I'd get a lawyer ASAP and have those
Posted By: assets frozen s/m on 2008-02-27
In Reply to: My parents getting a divorce after 30-something years... - blondie
before he spends it all on the other woman or hides it offshore. No way would I let my half go with him and that other woman. I know this may sound a little harsh, but your mom needs to wake up and do something now before it's too late.
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Get it done asap...sm
You'll feel better and run less chance of developing pancreatitis from a stone blocking a duct. Since I work from home I was allowed to return to work 2 days after having the laparoscopic surgery with instructions to take frequent breaks, which the company I work for allowed me to do.
Get to your PCP ASAP..sm
I don't pretend to be a doc nor do I play one on TV. Don't wanna make any suggestions 'cause that'll stick in your head just like all the things we transcribe and identify with. Hope you get feeling better soon. Cat
Get checked out ASAP
It might not be serious but no sense in taking any chances. Definitely don't think it would have anything to do with vision or viewing monitor for any length of time ... more of a neuromuscular thing.
Let us know how you come out. We are thinking of you!
I would get him into counselor ASAP
bb
Talk to your sister - ASAP
Depending on what kind of relationship you have with your sister, you may have to be careful what you say (you don't want to give her any reason to think you are criticizing her as a parent). But TALK to her, and soon. Your niece is a minor and is engaging in behaviors that are dangerous and irresponsible.
Yes, your niece may be angry with you, but if intervening in this situation saves her life, won't it be worth it? When your niece gets a little older and wiser, she may thank you for this (but don't hold your breath).
You are NOT interfering. You are trying to save the life of a minor child who is making bad life decisions. These days, both alcohol and sex can kill.
Good luck, and please keep us posted on what happens.
Need pediatric dental help ASAP please!!
My 7-year-olds silver cap just came off one of his teeth (all in one piece). Do I just wait until Monday to call the dentist. What do I do??? (his tooth underneath it looks awful)!!
I'd leave him and get HIV-tested ASAP. sm
In this day and age, if a wife cares anything about herself, she had better run in the opposite direction. With HIV going around like the common cold....more than ever, a wife just can't afford to take chances.
i suggest making an appointment with your doc ASAP sm
the health of you and the baby might be at risk...why take a chance? you already have enough to worry about and have 3 more months to go! i'm glad you came here for an opinion, but we're not practitioners...i think you need to get off your feet and talk to your doc stat!
What's your lawyer doing
If you're separated, why aren't you and the kids in the family residence, or why isn't your ex forking over child support and alimony so you can afford your own place?
Check with welfare, Medicaid and children's services in your town to see what programs you're eligible for.
If its untenable to reside with your parents, go to a shelter until you resolve the money issues and then get your own place.
Save yourself. Light a fire under that lawyer and be more pro-active. Take charge, it you can't do it for yourself, find the strength to do it for your kid's future.
Might need to consider another lawyer
My BIL turned down for disability before, got another lawyer and it made all the difference in the world and he got his disability after being turned down before a judge. Is this lawyer strictly in the disability field or could you perhaps get a second opinion. It would not hurt to try.
I'm not a lawyer yet but...
If that bill really was first incurred in 1987 (!!!!!) there is no way on earth that it should be collectable from ANYBODY, let alone the minor child at the time!
That said, most states have a statute of limitations. Most states (you never said which state you're in, so I can't look up that state's regulations) start counting a statute of limitations from when the most recent payment was made on the account. So if your parents stopped making payments on the bill in 1999, then in a state with a 6-year statute of limitations (SOL), then legally the hospital or any secondary debt collectors cannot take legal action to collect the debt after 2005.
Now....
Not being able to take legal action to collect the debt does NOT mean that they can't try to weasel it out of you through guilt or intimidation. But they don't have a legal leg to stand on to enforce anything once the SOL has run out.
So...
They never should have gone after YOU no matter what.
And they never should have even had it in their records from 6 years after your parents last made a payment on it.
Like somebody else said - tell them to pound sand! LOL!
