I'd stay away...I'm not too proud to "lose!"
Posted By: Apple Scruff on 2007-11-09
In Reply to: Am I over-reacting here?? - MT in MT
You are responsible to you and your kids. Your kids count on you to protect them from your anal chocolate stepdad. Your mother and brother are adults; they can arrange to see you all on different terms, like in your own town without the stepdad.
This long of a drive will be no good of a trip for anyone when your kids can be expected to be yelled at for being kids and you have to pick up the pieces. I vote it's not worth it.
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Been there, done that...not proud of it
I have faced a situation like this myself. It was wonderful when it all started. Innocent. He told me everything I wanted to hear, and I am sure it was the same for him. No sexual encounters, however, we got caught. Emails were found. It has been 3-1/2 years since it all went down and I am still struggling to regain the trust my husband once had in me. It definitely was not worth it. A large part of the fun was sneaking and hiding, makes you feel young again. You are going to do what you want to do, no matter what others say. You are going to lose everything you have worked for in your life...for a man who broke your heart so many years ago.
you are welcome; be proud of him
nm
Proud of that
post. My judgment with you was correct. You are the type we are encouraged to find here on this board. This is for camaraderie and to connect. We have done that. Good for us! Keep em' comin'. They'll get tired of us and bug the neighbors or something.
Way to go Son!!!! Know how proud you and he must be. nm
!
Very proud as is he
He even wore his medal and ribbons to school today to show all his friends. :-)
If you did the best you can I am proud of you
Grandpa told me that when helping with homework and tests.
Very proud of you...
and glad you came around and saw how it can hurt the little ones. It's not easy, but sometimes we do just have to keep our mouths shut.
You are not too proud and this is sm
One: You should be proud of what you have done for animals. We are stewards of animals. Some of us take this to the ultimate and become vegans so as not exploit animals. Others give money. Others open their homes to many pets. Others help out in shelters. Without any judgment of what is best...ANIMALS NEED ALL THAT HELP. You are part of that help.
Two: Being "proud" about this would indicate you are doing it for some sort of personal gain. Personal gain would not include, to my mind, being remembered publicly for doing good. When this takes place, and your will is enacted, you won't be here anymore, but your legacy and care will be. Why not have the recognition and encourage others to do as you have done? NOTHING wrong with it at all.
BRAVO for doing something so generous and kind.
Congrats... you should be proud
of her and of yourselves for helping her as much as you could. I did the same thing with my DIL, looked at it as an longterm invest in my grandchild's future, the sacrifice of all of you is definitely worth it. I was as proud as any mom when she passed her boards for LPN. My DIL is back in school for her R.N. now, so we continue to help with the babysitting, etc. Wouldn't trade the time with my 2 year-old grandson for anything, even though most days I feel really OLD by the time his daddy picks him up each night. Congrats again to her!
Just show them. Be proud of what you have.
That's my opinion, anyway. :) Don't be worried about how you look to others; most of them are probably all in a tizzy about what others think about them, too, and you don't really care what they look like, right?
I would think that your aunt would be proud that
a man who was not a child's biological father would take her, love her and raise as his child, grieve when passes away and refers to her as his daughter. My sister and brother-in-law married when my sister's youngest child was 18 months old. That child is now almost 20 and refers to him as "Dad." Her biological father is alive but the relationship is strained because she had a child out of wedlock. The stepfather, however, loves the child that she had and refers to him as his grandson. 
I was so proud of my 14yr old
when I told her Paris was out of jail. She just said "So!" I hope she always feels that way.
The proud hunter! :-D
Takes a lot of work to bag a wabbit! So cute!
....tell him you are proud of his talents
nm
If you're not proud of something you did, definitely don't tell them.
Unless it may help to teach them a lesson about something. I believed what I was told, that my mother was a virgin until she married, LOL, and NEVER got drunk and was a wonderful student and it goes on. I am very grateful that she was most likely not completely honest about a lot of things as it probably helped me to be a better person and also respect her more as a person. These are your children, they are not your friends or your siblings. There are certain things you do not share with your children.
You have every reason to be proud of yourself - sm
Have your name printed for all to see. It is a wonderful thing that you are doing. So many animals, so much need, and your generosity is going to be not only helpful but so appreciated. I applaud you.
