I'd tell him to take half the equity and get out - sm
Posted By: XXX on 2007-07-30
In Reply to: If your husband had a problem with your weight and (sm) - Butter and clutter
not you. I am in a similar situation. I have gained about 70 pounds since we married, and 2 kids later. I never kept a great house but I was very organized; but several things have happened over the past 3 years and I have become less organized and I think mildly depressed as well. He used to nag me constantly about my weight but has finally backed off as I think he just stopped caring. I resent(ed) his constant harping about my weight and I think gained more in response; I was 30 pounds less 3 years ago. Even the kids know something is not right though we do things together as a family my DH screws it up somehow and the kids end up in tears half the time or I get upset over some mean thing he said. My younger one has said she wants to live with him if we ever divorce, how sad is that (he is more lenient as he wants to be liked by the kids). His mom is a clean fanatic, they had to shower in the basement as she did not want them messing up the bathroom, before that they had to wipe dry and clean the shower/tub everytime they used it. When she is here she picks up and folds every loose thing, etc. Her home is spotless but she has no kids or animals; we have 2 dogs and a cat and 2 kids who can make a mess really fast. I take care of everything around here but the cooking plus work 3 jobs to boot, so that is one reason the house is not a Good Housekeeping showplace, the other is I hate cleaning.
I would not change for your husband though. I am however going to try and lose this weight, though not for him. I get out of breath very easy now and I want my health to stay good. I am curious to see what reaction I get from him when I do, I suspect he won't like in in the long run, especially if I can pull it off and look darn good in the process. I am also considering getting a cleaning person to come in once a week and clean, but I will tackle that in the Fall. I did get one of those robot vacuums but have not tried it as yet. I also am thinking about seeing a divorce lawyer just to see what my options are in case he pushes me to my limit. He has threatened me with divorce but I doubt he will do it but in case he does go and spring that on me I want to know what I can expect. I think for money reasons alone would not do it as I would fight for half the house equity though it is not in my name we bought it after we were married and have lived in it for 9 years together; half of some property we own (my name is on that deed) and half his 401K from the point we married to present. So he would owe me a tidy sum, I estimate about $185K; so basically he'd have to pay off the house and give it to me as a divorce settlement + child support for 2 kids. He would be pretty cash poor for quite a while but could build a house on the property which would kill him as he wanted to have no house payments by 50 (he is 48)-- I'd want full custody of the kids but I am afraid of some financial issues that would prevent me from being awarded them; so that is why I want to see a divorce lawyer before he does (he has threatened that 2 x, but as he is a big talker I kind of ignore it, but I need to stop being naive about it just in case he does follow through for a change). You need to do the same thing, contact a lawyer and find out exactly where you stand, you have nothing to lose by doing this. I plan to do this as well, once the kids are back in school as I cannot very well drag them with me and have them come home and say, mom went to a divorce lawyer today, yeah, that would go over well.
But your husband and mine sound very alike. I know my kids love me despite my youngest saying she'd rather be with daddy, though after our disaster outing yesterday I doubt she feels that way. She says I work too much which is true but I use it as an escape too which is not good. I had a lot more time off last summer but took on some extra work lately and it has been very busy this summer. I have promised her to start taking off every other weekend so we can do more together so that should help some for us and for me mentally as well. Good luck.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
i was told mine is half jack russell half border collie
AND HE SURE LIVES UP TO THAT HYPERACTIVITY!!!
Really, I give my cat milk and half and half
well over 14. Stray cats will eat/drink anything they can get ahold of to survive. Not sure why we shouldn't give cats milk.
1/2 the equity is not enough
He is just afraid of you getting more at this point. If you got a good attorney, not only would you get 1/2 the equity, but alimony and child support. I know it is hard, but do not let him bamboozel you again. He sounds very selfish. Marriage is a 50/50 undertaking you are not his possession or his servant. Above all know that it is not you, but him that has the problem. Do not fall into the trap of feeling that you are the one to blame for any of this. Prayers that this all works out for you
Take your share of the equity and go (sm)
Not trying to be harsh here, but if you want to lose weight and become better organized, that's for YOU to decide. I have struggled with my weight always, now am the highest weight I ever have been. I am not an organized person, never have been, never will be. Luckily, DH doesn't seem to mind any of this. If I had to struggle constantly to try to be something I wasn't, I'd be a basket case. It's not worth the effort. You decide how to want to be, NOT him. Good luck.
