How many times could you forgive...
Posted By: sm on 2008-02-22
In Reply to:
Your spouse for having an affair? I just found out that a friend of mine's husband has left her twice for another woman and both times she has forgiven him (this happened before we met). I just don't know if I could do that twice, once MAYBE, but certainly not twice...how bout you?
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
I think you can forgive
but that doesn't mean you have to live with it. I have forgiven my EX-husband. lol
Should I forgive? and if so how??? (sm)
My husband hit me about 4 years ago...he slammed my head into a pole on our carport and pulled my hair, bruised my arms, cursed in my face. It was a shock to me because he had never acted that way before, although he had been somewhat aggressive in the past. It wasn't even a big argument, and I was stunned. I left for a week and made him go to anger management counselling. He went to two sessions, I came back home and he quit going. He has never hit me again. It has been four years. But he was never terribly sorry.... I have never felt the same way about him since. I have never wanted to be intimate with him since. I don't even like him touching me. I have prayed, been to marriage counsellors, tried to change my feelings toward him and I just can't.
It seems ridiculous to me to think of divorcing a man for something he did four years ago but I can't seem to feel anything for him anymore. What do I do?
I think you should forgive them both...
maybe not forget, but try not to hold a grudge. Keep in mind that your mother raised you and loves you the way you love your own children and it probably hurts her terribly that she hears nothing from you. It's Christmas time. If ever there was a time to try our best to be Christ-like, I suppose this is it.
I would definitely forgive them sm
and move forward as you normally would but would be cautious in the future. Should they gossip about you in the future I would definitely curtail your time around them - they could be toxic
Oh, please! End times! People have been saying that since the beginning times!
It's just sensationalism. It seems that journalism has gone to a warm place in a handbasket. I briefly majored in journalism back in 1980, and what passes for journalism now would have flunked any of us right our of an entry-level course! It's all sensational reporting, because networks think that brings in the viewers, and thus drives up the advertising price that they can charge during broadcasts.
Another of my pet peeves in "journalism" is the phrase "Unconfirmed sources say . . . " Yeah. Right. Unconfirmed sources is just another way of saying, "Rumor has it . . . "
Next time there is breaking news, listen for it. It's said over and over again, because the networks and stations want to get the news out first. I don't know what happened to fact-checking and pursuit of the truth in journalism, but it's all about getting info out fast, and keeping the public tuned in with the most sensational reports that they can put out there.
Back in the days of the Roman Empire, people were treating each other pretty badly and in unbelievable ways, too. Crucifixion comes to mind. So, I don't really think modern news reports are pointing to end times any more than at any other time in recorded history.
Please forgive the typos . . .
Trying to help feed Baby Alive while typing. LOL Apparently Santa did a good thing this year.
I say forgive, of course, but forget, NO WAY......sm
To be a true friend and truly care for someone, you first have to respect them and honor their dignity....how can care for anyone, friend, lover, or whatever, if you cannot be TRUTHFUL? How can you say you respect someone whiile blatantly lying to them? As a Christian and hopefully good person, I belive we always have to forgive, but to forget as if nothing had happened, that is impossible, I would think. She betrayed you by lying, not by seeing your ex, that is HER problem if she wants a second-hand loser, but friendship is a sacred bond, I am sure you can forge some newer, better friendships, can you ever feel any confidence in this woman again? Just my firm opinion, I had this done to me many years ago when very young, and although we tried, the friendship was never the same, for obvious reasons. God bless in your decision!
I can forgive, but how to forget?
a few weeks back my youngest son was injured. My mother came by to bring him some ice cream. For some reason something i said or did made my mother angry. I did not know this at the time. My husband and I went to lunch with said child, my mother and grandmother the next day. I noticed they were acting rather stiff and one time hubby, child and I went to the bathroom. When I walked back to the table M and G promptly stopped talking. Confused, the next day I called and asked the grandmother if I had done something wrong. Out of the blue she stated that she didn't think i should not let one child do something without the other (speaking about a birthday party they were BOTH invited to) I laughed and told her they had both been invited, that the child invited all of his friends and their brothers and I would never dream of self inviting my child to a party!!! Anyway I called my mother and told her the same thing. They both still sounded rather stiff. Well along came Thanksgiving. My MIL came over to our house so we didn't go to my grandma's house. My sister in law then told me all the things that were said about me...that I treat my oldest like crap, my youngest is a spoiled brat, etc. and that my grandma was actually CRYING because she believes my oldest is treated so badly. I honestly have NO CLUE where they got all of this!! I was flabbergasted!!! I just wrote them both off and just never really wanted to talk to them. No confrontation, nothing. I didn't even return their calls.
