Hubby with hearing and greedy problems
Posted By: Rosemarie Danelle on 2008-11-30
In Reply to: 2 problems with hubby - any advice??? - Silly girl
Dear NOT Silly Girl,
I am a clinical psychologist and now teach medical transcription. I lost my deaf old sweetie 2 years ago. He was incredibly vain about wearing aids and/or his glasses. FINALLY got him to an audiologist in Canada (half the price than here in US) but getting him to wear the aids was another matter. Solved it by training just like dog or horse. Yep! Intermittent positive reinforcement - rewards, treats, smooches, etc. I told him I would only go out to dinner or shopping with him if he wore the hearing aids. Refused to go out of house with him unless he had them on -- and he loved going out! It worked, except then I still had to repeat everything 3 times inside! Many, many frank discussions also helped. Turned out he was incredibly vain and thought he looked old with hearing aids. I finally convinced him that shouting at people REALLY made him look old. He got contacts instead of glasses.
As to self-centeredness, that has to be educated out of him, too. All this takes time. Just talk to him about values whenever he acts that way, and when he stops the selfishness, reward him. That is not acceptable behavior in an adult -- and I would tell him so directly.
Good luck.
Rosie
By the way, I would take
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i think you are greedy
The dog shouldnt have bit her and the owners should be responsible. If the dog is dangerous, it should be put down. But you did not have to pay 800.00 out of pocket and I think the 87 dollars should be enough. No amount of money is going to make your daughter feel secure in her neighborhood. How you handle the situation will only do that. It seems to me that you are using this as an opportunity to get some money out of them. If it were me, I would be pushing for the dog to either be put down or the leash laws to be enforced, not pushing for the almighty dollar. What is getting money going to accomplish?
It's just a hearing - bet they let her go.
nm
Yes, I have been hearing this for the last
few months, on and off.
The OP is not hearing anything except what she wants
I have not been vile- have been telling her the way credit is checked and yet she turns it around to say we are saying her son is a crook. She is not listening, just flapping her jaws.
and hearing aids
a woman that my daughter works with forgot to put her hearing aids up in their case when she went to bed one night - and her dog chewed one of them up during the night. fortunately, my daughter wears hearing aids and gave the woman one of her old ones (she's on her third set and now has a set that is digital). Her older one worked perfectly - glad that headsets are not the price of hearing aids - or none of us could afford to work (1200-5000 a set)
I am so sick of hearing about
I have heard enough!
 Apparently she still has all of her female parts, except breasts...she gave birth vaginally...so it's NOT A MAN...IT'S A WOMAN. I certainly hope that losing one's breasts does not disqualify us from being a woman. This poor child is going to be so confused when she learns the circumstances of her birth. Not to mention that the other woman is breast feeding her...I feel for the innocent baby who is going to be the one to pay for her parents stupidity!
Is he hard of hearing?
I ask that seriously because my husband has the same problem, that and he has so many other things going through his head and for whatever reason the things I tell him seem to be the least important to remember! Could you get a bulletin board and tack notes up on it with what he needs to remember, send him emails etc. I send my husband a lot of emails as he works nights and that is the easiest way to "remind" him!
Love hearing this!
I like knowing I am "normal". I get up about 6:45 every morning, make lunches and am sitting working by 7 am. Okay, I confess, FIRST I check my email and MT Stars, etc. and then I get working so really about 7:15 am. Around 11 I take my first break, shower and get ready for the day and then work again until the kids get home about 3 pm. I hate when something messes up that schedule and with the kids at home next week it will so screw me up. I'd much rather be hanging with them than doing this. With 4 at home it is very hard to be as productive.
JMO but I feel that yes you can't prevent them hearing it
in school, etc., but you can prevent yourselves from condoning it which is what you'd be doing by giving it to her. And then when she tells her friends some will very likely tell their parents (who may not want to go that route) "Well my friend so-and-so's parents got it for her!" So, I agree with you on this one. And, again, just my opinion. :)
My doc says it's early hearing loss. sm
I went in 2 weeks ago for my check up and complained about the ringing in my right ear. He said it's early hearing loss and if it bothers me to see the ENT and get a hearing test done. LOL-like I have time for that right now.
I remember hearing the same thing
last year about Walmart. However, my sister works there and she said it wasn't true. I think that at Walmart their ads and banners say Happy Holidays, so that is the corporate message, if you will, but employees won't get fired for saying Merry Christmas. I guess I should say that she works at a WalMart in a small midwest town. I suppose it could be different in the big cities. MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
No, just tired of hearing idiots
such as yourself. Always shooting the mouth off...if I want to smoke it is my business. People like you have real problems - always getting involved in other people's business to cover up your own inadequacies.
