How sad not to trust anyone, even family nm!
Posted By: ??? on 2008-01-09
In Reply to: Trust - GF
NM
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Family is great but I am never back in my hometown where family is... So I always have extended fami
You can always pick your friends your stuck with your family. An Xmas for me is where my husband and kids come home to. It is what you make it!
Summer. Friends or family? Family. Tired or Awake?
x
I say trust your gut-
drownings can happen so easily, even with good supervision. If the other boy's father is going to be drinking who knows what could happen. Plus I have learned in my life that when my gut tells me something I really need to listen. Better that your son be unhappy with you for short while but alive and well.
I do not believe a trust
will jeopardize her other benefits. You should have an attorney who is well versed in this type of thing to go over all the ins and outs of the situation.
Trust
In this day and age.....I don't trust anyone....whether it is child, mother, sister, cousin.......You never know what frame of mind a person is in.......Sorry.....I should have never posted....just wanted to get some insight....not to get knocked down because of a decision I made....
When it comes down to it, you have to trust
your daughter, no matter how old the boyfriend may be.
I do trust her - sm
The problem is her dad. It took her, a counselor, and me to convince him to even get him to agree to let her see him in the mall. I agree with the other posters - I'd like to get him over here to dinner or something, maybe a BBQ now that it's getting warmer. Just have to figure out how to let Dad know they're communicating again.
Trust me ... at the end of the day s/m
no one will be looking at the state of your house. But definitely getting everyone in the household involved and sharing responsibility will give them all a satisfied feeling of being able to contribute. If you are doing all the cooking, lots of things can be done days in advance, a little at a time. It will get done -- try not to sweat it too much. Believe me, your guests will be so grateful that is wasn't them having to do it, they will look at you as the hero!
I don't trust them
They just don't seem to be accurate, and I don't like that they want you to give them information such as your address.
Trust yourself.
You already know the truth. Trust your own instincts. Face whatever you know to be the truth and deal with that.
When we begin asking others, we already have the knowledge but want others to confirm it for us.
You will make the right decision for yourself.
NEVER! Nor would I trust a US doc with a
regaining trust
I understand your disappoinment...I'm sorry you had to catch him in a lie...that's the worst.
Stick to your initial plan and don't give in....He's gotta regain/earn your trust back at this point before you let him have the car. The end of the semester may seem like an eternity, but it's only about 8 or 9 weeks and then he'll be home for Christmas break. He'll live and perhaps thank you some day.
It appears the girlfriend's parents and you are on the same page. That's a big plus.
Did you ever get that cell phone back?  Cat
I do know a special needs trust will not
xx
trust your heart
Trust yourself and trust in God, as well as your doctors. They would not want anything bad to happen to your baby. By the way, if you ever have a chance to go see the Body World 3 exhibit you would love the embryo/fetus exhibit. It is absolutely amazing what a 4wk embryo looks like and how he/she develops by 16 weeks into an absolutely perfectly formed baby. I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us updated on your progress.
Not sure if I trust her judgement.....she
xx
Trust your instincts. nm
xx
Big difference between family values and family jewels, eh? lol
LOL. I love this show. I think Gene and Shannon and her sister are a riot! What characters. It really is amazing to me the kids seem so laid back and so normal. They seem like great kids.
Does your family still do the early Sunday dinner w/family?
s
Anyone ever been trustee of a Special Needs Trust?
I've been the trustee of my older sister now since 2001 when our mother died. She is mentally retarded because she fried her brain on LSD and mescalin when she was a teenager, also is bipolar and on SSDI.
She just called me to say she is on the edge of losing all of her benefits, including her state-funded housing, because her love toy went and blabbed to the housing authority that she was getting this "extra" money and it's a huge amount. Well, it's not a huge amount by any means, not even $40,000 to last her lifetime. I'm sure she and her benefits are protected via the whole category of "Special Needs Trust" but to say my blood pressure is up is an understatement of the decade.
I just want to drive 8 hours to smack the sh*t out of her and her G-spot Johnny (did I mention she's also hypersexual?!) boy toy. Now, I'm not a violent person, but the attorney told me that the government could also come after me if they feel there has been any sort of fraud here. I'm not the one that did drugs, yet for some reason this responsibility was tossed in my lap. Hmmm...could be that whole atheist thing and this is mom's retribution.
