I'm 20 months older than my hubby, married 23 years so far! -nm
Posted By: NYMT on 2009-06-05
In Reply to: Another Age Question - GabbyChick
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- Another Age Question - GabbyChick
- I'm 20 months older than my hubby, married 23 years so far! -nm - NYMT
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My aunt married a guy 28 years older
than her with 4 children, 2 older than her. (his 1st wife died when their youngest was 4, 10 years previously). They were married for 37 years, had 2 kids of their own, and everything worked for them, marired until he died. She and his family got along great, her parents on the other hand, had a rough time dealing with it until their 1st child was born.
After 2000 when I married my hubby, he
first bought me a 2002 and then last year a 2006. I am so spoiled. Keep working hard and like I said, one day maybe your dreams can come true. Mine have. All my wishes have come true. Don’t hate because you are poor!
Been with a man 13 years older, now with a man 4 years younger.
Younger is better, at least in my case ;)
To all you married moms with kids and hubby at home,
do you ever dream about living by yourself? Not just with no kids, but with no hubby either? I love my family, but when I feel overwhelmed, when life gets too stressful, I can't help but think how peaceful that kind of life would be, with just myself to take care of. Of course I know in my heart that if I was by myself I would be bored and lonely, but right now it sounds really good! It has been one of those days...
22 months is not even TWO years old..sm
people keep saying that baby is 2 1/2 years old. or 3. 24 months is two years old. 36 months is three years old. People cannot even add.
I am 7 years older than he - nm
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I had a tubal 10 months after my second child (11 years ago). The only real
"problem" I had was with the air left in my abdomen (it was a laparoscopic), I had sharp pain in my shoulder for a while, but other than that I have had no problems. Regarding Essure, I know they use coils in teh tubes, but don't know what the failure rate is. A friend of mine wanted that, but because she had endometriosis, she was not able to have it done.
Poster below said something about hormonal problems. I don't see how you could experience anything hormonal if your ovaries are left in. Tubal does not remove those. I still have "PMS" sometimes, but that is because my ovarires are still functioning.
I'm dating a man 18 years older. If you like him, go for it! :)
x
LOL. What a shame, she looks 20 years older
My husband says she looks just like Dolly Parton - and that was NOT a compliment. LOL
5 years younger than DH, although have to act older because he's like a d#@n child...nm
x
I have been with hubby 23 years....
and you have got to love them for trying, not that their timing is the best. Mine I would have just looked at him, laughed and said "find something better to do at the moment" and then tackle him later. I think they just like a little extra attention. LOL
I have been married almost 20 years
and have a very good relationship with my in-laws. My MIL is not my "best friend" but we are close. It is the little things she does that drive me crazy, but also make me love her as well. DH has 1 sister and she is a wonderful person. We are very different and if we were not related we would most likely not be "good friends" but due to our circumstances we have become very close. We vacation together and if not careful can talk for hours on the phone. I have been very blessed with my family. The same goes for my family, they adore my DH. Have always said "If you two ever divorce, "K" can come home. LOL
I'm not - been married 13 years and still (sm)
act like I'm a visitor who they just allow to hang around. MIL is the queen bee and gets to host every event. On mother's day, she is always the guest of honor, even though I am the one still raising children. So many things I could say..but I'll stop now.
Have been married a little over 20 years and
couldn't be happier. We knew after just a month of dating that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We married a year later and have never had any major problems what-so-ever. We renewed our vows at 10 years (just the two of us at a small chapel) and then at 20 years did the same thing but included our children. This man is truely a gift from God. He does not have a temper, he has incredible patience, and is a wonderful father. I just wished he liked yardwork a little more. LOL!
Married, none in probably 2 years or more. NM
,
we have been married 7 years, together for 12
it hasn't always been like this. I just feel that she does not have to like me, i could care less, but if she is going to come to my house she should at least respect me in my house!!
Been married 29 years..............