I do remember hearing just a tiny bit about
Amelia Island. What makes it an old pirate town? Would LOVE to hear all about it. I'm going to put that on my list to look at visiting. You know, as far as entertainment goes - I don't care to go someplace else hundreds of miles from my home to do something that I could do in my home state so "local" things to do/places to eat are always high on my list!
This is the unknown in me coming out but is it a "true" island - do you have to take a ferry out or do you fly??
By not transcribing a court hearing
a woman here in town is now sitting in jail. She either did not want to or ignored not finishing a particular case and when she did so called finish, she was 90 pages short. The judge has just sent her to jail. Ekkk.
ME! Best thing about working at home, not hearing about
boring sports!
This is a great idea - save your hearing
for work. (The electric ones are much quieter).
Since you have a slope, it matters whether it's rear-wheel drive or front-wheel drive. One of them will give you trouble, but I can't remember which. Salesman told DH.
Woah, I'm pretty much sick of hearing...sm
about this and so have not comment. However, I must comment when someone blames gun laws or suggests taking guns away from Americans!!!! This has absolutely nothing to do with guns or gun laws.
Guns are just a tool...they do not just kill people, just like knives, baseball bats, etc. People kill people period! Would all the anti-gun people feel better if these people were killed with a knife, chainsaw, etc.? Come on, we have gun laws in place. However, criminals and crazy people do not follow laws! The only thing stricter gun laws are going to do is make it harder for law abiding gun owners to get and keep their guns, and that is just dumb! I think gun laws need to be made less strict if anything. Maybe if a few people armed themselves, they wouldn't be so defenseless when some nut tried to shoot them for some reason. At very least, if you don't want to arm yourself, leave the rest of us who do alone.
If you're not tired of hearing about mine, LOL
I have posted regularly about my two, Sasha and CJ. The dog I lost at Christmas was my most enthusiastic digger, and preferred to sleep outside when it was cool. I'd often find her lying in a circle inside the mole moat she had dug. I assume she wanted to be ready in case the moles popped up close at night so she could surprise them. She was my red and white girl with the big teddy bear face. She could shove her head in a hole up to her ears. She also liked to snorkle like a bear when she swam, with just her eyebrows above water.
Sasha is my pure white Siberian (a rescue we've had for 6 years, now age 7), and at times as dainty as a poodle (hence her nickname "Poodle Girl"), but she is also quite the hunter and has showed off more catches than Misha ever did. Sasha has brought in moles and birds and we have also witnessed her catching squirrels - quite a feat.
Most recently we added a 6-year-old named CJ - our first male. He is a complete mama's boy and quite the chow hound. He would stand on his head for a chicken strip. He is gray and white, marked just like a malamute, so one of his nicknames is MiniMal. He happens to have lovely deep brown eyes, so we also call him Rootbeer. Since he's our first male, DH is having a terrible time remembering to refer to him as a HIM, so I also call CJ Boy, and DH has picked that up, but still says HER because it's such a habit. CJ has a bit of a nervous tummy. He'd been placed with a couple of families by his breeder previously, but had been returned because of issues. His issues are that he doesn't like to be left alone, and supposedly howls if he is. Of course he's never been alone here since I currently work at home and Sasha is always here. Now if I go outside and leave CJ inside, he watches like a hawk out the window or storm door. Sometimes he will cry for me, but I have trouble hearing him even if it's only the glass storm door that's restraining him. So if his vocalizing was a problem, they had to have been leaving him outside. Umm, this dog in not a yard dog, so that's what the problem was. Which makes me kind of mad. You shouldn't get a dog if you aren't smart enough to figure out solutions to things like that, IMO.
Heck, we sold our townhouse for our first dog, and purchased a house with a shaded, fenced-in yard for our first dog, because she needed that. So why somebody couldn't put in a doggy door or take their dog to day care or whatever it took to make it work, I don't know.