Congratulations -- You should be very proud of yourself
for being able to accomplish that.
let's just say that's one more reason i'm proud
n/m
You should definitely feel proud....and sm
you can also stay close. I know it must be the hardest thing ever to do. My daughter is almost 9 and I am already dreading the day she will move out. We are very close like you and yours. But I have many adult friends who call and talk to their mother every single day and stay very close to them. You can be one of those too. I know it has to be hard, but you should be so proud that you raised her to be such a courageous and strong young woman. She is this way because of the strong foundation and sense of security that you have given her. Good job Mom! And your job as her mom will never be over. We always need our moms no matter how old we get or how far away we are. I think sons sometimes become more distant but daughters who are close to their moms usually stay that way.
Diverse and proud.
x
How proud her parents must be to have such a pathetic...
loser for a child. However, from what I have read about her parents, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I am always amazed when those afforded all the advantages of life at such an early age choose to spiral downward so quickly and frequently. I am so glad my own daughters are grown; with the group of young celebutards that are out there as role models for girls today, its no wonder teenage girls (and a lot of preteens) that I see today look and act so trampy!
I'm impressed with bravery of so many. Really proud to be
xx
Proud mommy moment
My oldest son was in the Special Olympics today and came in first in cross-country skiing and snowshoeing :-) I think the whole Special Olympics is awesome! 
Great news, and you must be SO proud!! NM
XX
Yes, big Texas accent & proud of it.
x
What a good story! You must be very proud.
He's a good writer for so young. Hope he keeps it up!
Fellow workers, you are gonna be proud of me!
I just sent email to a national morning program, has a guy and girl on there. I was watching the other morning, a wife and son on explaining about how her husband suffered extensively with pain, unable to get medications because, you know, some call it drug seeking? Well, come to find out through son being tested, this father had some sort of syndrome (sorry, do not remember the name) and finally died having suffered for years, unable to live a decent life, bedridden. On the panel was the wife, son, a physician and another person The wife started to say something and was cut off immediately but the lady host saying "Well, are you a physician?" The wife said no and the host said "Well, let the doctor speak then." I wrote this host this morning to let her know IF she worked in the field she would know physicians make plenty of mistakes- we clean them up all the time, right? I said people who do not know tend to hold physicians up as gods but if you worked in this field you would certainly know better. I tried to get Megace for hubby 1 time because not eating, lost appetite, starving actually and was told by physician would not help. I switched doctors, got the prescription and hubby regained appetite. Having typed on that for aid in TB patients as well as human immunovirus patients in regaining appetites, I knew better. I feel a whole lot better about myself right now!!
Not proud of this one - Mike Tyson was a few years behind me in HS
I agree this war is a joke, and I would not be proud of my kid being a part of it.
x
I am on foodstamps, not proud, but without my kids would starve
My husband is a plumber and I a MT. There is no work for him and he has even tried our local Wendys and that was low for him. We have 3 kids, all before this mess started. I had to crawl my prideful butt to human resources and get help for my family. It is just food stamps, but I am so glad for them. We would literally starve right now without them. It makes us feel human to have warm food. Maybe that family had the majority of their kids before their situation now. Maybe all her kids are just accidents. The wonderful GOVERNMENT would rather pay to have the children then to pay for birth control or tubal ligation. Who knows. Don't be so harsh!!!! Have you never needed help? Maybe those people need help whether mental, medical, or maybe they need help to get into a situation to get out of government help.
i'm proud of my worn-off letters -- confuses intruders
i've purchased many keyboards in my day (as have we all), and i just love it when folks come over and see my E, S, T and R are missing, if not more. when you get a new keyboard and read the box, believe it or not, they are listed as having a life-expectancy of 10 million Keystrokes -- doesn't take us long to burn thru that! right now, i've been using this microsoft ergonomic and all letters still in place (bummer). however, microsoft had some nerve moving the keys all around like they did --- just crazy to my fingers....
