How will our daughters learn to stand up for themselves if we do not lead by example
Posted By: Go Mom Go!!! on 2007-09-24
In Reply to: Trose: Update on swimming class - not happy
I have always stood up for my daughter and have tried to teach her the same and now that she is getting older I can see that it is paying off. You go girl!!!!!
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I just think you lead them there first, and let them learn for themselves what is right or wrong (sm
If you point out everyone's sin to them before they learn about God's love, they are going to run.
Yeah. I dont wear lead apron, I just stand in other
x
People in other countries do not chose to learn English, they HAVE to learn it in school
for a period of 8 to 12 years.
That's great! Everyone should learn to cook & learn
s
Dad said: You can learn from your own mistakes, but it's easier to learn from
x
I do believe in God, I don't believe he would lead (sm)
someone to have an abortion. I do think children can be born into bad homes that make them turn into criminals. I just think it needs to take a little longer to get an abortion, require some counselling about the possible emotional effects later for the girl/woman and the child's father as well. There needs to be more emphasis placed on people who want to give their children up for adoption. The whole issue just needs to be more organized and more controlled. There shouldn't be so many babies needlessly dying.
lol... at least there was no LEAD in it!
Lead in lipstick - what's next?
They mentioned brands like L'Oreal and Cover Girl. Are you starting to read labels? Ever read canned good labels - like applesauce - yep, China.
Talked to breeder, possible lead
I called my Misha's breeder to see if she had run into any diseases in her dogs. She figured out who the parents were and then remembered that her father, Bear, had lupus. Because his problem involved anemia, I believe she means SLE, which is the bad kind. But it does fit Misha quite well since it can cause neurological symptoms and other quirky problems she's had over the years, so I'm going to have them check her ANA. She's on prednisone right now, which is the appropriate treatment for SLE anyway. I think I can sleep now that I have a theory.
Talking to me about my smoking may lead
to burn marks on your forehead as I put out my cigarette. Oh, was that your head?
Some men don't see the little steps that lead to affairs...
What I am seeing that are red flags include...
1) She has chosen to discuss her relationship/marital problems with a married person of the opposite sex - this 100% creates an intimate situation between 2 people that should only exist in the relationship/marriage.
2) She has chosen to discuss her marital problems with her clients - this is not really appropriate client/professional behavior. She is looking for a personal connection with someone.
3) She has accepted a fairly large amount of money from a client given to help her personal situation and not as a professional thank you - this is setting up a deeper intimate relationship. She is looking for a provider.
4) Your husband seems to be filling a need to be important and a hero in someone's life by giving her this money (I agree with hero concept below but sex isn't necessarily the solution) - he is responding to the deeper intimate relationship. He is being the provider.
5) He is mad at you and telling you that you are being stupid about this - he is invested in this relationship enough to defend it.
For every step he takes forward, the relationship has a chance of becoming more serious. As each little step that he takes becomes okay with him, the next step is a little closer and a little more natural. While he may never get up 1 day and say I am going to have an affair, he is about halfway down the road and might not realize it yet.
I strongly suggest talking with him about it. Food and sex is a not a cure for this one. Make sure he knows that you are not comfortable with this and you are both done seeing this gal as a hairdresser.
In some locations, you can rent an exerciser instructor to lead
s
im the one who started this conversation. things always lead to an argument on this board.
but, i have friends who never started teh santa thing, and then i have friends who still practice the santa tradition. i never questioned myself. i just did as i had been raised. but i understand how some people just dont even start santa. its cool either way. and no one has to agree...everyone is different, i respect differences. but there has got to be a cut off point for puplic school teachers, to step back and leave things for teh parents. yes other kids tell them the truth about santa and, at least i have taught my children that its "bologna..if they dont believe, they dont get presents...bla bla"..so tehy have no prob blowing that off. but when their TEACHER says it, it might as well be the GOSPEL. ya know.
Thank God for daughters
My daughter came home and started going through scripture. This is what she came up with. It made me even sadder thinking about what a loss it is to lose a child.
Our dearest friends, "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you." -1 James 5:7 We are truly sorry for the world's loss and your pain. We're here for you.
me: Appreciate the input to all who posted. I knew she'd do it for me, but wasn't sure if she'd be here in time.
This is so sad....
I have three daughters (sm)
My oldest daughter has a different father than my youngest two. This situation had nothing with a breach of faithfulness to my ex-husband or current husband. I've been entirely faithful in my marriages. My current husband raises her as his own and has since before she was 2. We have as close to a nuclear family as can be expected in this situation.