I am so tired of hearing so many people I meet say they SM
hate cats. What is with these people, and what in the name of God do cats do to offend so many people? One of my friends told me on a shopping trip last fall about 15 times how she hated cats, but LOVES dogs. Finally I just fired back at her and asked her what in the world was wrong with HER? She got red in the face and muttered something about hating when they rub up against her. Give me a break. I could not take any more thatt day. Every shop we went into and she saw a cat on a picture, a mug, ANYTHING and I had to hear how she hated these wonderful, clever little creatures. All my life I have heard this nonsense. What is it with CATS?? My sister and nieces have cats and always have had them and we could not love them more. Would you believe last year my niece was in line at the store waiting to pay for cat food, when a guy behind her actually tapped her on the shoulder and looked at the cat food she was buying and proudly stated I HATE CATS. I agree with my niece when she said to me a few months ago that cats just don't get the recognition they deserve. When her cat of 20 years was failing but according to the vet not in pain, she took him to bed and slept next to him so he could die in her arms, which he did. We will never forget our Willie. He had a sweetness that will live on forever.
I remeber hearing it in 1982. Started way before then. nm
!
Hey, could I be your neighbor? I am tired of hearing my dog bark...
But sometimes, there goes that big, humongous but....my daughter's dog barks constantly, I am thinking about getting him a muzzle? Is that against the law? And what if someone is trying to break in? I have not worked in a couple of days but my neighbor's dog use to make me want to take Valium, nonstop. I never complained to them. Now she makes little remarks about our dog...
Buy him a hearing aid for Christmas - Both problems solved! hah. nm
.
yes, but hearing he has to serve about 6-9 before eligible for parole
nm
I am so tired of hearing how people fall for scams
You do not have to be old to be taken in so let's shelf that right now. I just saw on a judge show where a lady gave a guy 1500.00 out of her acct, leaving her with $81. This person thought she would get repaid and then make some. I read about people answering ads saying send in XXX and make $5,000.00 a day, week, whatever fits in here. I see where people stopped outside a store, a person has found a bundle of money and they want you to go to the bank and get the same amount, then all that to be put in the bundle and you get half of that? Can we say flim-flam? I cannot believe all the gulliable, seems like you have never been outside your home, absolutely idiotic people in my life. Why am I getting so angry listening to all this. I really am just BURNT up.
ditto.... early hearing loss here too causing ringing.
I'm not even THAT old!!
I agree with you. During the hearing this morning, it was stated that Daniel did not like the Baham
They stated that Daniel considered California home. I wish they could both be buried in California and rest in peace together.
Our old OB head nurse had to talk one lady out of naming her daughter Vagina, said she kept hearing
X
My ex-hubby had it done.
He wasn't too keen on the idea either. He confided later that it was goofy stuff that bothered him--like what happens if there's an earthquake while he's on the table?
Anyway, he was tender for a day or two, but some Tylenol took care of it.
Actually I ended up having a tubal ligation done after we split up. That was pretty easy, too. They did it with a laparoscope, and used silicone squeeze clips on the tubes rather than cutting them. Easy peasy.
My hubby had one at about 46.
DH had anterior cervical laminectomy 2-3 years ago.
It was scary for me, and it was the only time they kept him overnight. They sent him home after rotator cuff and (of course) knee arthroscopy. The bad thing about Friday surgery is that the office isn't open if you have a question that doesn't seem like enough of an emergency to call about. They made DH a hard cervical collar ahead of time. Be sure they give you 2 sets of the cushion inserts for the collar, because you will want to be able to wash and air-dry one, but not have her without one. Do ask about whether she is to sleep with the collar on. Because DH had a plate put in, after the fact we were told that supposedly the collar was just to remind him to be careful, but he was sleeping with it on for about a week, I guess. Getting up and down out of bed was scary, especially because he wanted to sleep on his side. Very scary to get into that position, but once he was in it he could finally sleep. I was appalled how apneic he sounded at night. He always has a little problem, but with the collar on he was having pretty long pauses. He is a big guy and at risk for that anyway. The scariest thing for me when DH had this and the shoulder surgery is that he is 6 foot 2 inches and big. Me? 5 foot 6 inches and average weight. Thank goodness his mom was there for the shoulder surgery, but I think we did it alone for the neck surgery AFTER he stayed one night in the hospital. Oh, and because of the anterior approach, swallowing was hard for quite a while. Speech also was affected, maybe it was with hoarseness? Can't remember. Due to swelling, his throat was not totally normal again for 6 months after surgery.
You might rather be fat but my hubby
cooked some brown rice yesterday with garlic, red and green peppers, Kokoman sauce and other ingredients he just throws together. This was along with some turkey wings with a sauce that I spooned on the rice and cabbage with peppercorns. I cannot find a restaurant that can come close to his cooking. He never tastes and always hopes that I like it. I am 1 lucky girl. He is very mindful of eating healthy and we very seldom have red meat, once in a great while but his lemon chickens, marinated meats and other things make me really disappointed to eat out and then have inferior food. He says I can do the same. No thanks..... I will not shame myself. When he is gone from home (he drives and away) he fixes salads with his own dressings and OMG, I am just sitting here with a smile on my face. I am sure no one can compare with his foods!!