So, anyone know anything about Special Needs Trusts I should be particularly concerned about?
You say spanking does not build trust?
It sure makes a kid do good, though. I would not raise my kids to be terrors and surely not with g'kids. I just do not have it period.
Good advice. Wish we could trust everyone. . . NM
xx
addressing trust issues...
I am so sorry you don't trust pitbulls. If you owned one you would feel differently.
I agree, trust your pets
Dogs or cats for that matter. Whether they sense trouble or they sense the personality, it doesn't really matter. They are sending you a message and you should listen. Animals are known for being loyal to their owners at all cost. It's their nature. Have you ever been sick and had your dog lay next to your bed the entire day...same sort of thing. They are being loyal and protecting you. You don't have to tell them; they just know something isn't right.
I have had this experience with several pets, including my cat. Yes, I said my cat. lol She is like a dog in a lot of ways. They just know when something is off and they will tell you the best way they can. I never tell them a person is okay or to stop barking. If things are okay or the person is okay they will stop on their own without me saying a word. Somehow they just know.
I trust my daughter but not her friends
I think my daughter knows right from wrong and would not do anything inappropriate, but I worry about the boys. They seem to be able to do a lot more than what I allow my daughter to do... some of them are older and also they have very bad manners IMO. I wish she would find someone else to hang out with. It seems like that harder I try to change her behavior, the harder she pulls in the other direction. Are all teenaged girls like that? I guess I was too at that age, but it still worries me.
I would trust my husband and throw it away...
but that is because I trust my husband and also because I know he doesn't have time for an affair ;). If you know it isn't true, don't pay it any attention.
Would you trust "out-of-the-USA" surgery?
Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.
Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.
=============================
NEW DELHI, India (CNN) -- "I was a walking time bomb. I knew I had to get on that plane if I wanted to be around to see my grandkids."
Sandra Giustina is a 61-year-old uninsured American. For three years she saved her money in hopes of affording heart surgery to correct her atrial fibrillation. "They [U.S. hospitals] told me it would be about $175,000, and there was just no way could I come up with that," Giustina said.
So, with a little digging online, she found several high quality hospitals vying for her business, at a fraction of the U.S. cost. Within a month, she was on a plane from her home in Las Vegas, Nevada, to New Delhi, India. Surgeons at Max Hospital fixed her heart for "under $10,000 total, including travel."
Giustina is just one of millions around the world journeying outside their native land for medical treatment, a phenomenon known as "medical tourism." Experts say the trend in global health care has just begun. Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.
Companies such as Los Angeles-based Planet Hospital are creating a niche in the service industry as medical travel planners. One guidebook says that more than 200 have sprung up in the last few years. "We find the best possible surgeons and deliver their service to patients safely, affordably and immediately," said Rudy Rupak, president of Planet Hospital. "No one should have to choose between an operation to save their life or going bankrupt."
Planet Hospital, which works with international clients as well as Americans, books patients' travel and arranges phone interviews with potential surgeons. Patients are greeted by a company representative at the airport in the country where they've chosen to be treated; a 24-hour personal "patient concierge" is also provided, a level of service that's standard among many of the top medical travel planning companies. Watch Dr. Sanjay Gupta meet some medical tourists »
"Our patient concierge was amazing," said Giustina. "He came to the hospital every day, gave us his personal [telephone] number and after my operation, he arranged private tours of India." Just two days post-op, Giustina and her husband, Dino, toured local markets and landmarks including the Presidential Palace and the Taj Mahal.
"I was able to fix my heart and tour India, which is something I thought I'd never do."
Walk through a patient wing at Max Hospital in New Delhi on any given day and you're likely to see people from around the world. In one visit, CNN met patients from the United Kingdom, Nigeria, Jordan, Afghanistan and the United States. They're alike in choosing surgery abroad, but their reasons differ.
Many South Asians and Africans said they travel abroad because they do not have access to care in their homeland.
Some Canadians and Europeans said they chose to travel aboard, despite having national health plans, because they are tired of waiting -- sometimes years -- for treatment.
Patients from the Middle East said they come to India because the technology as well as the staff is more advanced.