We cannot assume that because children have different biological fathers (or mothers) in one family that there was some wrongdoing. :)
Two daughters 14 and 4
1. What ages are your kids?
14 and 4
2. Do they have their own cell phone? No,we were planning on getting my daughter a prepaid cell phone for Christmas until we realized all she wanted it for was to text and talk to her friends even though we had told her it was just for emergencies. She uses her father's cell phone if she needs to be away from home where I don't have an exact time to pick her up and has to call for a ride. Too many of her friends have cell phones and run up $500 bills and their parents think nothing of it (that's why we were leaning towards a prepay) or have the most expensive cell phones on the market. We also thought that she'd use up in her minutes in weeks instead of months.
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these: My four year doesn't have a TV yet, but my oldest does. She has her own laptop computer courtesy of her cousin, but it's right next to mine and she only can be on it for an hour a day. She's been grounded from it so many times for going over the hour, but she knows there are consequences for not following the rules.
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?
The four year old doesn't yet, although she helps me more than the 14 year old without asking. LOL. The 14 year old just gets $5 a week for doing her chores, more when I'm really busy and I need her to watch her younger sister.
my daughters are 5, 2, and 1 so they don't say anything
sometimes the 5 year old will aske me why I don't like granny or why granny doesn't talk to me.
To answere your question, no, not really.
Long story short, brother in law was in jail and wanted pics of our kids. we said no and told her not to send either. she sent them anyway and when my husband called to say something to her about it, he talked to his dad and he got all mad about us not wanting pics of our kids in jail. they did not call us, talk to us, see our kids for 6 months. Then want to pretend like nothing ever happened (with my husband) when they came for a b-day party in Nov. This was the first time we saw them and she gave me a complete attitude, did not speak to me, turned her back to me everytime I said anything.
anyone have cheerleader daughters? sm
my 15yo is trying out next week. she was cheerleader on little league squads, but hasn't been in jr. high and now trying out for varsity. they have to make up their own cheer. any ideas? i've been searching the net just for some ideas and everything is just the same ole, same ole. FYI, not trying to copy but just get some ideas to make the brain flow for me/her to try to put somethign together. she needs something different and unique to make her stand out since she is up against lots of cheerleaders that have been on the squad for years. something short, with a jump or two in it. HELP please!!!
my 19 and 21 year old daughters sm
wore a size 4 shoe since they were 12. It is hard for them to get grown up looking shoes. They are about 5 feet. They would love to have bigger feet. They take after my mother in law who was a size 4 her whole life.
puberty/daughters
There are many variations of menarche and the menstrual cycle that are considered "normal" from one female to another. For instance, my daughter, who is now 15, had her menarche at age 10; however, it was very light, brief, and definitely not from month-to-month. She developed early, is very tall (5ཆ"), and is of medium-to-slender build. She now has regular cycles, albeit on the "long" side, of approximately 36-40 days. She has played soccer and basketball.
They say that sometimes the daughter's OB/GYN history will follow that of the mother - but not always. I was on the track team in high school, was always very active with school, chorus, and band, but my body type was very thin and tiny. I weighed less than 95 pounds in my senior year. I am currently in my early 40s and weigh about 112 pounds (two pregnancies, with nine and ten-pound babies - no gestational diabetes) and am 5ƈ". I did not reach menarche until about the age of 15, but my cycles are short, about 26 days.
Just as with babies and potty training, for example, as long as there is no pain, sharp or otherwise, no passing large clots, fever, etc., I'm sure all will be well. It (puberty with fruition of regular menses) is "gearing up" in a sense. In fact, before my daughter's very first period, red blood cells were detected on a routine urine culture. The pediatrician knew right away that menarche was pending; sure enough, it happened within a couple of weeks.
btw, with your attitude, if you have daughters
I'd be willing to bet they would have an abortion behind your back rather than suffer your judgment by having a baby at a young age or out of wedlock. Would that feel good on your conscience? You could be missing out on the joy of grandbabies!
Thanks for this info. My 2 daughters and
I just bought a batch of 6 each. Thanks again.
but that is not you daughters fault sm
that you had such a horrible life. I feel for you. I too had a pretty rough childhood but no way would I even think to make one of my kids pay for that. Sounds like you need some serious counseling or you are going to be one miserable lonely old lady.
Two daughters go back next Wednesday
Two days after Labor Day. One starting 8th grade at a the Junior High and one starting preschool. I'm in NY.
As the mother of two young daughters
one who got pregnant with her loser boyfriend at 20 - I can only send hugs and more hugs. No amount of talking did any good - she knew better and was making some kind of statement to us and she got pregnant still thought she was a smarty pants - they then split up, she met someone else, immedately became engaged, planned a wedding and got PG again before wedding. It has only been 18 months since the wedding but she knows she rushed through everything, has regrets but has learned lessons. I would just push contraception, I would let her know how disappointed you are - you have a right to your feelings - support her in other ways if you can and try not to let it ruin your relationship. She is due for a huge fall but they somehow need to experience this. I am so sorry!!