The lawyer and the money
Well, it seems kinda funny that shortly after her court case was settled her son died. Then, she had the committment ceremony with the sleazy lawyer. Now, a few months later she dies? Wonder who her beneficiary is. It could shed some light on the events surrounding her and her son's deaths. I wouldn't say it's all about the money, but it does seem suspicious. I still wouldn't be surprised if it winds up just being a drug overdose though.
Doctor says to lawyer
We were born on the same year, month, day, and minute. We were born in the same hospital, hospital room and we have the same 2 parents. We are not twins and we have no brothers. Explain this.
Which one? The lawyer or radio DJ..nm
x
She told her lawyer...sm
That he wouldn't get out because he said he didn't have to until the divorce was final and she can't make him leave until then which is next week. The lawyer can and will make him get out. Her lawyer is very crude and ruthless. She hates to go through all of that though. She wants him to peacefully leave. When the divorce is final she could call the sheriff's dept. and they could make him leave but she really said this would hurt her so to have to do that. It is hard enough without all that.
Mama has told him go live with the other woman. I don't think the other woman wants him there. See she is just using him because daddy has it bad for her and she uses it to her advantage to get anything she wants from him. To tell you the extent, he had around $70,000 cash in the bank less than a year ago and it is gone. My mama has seen the other woman's mame signed where she goes to his bank and everything and is allowed to get cash out. So she is just using my daddy for money and he knows this but he has it so bad for her he lets her do it. He is now broke and has no more money or not much anyway. This woman has broke him but it is his own fault for letting her. He should be smarter than that. She doesn't want him living with her I don't think or he would. I don't know. But my mom says if you hadn't gave her all your money you would have money to find a place to live. She says not her problem. Which is true.
Talk to a lawyer first - sm
I had the exact situation listed here above, house in DH name, family 4 hours away, no money, etc. In my state, VA, it is a equiable distribution state, meaning they divide it fairly, it is not an automatic 50/50 they take in each persons contributions, etc. So in my case the house would have been 40% mine as he put down the 20% on the house from the sale of his house. Our debt would have probably held where it was about 55% mine versus 45% his, or actually I might have ended up with more as my name was listed as a user on one of his accounts and I did deceive him. In my case, I was hoping he would leave, go live with his brother in MD or rent the apt. next door (neighbor has a vacant apt. over garage, tenant just died), but he would not have done it willingly. Even now after we have worked through everything, he said the other day if I screwed it up again he was taking the kids to his parents, leaving me, and would burn the house down so I got nothing. Sweet. (then again he'd be in jail and I would have the kids and the insurance money if there was any--doubtful since it would be arson). Like I said it has not been all roses but it is going well for the most part. In my case I am glad it was not the end of my marriage though I thought it would be; I talked to a lawyer in anticipation , $160 for 45 mintues, but well worth it.
Yes, get a divorce lawyer - sm
I talked to one before I confessed to my DH about the debt he knew nothing about ($88K) figuring my marriage would be over. In the event of a divorce I would have walked away with no debt, no home, but enough leftover to either buy a house with a good downpayment, or rent and be able to afford it for quite a while. I know my DH would have tried to get the kids too but I don't think he would have "won" despite my deception about the debt. I do everything for my kids, he does nothing except make dinner a couple times a week and takes them to the movies or skating every 3-4 weeks, that is it. I never got so low as to open cards in his name, and I am thankful I never sunk to that level though it did cross my mind once or twice I knew it was horribly wrong. I suspect he just filled out them in your name, maybe even on line, and then transfered his debt to yours, possibly putting himself as a user on the account, but even w/o doing that he could still transfer his debt to "your card", I know, I would transfer debt off my husband's cards onto mine so his credit would stay pristine, and so he would not find out. I would inform the companies that you did not open the accounts, have a fraud investigation started. As for telling him about the debt, since you are already heading for divorce, I would not tell him a thing, let the lawyers figure it out. They will do a list of assets and debts and figure it all out in the settlement. He can find out then. Run a credit report on yourself and find out how many cards he opened up in your name, and call each one, or better yet talk to a lawyer first and see what they have to say on the matter. I know my mess was/is bad but very thankful my DH ended up to be forgiving enough or just too lazy to go thru another divorce (I am his 2nd wife), and/or did not want to put the kids thru that. But the sooner you get the ball rolling and start taking care of things the better you will feel, I know, I feel so much better now. You kids will be happier too. Do not stay for the kids or keeping a stable home, etc. If you are miserable, then they are too and it is a horrible example for them. In my case a miracle happened and things are better than they have been in a long time, but it sounds like your case is terminal. I wish you the best of luck.