Have you considered a home equity loan to
pay off all your credit cards?
File for bankruptcy protection if you have equity in your home
dd
Oh, you don’t know the half of it
I had no clue when we married he could even cook and his food is the best, really. He says he throws things together and anyone can do. Well I do not even try. He uses all spices, fresh herbs, loads of garlic (and yet for some reason not winding up with garlic breath?)and not only does he do all this but he can fix anything in a home or outside say, garden tools, lawnmowers, do repair work, did marble floors for us, installed vanity and bathroom in another home. He has some other brothers, comes from big families but I kinda doubt if his others are that talented and besides, the ones I know are taken. He is really a catch of a lifetime! Not only is his food good but like I said, he stretches a piece of meat like you would not believe adding it to rice or pasta with other vegetables and our food costs are really on the low side yet at the same time so very, very good to the tastebuds.
Half and half
My daughter who is a senior needs to be prodded a few times. My son who is a sophomore gets up on his own. I still make them breakfast and pack them a lunch though. I do it because I like to and because they are so independent otherwise, it is nice to still be able to do some things for them. They will both be gone soon and I am sure going to miss them.
Also at our high school, after 10 tardies they have a Saturday detention and then every 5 tardies after that.
Half and Half............
Your case is completely different than Done's. Are we discussing Done's case or yours?
If we start to discuss your case we have to start a new thread.
Well, half of it would pay off all
3 of my credit cards. My son is begging for a trip to the beach so that would definitely happen and then the rest would go in the bank for emergencies.
I would never ask for half BUT...
I do want him to realize that he wouldn't be able to pay for an apartment, insurance, phone, utilities, groceries, etc working fast food.
If I charge him for his auto insurance and his phone and 50.00 a week room and board then he will see how much he has left and that it wouldn't cover his expenses in the "real world". I'm hoping this will also reiterate how important it will be for him to go to summer school and get his high school credits so that he can at least have a diploma.
how would you like to be locked up half the day--sm
and all night? If you can't leave the dog loose in your own house for just overnight, then you should not have the dog. It sounds like the poor thing spends more time caged up than it does *free* and I am on the dog's side on this one. Please give the dog to someone who *cares* for it, properly. JMO
I do have a half-sister out there somewhere?
My father was married before he married my Mom, but his ex-wife ran off with his daughter. We have never met her, and he never looked for her! 
I just took a half a tablet at about 8:30
...just to see how that goes. He said 1/2 or 1 tablet t.i.d. p.r.n. My pulse was over 140 in his office today, which is what it was when the ambulance got here on Monday, and that is just NOT me. He gave me enough for a few weeks and then I go back to see him.
I think nearly a half generation did that too *lol*
Are you putting down a lot, like half?
I don't understand how you can even get such a high mortgage. Is that really possible? My husband and I make over 100K and have great credit and I know for a fact the most we MAY get approved for is 300,000 and that's with a lot of luck. Please enlighten me!
Scratch up at least half of what you owe - sm
(all of it if you can) go on a road trip to see him, 2-day drive or so if I read it correctly (or remember correctly), pay the ex off/get up to date on CS then stay a week or two, at least show your son that you want to see him and not just sitting back waiting for him to come to you when your ex decides it fits his schedule or is okay. Obviously find out if your ex has anything planned for the time you plan to go then just show up, I would not aprise anyone to your plans, just go. Even if he screws you over at least your son will see that you really, really wanted to see him and tried everything to accomplish it. This will make your ex look like a real schmuck if he does not let your son see you while you are visiting. Good luck.
I have for a week and a half now
I started it a week ago Sunday.. that would be the 17th. I have had absolutely no "treatment effects" as they call them. I have watched what I eat and have switched to some lower fat or no fat products, as far as like cheese, salad dressings, sour cream, things like that. I don't really eat a lot of fatty meat anyway, so that hasn't been anything to deal with. The changes have been pretty simple actually, pretty easy to make. Also with Alli, it only works around the meal that you take it with. So, if you basically want to watch your fat for most lunches and dinners, as I'm doing, you just take it for those two meals. I don't worry about it with breakfast because I usually just have cereal anyway. If you have some occasion planned, dinner out, might be having a meal with more than 15 g or so of fat, just don't take it. It is pretty simple really and if it does nothing else, it keep you honest with those meals you eat when you take it.