Hubby
I wonder if he is not looking. One of my daughter’s friends is having a birthday party Sunday. His mother drove by our house to drop off an invitation. We both talked for a while. She is a really an attractive lady. She looks like she could probably model swimsuits. Anyway, she had invited me to go jogging with her because I mentioned I was interested in getting into an exercise program. I am 60 pounds overweight. I also mentioned job burnout and told her I had been thinking about getting out of MT and the medical profession totally and going into something else. She told me that there maybe some job openings at the company she works at because they are expanding. She is also the supervisor of the collections/credit department there and told me of all the wonder benefits the company offers and told me that if I decided I wanted a change, she would put in a good word for me. Later I told H that she was nice. DH said, “I think she wants me (him)” I told him he was full of himself. Bad part is, 8 years ago I would have been jealous but now if he did run off with someone else, I think the sweetest revenge for me would be to let the woman keep him and give her full custody of MIL.
hubby
May be you 2 need to spice things up again. Like go out on dates, etc... It sounds like alot of your gyn issues could be effecting the way you look at sex. I would definitely talk to someone about it. May be there is a pill you can take!! :)
My hubby had 1 and did not like
He is a really neat guy and took so much time just cleaning after 1 use. I know some just use time and time again without cleaning but that is just not him, wants his spic and span each and every time.
I have used, my hubby believe it or not
was able to pull off an entire hair 1 time like that. It is really good for sparse hair and it does cover, comes in all colors and different sizes. He was going to a hatless place (because of his hair loss, he wears his hat all the time) but used that day and no one knew. Great stuff!
What would I do without hubby.
I feel guilty, but I didn't think I'd still be working at this age. My mom was a housewife, even though she had a college degree.
ex-hubby
That's funny - I did the same thing, although my son had NO contact with his father from the time he was 3. When he was getting married, (at 26), I asked him if he wanted me to contact his father. He said his "real" father would be there (my now husband who raised him) and that he didn't want some guy who with one squirt was labeled his "father" to be part of his life.
Afterwards, when he called and wanted to contact my son, I got his phone # and told him I'd have my son contact him if he wanted to. My son wouldn't even let me give him the phone #. Another bunch of time went by and he called again - how he keeps getting my phone number is behond me - first he found me in Connecticut, then Colorado and then Texas (he's in NY). This time he accused me of not giving his phone # to my son and I said I tried, but he didn't want it. He didn't believe me, of course, but I then got rid of my regular phone and got Vonage and I haven't heard from him since. But Ive never been sorry that it worked out this way. Serves him right for being a lousy father.
hubby
ONe thing i have learned is men ALWAYS think it is greener on the other side and come crying back because its not. So what if you have gained weight I am sure he has to. Do you believe he is being faithful to you? Maybe this is his way of feeling guilty for something he did while traveling. Try counseling. It worked for us. We all need to leave our hubbys for a week with the kids and ALL our jobs and let them see how tuff it really is. They feel since we work at home we have the freedom to do everything with time left over!! COME ON! I wish you lots of luck. I would tell him if you really loved me you would deal with me the way that I am. Yes I can try to change but is that really the root of the problem here. Sounds like an excuse! Sorry, but being organized and gaining weight should have nothing to do with if he still loves you or not. Tell him didn't he take the same vows as you did "Till death do us part"
My hubby is
incredibly wonderful. We will be married 20 years in October. We renewed our vows at 10 years (Just the 2 of us at a small chapel, well of corse a minister) and for 20 years the children want to be with us. There is a running joke in my family....My parents say that if we ever divorce, he can come "home".
hubby
ago and demanded my husband see his doctor. He went on Prozac and things were oh, so much better for a long, long time. Now he is off the Prozac, as he was tired of the side effects. We are back to the same crap as before, and I am so weary of it. I don't know what to do. I'm praying for wisdom. He just seems like he hates us all, that we are nothing but a pain in the a$$, and we all tread lightly because of his garbage. Unfair. Hugs to you.
That's where I'm from too, and hubby
was born in WV, but his dad moved them to Indiana when my hubby was very little. DH's dad was the first one in the family not to be a coal miner.
