her son (who was 60 something lbs) out to her car and rushed him to hospital, he stopped breathing, been on vent since. This is a mother who does the above, gives all she can and runs herself out to help her boys (34 and 34) but she thinks she helps. She has almost helped him into his grave - oh he is still very, very ill and may not make it. BTW, the girlfriend is now at the hospital begging for gas money to go back and forth to see the boyfriend and yet the mother has no real income of her own. She feels like she is an excellent mother also. Really sad to see this and so irritating at the same time as she really does not get it, the damage she is doing (has done).
My heart is heavy -I think my older cat is dying
It is hard to type or even see when your eyes are brimming with tears. I have had this girl since her mother first showed up at my door pregnant with her about 17 years ago. She is a purr girl and she has been sick, had a stroke which she recovered from but now a couple of months later feel like she is living on borrowed time. Not in pain but seems to be sorta stuporous, will respond when I call her name by looking at me. I have hand fed her water (ice water which she likes) and also she took very little in in the way of food. I called my daughter to see if she wanted to come by tonight after she gets off from work and she said absolutely. I hated to tell her at work but so afraid this ole girl is not going to make it much longer. She has trouble getting around so I am her legs now. If she needs to go to the bathroom, I will take her there also. I have her laying on 1 of my fav sweaters now in my work room, held her lots last night and today also. My heart hurts.
My oldest furgirl is dying and I am crying
I have just called the veterinarian's office to see if there was anything they could give me to ease her pain, should she be in any which I do not think is the case. I have had her since she was born at my home so it is almost unbearable today. The vet had told me about a week or so ago that her organs were probably failing due to some lab tests she had. I gave her some water with a syringe and even tried feeding her some this morning as I do not want her to be hungry nor thirsty. She is laying on a blanket and I have a cover on her. Besides my having her put down which is really hurting my heart- she has been with me all these years- is there anything I can give her so she is not having a painful death and I just don’t know about it. Thanks everyone.
dying tradition would refer to the new generation
x
Thanks. I think mine is slowly dying. It sometimes gets a reddish tint all over it and I think the
refresh or whatever it does through the different colors isnt working right. I do shut it off when I am not working but I am usually working except at night. I paid a decent amount for this so thought I would get at least 3 years out of it.
This may be your last chance, your only chance...
This may be the only chance--it may be the last chance for you to save your son.
My son started in with smoking pot and drinking alcohol at about the same age. I, unfortunately, was too soft, was a push over, and I, too, didn't want to go overboard. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret my decision.
Every time I hear the wail of a siren in the distance and it is coming toward this part of time, I cringe, and I wonder if they've come for my son. Every time I get a knock on the front door, the thought goes through my head that it may be "the knock," associated with the police coming to tell me my son is dead.
My son is 28 years old now, and he is not only an alcoholic (and a nasty, obnoxious drunk at that), he is addicted to meth. He will take anything just to get "high." He stole the phenobarbital that I give to my dog to control his epileptic fits. He drank 2 whole bottles of cough syrup with DMX just to get high and hallucinate. It doesn't matter what the drug is, he'll take it. His primary jones is with meth. I saw my son the other day for the first time in about a year, walking down the street. If he hadn't had the particular one-of-a-kind jacket on, I would not have recognized him. He looks like a walking corpse. His face has morphed, looking like the faces of meth you can google. He's 28, but he looks older than I am (55). He was, at one time, brilliant, with an IQ in the 160s. Now, he is what I'd describe as dull-witted, unable to reason his way out of a paper bag. Even his voice has changed. He walks the fine line between severe psychotic episodes and sanity--and he is toppling toward permanent psychotic behavior more and more. In short, my son is dying, and he lives every day to get more and more of the poison that is killing him.
Don't go into doormat mode. Tell your husband. Get mad. Do what ever you have to do--including having your son committed to a rehab facility against his will until he is of legal age. If you stay in doormat mode, you enable your son's habit--and it is a habit...one so well established that he thinks nothing of posting pictures of the crimes (and they are crimes, and YOU are responsible for what goes on in your home) on the Internet.
If you don't act aggressively and act NOW, you will be responsible for its outcome. My son is dying because of my inability to act.
Do whatever you need to do, including taking him to the police department--anything and everything. Once he tries meth, he'll be a goner.
I'll be saying some prayers for you and your family.
If you think I'm "too harsh" and don't do something, any refusal or inability to act right now may very well end up killing your son. I, unfortunately, am speaking from experience.