Amen! My daughters and I do laugh
about this now. I went through this twice. The first daughter was not as bad as the second daughter. They were six years apart so I did get kind of a break. Believe, me this phase does pass.
Our two daughters "came out" a year or so ago...
and it wasn't really a shock. I had already suspected it when they were wearing rainbow stuff, even had a rainbow dental retainer, but my husband just didn't want to believe and stated that everyone likes rainbows and that didn't mean anything LOL. Our children were afraid of our reaction so that is why they delayed telling us. I wish they would have realized a long time ago that if they were purple, polka-dot or whatever they chose to be, we love them the same. One of them is still unsure of her sexuality so we just stay supportive while she finds her own identity etc. My husband's daughter who came out was afraid to tell her maternal grandparents, and when she did, she got the reaction she expected, total abandonment and was told to never discuss her life with them at all. That is very sad to me. We continue to support and love them and keep an open mind when we have met their "partners." I will admit at first I was sad because at some point you realize all the dreams you have for your child are gone as in getting married, having children etc.. but I soon realized that this can still happen, just not in the tradition way. Love is unconditional. That's my thought.
Good advice for your daughters.
Hi XXX: Read all your posts with Mom with girls. Basically I agree with most everything you say. I too took my daughter to Family Planning Clinic, where she was given BC pills. I told her the facts of life and warned her about consequences of getting pregnant or some diseases too. I left the decision up to her and the responsibility of taking the pills. She was 18 at that time and already graduated from high school, so legally an adult. She did become pregnant at 18 and went through pregnancy and gave birth, but not married. The father came along and helped with money to raise his child. They did have a stormy time of it, but now they are 31 and 30 with 3 more children. She was lucky because her husband is very responsible now, building contractor and very good father. he absolutely loves his children, so my daughter was very lucky. Of course we know that not all girls have a happy ending to their story.
All you can do as a mother is to support your children, give them guidance and proper moral standards that hopefully they will live by. I have really tried very hard to not be judgmental or to criticize when the problems came. I think that is probably the worse thing to do to your kids. After all we all make mistakes. Of course it is easier to give advice than the actual practicing of this advice. Whatever happens to your kids, try to stand by them and love them.
Questions for moms with daughters in puberty.. sm
My daughter will be 13 in December. Back in early August she had what I thought was the starting of her menses. She had some blood for about one week and then done. She has not had anything for the month of September. Is this normal? When I started I never remember stopping after the first one. She does play a lot of soccer and takes dance, so that might be part of it to. Any other mom's experiencing this?? She knows all about sex and pregnancy, so I know that is not an issue, especially since she goes nowhere without me or her dad. Thanks for any input.
Two of my daughters have them on their lists. Found them at K-Mart for 29.99 nm
x
I named my daughters Katie Ann and Kelsey Nicole. sm
Our son is Kyle. I also like the name Kellen for a boy or a girl. Good luck!
Thank you! From a Mom who had 2 daughters, serving 3 separate tours in Iraq - twice over Christmas.
.
lead in toys/Made in China...beware of Happy Meal toys
I watched a special on CNN yesterday about lead content in toys. I did not realize by your child simply touching a toy and putting his fingers in his mouth he could be ingesting lead. The special included a segment on a nice family that lived in a brand new home with a 2 year old and 6 month old. They both tested positive for lead. A 2 year old!!!! Worried, I went to my boy's toybox this morning and it is AMAZING how many painted toys are from China. Most notably this includes happy meal toys. I haven't gotten through one toy box and already have a trash bag full of toys. Please, please go through your children's toys. Lead ingestion can lead to brain damage. Be paranoid. Throw away all of the made in China stuff. Christmas is just weeks away--they will be getting new stuff (hopefully stuff that is paint-free!).
Your best bet is to buy made in the USA toys but even safer toys are unpainted blocks, Legos and books. A good, safe place to look for toys is www.mindware.com.
pass this on!
Well, hello, learn something new each day
my daughter came by tonight to eat some collards and black-eyed peas (money and luck here "supposedly" in the south for this next year and darn if she didn’t tell me she has floaters and have had them for years (she is 34). I was talking about asking the people on the MTs if they knew of any treatment. I thought was sorta an older type deal but apparently found something new today.
You sure do learn something new every day in this biz!
nm
We can also learn from...