My lab/great dane mix is Walter- loves to sit proud and tall in my jeep with the top down and put hi
nm
Normally, this would be something I would try to stay out of, but (sm)
I would think if you called CPS and explained things just the way you did here, they might be able to do something to keep the aunt away, and parenting classes for the parents wouldn't hurt either. I agree with the other poster who said if parents (or you) act first, anything the aunt did at a later time would be considered retaliation. Handicapped parents many times can be the best parents, but it sounds like they do need some help with setting boundaries.
I think I would stay put if I were you. He knows where the
door is and can use it if he chooses. Your first concern has to be your children and you should not have to find a place to live if he is the one who has the problem with you. If there is no adultery involved here, don't rush into divorce. Divorce is painful and can get nasty. Sometimes just being away from each other can "calm the waters" and allow you to make a more objective decision. I speak from experience. My husband and I divorced very hastily when we were very young after less than 2 years of marriage and then remarried, had 2 children, divorced very hastily again and then remarried again. Had I just been a little less in a hurry I could have saved myself a hiney-load of money and a lot of heartache by just being away for a while and then making an objective decision. Instead, I rushed into divorce and paid dearly.
Stay away from CC....
If you have been having problems meeting the minimum payment on any CC, by all means don't go opening another credit card. Your credit report will be an absolute mess. I know it's 0% interest for one year, but read the fine print - there is usually a fee of some type, plus, can you pay it off in one year before the interest starts up? You never know what will happen in life and you may not be able to make the payments, the rate goes up, and you are in deep doo-doo.
Sallie Mae is high interest, your 401K is better. With 401K you are paying yourself back with interest. It's a no-brainer. No one gets your money but you. Is it possible to borrow again from a 401K if you already have a loan out? Having the money deducted automatically from your paycheck and put back into your 401K is the safest and smartest bet...as long as you have a job.
If you ABSOLUTELY have to have this other loan for $7,000 then the 401K should be your only choice. Can you do without the $7,000 and get back on track before getting deeper into debt - or at least until you pay off the existing credit card?
Why would you want to stay...
with someone who is, as you say, mean? If you are not happy, LEAVE! When you stay you are condoning his behavior. Some women want to be martyrs, others want to live a great life. There are great men out there; wallowing in self-pity does not get you one though.
Well, obviously we don't want to stay
somewhere where there's still a lot of damage. That's why I'm asking for personal experiences, and hopefully recently. We don't want to book a beach house and when we get there find out it's in the middle of a big mess.
stay vs go
First, I am so sorry for your situation...that being said, the kids will definitely pick up on the negative vibes between you and your husband. As far as your question goes, I think only you and your husband can know the answer to that one. Just be very aware of your kids and behavior changes, emotional lability, etc. Trust me when I say, they are not dumb...they will pick up on what's going on, no matter how hard you try to hide it (yes, I'm speaking from experience...). Good luck!
You definitely need to stay on top of this...
The kids who you think are least likely to commit suicide are the ones that actually do...that is not meant to scare you by any means...most kids find it easier to write down their feelings than actually expressing them face to face so the fact that he wrote this means something is bothering him...I think you should both talk to your pastor..good luck...(((HUGS)))...
I think you should just stay out of it.
It is just humiliating for kids when their parents act up or cause a scene.
The name of the game is fun. Your going into the game wanting your son's team to beat the other team because of YOUR issues with another parent is very immature and selfish.
Trust me, we've watched parents like you've described yourself (and others, in fairness) acting out and it is so unsportsman-like and completely immature.
Embarrassing for everyone.
To Done: STAY !
No husband is perfect, we are all human. Your husband has a lot of good qualities. Think of your children! I think you are spoiled and unthankful. Maybe he is right and is better than you. He loves you, why don't you; I think you are just bored.
If I don't have anywhere to go, I stay
in my jammies. I usually get up and take the kids to school in jeans and my jammy shirt. Then come home and put the jammy pants back on. If I don't have anywhere to go, I don't get dressed until mid afternoon when I break for lunch. I usually put something in the oven and hop in the shower. Sometimes I just put clean jammies on, sometimes I get fully dressed. Either way, my contacts go in and my hair gets done. My husband likes me either way, as long as I'm clean. I find I wear my jammies more in the winter and am more likely to get dressed in the summer, probably because kids are always coming and going in the summer.