So today my grandma stops by unannounced and begs me to forgive her and that she wants to see my boys some time during christmas. SHe won't talk about the incident, what sparked it or even what the heck my mom thinks is so bad about how i have treated my oldest. I'm at a loss. On one hand I really want to get together with her. She is just going on something that someone else told her about me. On the other hand I feel like my every move will be judged if I am around her with my kids. I told her I forgive her and I honestly do, but i'm not sure how to get past this. I'm having a Christmas lunch Saturday with my brother. Should I invite her or just say to heck with it and not see her?
no more forgive and forget posts
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081219/ap_on_re_us/palin_johnston_arrest
Please forgive the double post. Wise NM
x
Be the bigger person and forgive! Course my opinion
forgive me-I didn't realize you were the grandparent!
 but I also think you, as a grandparent, can supply all the info to CS....my situation was entirely different and I'm sorry I didn't realize you were the grandparent before I posted...
And God Bless you for taking responsibility for your grandkids, my parents would have done zippo!!  
What makes some people forgive so easily and others not so easy? sm
The reason I ask is that I am in a very unique situation. I have a family member (an in law) who basically hates me. She and I have sort of been at it on and off for 8 years. She's a very mean person, very judgmental, hates everybody. I mean, seriously. It's bad. She rubbed off on me for too long. We were friends! I used to point and make fun at others ONLY when around her. When I finally caught on that she was not a very good influence and that I was so easily pursuaded by her meanness towards other people (backstabbing, etc), I began to keep my distance. And she caught on. Now she hates me. For no reason, really, other than I don't call her anymore, don't hang out with her anymore. And here lately she has been doing evil things to me like returning cards I've sent to her family with a giant "return to sender" on the envelope, getting her sister against me (I mean, come on, how old are we??), etc. She will be at my mother in law's for the holidays with her kids and I am cringing inside. In fact, just today, I received a nasty email from her when I got home saying some pretty mean things, calling me crazy, insane, etc. which I know I'm not, but it hurts anyways to hear stuff like that. She has a very hard time forgiving people, I've seen it over and over in her life, and now it has come to the fact that I need her to forgive me in order for ME to have peace in my life. It's just the kind of person that I am. I am totally willing to look past all the mean things she's done and said the past year and try to move forward positively!
So, fast forward. I've written her an email basically BEGGING for her forgiveness and saying I'm sorry for whatever I've done to hurt you (I know I've hurt her by not wanting to be around her,etc), and told her it wasn't good for us to be on the outs like this. I am pretty sensitive (if you can't tell already), and I really, really, really wish she could get past all of this and just forgive. We all need a little forgiveness, don't we?? What do you think? Why is it that some are so easily forgiven and others will go to their grave filled with HATE? I don't understand it one bit.
I'm not saying I'm any better than she is. I know I'm not. I just don't have an evil vein in my body to not forgive people and I HATE when others talk about others behind their backs. It's mean. I grew up around that stuff and once I reached adulthood and realized that I didn't need to talk about others to make myself feel better, I hated being around it. Give me some advice. Should I send the letter?
Please help me. Would you send it? She obviously needs love. What would you do? Would you just tell her to forget it and move on or would you be like her and hate back? 
Sorry meant sequins - this is a forum not work - please forgive me for not proofing
**
YIKES! I shoulda proofread before posting. Forgive all the typos and omissions!
Right away all 3 times...
luckily everything went well all 3 times. My best friend wasn't so lucky and miscarried soon after telling people.
We have been there many times..
and we loved Fort Wilderness camping resort the best. It is a bit pricey but you can barbecue outside or cook (full kitchen) inside the cabin so you do save money there. There is a lot to do right there in the camping resort, fishing, boat and bike rentals, pools, restaurants, an arcade for the kids, snack bar, etc., so just a wonderful family experience. There are also lower *value* priced resorts right in Disney also. But I would definitely suggest staying in a Disney resort; everything is right there; transportation to the parks, etc.
And you can't go to Disney and not go to the Magic Kingdom! Universal and MGM are nice but don't compare, IMO. And Epcot probably is more for older kids/adults.
The kids will love the water parks, Typhoon Lagoon and Blizzard Beach.
