I'd leave him and get HIV-tested ASAP. sm
Posted By: Ella (retired) on 2009-05-09
In Reply to: Those cheating men - SallySue
In this day and age, if a wife cares anything about herself, she had better run in the opposite direction. With HIV going around like the common cold....more than ever, a wife just can't afford to take chances.
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Leave some open boxes of baking soda inside and maybe search for carbon filters to leave in there,
s
Get it done asap...sm
You'll feel better and run less chance of developing pancreatitis from a stone blocking a duct. Since I work from home I was allowed to return to work 2 days after having the laparoscopic surgery with instructions to take frequent breaks, which the company I work for allowed me to do.
Get to your PCP ASAP..sm
I don't pretend to be a doc nor do I play one on TV. Don't wanna make any suggestions 'cause that'll stick in your head just like all the things we transcribe and identify with. Hope you get feeling better soon. Cat
I'd get a lawyer ASAP and have those
before he spends it all on the other woman or hides it offshore. No way would I let my half go with him and that other woman. I know this may sound a little harsh, but your mom needs to wake up and do something now before it's too late.
Get checked out ASAP
It might not be serious but no sense in taking any chances. Definitely don't think it would have anything to do with vision or viewing monitor for any length of time ... more of a neuromuscular thing.
Let us know how you come out. We are thinking of you!
I would get him into counselor ASAP
bb
Talk to your sister - ASAP
Depending on what kind of relationship you have with your sister, you may have to be careful what you say (you don't want to give her any reason to think you are criticizing her as a parent). But TALK to her, and soon. Your niece is a minor and is engaging in behaviors that are dangerous and irresponsible.
Yes, your niece may be angry with you, but if intervening in this situation saves her life, won't it be worth it? When your niece gets a little older and wiser, she may thank you for this (but don't hold your breath).
You are NOT interfering. You are trying to save the life of a minor child who is making bad life decisions. These days, both alcohol and sex can kill.
Good luck, and please keep us posted on what happens.
Need pediatric dental help ASAP please!!
My 7-year-olds silver cap just came off one of his teeth (all in one piece). Do I just wait until Monday to call the dentist. What do I do??? (his tooth underneath it looks awful)!!
i suggest making an appointment with your doc ASAP sm
the health of you and the baby might be at risk...why take a chance? you already have enough to worry about and have 3 more months to go! i'm glad you came here for an opinion, but we're not practitioners...i think you need to get off your feet and talk to your doc stat!
Have you been tested for -- sm
mono? also have your thyroid checked. This could cause those symptoms, as well. also, try using 1 tbs of honey mixed with 1/4 tsp of black pepper several times a day. It may sting, but if it's some type of infection, it works. get some rest. good luck.
He has been drug tested....
for his job. I don't think that drugs or alcohol are involved. We have considered it, but I just don't think that it the problem. I certainly would never let him drive with my son if I was unsure. I just don't know what it could be. It would take a book to write down all of his issues. The sad part is that his father dismisses it all because he does well in school and he is premed, but he just lacks any sort of personal character. Being smart does not make you a good person and he is just not a good person. I am still so sick to my stomach about this. I feel like I am a bad person, having mothered this kid for 13 years and now I am just ready to wash my hands of him. I am dead serious about that and it makes me ill. I pray to God that I don't ever have these feelings about my son.
Tested for lyme?
lots of Lyme disease where I live. Some of the same symptoms you listed, aches, fatigue.
Have you been tested for gout? - nm
nm
Have you been tested for mono?
I had mono before and at the beginning stages of it I had a killer sore throat.
I had to go get drug tested today for my - sm
bus substitute driver job; they provided the car for us to go the clinic. Apparently they normally take the white car, but today we took the red car because the white one was being held as they found drugs in it last week. Kind of funny as it is a county car used only by the school employees; and mainly to go to drug tests. How un-smart is that? They still don't know who is the guilty party as the car had more than normal traffic in it last week. Guess they will figure it out though, I bet everyone that has been in that car for the last 2 weeks is getting drug tested; if you test positive you are immediately fired.
has he been tested for ADHD/ADD/autism?
x
Have you ever been tested for food allergies?
What is the one thing that you have at each meal consistently? A drink? Some type of bread?
Start keeping a diary and after a couple of weeks, show it to your doctor to see what he/she thinks.
I am randomly tested for my bus driving - sm
duties. I get one day notice then have to show up at the testing place with a few other drivers and we either get alcohol testing (breathalizer) or a drug (pee) test, or both. If you test positive, you are immediately fired. I don't have a problem with that as I am responsible for other people's children and certainly would not want some alcholic or stoner driving my kids.
sad we have to battle the school system that we pay for, but has she been tested for dyslexia? sm
sounds like a repeat of my daughter who is now in 5th grade and it has been a battle every since. in fact, i posted message on here few months ago regarding her. she also has dyslexia, which is quite common and sounds like your daughter may have too. we had it in our family so i knew she had it given her symptoms. school says they can't test til 3rd grade. hello, who can catch up when they are that far behind? i fought it enough i finally got someone to say, we can test earlier if the parents' request it. so they did and it has helped her tremendously til we moved this year and now she gets a "video" dyslexia class that sux and doesn't help. i am not sure how to continue battling it from this point. at her prior school though she went from failing to A's and B's with dyslexia help and extra time on assignments, verbal reading, etc. with her IEP.