Is there a chance
he (and mother) might have mental issues? If this goes beyond family it seems as though he is missing something. I'm not saying it is an excuse but it could explain some of his actions. I always strive to understand where things are coming from. The explaination does not always change the outcome but sometimes it helps make a difficult decision a little easier to live with.
One (there are a few) of my family members I spoke of was my uncle. The time I finally decided not to put any effort to talking to him was when he told me flat out that I was a screw up because I went to college for 3 years and decided to stop going because I found a great job and wanted to settle down with my now husband, who was divorced and with a child of his own. This was shortly after I was married that I spoke to him and he basically told me what a mistake I had made. Well, here I am 10 years later and my life is very happy and fulfilled. I later found out that he's an alcoholic. I still would have made my decision but its much easier knowing that I wouldn't have exposed my children to his alcoholism anyway. I also don't feel that is something you can help someone with. They have to want the help themselves.
By any chance....
Did they do an I&D on the cyst? I actually went through the I&D for a pilonidal cyst years ago. I didn't know what it was, but my temperature was over 103 degrees and I just felt "weird" all over (the raging infection, I'm sure, wreaking havoc on my body).
Because it was "traveling" up my spine, the ER doc did an I&D, and that REALLY screwed me up. I felt most of the symptoms your SIL is describing. I don't know if it was a delayed shock reaction because when I went to the ER, I wasn't planning on the procedure, or if it was just an odd result of all of those toxins getting out of my system. I remember my dad being so worried about my condition that he dragged my mattress out into the living room so he could keep an eye on me, so I must have been pretty bad.
If she has a high fever with the pilonidal, or if she underwent I&D, I'd give her about 12-24 hours to recover; however, if the symptoms persist, I'd take her to her PCP or back to the ER.
Better safe than sorry, that's for sure.
Hope she feels better :-).
Is there any chance
I don't want to seem rude, but...
The fact that she misled you about the money and it's for her, not her husband...
The obvious desperation for $300...
The completely irrational behavior that defies logic...
Forgive me if I'm way off base, but could she have a drug habit and be desperate?
I certainly don't mean to insult your friend, so please don't take it that way. Lots of white collar people have prescription and other drug problems, no shame in it these days.
It's just that when people suddenly act extremely out of character and so very desperate for money that she wasn't honest about...well, stranger things have happened.
Again, sorry, and definitely NO offense intended if I'm way off base here.
Any chance
He's on probation? I've known people on probation who refuse to use their own address because they'd prefer to avoid having the authorities drop in unannounced to pay a visit on them.
Is he by any chance a deadbeat dad or in some other legal dispute where someone might be wanting to serve him papers?
I'd get the answer to these questions (and more) before agreeing to let someone use my address. I'd also suggest he retain a P.O. box if for some obscure reason he does not want to use his physical address for things.
Any chance a mouse is somehow
caught in the fan? Although when this happened to my mother's, it caused it to quit running and she had to call a repairman. On discovering the problem, she heard him muttering to himself, "Why me? Why me?"
Are you Catholic, by chance? :)
nm
Are you jewish, by chance? :)
x
**PICTURE of ER-MTs dog Chance**
I want his life!
Just got a chance to pass thru - let me
know how your appointment goes. I know exactly what you are talking about. I have to go to sleep on my side or I get ill. I am rather large in the upper department also - would love it if insurance would pay for a reduction. I haven't ever mentioned it to my doctor either - mainly because for each test that they decide they will run, I see another bill I would have to pay.
When you get a chance, google the
Alday family in Georgia, rural, mostly farming family, all killed in the 60s by intruders- I think there were about 5-7 family members they killed that day plus raping the woman before slaying her also. Sometimes people have false sense of security.
there's a good chance
that boy & girl are seeing each other as they used to be, not as they now are, & through the additionally warmifying haze of longing & regret. I went through something similar but neither of us was married at the time we got back in touch 20 years later (I was divorced, he had never married). By the time we met up again, 20 years' worth of unspent passion had reached such a pitch that it was like being on a drug. We spent a lot of time together over the next couple of years but were not physically intimate this time around. Now here's the kicker: Not only did the feelings eventually pass, I now realize he is one of the most annoying individuals I know. Maybe he was always that annoying; I'm not even sure. At any rate, I think if we had become intimate this time, my conclusion would have been the same, except that sex would have made things completely icky. Now we have casual contact. We live in different cities. We talk every few months if that, & it's okay. It's nice to still be in touch, even if it's only to honor the past. I consider myself lucky that I was able to work all this out outside of another relationship and that no one was hurt.