Anyway, here is a good website if you don't already have it.
http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/wdw/index
Most of all, HAVE FUN!!!
behind the times
Well, if you're behind the times so am I. My daughter has been taught since she was a baby that if someone takes the time and effort to give you a gift, the least you can do is take the time and effort to send a written thank you. Especially if something is mailed and you aren't able to thank them in person. I have a cousin who is the perfect example. When my husband died 2 years ago, I never got so much as a sympathy card. OK, fine, some people just don't know what to say in that situation--uncomfortable with death or whatever. This year we both have daughters graduate from high school. I was sent an announcement and party invitation which was out of town so couldn't go. But I sent a card and money the same day I sent MY daughter's announcement and invite. Did I ever get a thank you, written or verbal? Nope. Did they send my daughter a card? Nope. My mom went to their grad party and asked if they'd received my card (hoping to shame them) and they just said, "oh yeah, it was just so nice of her." Absolutely no qualms about taking without any gratitude and never reciprocating. I'd sent money because I didn't want to punish the daughter for her parents lack of social skills, but it appears that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I can't wait to get a wedding or birth announcement from this girl. Whether she knows it or not, she's received her last gift from me.
end times sm
I agree 200% with you and I am ready to go. All have the choice to believe or not. Yes is been talked about since the beginning of time, but our Bible tells us exactly what the signs are. Besides, even IF it were not true, don't you agree the Christian life is a better way to live than anything else? I believe its true and I don't believe we have much longer here. I am waiting and watching!
How many times are you going
to mention that his father never contributed any money, not a penny? Since you keep repeating it, it must be very significant in your mind. His father never contributed a penny to raising him. Now there is a rift between you and your son because of money. Anybody else out there think these two points are more connected than they may appear to be on the surface?
how many times have you
x
How many times does this have
First, you have to find out if you qualify. Then, look online on the IRS website to find the schedule according to your SS#.
Of course, if you didn't use direct deposit for your taxes to begin with, they will send you out a check and those won't be sent out until later.
It is not a crock - we got ours on time, according to the schedule!
DD has had this 3 times sm
and each time a different diagnosis. First thought to be a swollen lymph node (from cat scratch) and put on antibiotics. Second times many months later was thought to be a cyst and put on antibiotics. A year later again, was told it was MRSA and put on antibiotics. Each time it went away and since the last time in Feb. hasn't not returned. Still don't know for sure exactly what it was but antibiotics did the trick every time.
LOL!!! One of the few times I actually
LOL'd when I typed those letters . . . heavily!
Times gone by......... sm
I remember when I was a child the "dime store" in our town. It had everything from pencils to yard goods to toys to old medicinal remedies. They had a wonderful candy counter where you bought your candy by weight. You made your selection from the glass-fronted counter that was juuuuust above eye level for a small child. The clerk would scoop out the desired amount of candy with an old brass candy scoop and weigh it on an old balance scale. Then she would put the candy in a little white paper sack. There were all kinds, jelly beans, butterscotch that melted in your mouth, peppermint that really cleared the sinuses, and wonderful little maple goodies to name but a few. It tasted so much better than candy tastes these days. And yes, they had Evening in Paris and Old Spice and hankies for both mom and dad. I even held my very first job there in high school where I helped take inventory every year right after Christmas. We had to count each and every item (well, probably not the jelly beans) by hand. I remember counting boxes and boxes of pens and pencils and rulers. I miss that store as it closed down many years ago when the big discount houses started opening up in the nearby "big" town.
At times she can be
hot and other times a mess. I remember her being on Ellen recently and the Pussycat Dolls (I think it was them) were also on there. This was also when Ellen had the dunk tank and if I am not mistaken the person that got in the dunk tank that day was in a great bikini. At the end of the segment wtih Pam she had to take off her coat and show she was in a bikini as well. She admits that she loves the attention. This woman is famous for being...well famous.
I have read that she is really a good mother. Everyone take that one with a grain of salt, go ahead, wrap it around a margaritia if you like!
I don't know how many times I have said to DH
when I see the way someone is dressed or how ridiculous their hair looks "That poor girl just doesn't have any friends." I remember in high school there was a very pretty girl that had several friends, but her make-up line was unreal. I could not believe her friends never said a word to her about it.
All my friends and I had little sayings like "LOT" for lipstick on teeth or "The sky is blue" if you needed to wipe your nose. What is so wrong with graciously and politely telling someone you care about the truth?
Yes! Several times and it needs it sm
really bad now. Hubby out of town on business and will be home tomorrow. First thing he said when I talked tohim tonight was he dreaded mowing the lawn when he gets home! It has been raining cats and dogs making it grow even more!
I had 2 different times.
What I mean, is I had my 2 oldest when I was 24 & 26 (they are 23 months apart); I had my younger 2 when I was 33 & 35 (they are 20 months apart). There are 10 years between my oldest and my youngest. I guess I had the empty nest syndrome after sending the younger of my oldest 2 off to school! :) haha
Have seen that one several times and
if anything, thought he was whiter than usual but believed it was Jackson.
This has happened too many times to me. sm
I have been hired and they told me I will be taking on all their offices to later find a temp sitting there. Then they'll say "I never said I would never keep you." This was not contracted services.
It hurts. I had that happen to me last year and I don't think I've recovered yet. Told the client I don't catch clients up. She said ok. I started work without a contract (not good). Then I felt trapped in the deal. She negotiated everything in her company's favor and then one day suddenly said stop. They were "caught up." I wondered how did I get into this?