Hope the baby can now be tested to find out who the father is.
o
My husband is drug tested on a regular basis
for his job, just took 1 yesterday. It can be at any time, when he is arriving or leaving work and being as he has a responsible job, I am totally all for it as he is.
Is she on BC pills? Hormones may be contributing now. Tested for food, gluten, other allergies? nm
s
Leave Them In
My mom uses hers a lot and she leaves them in. I use hers more than I use mine and I leave mine in, too. I just got it out yesterday after a year of not using it and it still worked.
What about when they just leave their
carts in line, taking their packages and leaving for you to move out of the way. I say Excuse me, is this your cart? How rude.
get him help or leave him
nm
No, but I tell her where I'm going and bye-bye when I leave
s
I do want to leave, but (sm)
him being so agreeable scares me. I want to believe that he has been thinking the same thing and that me being the one to say it makes it easier for him not to be the "bad guy" but I am just scared that he is going to somehow try to cause me problems, I guess I just don't trust him.
Why leave is everything is okay? nm
nm
Take this from me. Leave her alone. Seriously. She will come to you sm
when she is good and ready. I was living in a snowed in town, my baby son was born in the middle of winter, my mom was 3,000 miles away, had my MIL with me, husband went back to work a week after son was born. I DIDN'T WANT ANY COMPANY. I didn't realize it at the time but I was suffering from severe PPD. And anything anyone said or did (sister in laws all acted like you did- confused, hurt, did not understand), all because they've never walked an inch in my shoes. I've been where you're friend now walks. Leave her alone. Let her mom know you are still there for her. Don't you dare give up on her, either, due to being offended. I lost a few so called friends because they couldn't handle the way I acted after my first son was born. My reaction: Good riddance. You were never my true friends anyway.
I could write a book on PPD. This is clearly what she is suffering from. And please don't tell me, "oh, just call me! I can help you! I just want to sit in the room with you!" Please. No. You don't understand. It is a severe mental condition. At this point you need meds, rest, and understanding.
Let me make a long story short. I had this one friend from college who INSISTED on seeing me. She came to the house 5 days after I got home. I LOCKED myself and the baby in the room, sat in the rocker and NEVER once left the room. I didn't want to see her. I, the social butterfly, couldn't understand it at the time, but I will tell you that I resented her "bugging" me like that. Of course, 6 months later, we were friends again. But that day was torture for me.
You don't know what she is going through, like I said. Just be there for her. Pray for her. She will come around. 8 days is too soon to bother with her if she is not ready. Having a baby is a truly precious and personal thing and all women have to deal with this event in their own way.
Women must understand this. Even friends.
Leave
Your last paragraph reveals a lot. You don't respect him and he doesn't respect you. You are not shallow. The two of you have grown apart and he is not the kind of man you want to spend your life with. Cut your losses and get out.
I leave it on
but no one eats it. It's kinda hard so I always thought it had a bone in it and probably would be difficult to take off. From now on I will probably remove it.
Leave now
It will be hard, but you can make it. I left after a nightmare of 10 years. I had 2 kids and not much money, but I got help from the state and survived by sheer will. The happiness of being free and the pride in becoming independent are well worth it. Good luck to you. Go get happy!
leave
You said you stayed with family out of state once before - can you take the kids and do that again? That might be the safest thing - then file for divorce, etc. You know him better than we do - so just trust your instincts and keep yourself and your kids safe - but you do need to get out of that marriage. . Take care and let us know how things are going.
She needs to leave well enough alone. He
might seem like her knight in shining army, but she has built a life with someone else. Obviously, she is not too unhappy to have stayed in her marriage for 25 years. Every once in a while I see my ex-fiance and my heart still gives a little extra thump. Then I stop and look at what I have. I have a wonderful husband of 30 years, 2 beautiful children, 1 adorable grandson. What more could I want. Yeah, the first guy was what some would call the love of my life. That doesn't lessen the love that I feel for my husband. The other man is now into his second marriage and, from all accounts, cheated his way through the first and they divorced after 20 years of marriage. As for my marriage, it's had its ups and downs just like any marriage, but, all in all, it has been very, very good and I wouldn't trade what I have for all the "thumps" in my heart. I could have married him and ended up being the one cheated on and divorced after 20 years. Thank God (quite literally) that I was spared that. 
You wish they would all leave?
because you have to transcribe ESLs and it is irritating, now you wish they would all leave? I didn't realize being an MT was so stressful for some. Glad I'm able to handle it. I must be a stronger person. Oh I love coming here! Makes me feel so much better about myself.