First, depends on your hubby. Before your anniversary rolled around, is he the type that typically remembers important dates, i.e., birthdays (your birthday, mom's, dad's, etc.?) If not, then he may just be one of those guys that needs to be "informed" a little before those important dates, so as to refresh his memory.
Any reason to believe he isn't happy married to you? What if he really does have something planned for you and is waiting until after he gets off work? When he comes home, I would see if anything has changed. If you have something to give him, then hand it over and see where it goes from there. Are you planning a nice meal or something special? Even if he just flat out forgot, chances are he is going to feel terrible when you refresh his memory and HE SHOULD! And he should offer to make it up to you.....then I'd let him off the hook....this one time!
Try not to worry all day. I know your feelings are hurt and for good reason but see how things go when he comes homes from work. Just don't completely let him off the hook. If you do now, then he will no doubt continue and I find that disrespectful. Sometimes wives just have to teach their husbands SOME things just will not go unattended!!
19 years, married x 28
x
My hubby quit 3 years ago.
He is sooooo glad. At his dad's funeral recently he had a pack of tissues in his pocket. His brother in law thought it was a pack of cigs for a second. That was one light momement on a tough day.
Margaret's list idea is great; I've used that for other things.
Replacement activities are good too ... having a new thing you do, like a walk at lunch, or drinking chamomile tea or something new and different to help mark the change in your life.
And it will be like you gave yourself a raise! You could start keeping track of how much you are saving and use it for vacations or clothes or whatever treat you'd most like.
(That would be plants for me).
:oD
yep, alive and well. Married almost 29 years now. nm
Ten years difference here, been married
for 7 years, his first and my eeks, 4th but this is the last, I promise...
I've been married 20 years, and
I can usually figure out a way to motivate mine. He does take after his stubborn mother, but ve haff vays, hehehehe.
Happily married for over 20 years.
aklfjlajfljfdlaj
I was married to one for twelve years!
And, yes, I got out. I knew something was very wrong when I was fresh from a sprained ankle, hobbling in the kitchen making lunch on crutches, soothing my hungry 3 year old, and the phone rang. My husband, sitting in the easy chair five feet away from the phone in the living room, yelled for me to pick it up. I blew up, yelled a lot, stormed (as much as I could on crutches) outside. Eventually he came out to berate me, asked me why I was so angry and - would you believe it -
I DIDN'T KNOW !!!.
We still stayed married three years after that, but it gave me the impetus to think. He was (is, I guess) an alcoholic but had stopped drinking by then, and I couldn't figure out why I still didn't like him! Everything was about him. Any argument got turned around so that I was the one being unreasonable. I thank God to this day, twenty-five years later, that He gave me the strength to get out. I've been married, now, for twenty years to a completely different man, and have never had a nanosecond of regret! Life CAN be better! (incidentally, he's been married and divorced twice since us - Just can't seem to figure out what he's doing wrong, I guess).
Have been married to close to 10 years
and what in the world are you talking about that a relationship requires work? My hubby and I really mesh together wonderfully and I work at my job, but at my marriage?? We love each other, respect each other, care about each other and I am puzzled by the having to work at a marriage....What is hard about a marriage?
When I got married the first time (years ago!!) sm
I asked a very close friend that I could not have as a bridesmaid monitor my guest book - and I have no idea what happened to that book!! I would say it was nice that you were asked - it is a little bit of an honor if you will - but this late you are obviously a replacement for someone who may have had an emergency or something - and the bride will jsut have to accept your dress or ask someone else as you are out of town and don't have the time or money to purchase another dress at this point. Tell her thank you - you are honored - but you will have to pass???
Married 23 years. Never an invite to anything from
siblings in-law. DH's three sibs go on vacation together, hang out, etc. MIL has always been a scared little rabbit, afraid of every part of life, and worries that the breeze might change direction, or that the world may come to an end. Both are equally horrendous events in her eyes.