She needs to talk to a lawyer before doing - sm
anything. Before I confessed to my DH about our debt back in Oct./Nov., cannot even remember when now, I talked to a lawyer as I wanted to know what my rights were and where I would stand in the event of a divorce. She was quite clear about not taking the kids out of the state. Once your friend has a custody agreement in place then maybe, obviously the lawyer and courthouse clerk could best advise her on that, but there are a lot of things that need to be done prior to that or he can call the cops, etc. He sounds like a primo A-hole. She needs to move fast before they lose their house though.
CPS does tell if lawyer gets involved. have had every detail given to me before sm
when they were called in me for my kids riding their bikes in the neighborhood streets like every kid in the neighborhood did. we hired lawyer, refused the one on one investigation at school with the kids, and had the "meeting" at the laywers office. never allowed them in our home, but our lawyer got every detail of the report, which was passed onto us. we had the date, the name of the person who called, their address, everything.
You can probably make-up a date to see a lawyer
because marriage is based on truth. Just tell him you are done! End of story. If he catches you in a lie, that could spell trouble. JMO. 
Time for a call to a lawyer.
x
Take this to a lawyer. Fight for him. This cannot be legal.
asf
I did talk to a lawyer too before I dropped - sm
the bomb on my DH as I wanted to know where I stood. I live in a state where they do an equitable disbursement of the marital goods, assets, etc. I would have a 40% stake in the house, entitled to about $100K in his 401K (1/2 of its growth since we married), 1/2 of assets we purchased together. Though a judge would deem what it fair, either way I would walk away debt-free though I would not have a home if we sold everything. He told me in one of his pissy moments that if we lose the house (which there is no danger of) he is moving in with his parents with the kids and I am on my own. What he does not realize that no judge would give him custody (has depression , threatened suicide, etc) and the kids would want to be with me. He has a temper too that gets the better of him too much and he is an alcoholic as well. So if a judge gave him custody I would be totally shocked. I am relatively healthy though overweight by 70 pounds, drink a glass of wine 5 days a week maybe (that is it--he drinks 9-12 beers a day --every day--- though he has cut down to 9 since the 13th for which I am happy for though I'd rather he quit altogether---But good thing to find out where you would stand in a divorce and what you would need to do in terms of custody if push came to shove.
probably call a lawyer dont you think?
Maybe she could see a counselor herself and see if they could help her to make the decision or at least scoot her in the right direction about what she needs to do or who to talk to.
That's too bad of a situation... wish her the best
Go talk to a lawyer pronto - sm
I did this before I confessed to my DH about our debt issues back in October as our house is in his name only as is the mortgage, and wanted to know where I stood with my "share" of our assets. If it was bought after you married, as ours was, then it is maritial property. The division is not 50/50 unless you both contributed equally to the downpayment, in my case he used the money from the sale of our (his) former house that he had before we married. So my share would be something like 40%. Our two cars are in both our names, except our boat and utility trailer, those are his which is just fine with me. I also have no money, but he (we) has a very nice 401K (still by some miracle), of which I would be entitled 50% of the earnings in the time period of our marriage. But basically regardless of whose name is on what it is maritial property as long as you lived in it together and you contributed to the household in some way whether it is paying all the bills, or some, or staying home to take care of the kids, it is a contribution. They figure out all the percentages, etc. I would not leave the home though, he will say you left the marriage, etc. Call around, see if you can get a free consult or a discounted consult. I think I paid $160 for my 45 minute phone call but I felt much better for doing so. Luckily I did not end up needing the lawyer, but I was ready to do so if necessary. Good Luck.