At any rate, I tend to be more productive when I'm dressed, so I should probably try to do that every morning, but I'm just not a morning person. Every year for Christmas, my mom gets me "work clothes" (jammies)!!!
Where we stay in NYC.
We stay at the Embassy Suites on North End Avenue right in the financial district. It is walking distance to to the Village, China Town, Mulberry Street, etc. It overlooks the Harbor and you can see the all the helicopters coming in and out. My husband always goes to Battery Park to watch the helicopters. It is not too inexpensive, but you do get free breakfast and there is a happy hour at 5:00 p.m. if you like to have a few drinks, which will really cost you in the city. There is also a fantastic deli 1 block away that we always hit for a late night snack. We go at least once per year, sometimes twice or 3 times. We love it.
You really have to stay on top of the cards
I do a lot of card flipping with balance transfers but also calling and trying to negotiate new deals. I just switched one with a balance transfer at 3.9 for the life of balance and then talked them down to a purchase rate of 8.9 (it had been up in the high teens). I also talked a card I've had a while into a 2.9 for the life of a balance transfer instead of the 12 month offer they were having because there was a delay in the electronic transfer to the other company causing me a bit of inconvenience. That transfer was actually for a loan I had at a pretty high interest rate, so some loans can be put on cards too which I never knew. I find websites that list ALL the latest offers for all or most card companies and I'm always checking. Sometimes I call my cards and tell them I am thinking about switching unless they can give me a similar/better rate or deal. Often they will so as not to lose the business. I have saved a ton of money doing this - it is sort of like consolidating on your own. I can post the site if anyone is interested, don't have it handy right now. Oh..I also have automatic electronic payment setup to pay a certain amount each month from my checking so the payment is NEVER late. You are so right about that, that's where they get you! I just thought maybe some of this info may help someone, I hope so. My credit is very good now but had been a mess in the past.
Remind me to stay
 away from that doctor!!!
Did he marry her so he could stay in the U.S.? nm
.
I go there frequently and would not stay in
the Flamingo. It is right downtown but a very old place, the smoke when you go into the casino is terrible, not as classy as I like. It might be cheap but then you get what you pay for. I love the Mirage, stayed at Treasure Island, very nice also, favorite though is the Bellagio, more expensive than most on the strip. Love the buffet at the Luxor. MGM might be alright and at the end of most of the strip but I would think ok as far as a place to stay.
To make it stay that way
If you want everything on your computer bigger: right mouse click on your desktop background. A little box should pop up. Click on 'properties'. Then click on the settings tab. There should be a little sliding scale with the screen resolution. Move it to less resolution (left). Then click 'apply'. Your screen may black out for a second, but when it comes back, everything should be bigger. Certainly saved my eyeballs!!
Also if you stay away you are letting him win(sm)
As that seems to be his goal -I would not let him keep me from seeing the rest of my family. However, I also would not want my children exposed to his mouth, so if you cannot stay in a hotel,I would go and visit without your children, which I do sometimes as well. I see my family about twice a year, usually once by myself and once with the kids, at which time we stay in a hotel.
Its wise to stay away
I had a C-section and had planned to stay at my mom's for a week or so to recuperate. As soon as I got there, I put the baby in the cradle in the living room and started to put some things away in the bedroom. I could hear my step-dad saying "get 'im, get 'im" to his dog....I went out there and he was actually encouraging his schnauzer to mess with the baby! I came real close to braining him with a can of tomatoes over it. I left and refused to bring the baby to their house as long as he was in it. My mom, too, chose the step-dad over her kids. Now he's dead and her relationship with her kids is rocky, and she regrets it.
Need help with a dog that will NOT stay off furniture (sm)
We have a black lab in the house - had him since he was a puppy. He was/is not allowed to be on the couch and other furniture but....he considers it a challenge. If I am in my office, he will get on the couch and jumps down as soon as he hears me walking into the family room. I don't know how to make him stay off. He is a very smart dog and we challenge him in other ways with training. One of my kids will be home for the holidays and has allergies. The dog hair on everything is getting to me real quick! He is 2 years old now. Forget the dog bed - he looks at it and laughs!! 
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