Hubby is a big packer fan, which sure makes my dad happy. The Packers are the only team I'll watch. Brett is adorable. I'm glad he has a super wife (since I can't have him :o>).
your hubby
I feel for you... and the signs seem pretty classic from here suggesting that he most likely has another lady. Cell phones may not work "out there" but somewhere along the way he eats, drinks, sleeps, etc and there are pay phones if nothing else. Your acceptance of his excuses give him the room to do as he pleases and his beating you down keeps you from thinking straight/catching him in his own game. Sounds like you need to dry those eyes and open them to take a good look at reality - then deal. It hurts and bites, but until you deal, nothing changes. If you really want to teach your kids about better relationships, show them the strength to stand for what is true and right.
How old is your hubby?
Mine's in his mid 50s. We had the same problem. Doc took a blood test and found very, very low testosterone, put him on replacement, and a month later he's got energy again! not just for sex, either, but work, yard work, repairs. Wonderful stuff, that, if it's used right!
My hubby and I...
still have long, passionate kisses...our kids complain all the time about it...*Geez Mom, Dad...that's sooo gross* We are always touching when we are together, whether it's holding hands, arms around each other, or just my/his hand on his/my leg...you have to keep the fire going or it will most certainly fade!
your hubby/his son
Just wondering what kind of "help" you were asking for from your FIL?
I know you were frustrated but just because he had not yet gotten hold of you doesn't mean he wasn't working something out to be able to help his son.
I remember once my aunt wrote a letter to my grandpa about how she thought he showed a preference for her brother and how upset she was about it. (She had seen her brother at my grandparents' house on a holiday and was so resentful that she had not also been invited.) My grandpa was so hurt by the letter. My aunt had assumed something happened that did not (the brother had just dropped by for an impromptu visit). She let her emotions carry her away, and really hurt her father.
It sounds like part of you might be blaming your FIL for your husband's behavior. That's not good. Your husband has to take full responsibility for his actions and you need to stop making excuses. I have a bipolar brother. He has been battling his problem for 15 years. Sometimes he tries to take his medications and make progress in his life and sometimes he sits and whines about how bad off things are and wants everybody to cater to him. Guess when he gets the best response from his family? Even though your husband has a mental illness, he is still responsible for getting treatment and not making the lives of everyone around him miserable.
If your FIL wants to help his other son, whether or not you think the guy should be hung from the highest tree or not, that is your FIL's decision.
Hubby and I do EVERYTHING sm
around here including remodeling. The only thing I hire out is twice a year I have someone come in and do the heavy spring cleaning because I have some medical problems that keep me from doing it. I can type three hours and pay for it. Matter of fact tomorrow is the day! YEAH.
I would love to be able to afford someone to do alot more of it but can't and hubby wouldn't let somebody else do it if we could afford it! Too picky!
I have been with hubby 23 years....
and you have got to love them for trying, not that their timing is the best. Mine I would have just looked at him, laughed and said "find something better to do at the moment" and then tackle him later. I think they just like a little extra attention. LOL
Hugs to you and your hubby!!
My best friend had a miscarriage in 1994 and she still gets a little emotional when she talks about, even though she went on to have 2 healthy daughters.
Is your hubby active?
What I mean is he involved in outside interests clubs,volunteer ,maybe a hobby? I know a lot of yall here are still working fulltime, but there will come that day when you and hubby will be together all day side by side!! just wish mine would find an outside interest but he finds something wrong with any suggestion so I have quit saying anything he loves to stay at home.
Hubby obviously has issues
That the two of you can work on/out at a time that is much less stressful, so when situations occur, you're prepared.
If it had been me, at the moment he started screaming and yelling, I would have taken the kids and left the house. I would not have exposed my kids to all that anger, and making excuses for him doesn't make it all right. Yelling at you and the kids is abuse. If he wants to rant and rave by golly, he can do it by himself.
Hubby definitely into supplements and the like
so I will ask him to research about what you have said above and ask him to get for me. I might have said in the first post, the leg pains (only of a night)wake me from sleep. I at 1 time (knocking on wood as I type this) had electrical currents that would shoot up thru my foot- only when I walked and never knew when it was going to happen. These leg pains are deep, deep aching pains and when I wake, cannot find a comfortable position. Is this what your hubby had or similar? Don't know how the antidepressant would work, have never been advised to take but then again, have nothing for the deep aches either. Tell me how he was diagnosed, treatment so far, etc. Thanks.
What has worked with my hubby -
Men want to be fed. They want REAL food. To them, that means meat. I take hubby to Longhorn that night, he orders a big steak, potato, veggies, salad, etc. I also buy him some silk boxers with hearts on them and, well, you can guess the rest! He usually gets me candy and flowers, but he is always very surprised and happy when I do things for him this day. Good luck! :-)
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