For most Americans CNN spoke to, it came down to finding the best value. "If I could have afforded my procedure in the United States, I would have taken it, but that was not my option," Giustina said. "I had to get online and look for a Plan B." Read about hot destinations for medical tourism
The private hospitals in India market themselves as having upscale accommodations, Western-trained surgeons and state-of-the-art medical equipment.
CNN spent time at Max Healthcare in New Delhi and saw operating rooms similar to those in many U.S. hospitals. If fact, Max's neurosurgery room had an inter-operative MRI scanner, which is technology hardly seen at hospitals in the United States.
The lobby had marble floors, a book café, coffee station and a Subway sandwich shop. The patient suites were equipped with flat screen TVs, DVD players and Wi-Fi. This hospital also catered to families traveling together. The suites had adjoining rooms with a kitchenette, coffee maker and a sofa bed.
Max neurosurgeon Dr. Ajaya Jha said the hospital can provide high-quality care at low prices because the staff work hard to cut waste. Watch Dr. Gupta visit an Indian spice market »
"I've seen hospitals in the U.S. where they open up something costing $10,000 and say, 'Oh it's not working. OK, give me another one.' We would never do that here. Even for 100 rupees (about $2) -- we would say, "Do we need to open this suture? Do we need to open this gauze?' We are very conscious of cost."
Hospital officials negotiate hard to keep costs low for high-tech medical machinery and other supplies, Jha said. "In the U.S. people are making careers out of carrying laptops and documenting things that are not really useful in the long term for the patient."
The salary of a U.S. surgeon is five times that of a surgeon in India. "We [surgeons in India] want to make a profit, but we don't want to profiteer. We don't want squeeze people and I think American industries should also think that way," Jha said.
Critics of medical tourism warn patients to be diligent when researching treatment aboard. "I've found that industry voices tend to crowd out those of us who are more cautious about the legal risks," said Nathan Cortez, assistant law professor at Southern Methodist University, who is conducting a case study investigating what legal recourse patients have outside America.
Patients don't think about their legal vulnerabilities, Cortez said. "Some countries limit patient access to medical records so they can't really learn what happened during the surgery. And a lot of practitioners in other countries just refuse to give you your medical records. So people have to weigh the risk versus benefits."
While most tourism patients from America are uninsured, major U.S. insurance companies are considering providing "medical tourism" coverage to their customers. Several have already launched pilot programs.
"I think what's really important about medical tourism is that you make the choice for what's right for you and what's important to them," said a spokesman for U.S. health insurer WellPoint Inc.
Experts say that every patient considering traveling abroad for surgery should inquire about postoperative care, legal rights and the safety standards and certifications of the hospital. Foreign health care providers should be willing to discuss the procedure and answer question ahead of time.
"What really helped me feel good about the process was that my doctor in the U.S. spoke to the cardiologist in India prior to my trip," said Giustina. "They were so open about everything; I knew I'd be in good hands."
Just weeks from returning from abroad, Giustina says she has only one regret, "I shouldn't have waited so long! I feel like a new person again, no more pain."
I think even a bigger one. I still trust Obama..
It is said that M wears the pants at home and I bet that she reminds him every day that she gave up her job for him!
I think even a bigger one. I still trust Obama..
It is said that M wears the pants at home and I bet that she reminds him every day that she gave up her job for him and the children.
once the trust is gone, so is the love, and the relationship..sm
be completely honest with him..now, before he gets out of rehab. If he is doing it only for you or to get you back, it is never going to work and it is just a matter of time before HE feels comfortable enough to start drinking again. You sound pretty sure that you want it to be over, so see a lawyer and start divorce proceedings now. don't wait for him to get out and start things all over again. You have to be up front about YOUR feelings, as well. Do not lead him on thinking there is hope. If telling him how you feel puts him back into drinking again, that is his problem and not yours. It would only serve to prove that he was not serious about stopping drinking anyway, and helping himself, but only a means to get back into your life. Do not take on the guilt. He is responsible for his ownself, and you are responsible for you. But do not let his expectations of coming back go on any longer. He has a right to know how you feel now, before it is too late. You already know in your heart that things will go back to the way they were before, if you let him come back. Show him how serious you are, be honest, and start the actions you need to extricate yourself from the situation. He will not change.. trust me on that one. I have been there too.