We can also learn from other countries' histories and examples -- like Turkey. Today, mass demonstrations in Turkey protesting Islamist government influences and demanding secular law. And we can also learn MUCH from England. NY Times reports that Muslim Sharia laws are now in effect in 3 municipalities near London. On the British version of our "Sixty Minutes" show, a local Muslim cleric's response to the interviewer was: "Who SAYS Britain belongs to the English?!" No, the U.S. has the most liberal immigration policies in the world but certainly common sense and fair play should prevail. "Gratitude'' and ''tolerance'' for one's homeland do NOT equal acquiescence to people here illegally. Nor does ''gratitude'' and ''tolerance'' mean simply handing over one's country to those who want to relocate here but then attempt to turn this country into a replica of THEIR birthplace -- with very little return ''tolerance'' for the ways of the natives already here. Yes--natives--People and descendants of people who came here legally, lived, worked, and built this country, generation after generation, and adopted their NEW country's ways. Not insisting that people be ''tolerant''of their attempts to turn their new homeland be a replica of the country they left.
Learn to say NO
I know it's tough when it's your own dad, but hasn't he burnt you enough already? Lock your door and don't answer it. If he catches up to you and asks you to let him hang out or do his laundry, say NO. Enough is enough.
Good luck.
You have to learn to say
no, grow a backbone and. Others only take advantage of you because you are letting them. The children should be helping you out because you have age on you and yet you are being a doormat for them. What would they do if you died? Tell them no way and stick to it, otherwise you have no life to call your own.
Learn some Spanish
This whole thread in my opinion has been blown out of proportion. While living in California, I saw an attitude with SOME of the so called minority races who felt that they were "owed something." I was raised in the Midwest, and grew up in a family that did not tolerate prejudice against any race in any way, shape or form. However, as I grew older, I began to see things in the corporate world that were definitely not in the favor of the white American. I for one, have become fed up with calling a company and speaking to a customer service representative from India or elsewhere, who gives a name like "Dave, John or Mike" and you know definitely that is not their name. Plus the fact that they can barely understand English and as a consumer, I cannot understand what they are saying. We have a LOT of older Americans now with computers and the newer technology, and think about them trying to understand someone who can barely speak English.
I am also a relative newcomer to the Miami area and again, as I mentioned before, I was raised in the Midwest, where even the Hispanics and other minorities that I was raised around learned to speak English. If for example, you or I moved to France or Germany, we would be expected to learn to at least speak the language to a certain degree and that is the point that I am trying to make here -- when one moves to America, they need to learn to speak ENGLISH and it should not be the other way around.
She needs to learn about safe sex. Either you SM
discuss this with her or, better yet, see doctor and have her given some form of birth control. I think this is imperative. If she is having sex, I don't think she is going to stop. You somehow have to convince her to act responsibly. Condoms would be the best thing.
I know kids have to learn, but this seems
Hang in there. When my son was 5, he went in a little country store and helped himself to some Skittles. When his dad made him take them back in and explain he had not paid for them, the lady told him "that's okay, you can have them". We could have killed her. HA! We explained to him that this was serious and the lady was being nice, etc. etc. Hang in there and be sure your son realizes this isn't funny, this is serious. If you have to pay the $100, make him pay you back somehow. Good luck.
You'd think she'd learn from seeing all her sister is going through - NM
NM
you can only learn if you have a brain
nm
I think it means you are still willing to learn (sm)
Something I have noticed about being "defined" is that sometimes it gets in the way of learning something new or even correcting old cherished ideas that are really wrong.
I have come to have definite and convictions about things, but it took time and something I still do is draw contrasts with other ideas to see if I still am comfortable thinking the way I do. Some things I have become more sure of, some refined and others discarded.
If I was going to give advice, I would say to keep asking questions about things and when you get answers, analyze whether they really make sense. It sounds like that is already what you do. As you go, you will become more sure about some things you believe now and other things are yet to be discovered.
One more thing I would advise: Keep an open mind and don't discount anyone as possibly having the information you need to find what is right and true.
Yep. Use it to go to PBS and learn grammar and
x
I'm behind the school. Learn that what you say
Learn that you have a responsibility for what you say.
School ought to be backing up their teachers and their reputations and put brats like the student you describe right out.
I have no more tolerance for this unbridled generation coming up.
LOL!! You should try to learn to type with them ;-) nm
x
Want to learn how to use taser
I have a husband who travels and I am home alone a lot of the time. I want to buy and learn to use a taser. Does anyone have any information that might be useful for me?
let it out, maybe they can learn from your mistakes
x
I always wanted to learn
but never had anyone in my family that lived close enough to teach me. My grandma and aunt can do all that, but they live in MA and I'm in GA.
My mom never learned how to sew or cook or anything, but she can farm, fix a car engine, etc. My gram on her side never knew how to do any of those things either, unless you count stitching up wounds (she was a nurse).
But luckily I married into a family full of southern tradition and they are teaching me things like making my own jam, pies from scratch, and yes even sewing once we get moved closer to them!
child can't learn
I got in a hurry and goofed on the family relationships. Anyway, my daughter, her step-gran, and I take turns keeping her after school. My daughter's teenage son also helps with flash cards, alphabet video games, etc. He wants to be a teacher.
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