We'd only all get together when I invited anyone over. Now that I've stopped, I never see them. FIL, who was a really nice guy, died last November. I haven't seen any of the sib-in-laws since then. I see MIL when she needs something, because the other three barely pitch to help their old mother. I'm sure that when she dies, we'll never see DH's siblings ever.
We've been married for 22 years and
I've had my own checking account for the last 15. It is so much easier, IMO. In fact, he just recently opened his own separate checking account over the summer. So we have our joint account, which I rarely touch, and we each have our own.
And I agree that Christmas is for everyone. I'm as bad as the kids on Chrismtas Eve, as far as not being able to sleep. It's my favorite holiday. We get to see my whole family and DH's whole family and spend time together. Love it. In fact, it's my year to cook dinner for DH's family and I'm so excited.
I've been married 21 years.
I really think God picked us for each other, and that happiness will not be found with another as long as we both shall live.
It's not that we never squabble or fuss or have the occasional day where we almost pretend the other doesn't exist. But I know that the only other person I could stand to spend this much time with would be my twin sister. These are the only 2 people I can be completely open with, be myself with. When it's good, it's really great.
We have furkids only.
I've been married 13 years and
I would never allow my husband to tell me who I can and cannot see. If I were you, I wouldn't bring it up to him until closer to her visit. As you said, who is he to say where your sister can and cannot go. As the time approaches, a week or so in advance, I would simply tell him that your sis will be in town next week and you are planning on seeing her. If he throws a fit, let him. It seems to me, he gets away with this because you let him.
If the situation arises where he becomes intolerable, perhaps you could spend the night at sis's hotel room catching up. Let him stay home. It's his loss, but it doesn't have to be yours as well.
You've been married 15 years
and you've put up with it for 15 years. There's really no reason for him to change, is there? You've allowed him to do this to you.
Sorry to be so blunt.
No, married 8 years and counting and
my husband has not even raised a finger to me, much less tried to hit me. We have never had an argument, really. I tell him my opinion and he says, don’t I have anything to say in this and I tell him no, my opinion is the only one that counts around here and he says, oh.. That is the end of that, hehe. We are like a couple of love birds. This marriage has been wonderful.
Been married 21 years (soon to be 22). His hug alone rejuvenates me. sm
Being able to carry on a conversation with him is great. Sometimes we are thinking the same thing, and then it just kind of comes out. We smile/laugh and then continue talking about it. We have 3 kids ranging from 10 to 21. We have definitely had our ups and downs (whoa buddy those early years!). I know this will offend some and sorry......... but nothing more fun than when I am cooking dinner (or he is for that matter) and he walks up behind me and grabs me and says I love you (and nope not to have sex..just because). I know to some that is offensive, but I don't look at it that way. We actually decided this weekend to start giving ourselves a couple of hours alone away from the kids. First time in a very long time. We took the kids out to dinner on Valentines as a family and then later we went to another restaurant and just sat in the bar and had 1 margarita each and talked. Thoroughly enjoyed it!
Love can last a very, very long time. Takes a little work, a little patience....and whatever else needs to be thrown in the mix to make it work.
Have a wonderful week everyone!
Met in a bar, married 2 weeks later, 31 years ago.
And still happy for the most part!
I feel the same, though married now 13 years - sm
years ago my DH made me promise to wait until the kids were 18 to remarry. I promised as (1) remarring would not be high on my priority list especially if the kids were young (2) I don't know if I'd want to give up my new found freedom when I do eventually become a widow (in theory, he is 7 years older). We have our ups and downs and I would miss him but I certainly would not be in any hurry to replace him. Funny how most men run out and remarry fast though, and most women don't. I know some women just have to have a man but I think I would be quite content later in life to be on my own.
Yes! Met my hubby that way. Very successful for us. 10 years now. We were one of the "first"
wasn't very popular back then and so initially our friends and family were shocked and against it. We knew in our hearts that it was true love...still is after 10 years.
I did, however, a few months after we finally met in person, find photos and letters from other girls he had tried to "meet." I was crushed. I should have figured I wasn't the only one, but I wanted to believe that anyway. He did tell me I was the best looking and overall the best one out of all he had met, so that made me feel great....