People who don't have trust issues will take advantage of it.
nm
Trust me..it was not easy.. and it honestly took 4 years..
I went back and forth, I kept trying to leave but was scared, had no where to go, no way to earn a living etc..I would just keep coming back. Then, I did decide to go to school. That pretty much ended it. I got through school leaving through threats and how I "ruined" our lives by going backwards i.e returning to school. He knew that if I had no education, then I was stuck with him for surviving, and I think he knew deep down, I was preparing myself to leave. The second I graduated and got a job, I moved "into town"..well, after stalking me and doing the "if I can't have you, then no one can" crap and being terrified he would kill me..I upped and moved away and filed for divorced. There was no turning back. I moved in with family and he had no idea where that was. Evidently, it calmed down and from that day forward, I did not take his crap. To this day, the man has never found anyone because who wants to live with that alcoholic loser and when he tried to control me after the divorce, I'd tell him to his face to shove off. That was sweet revenge. I had to believe in myself and believe I was worth it.. and I did.. Life is good..I remember him not allowing me to have a credit card, new car or buy anything..not even washclothes..well guess what..this country girl married a millionaire who gives me the world!!!!LOL
Well trust me, you aren't missing a thing! :) nm
,
Hang in there girlfriend. If you feel the trust
is there, then believe in it. Truely hope it works out for you. I have seen amazing turn-arounds in marriages. It can work.
Posts speak volumes in lack of trust
people have with their daughters. I have grown daughter so I guess now would be a different ballgame in the fact so many girls feel having sex and making babies at any young age, really young, is par for the course. Just talked with my 30 something daughter a few minutes ago and ran past her and she also thought creepy to keep list of periods. I guess you really have to do that these days though.
SIL family, us and another family snacked,played
x
Trust my daughter to the fullest.. your post speaks volumes of ignorance is bliss. sm
It is not like I make a huge banner on the wall for goodness sakes! I put a small V on the corner of the date on the calander. I trust my daughter completely and do this for health concerns only. I have a miserable health history and was always thankful my mother was on top of things. We always had great communication about everything and I have done that with my own daughters. We talk about everything into the wee hours of the morning. I am not knocking your way doing things..so please dont knock mine. I feel it is better to be on top of things than to be ignorant of my daughters health..and yes menstrual cycles are part of her health history. What would I say at the docs office when asked about her cycles..Umm I dont know. Better go ask the 12 y/o because her mom doesnt know! I dont think so.
family
No she did not have Daniel throughout his whole life but there were times when he shouldn't have been with her but her mother would not take him without money. She was living in a motel with a bfriend and Daniel. She was broke and it was not pretty she had some really rough times and she was not always the "playboy" girl she worked in some really raunchy clubs.
I dont know about a brother but it has been a long long time age I do remember meeting a "sister" once and lots of different "boyfriends". There was always someone with their hand out.
I give her mother the benefit of the doubt but look at how things are going and what her mother is doing. There have been lots of back and forths in Vergie and Nicki's relationship and none of it has EVER appeared loving. Nicki was not innocent but I think she grew up and moved on with her life and her mother still wants to talk about her little Vicki.
No one is perfect not me, not you neither was Nicki, but her past was her past and she needs to be laid to rest, she went to extremes to establish her wishes let her be. Nicki is gone but the baby is here and needs to be sheltered from all this hoopla!!!
when it is a family, the family tends to think
since an addition is being made to a family during pregnancy, a lot of families see themselves as pregnant - as one - as a whole unit...nothing wrong with it - actually makes the entire family participate in it, which is a GREAT thing............not like the men of the 1950s who went to work and the moms did absolutely everything else....I like men/families who WANT to take part and be involved.
Old fashioned or not - I prefer the way the men participate today in all of it..........makes for better communication and all know what's going on in the family....
FYI to all, keep your old fashioned minds open because a closed mind will make you old WAY before your time.
There are 4 in our family and we each sm
get to pick one definite thing to do. My hubby says that is his pick. LOL
All the best for you and your family and keep..sm
 Keep us posted here - I will remember your *handle* countrymt and will be on the lookout for your posts!!!
I have family down there
My husband is originally from Boston, and we go down about once a month or so for a few days to visit his parents, brother, etc. It's kind of like a second home for me!