,,,use your support system, and find a lawyer who
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I'd tell him to save HIS money for a divorce lawyer sm
He seems kind of rude to me. No way my hubby would dictate to me like that. He knows I would show him the door
Machine of my choice - divorce lawyer
I couldn't live like that. Besides the awful stench and the health hazards, I wouldn't stand for his lack of respect for me.
Call lawyer! Nobody here is atty. Consultation will
x
Good point, I will be contacting a lawyer - sm
to get their input, though I wil probably do the filing solo so I save money, only about $300 if I do it myself. Just need to get info and follow the rules.
Oh sorry. I thought he was a lawyer and the other two guys' father was judge. sm
My bad, but either way daddy can get him out of it.
Good luck but I doubt you will find a lawyer sm
First of all, I am glad that your sister knows the truth and is not dying. Unfortunately I know from experience what it is like for a loved one to be given a misdiagnosis death sentence. My father-in-law went in the hospital almost 2 years ago with trouble swallowing and ended up getting referred to an ENT that sent him over to a neurologist. He did an EMG/NCS on his tongue, said he had ALS, and to prepare within 6 months to make a decision on being on a ventilator or being DNR. He had to quit working early & be fed through a PEG for over a year, during which time I took him to a different neurologist, a specialist in motor neuron diseases, who said that EMGs performed on the tongue are unreliable and that he had no evidence of ALS at all. Basically what had happened is that his vocal cord was not working properly, and the ENT said it was paralyzed, which is was not. Because the first neurologist just assumed the ENT was correct, he made the diagnosis. I tried calling a few lawyers for the pain and suffering aspect, but unless you want to try through civil court, there is no malpractice involved because there was no permanent physical damage done. They're lucky he didn't follow through with the suicidal thoughts he was having when he was first told all of this bullcr@p.
Find a lawyer, find out where you would stand - sm
in the event of a divorce/separation, regarding custody, house, etc. Custody was my main concern as well since I lied on numerous occasions about the finances. Where I am I was told that would not factor in to the custody at all. I can prove that I am my kids caregiver 90% of the time, I ferry they around everywhere, help with homework, get ready for school, meet at busstop, etc. I could also point out my husband is an alcoholic, self treats his depression with alcohol instead of getting proper medical treatment, has threatend to kill himself (or me) numerous times (though he always says he was joking and did not mean it.....that is his standard answer to everything, or that he never said that). Now I do love him enough to deal with all that because deep down inside my DH is full of it, luckily for me, he has never followed through on anything he says he is going to do. But I thought my confession would be the straw that broke it all and send him over the edge. He still is angry with me, I am sure he will be for a long time, but is keeping it together pretty well, though he has said the stress was going to kill him, now he know how I felt I guess. I am sorry your husband is such a smuck. I feel like a dog sometimes with the sex demands, have to do it the night before he goes out of town....he will be traveling a lot for work for the next 3-4 months, which I am more than glad about, much calmer here then, though it gets tiring for me but as he is not really helping much right now it really won't be much of a change. As for yours going on 5 day weekends.....have you considered having him followed, sounds like there may be some infidelity afoot, and if so that would strengthen your case in the event of a divorce and custody I would think. Sounds a bit fishy going out until 1 a.m. and his frequent trips. My DH fishes too, but he goes 2 miles from here with one of our male neighbors, they shoot the breeze and he gets to unwind some which I encourage. Very rare weekends with a buddy of his, I am talking once every 2 years, which again is fine with me. Start keeping track of all you do, when he is home, where he supposedly goes, with whom, etc. He cannot show he will be a responsible dad if he is never there or never interacts with his own kids. My DH would probably suggest I take our older daughter and he the younger, spliting them up, he has the same perception, the oldest is mine, the youngest is his. Our younger daughter is much easier to deal with, our older daughter drives him nuts and she is only 10. My younger one (8) knows something has been going one though, and worries we will divorce, which she does not want. She is very perceptive for her years. I hope that if you do go the divorce route, which would actually probably be best in your situation, that it all works out for you and you get your fair share of assets, etc. Make sure before you do anything like that you have all your ducks in a row, so talk to divorce lawyer. I talked to one for 45 minutes, cost me $160 but was worth it to set my mind at ease. Good luck.
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