I realized the following:
1. Never negotiate your services.
2. Never start work without a contract.
3. Always meet them (no telephone negotiations).
4. No giving prices over the phone.
Wish I had other ways to weed them out. So many OMs where I live who want to cover their bottom line while misleading MTs. I have been so reluctant to market because of this. They fish MTs out. It hurts.
did these happen at once or different times? nm
Precious... Too many times...
we overlook what "grown-up jobs" mean to our young children. They want to help, "butt" (how cute) most of all they want to feel you need them as much as they need you. Thank you for sharing your special time with your daughter and your son I'm most sure appreciates what you are doing he just hasn't expressed that yet. You will most likely get another "surprise" from him when he has his new room... You're doing great spoken from another "Mom" who likes to bond....  They won't be this age 4-ever... cherish it... only happens once....
I've been to NYC 3 times now, just
for day trips, but I would recommend that you get a ticket for the Gray line double decker bus thing. I think it is $50 a person, but you can get on and off as many times as you want, and it stops at most all the tourist attractions. I thought it was money well spent. Since we had a little trouble navigating the Subway the first time we were there. And I was a little scared of the taxis. So this was a good way to get around.
The few times it has happened to me - sm
I just kind of pried it out using a nail file by going under it like I was getting dirt out, then cutting off the extra nail/ingrown part, then putting iodine on my cut. Hurts a lot less with it out than in. Obviously if it is ingrown rather deeply I would not advise this, and would go to a podiatrist immediately. If his toe just started to hurt then you probably caught it early enough and can avoid a doctor visit by doing the above.
Will probably move a few times
I get bored easily and do not like being in the same place for a long time. Been here for 10 years and just waiting for youngest to go to college in 3 years so I can move. I want to move to NYC area for a few years because right now I live in a rural area and am going crazy. After NYC would like to maybe move out West for a while and then maybe back to Eastern seaboard.
times have changed
dont make a big deal about it or it will become a big deal. so buy her the little sports bras that look like half T shirts. this is also good in the winter as it helps keep them warmer. no big deal.
times for cash cab
6 pm and 6:30 pm EST and Cash Cab After Dark at 11 pm EST on Discovery Channel....Enjoy the game!
I have been to N. Carolina several times
but hubs thinks he can vacation no where besides Vegas?? I do my own trips with tour groups and then we go to, you guessed it, Vegas again!! We are into mine and our trips, works for us.
They pray 5 times a day. sm
They also wash their feet after they pray. They also wash their feet after they use the bathroom or pass gas unless they are wearing leather socks, in which case the gas may pass freely. No pork, and theoretically they are not supposed to eat any kind of meat that is not killed by a fellow Muslim. Also, dog slobber is verboten. I saw on the news where the Muslim cashiers that work at Mpls Target stores refused to scan pork items that people were buying. It's all this politically correct BS is going to be the death of America.
I read this 3 times, and it was very
hard to follow. I was very interested in what it turned out to be.
Are you saying it turned out to be the cat's anal glands being impacted?
Men are just weird some times##
.
How many times were you engaged
Before you actually got married? I married the only man who asked me to marry him seriously. I knew on our first date that he was my destiny...how bout you?
I would wash several times - may even
try putting baby oil in first or something - it eventually will loosen and come out if exposed to enough water. Then maybe try to comb out.
I have seen the movie several times and of course
cry every time. I told DH I wanted the movie for Christmas and he got me the book. I had not read the book before, and honestly, I liked the movie better. That is the first time I have ever liked a movie better than the book.JMHO!
both teams - not times .lol.
nm
We go several times a year but
we have crazy schedules - I work 60+ hours a week at 2 jobs, husband travels a lot during the week, weekends are filled with sports, etc. When we do go to grandparents though, as soon as we walk in the door, it's "leave the dog alone, stay out of the corral, don't dig in the yard (they have lots of land), don't this, don't that". The kids are expected to just sit on the couch and watch TV quietly (2 are teenagers and 1 is 7) - that's no fun???
I saw her on TV several times when they featured her on one of the SM
health stations. They told her story from birth. She is adorable. Her name was Kennedy.
the last few times I was in our local
all the people working the windows were pushing the 'forever' stamps, telling everyone about the rate increase coming and you should buy some now before it goes up again. One postal worker even told one of the customers if she lost the stamps for 5 years and then found them she'd be able to use em.
Personally, we snail mail so few things in our house these days that when I bought 3 books I figured they will probably last us about 5 years.
nah, just young the first two times. nm
Do you know how many times yesterday
that I started to ask this same exact question and then deleted it??? I had the opportunity the last two days to tell him I wanted out but I got scared and just stayed in the back of the house.
|