You got that right! I was half laughing and (sm)
crying when he did the "Crying" song with the turtle last week! Piers shot right out of his chair on that one! I voted for him about 12 times or so altogether. My nephew's wife voted for him 10 times three different ways. . phone, computer and different phone.
My better half just had enough of this low flush job
and he spent well over $250 for a newer, will flush all down. Having folks coming over for the holidays and like you said, not gonna be embarrased by a toilet you have to help along and we changed out the powder room first because that is what a visitor would be directed to. All 4 baths here did have that same low flow toilet and they do not work well. Like you, if you have to flush 2-3 times to get them to work, what is the use??
Wow! You lost half of yourself
I am in awe!
Half a cup dry is 150 calories (I believe)
So one cup dry is 300 calories. Skim milk is 80-90 calories per cup, 45 calories per half cup, etc. Sugar is 15 calories per teaspoon.
Hope that helps.
usually it's half price
But most places you sneak food rather than pay :)
half of your salary is too much. I sm
think it should be done based on what the kid is making. In our case, the kids made more than we did but they paid 1/4 of the expenses. Adults? Its only fair.
If your income has been cut in half (sm)
I have to ask - what are you spending the money on? Rent is the first thing you should pay, then food, and then transportation. If you are worried about paying credit cards first, or some other debt, you are cutting your own throat.
I would advise you to do some looking at Dave Ramsey. He has several excellent books, available usually from the local library.
Also, as for the husband, sit down with him and talk to him - I don't know if you have done this or not, but his playing the video games may be a way for him to escape. If he has always been responsible in the past, then his irresponsibility now is probably a defense mechanism.
You both need to step back and take the emotion out of it. If you are not able to do that, the situation is not going to improve. You both have to show commitment to making the relationship work, even on so little money.
If you have a pastor or some sort of mentor/advisor, that might be a good place to start, once you have talked to your husband. A neutral party who can look at the situation from all sides can help.
Good luck, from someone in similar shoes.
HC
that is - half the girls - also if they do pass this - sm
how long do they "have" to watch it, 1 minute, 5 minutes, what, a half hour until they change their mind? Once they get this passed, believe me, they will try something else, give an inch, they take a yard.
Half-Dollar sized BA
yes, and that's just your opinion.
Not sure.....I vote for Half-Dollar! lol
x
Time and a half... take a guess lol (nm)
x
Make it threesome;best half, you and BV. Don't
x
Try a latte but ask for half a shot sm
a small drink usually is one shot, a medium larger is usually two shots - you can actually ask for decaf espresso also - there are so many things you can ask for - just tell them at your local shop what you told us here and see what they suggest. A latte is a shot of espresso topped with milk and then foam, a mocha is chocolate milk, so I would stick with latte for now - there are also frozen drinks at Starbucks with no coffee in them at all - but cannot think of the name right off the top of my head - good luck!!
Half a loaf of bread better than none
My husband (who is union) and I have talked about this and he definitely said he would take pay cut in order to keep his job if need be.
Too much - how bout once every half hour or so
Drives me insane, although things have gotten so bad here were we live (crime wise) and peoples home are being broken into while they sleep so I sleep at night and he sleeps in the day/afternoon. But when he is awake he comes out of his room every half hour or so to tell me the latest in news/events. It drives me absolutely crazy.
But it's better than it used to be. However, I do love my time when he's sleeping.
I almost went blind from it as I broke out on half of my face and they
were invading my cornea but never penetrated through. I had them actually while on the delivery table with my son!! It was frightening to say the least, I looked like a monster for about 1 week, started healing after week 2 and then had terrible pain weeks 2 and 3. I was popping 800 Motrin without even looking at the clock, the only time in my life I was a pill popper!! Anyhow still can't tweeze my eyebrow on that area without strange neuralgia, when I get tired or stressed I feel the tingling, feels like my eyelid is drooping but no residual effects other than that. If it ever happens again (this was 16 years ago so knock on wood) I will just go somewhere with a bottle and drink myself to sleep for 3 weeks.
they stated HALF of the money stayed here in US, not just for
the dying kids in Africa, but for underpriviledged kids here too.
the last half of the 4th quarter had you on the edge of your seat...sm
lotsa eatin', sreamin' and jumpin' in our house with all the men who've played high school, college and semi-pro...Both teams did a tremendous job, and it was a great rivalry to begin with.