He's an amazing man. I'm so lucky.
I used to let it slide, but I've been married 23 years.
Probably about year 5 or so, when we had children and she felt it necessary to comment on my mothering, I finally just gave it right back to her. She has four children, and the only one who turned out well was my husband, and I'm quite sure it's because he spent a lot of time away from home when he was growing up.
She lives just down the street, and now that we know where we stand, we have no problems.
DH and I are polar opposites and married for 24 years.
On our very first date, we went to a party held at the apartment of one of his friends. We got there, and all he wanted to do was sit and watch what was going on. He didn't socialize, barely talked and seemed completely uncomfortable. I was irritated and went off to meet people and dance and have a good time. He took me home, told me he had a nice time (I wondered how), and he kissed me goodnight very sweetly with his thumbs sort of hooked into his pockets like a cowboy. He didn't even embrace me, but somehow he made an impression. To this day, I tell everyone that it was THE worst first date I have ever been on, and yet here we've been married all this time.
At first we tried to compromise and do things together, and just as you say, there was always one of us not really having a good time. We'd both end up resenting each other and would think, "If he/she really loved me, he/she would want to be part of my world and share my interests." My husband is an introvert, but he does have his interests. He's a runner; a serious competitive runner at the age of 50. He's good at it, and he loves it. He's very involved in his track club. I'm proud of him, but for me it's dead boring to drive for hours and then sit next to a track all day waiting for him to run a 2-minute race.
By the same token, I love being outdoors. Hubby is NOT an outdoor kind of guy. He hates camping. I love backpacking. He's afraid to be out of his comfort zone. I like trying new things. He's afraid of animals. I think it's a great day when I see a bear or a snake along the trail.
After a few years of compromising, we just decided to do our own thing and support each other. We don't take long vacations together anymore, but we do get away for romantic weekends or have quiet dates now and then.
What we came to realize is that we see each other every day. We like our home life together. We enjoy that. Our separate interests only take a fraction of our lives together, so we pursue those on our own, then come back and enjoy being together again. On any given weekend, he'll be running somewhere and I'll be hiking somewhere else. On Sunday evening, we're back together again for the rest of the week. Once or twice a year, we go away, but we go to separate places. He may be off running somewhere with his club while I'm home. Another week, he's at home and I'm out hiking on the Appalachian trail. We did this even when our children were small. I have to admit, it's much easier now that the kids are older. This past summer I drove to Wyoming from Philadelphia with our 18 year-old. Hubby didn't want to take that much time from work, but we talked every day, and he was excited to hear about our adventure.
So, even if you don't like the same things, it can be done. You just have to get past the idea that you're "supposed" to be together, or want to be together all the time. That's not necessarily so. I think that doing your own thing and supporting each other in your individuality actually makes each of you more interesting to the other. So, if you like going out with the girls, have fun. Tell him all about it when you get home. If he prefers to stay in and watch a movie, he can tell you about the movie, and when you're done sharing, you snuggle up and say, "I'm so glad we're together again." Enjoy your time together and make the most of that.
Been married 1-1/2 years...still 2-3 times DAILY and still very hot for us...
I dunno....started off just as intense physical attraction, moved to serious feelings, living together, marriage, and we still both want each other 2-3 times a day.
I don't know if we're just really lucky or really just freaks, lol!!!
Years ago when I was still married the same thing happened to me. My
ex husband's friend was cheating on his wife. They used to go to his cabin in the woods where he went deer hunting. This guy would use us an excuse and both he and his mistress would park their cars in our driveway. Used to really get me in a mood when I came home and there was no place to park because they were in our driveway. With me it's all water under the bridge because we have been divorced for many years, but to be honest it was one of the things that did it for me. My husband and I had a very different view on moral issues. Seems the longer I was with him the more apparent that became. I refuse to have that going on in my house. To make matters worse, my ex's friend once divorced and was married again to the same woman, still cheating on her. She is a lovely woman and probably to this day loves him and never found out.
