How to deal with compulsive liars: If you can't beat them, join them.

• Anyone know about compulsive or pathological liars? sm - AnonMT
  • i thought I was one - Emily Ayn
    • It is most always better to tell the truth - Twitters
      • well i always blame work! - Emily Ayn yn
        • If they are your friends - Twitters
  • That is why it is called compulsive/pathologic -sm - Twitters
  • How to deal with compulsive liars: If you can't beat them, join them. - NM
  • I certainly do my fair share of lying - suprmommy3
    • Don't think people are buying it! - Old part-timer
    • I have a question for you. - sm
      • she has kids, I asked about in her last post, - no response about them was given, was all about he
        • to be honest...all my posts have been 100% lies -nm - suprmommy3
          • You're a nut. Don't you have anthing - better to do? nm
          • I know - you're not a mom or an MT!! sm - AnonMT
            • If i'm not a mom, nor an MT, but i do work, then where do i work and what do i do? - suprmommy3
              • To be honest, that was 100% lies...or was it? nm - AnonMT
                • i am a coward, so i won't email you - suprmommy3
                  • Well then I guess I know someone just like you nm - AnonMT
                    • Perhaps you could help me tell if this person is just like you or not? - AnonMT
                      • Why do you think someone is trying to get you? nm - suprmommy3
                        • I don't think anyone is trying to get me - actually sm - AnonMT
                      • from your description, no, but who really knows? nm - suprmommy3
                • Monkeys nm - AnonMT
  • i had a family member - sm

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If you have been involved with a compulsive or pathological liar, do they do this?  When almost caught in a lie, they make up something huge, saying something terrible happened and then blame you for not being more sensitive, sort of trying to turn it around so that you end up apologizing to them? Is that how it works with them?

My neice has participated in 4H going on her 5th year since she was 8.  jShes' now 12 and she shows her horse, plus she does enters cooking projects, art, scrapbooking, and crafts.  There are so many different interests and programs for any kid.  Besides horses, there are rabbits and guinea pigs, plus all the assorted farm animals.  There's archery and competetive shooting.  Public speaking, woodworking, art projects, cooking, sewing, dog training, just about anything you can think of.  Your son doesn't not have to have a horse to participate.  Join a club that has a horse group.  A lot of times the leaders have horses they'll loan a kid for the year or know someone who will.  Don't let that stop you.  If you're in a position to do it, you can lease a horse.  That's what we did at first, we leased her horse for 6 months and then ended up buying him.  4H helps keep them out of trouble.  Teaches them responsibility and gives them self-esteem.  It's a family organization, so you and your husband can partiicipate if you like, they're always looking for adult volunteers.  Check with the county extension office where you live or in another county, if you like.  You should be able to find info online.  There's no residency requirement.  Tell them what you're looking for and they'll try to find a club that's a good fit for your son. 

1)  I love to smell gas, damp cellars, wet grass (the mowing kind!)

2) I love green olives but most of all I love to drink the juice also.

3)  Got angry with my father, moved, changed my phone number and did not give him the new address or number for months.

4)  I could never be Angelina Jolie because I would rather adopt animals rather than children.

5)  Oh, no one knows this, got angry in the 2^nd grade at another girl jumping me in the line before going to lunch and stuck my pencil into the top of her head in a hissy-fit. I still remember her name.

6)  Had my first sexual encounter at age 15 at my mother’s home and hid the sheets, of all places, under my next door neighbor’s house. Over the many years since he and I have occasionally called each other. I still dream though don’t touch.

7)  I have some different eating habits. I used to eat white rice, milk and sugar as a breakfast food (the rice bothers me now so don’t eat as much) and I also tear up white bread and put in regular milk- I know it is soggy and my family gags but have done this all my life.

8)  Happily married now for 9 years but OMG can never forget about that delicious sex I had with my ex-husband. I mean, Delicious with a capital D.

Truthfully, though, no one can quit until it's their time.  I just had to finally get really disgusted with myself.  I owe this to my child.  My best friend just died at age 54 two weeks ago from lung cancer.  My father died at age 58 of the same.  My sister is currently in the hospital with pulmonary emboli (even though she has never smoked).  And lastly, rumor has it the price is going up to $8 a pack in my state.  By just not smoking for the last five days, I already have an extra $50 in my wallet.  Wow.  I am the smartest woman and I know, and yet how can I continue to be so stupid?  That's where I'm at mentally.  I really want to succeed this time.  Now, where are those carrot sticks?

Work is slow right now (and has been for a while).  I am getting up earlier to get a few lines, going to sleep later hoping to get a few lines, and taking a nap in between to make up for lack of sleep.  My 8 hour job has turned into 18, and my weight is trying desperately to keep pace.  I eat when I am bored.  I do not want to leave and go shopping just in case work should happen to appear.  My house is clean.  The dogs well fed.  Everything is fine except for my scale.  I really wish I could get a scale that lied, that way it would fit in with my job.  EMPLOYER: You would only be expected to work an 8 hour day.  EMPLOYEE (4 weeks later): Yeah right.  Eight hour days give or take 10 hours.  ME GETTING ON MY SCALE: You weigh only XX amount of pounds.  SCALE’S RESPONSE: Darling, you are too beautiful, and you weigh 10 pounds less then yesterday. 

Oh ya, this white girl got 'da moves!  (of course now I need to take a couple of Advil before and after said moves...)

There's no help for that burnt ring in the carpet unless you've got another hunk of the same carpet in left the garage, cut out the burnt part and carefully replace it...Otherwise, a throw rug is always an option.    Cat       

Kids are kids. My son, at age 17, got his 15 yo girlfriend pregnant. Her parents screamed at us at first threatening to have our son arrested, and we screamed at him at first, but then sat down and had a long conversation with him. He didn't want to get married right then and neither did she.  They decided to get married when they both graduated from high school, but he couldn't give up his "bum friends" so she broke it off with him after our grandson was 2 yo. Didn't blame her one bit. We are still friendly after all these years. The "baby" is now 18 and they still talk. We see our grandson every 2 weeks since they broke up and we still miss her as a future daughter-in-law, but they are both married to someone else now..

I would say not to get too involved and let them work it out themselves.  She is probably going through a lot with the pregnancy and doesn't really mean what she says. She's probably pretty mad at herself for letting herself get pregnant and trying to put the blame on everyone else to make herself feel better. At her age, she probably feels her independent life is over and it's all your son's fault, but it's not all his fault.

My "ex-to-be" daugther-in-law became a nurse making mucho dollars without my son, married a nice guy, had another baby, and we all still get along.  All my son did was pay support VOLUNTARILY for the 18 years and keep in touch with his son, including when there was a crisis; i.e., staying out late, etc., and took the fatherly approach, trying to help raise our grandson equally.

Also, her parents and us are still friends although we don't see them as much since the grandson is now almost "a man", and they have other problems I won't go into, but we still wish our son and his  ex would have gotten married...that's how much respect we have for her.

Am I making any kind of sense? Email me if you would like to chat further.