Mommy (who's 1004 miles away called) and we watched the game together during the last plays...that was fun to hear Mommy scream "Yeah, Giants!"  Cat
You did the right thing. A year and a half ago 5 girls, sm
from a town that I used to live in, (1 had been in preschool with my daughter), just graduated from high school, were on their way to the family cottage of one of the girls, and they were all killed in a crash. There had been a text message sent from the driver's phone just before the crash. Everyone left behind was devastated.
Hopefully your actions will save her life.
My parents did that, they asked half of my salary,
50 percent, although I never came home for lunch and bought it myself.
To date I dislike them for their idea of 'tough love' and told myself I will never do this to my children.
Okay. I'm starvin! Started on Jan 1 to not diet, but to cut my portions in HALF and sm
not snack as much! It's kind of like Weight Watchers, except for rednecks! I'm too cheap to pay Weight Watchers. Lost 6 pounds already but I am starving.
I get up and eat 1 piece of peanut butter toast. This morning I used cream cheese instead. For lunch I usually have a sandwich on whole wheat, diet drink, fat free crackers, or a salad or something. No snack whatsoever (which is right now) before dinner and then my dinner portions are half of what they used to be! I went and tried on a bathing suit yesterday (can you believe Target is already selling them??) and I was a size smaller than last August. I was thrilled. Still don't look that great, but a bit smaller..haha
Anyways, what do you skinny chicks do? Seriously. Someone once told me if you want to know what a healthy, skinny person eats then look in their grocery carts.
I hate this daily battle with my weight and appetite. I wish I was skinny and didn't have to worry about it.
Anyways, what do you do to stay in shape?
Half dollars? And that's supposed to be attractive???? HAHAHA! Not.
x
they stated half was staying here in US/hafl to Africa (nm)
x
The purebred was a rescue. The others are half-husky. I respect
several books on wolves. They're not "pets" like most people have, she has a sanctuary.
We didn't even spend half that amount on each of our kids.
Of course, our kids told us about their spoiled rotten friends who all got electric guitars, multiple gaming systems, flat panel TVs for their bedrooms, cell phones, mp3 players, etc. Then the little boy from across the street came over and told me what he got for Christmas, which wasn't much at all. I felt so bad for the little guy. If I had known they didn't have much, I would have bought for his family instead of my 25+ family and friends who don't even need anything. I refuse to buy into it all for my own kids. If they want all the electronics, they can work and save up for it, and then only with my permission. No unlimited Internet, no texting, no M, R or T rated movies and games. I just don't believe children need all that junk. DH and I grew up just fine without it.
I know, my sister, who spends half the year calling (sm)
family members for food money, spent $600 on a PS3 and accessories/games. Less than a week later....no food. My husband has a good job and I work as an MT full-time, so we are not poor, but we can't afford something like that!
Close friend has dog which is half pitbull. She is very gentle, but
nm
Old-fashioned ham with half the work and diabetic option~*~*yummmm*~*~
Pick out your ham
Pick your favorite mustard. (I like spicy swedish mustard)
place mustard in bowl about a cup or so (depending on how large your ham is)
add an equal amount of Brown sugar / Diabetics can use splenda
You want a paste that will cling to the ham. In order to achieve this consistency add pineapple juice to the regular mixture or diet sprite to the diabetic one and then smear this all over the ham. Place in pan, cover to keep in moisture and cook according your hams directions. 
I like to open it up and pour the juices over the ham. EVEN IF you dont like mustard you will like this. Try it it is VUNDERFUL muah lol
If you want more old time southern recipes shoot me an email I am happy to help
Can find lots of gently used music, books, etc. on half.com. I've
s
Search on half.com or Amazon. Amazon lets you look inside some of them. Good luck! nm
s
I've sold 125 books on half.com but most were my childrens college text books. I have sold some
t I picked up for a quarter at a thrift store. Old Dr. Seuss books do well. I price them a bit lower than the rest of the pack and put that they are from a nonsmoking home. Half.com does take a small commission but they deposit the check in your bank account monthly.
oh yes. And the last half of the script was JACK! JACK! JACK!
.
|