My son married girl 18 years younger..and
it's his third marriage and her second. He is around 18 years older than her. The problems you described started to show up in the second or third year, but they have gotten through that stage and they both now get along good and enjoy each other's differences...each one understanding and respecting the ways of the other and each one changing for the better. THis has been his longest relationship...six years. And they have similar interests and have fun together and are fun to be around.
Same here. Married 25 years and it does not feel like work.
Perhaps we do work at it, and it just doesn't feel like it. But, I also have to say that both my husband and I are very independent, self-confident people. Even when we were dating, we did not feel the need to be with each other 24/7. We have very separate interests and pursue them to the point of even taking separate vacations at times. Early on we saw no reason to "compromise" and be only partially happy with what we were doing. There are certainly things that we enjoy doing together, but just not everything. We also decided early on to compartmentalize our lives and give certainly responsibilities 100% to the other spouse. He handles the money 100%. I handled the kids and the house 100%. That included delegation! So if I needed hubby to pitch in and do laundry, dishes, etc. That would happen. If he needed me to help with something that usually fell under this area of responsibility, I did it. I suppose that part is the compromise, but it doesn't feel like it.
We have friends who have been married just as long as we have, and I don't know how they stand marriage! Everything they do is together. They can't decide on a color of paint for the wall without big discussions. One can't go to bed unless the other is ready for bed, as well. That sort of thing would suffocate me and my husband. I suppose we're well matched, and so we're lucky.
I was married for 13 years and 2 years
after my divorce I met the most incredible man. He was also divorced, we both have 2 kids, and though we are not married, we have been together for 9 years. They are still out there, you may have to go through a few marginal ones before you find him, but they are out there and available.
I'm 36, married 5 years, and still can't decide. I wish I had an answer for ya. But you're
x
Going to be 29 years in May, married as kids(!), it depends on what shifts we are working/overtime,
All in all, three kids later, it is "whenever," sometimes frequent, sometimes just being able to snuggle and be lone together is what we need!
I'm older than dirt, too, and older
than the 2 posters below me.
I remember when gas was $.25 a gallon when I got my driver's license and first car.
The first car my dad had was a LaSalle with running boards. After that, he bought all Hudsons and then Ramblers. He never owned a Chevy.
My first car was a ི Chevy, green and White, that my dad paid $12 for (cost of the tag). My uncle gave it to him and was a stick shift. I never drove an automatic until I was 20 and bought my own car with my own money. I paid $1500 for a ྀ Rambler Classic, 4 door (my first 4 door, too) in turquoise blue. My dad was mad because I didn't pick the Navy blue and white stick shift Rambler because it was cheaper.
My allowance was $1.50 a week and to make money, I chauffered all my friends around plus to school and back for $.25 a week.
And, I just turned another year older on Monday. Ugh! Thank heavens, no one in my family wished me HB. I quit counting 20 years ago. 
I married the same man 3 times and still married to him.
Together for almost 29 years now. 
wow. several months for TAT...wish we had that!--nm
nm
Nine months later?
That's unreal. I would be interested to hear his explanation after your phone call. If you cancelled the appointment you should not have been billed, much less that amount. Good luck with that one! 
Definitely let him do it. It's only for a few months.
It must be awful to spend that much time driving every day, and gas is so expensive right now. Just let him do it. It's only until spring, and it will make things so much easier on him.
When my son was 9 MONTHS old SM
we lived in South Carolina, and his daycare center asked me to sign a form giving them permission to spank him if he misbehaved. He was a BABY and they wanted to spank him! Holy Cow! I refused to sign it and took my son out of their daycare, but it was legal there (this was 14 years ago...not sure what the law is now). But I was shocked.
I'm not anti-spanking...I just think only a parent should be able to spank their child. Definitely not someone who doesn't love your child and who may be too heavy handed.
Chickadee
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