It's useless to speculate on what we would have been to each other if we'd stayed together & been a couple all those years, how we might have ended up as people. Maybe I wouldn't find him as annoying, or maybe I'd be in prison for having murdered him at some point, who knows. The point is, we weren't together all those years, we went off & became adults & lived most of our lives away from each other & became who we became, & there's no changing any of that.
The moment when I realized that he was not now who he used to be 20 years ago was very difficult. A collision of past & present. I felt a lot of grief over the loss of him, loss of the feelings, loss of youth. It would have been easy to mistake all these feelings for romantic love. I'm not saying any of this is the case for the story in question, I'm just saying Girl should be sure before she unloads a good man. The process of coming to terms with the past may cost her dearly.
Its a no..turned down...not a chance
I had my meeting yesterday afternoon with my lawyer. Although I am clearly disabled I fall threw the disability loop holes. There are 2 types you can sign up for. The first you must have worked 10 years consecutively. I worked when I was first married and then when we had kids I stayed home with them until they started school and then went back to work as a substitute teacher. I had worked 9 years consecutively and had a stroke so I am disqualified there.
The 2nd one you have to have not worked or be low income. Low income meaning a little over $900.00 a month for dh and I. Kiddos don't qualify as dependants since they are over 18 or the income level would be higher. We are low income but not that low for the 2 of us. The only thing you can own is your home and one vehicle. We own our home and 3...the old truck we are trying to sale that might bring $500.00., the truck dh bought for $1000.00 and the car he inherited from his sis. Dh also inherited some land and some money from his sis. AND THEN there is the fact that dh and his sis had to put their dad's money in their names so they can pay for his care, power of attorney and all that, and although the money goes for ONLY his care and we use none of it it goes against my case.
So although I am disabled, in pain every single day of my life, I don't qualify for disability. Our income doesn't qualify us for Medicaid. Our income doesn't afford us insurance IF we could find someone that would cover me with all my health issues. I'm tired, defeated, exhausted, cried until I can't cry. I don't know how many knocks I can take.
I don't begrudge anyone health care...but how is it fair that I can't get it and its handed over to those that have never paid a dime in taxes? How is it fair that a convicted child molester will get his disability? (yes I know someone that is and will get his). I just don't get it. There needs to be decent affordable healthcare in this country for EVERY citizen. I'm not talking Socialized medicine. I'm talking decent affordable healthcare.
It should not cost $4000.00 for an ER visit and $500.00 for the doctor. Yes again that happened to me last summer. I would never have gone if I had not been doubled over in severe pain and my regular doctor sent me there. I left the ER with a huge bill, a prescription I could not afford to fill, and a huge bill I had to finish paying and I'm still paying. They made me pay $250.00 before I left the hospital. Another time when I fell and messed up my ankle my doctor sent me over there for an xray. My ankle was 3 or 4 times its size and they still made me pay for the xray before they would even do it. Something needs to be done with this crazy ridiculous business
Guess talking with dying aunt over daughter just shouldn’t happen
Yes I did say disconnect (have thought about that for some time just due to the excessive amount spent on land phone though and daughter suggested disconnecting also to save $$$) the fuss was the fact about others assumming something. I took what I considered to be the more important of the 2 calls- basically I talk with the daughter every week several times and the aunt - well what would most do?
Do they by any chance have a social worker you...
could contact? That way, if the social worker stepped in no one in the family would really be so "involved" and it might save hard feelings further down the road but might have the same results.
Have you already started the New Years before I have a chance?
chug-a-lug
Are they mountain climbers by any chance? - sorry, I had to ask! nm
nm
Adam is so hyped. No one has a chance.
nm
Dying girl denied more time with imprisoned father - please sign the petition (sm)
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Have-Mercy-on-Jayci
This child is 10 years old - this is national news, not a hoax of any kind. This child was healthy six months ago and now has very limited time to live. Her father is imprisoned and her dying wish is to spend more time with him - which is being denied. Please go to the above website and sign the petition asking the Nebraska prison system to honor her request.
Is there an age limit on being able to sign up?? I might have missed my chance. LOL
Sorry couldn't resist. I'll never be too old to think that sounds wrong 
I'm more annoyed that the court keeps giving her one more chance.
xx
Any chance you could visit family or a friend...
for a few days when he leaves the dogs? Or simply tell DH that you will only take care of your guys? Let hubby experience what a job it is. I have a cat and a large black lab and those two alone can keep me pretty busy. Can't even imagine what you go through on a daily basis, let alone when you have extras. I believe in karma, and you have a giant reward coming your way one of these days, as do many of you other kind-hearted posters.