Family
My heart goes out to you, as I too understand that kind of pain from family. Just know that it is not you that is causing this rift. It is your brother, not his wife even though it is obvious that she is doing the manipulating. Your brother should not be able to be manipulated so easily by his wife's insecurities and jealousy of your relationship. Unfortunately in life, and in families perceptions get screwed up with time, and distance, and if one does not hold true to their fondness of one another, or respect or what I call the family gene that holds a family together through thick or thin, then there is nothing you can do about this situation. He obviously cannot hold true to his feelings for you because of his wife's insecurities. Just let things be and don't become bitter or begin to cut yourself off. Sometimes things change down the road for the better.
re: family
Yes it is sad that the family unit is being seen less and less. Yes self control is a responsibility....but that comes from the Lord...that is a fruit of the Spirit...so what I'm saying is it is our sin nature to stray and we will be held accountable for that sin...the only way to be forgiven for it is to ask Jesus for forgiveness and accept Him as our Saviour...don't know if I'm wording this correctly....
I pray that you get what I'm trying to say that we all need Jesus...I pray that I worded correctly...
Yes, my family sm
DH and my mom didn't get along well (although she was quite controlling and wanting to run our lives after we got married, and I do understand where he was coming from). Eleven years ago we moved 300 miles away. Now I see my mom and other relatives only very occasionally. Luckily she can come see us once in a while. I have to beg DH to go there, and my vision is so bad I can't drive it myself.
I haven't been "home" in 2-1/2 years this time. And yeah, I regret it.
I miss my mom, my family and my friends. But DH is never gonna change, and I have 3 kids, and I'm stuck. :(
My family went to while once and after just
10 seconds inside my DD backed out. My DH valiantly stayed with her while I went through with DS. I asked before hand to make sure they could not touch me...that is my biggest fear also. They told me there was defintely a "No Touch Rule". My DH and DD told the guy at the front my name so I heard all through house my name being repeated in a very spooky voice. One "monster" did come right up to me and I just kept saying "no touch rule, no touch rule, no touch rule". He stuck to the rules and I did feel better after that. Needless to say DS loved every minute of it.
To you and your family
My heart goes out to you and all the people in CA dealing with this horrendous threat. In the national news this a.m. (Wednesday) they stated conditions are improving in order for the firefighters to try to get in and attack these monstrous fires. Best of luck to you all. Keep us posted, if at all possible.
I have family there and know quite a bit about it. sm
Anything specific, such as area? Jobs?
family
Hey, Hayseed - You can adopt our family. We have enough of this kind of stuff going on, we can keep you feeling "loved" for the rest of your life! Seriously, have great nieces and nephew who desparately need to be loved. Your're welcome any time.
Here's what we do in our family....
I work 2 jobs, my husband and son scrap for extra money. They go out the night before garbage day, or the morning of. We have a flat trailer that has different buckets on it and they sort everything they find. They have break down the big stuff into its components and smaller pieces. You would be amazed at what the scrap yards will take and how much they pay.
For my family
It has had an effect on some with job loss and problems finding a new job. Luckily for me and my hubs we have been able to hold ours. Gas prices are outrageous as well as groceries, I have noticed the same as you. We live in an area where you have to drive quite a distance for any work - hence my decision to work at home in transcription and take a paycut. Had I known nearly 10 years ago that it would cost so much in gas we wouldn't be living where we do...but that's hindsight and nothing I can do about that now. We have talked about selling our house and moving but that seems like a lost cause. Working at home has definitely payed
off as every time gas prices go up, in a roundabout way I feel like I have gotten a raise.
I am buying generic more often and we have cut back on junk food. No chips, ice cream, soda, anything. We just can't afford it. If I'm going to spend the money I want to spend it knowing we are getting nutrition packed in.
we also grew a garden this summer to help cut back on produce costs.
Very much like my family - 2 each + 1 together sm
My biological mom moved out of state when I was in 3rd grade, and my stepmom's first husband had died in a car accident. Plus my sister and stepbrother are less than 2 months' apart in age, which mostly didn't get noticed because she moved out of state with my mom while I stayed with my dad. The only thing that caused confusion was that my stepsister and I have almost identical names (similar first name, same middle name, last name with same first initial), and the oldest 4 of us all have names starting with M. When my brother was born, they gave him name starting with J 
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