Why is it okay to leave this post up, but
delete all the other ones?
Well don't leave us hanging - let's have it!!! nm
Even a big man is not home 24/7. Leave while he is gone
d
If she wanted to leave she would have done so
It sounds like it's drama she is posting.
She is a grown woman and could have easily left him during church, while he was sleeping, at work, ect if she *really* wanted to leave.
Please tell me she didn't leave the dog...sm
with him! I'd be afraid for the dog's safety, as well as the dog being used to manipulate your daughter...
i did leave, but came back
I read your post, and just wanted to add to my post below that I did leave and just came back within the last 3 weeks. Things were pretty good at first, but now, even last night, he comes home from work at 2 am. The kids and I have been in bed for hours, and he starts a rant at 3 am about the milk being all gone that he bought the day before, and about my daughter using his shaving cream up in the bathtub. I just don't know where to go at this point. School is getting ready to start and my kids love this area. The only place I could go at this point is my mother's, that is where I went before. I don't know, I'm just venting and praying while I work. Thanks.
I did leave him once for about nine days...sm
After only 7 months of marriage I left and sort of went into hiding from him. He didn't have any idea where I was. When I finally contacted him he was totally distraught. He begged me to come back and made all kinds of promises to get counseling and go to anger management classes. Of course, the same week that I returned the "old" husband came right back.
One reason I really can't leave now is b/c we have total custody of my step-daughter and I am the only mother she has ever truly had. I don't feel like I can leave and desert her. There is no way I could ever get custody of her in our state. Thus, I keep on dragging along taking whatever is dished out my way.
I leave the radio on for them
We go away about once a month for a few days to visit my husband's mother who lives out of state, about a 4 hour drive away, and I always leave the radio on for our 3 cats just to sort of keep them company.
All the more reason why you should leave.
Do you have any friends or family that you can stay with, so you aren't alone? Not sure if it's him you are afraid of or the legal/financial stuff but maybe you would feel better if you talked to someone close to you about the situation.
Leave some $ on dresser and see what happens.
x
Fo Done: Is it right to leave a husband...
My answer to your question, in your case, is: No.
Maybe now you reject your husband so much because of this letter he wrote you, but I am sure that he regrets it and he wrote it in a state 'when he was out of his mind'. He apologized!
It is very seldom that men apologize.
Give him some t i m e to prove (oh my, I really think in this case it is prove, because it can be replaced by 'showing', but if the majority says it's proof, ok, then it's proof, I am confused now) that he wants to treat you better, give him another chance.
Don't forget, but forgive.
I am the only one who advises you to stay; I cannot believe this. All others give you their own 'horror stories', much worse than yours. Is this giving advice? Counseling?
Keep in mind, you can often give it a try, make it a little better, day by day, it takes only o n c e to leave and this is it, it's final.
Maybe if you stay, down the road, you will thank me for telling you to stay.
But......if he starts to physically abuse you, leave immediatley.
Now I am already expecting comments like....
'emotional abuse is even worse than physical abuse....etc....'
It depends on the grade of verbal abuse; some people regard even criticism as emotional and verbal abuse.
Can you not make it and just leave the
x
I did leave the seeds in...
maybe that's it. Strange stuff.
I also read you have to have a pressure-cooker for green beans and corn. I decided to blanch and freeze mine because I don't have the money right now for a pressure-cooker but that's on my list to watch the upcoming sales so I have one for next year.
Good luck to you too! Its a great way to save money after the start up costs and a much healthier alternative to store bought.
if you ask if you should leave on this board
The answer will be yes. No one will ever suggest that you do otherwise. This is the "you go girl, we hate men, leave the dirt bags, the kids will get over it" board.
I probably would tell hubs he had to leave
Nah, just kidding. The mama is trying to hide the kittens. The kittens will nurse for about 4 weeks and then they should be able to eat at least soft kitty food. Mama will start refusing to nurse when she wants the kitties to let her go, but about 4 weeks. I just had a baby kitten at my home today- the girl who does rescuing with me brought it by. She got at animal control and it was just a baby, about 4 or 5 weeks old.
No One Can Ask You To Leave Your Own Home
It does not matter whose name the house is in. Do you live in a community property state? Most of them are. The house is community/marital property even if it is in his name. Let him try to sell it without you signing to do that. He can not do that and he can not tell you to leave, no matter how much notice he gives you. HE SAYS he spoke with a lawyer who gave him that bit of advice?? Oh really??? Then tell him to have that lawyer speak to you and tell you that you have to leave YOUR home. That's right - YOUR home. You are married, right? He cannot make you leave.
Since it has come to this, though, I would start getting my ducks in a row financially and otherwise because it sounds like the beginning of the end, no matter how long that takes. To thine own self be true!! Start socking away your possessions and money without his knowledge as previously advised. Hopefully YOU will decide when it is time to go and you will be prepared. People always think they will patch things up and not have to worry about it. Not true. Eventually this WILL play out. Be ready. My heart goes out to you. Please take care of YOURSELF.
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