Oh goody, a chance to play doctor....
Do you have high blood pressure? Have you increased the salt in your diet lately?
I take a water pill, have done so for most of the last 12 years. I was started on it for hand swelling actually (and high BP), but the last couple years, I've had leg swelling when I forget to take it.
Mostly, I think some level of mild leg swelling comes with age. Anything that causes you to need bigger shoes isn't mild though. That would be the point where I stop playing doctor and point you to a real one.
Giving him another chance?? When did he start showing remorse in
s
get him a prescription for Chantix. It will give him a 44% better chance of quitting. nm
.
She made her choice but parents at least owe their kids a chance (sm)
She was given that chance and blew it - some would blow it and some would not. But I still think that with the way our country works today if you do not at least try to help your kids get through college you have not finished your job as a parent.
I head that was a limited-time only thing. I never even got a chance to try it. nm
xx
Congratulations! Any chance you can email me the recipe. Sounds yummy! - NM
NM
That is what I was afraid of
Dh and I have had our 401k for years and this is the first year we each dipped out of it to make ends meet. I was working from home and got pulled in-house. I am spending $100 a week on gas plus another 120/week on daycare. I don’t know if I should count daycare our not because I would have my kids in daycare anyway. I am not talented enough to do MT and watch kids at the same time. Also, I am have been buying new clothes, buy lunch, vendors in the hallways selling anything from jewelry to clothes to stuffed toys to benefit the Children’s Miracle Network, United way, Hospital Auxiliary, or just goes into a fund for fellow employees who maybe suffering from hard times. Then there is always the in-departmental fund raises for birthdays, “so and so is going on a cruise lets pitch in a dollar” or some ones kid is doing a fundraiser for their school, sport or whatever and then coworkers selling Avon, Mary Kay or whatever and I just feel the pressure. Never in my life had I felt the pressure to spend, spend spend as this year that I worked in-house. What’s worse our name tags function kind of like a debit card, just swipe that sucker and they payroll deduct.  Sorry to vent but I want to be back home!
Were you afraid he would (sm)
try to take your children in spite? Were you afraid he would be worse during and after the divorce process??
I'm afraid to.
He was just a sobbing suicidal mess before the Concerta (54mg qd) and fluoxetine (40mg qd). I'm afraid to take him off that stuff! I don't know that he could handle being that down again. He's doing so well in school on that too. He has As and Bs, with one C compared to being years behind his peers last year. We go to the doctor again Tuesday morning. I know he's trying his hardest to help my son...plus I'm a sobbing pile of snot every time we visit about my son. The Respirdal (1mg qhs) seems to be helping him as far as the rapid cycling mood swings and the insomnia. We tried to talk a little bit about his maybe hearing things that weren't actually being said....thanks for letting me vent here. None of my friends understand. They all have been blessed with children who seem to function well and aren't high maintenance if that makes any sense.
What are you afraid of?
I pose that question to you because it was one that I had to deal with after wanting a real relationship but for some reason could not fully commit to anyone. That is not to say that I dated more than one guy at a time, it is just that I would not completely let him in my life. My fear was having something bad to happen to my girls by this man that I brought into their lives. So, now that they are grown, in and enjoying their lives/family, I want someone in my life for me....but that fear keep me from committing. Does that make sense to you? And it will always be there for me...
LOL! That's what I was afraid of...nm
I actually am more afraid of who is in
the kitchen than I am of the meat, especially our local restaurant because I see him shopping at the same store I go to and they are a family owned business here for a number of years. But I certainly see your point.
What I'm Afraid Of...& Not
I'm scared to death of flying. Have never been on a plane and never plan to be on one either, unless it is a dire emergency and I have no choice. Hurricanes scare the bejezzums out of me. After going through Andrew, Katrina, Rita, and Gustav, I think I will go as far north as possible next time...if I can afford to. I never want to go through that again...even being 90 miles inland, it is still terrifying when they hit here (the wind is what we have to worry about). I'm afraid of losing my home, my family, and dying alone as well. I'm also afraid of dust and pollen...I'm highly allergic to both and stay indoors when pollen season hits (which is three times a year here...for dust, I just try to keep the house as clean as possible).
I'm not afraid of spiders (unless they are black widows, which we have here), non-venomous snakes, raccoons, tigers, dogs (used to be), or being on or in the water.
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