How is it not a big deal when there are kids involved? (sm)
Posted By: Grounds for divorce?? on 2007-09-24
In Reply to: he'll find another because she said she wants to leave. - no need for exclamation; not a big deal -
He has a choice - I have given him 10 years and he just does not care about my opinion. Why can he not change at all to keep his family together?
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If you care about your kids, you will be involved sm
in the drama of high school life! I am very involved with my kids and their "drama" because I am a good listener and care about what my kids have going on in their life. I am there to listen to them and give them advice. Isn't that what parents are for?
I would throw the son a b-day party and if girls came, they came. If not, you can still have fun with just the boys. Do a campout for them. Sounds like the girl needs to get a life and get over it! She is just jealous.
Since there are kids involved, I'd think long and hard (sm)
about leaving him. It's quite easy for others to tell you he needs to be dumped, but they sure won't live with the aftermath.
Take the 100k and remodel the house. Forget adding on. Spend the money on creating a fabuous kitchen with hearth room, fix structural defects, redo the kids' rooms; totally redecorate exactly the way you want with no regard to his taste, and get a nice new minivan to haul the kids around to play dates.
Oh, spare a little money to build a bedroom in the barn. He loves the yard and barn so much, he can live there.
See, this way if you stay and work on your marriage, you'll have a beautiful home you can live with. If his selfish ways finally push you beyond tolerance and love for him, you'll have a great house to put on the market. With your half of the sale, you'll finally be able to have the home you've always dreamed of. It's a win-win for you.
Not involved
NM
I would have never ever gotten involved with my
I only did because he accepts my biracial son and is a father to him. I guess you can say I settled. He loves me totally and completely but I cannot love him and will not marry him. ever.
And I was involved with a CASA
before for stepgchildren and personally I did not find them to be that hot. They actually played a part in giving back the children to a strung-out mother who lived off the welfare system, never worked, lazy, good for nothing but they feel like "kids should be with their mothers." Ok, so they went back and last I heard the mother was gone and the kids out on the streets, oh well you live and learn. Mothers around not always the best.
Has anyone been involved with Meetup.com?
I've been thinking about starting a meetup group to get my daughter together with other girls her age who enjoy art and crafting. But I'm a little hesitant to start one because I don't have any experience with being involved in a group this way. I really wouldn't want to hold anything at my house right away with complete strangers, that would be something that could happen later on as we all got to know each other better. I would love to hear about experiences that people have had with any type of group that has met this way. Thanks!
There's a landlord involved here?
You have rights - if he is violating the rules and/or the law with respect to noise violations he either fixes the problem or moves. Check out the law in your state.
I didn't say I was getting involved - sm
I simply told the background and asked for positive thoughts for her and her son. That's it. I'm not going to tell her what to do.
Right now I am involved in about 15 things and I'm trying to sm
find a way to cut it down to half. If you are older and you don't have small kids, then I suggest getting involved in church more. I have 3 young sons so we are constantly going from ball practice to ball practice. In between that I teach 2 Sunday School classes, attend a mid-week Bible study, have lunch with husband every Friday, work out 4 days a week, work 25+ hours a week at MQ, visit friends and family out of town quarterly, PLUS I am involved heavily in 2 other major ministries at church - Pastor prayer partners and the Invitation Team.
If that isn't enough, I scrapbook like crazy and take lots of pictures.
I also write notes to people I haven't seen in a while, or I'll just write cards to people in general and tell them I'm praying for them and that takes an hour or so.
Oh, did I also mention that I am a freelance writer for a Christian publication?
I also write material and Bible studies for our church.
I used to bowl every Thur. morning, but quit that. May take up an evening league one night a week. I love to bowl.
I am up LATE every single night and hit the ground running early in the morning to start homeschooling. The only time I have to myself every single day is after 10 o'clock every night. If I need 2 hours I take 2 hours. If I need more sleep, then I'm in bed by 10:30. I take whatever time I need for myself every single day.
Find something you enjoy and just do it. Take a class at the library. Learn to quilt. Learn to sew. Learn to play an instrument. The key is doing something you enjoy doing: cooking, reading, etc.
Life is too short to waste doing nothing or sitting around wasting time. There's work to be done!!!!!!!
guess you'd say I'm really involved!
I was close to my mother's parents as a child. They were my second parents and I probably lived half the year on their farm. I see it as being a good thing for me. My GP lived way out in the woods and never drove "to town," so they only left home to attend weddings and funerals, otherwise my parent(s) took me there.
When my daughter was pregnant, I lived 1000 miles away, but we talked on the phone almost daily. When my GD was born, I was able to visit when she was 2 weeks old and I knew I had to move back to the area. She is a manipulative person and I had long ago set limits that I would do anything for her out of love that didn't involve money, so I kept my GD every other weekend and more if asked. I supported my daughter emotionally in every way I could. If she asked my opinion, I always tried to give a balanced opinion and never interfered when my opinion was not asked, although if something came up later I would try to offer options for a situation. When things fell apart for her, I am glad I was there to catch my GD so she was not lost to CPS. I am now adopting her.
I am blessed to be a grandmother...although I hope this is the only one :)
Grandparents are not involved much. . sm
It's funny you should ask this question today. My mom, who lives 90 minutes away, came for a visit. We haven't seen her in about 4 months. My 2-year-old didn't know who the heck she was and was scared of her for the first day she was here. We only see her 3 to 4 times a year. I wish we could see her more. My dad died when my oldest was one. He had never even met him.
My husband's parents have little to do with the kids. They live 20 minutes away, and we hardly see them. It really hurts because they always have my SIL's kids. They are the same age as my kids and spend almost every weekend at their house. During the summer, they spend even more time with them. After a couple of years of this, I finally asked them why they don't ever have my kids over. They said they will try to spend more time with them. Last summer, they invited the oldest to spend one night, and the SIL's kids were there. I am giving up. Sorry this got so long. I am really sad about this right now.
Involved with grandsons
age 15 and 8.... My DH & I sold our home as did my daughter and SIL. We bought one together. My daughter could not "bear" it if something happened to us so she pretty much decided this four years ago. So far it has worked out pretty well except I can't be involved with the grandsons spiritually as they are into another "type" of spiritual organization than I. That has been and probably always will be the most difficult task I have ever encountered to share my beliefs with them. I just continue to pray that everyone will be on the right path TOGETHER in the end.
CPS does tell if lawyer gets involved. have had every detail given to me before sm
when they were called in me for my kids riding their bikes in the neighborhood streets like every kid in the neighborhood did. we hired lawyer, refused the one on one investigation at school with the kids, and had the "meeting" at the laywers office. never allowed them in our home, but our lawyer got every detail of the report, which was passed onto us. we had the date, the name of the person who called, their address, everything.
I did try to get a consumer advocate involved
but no luck. Called 1 day and would not take my call, guess he had more important ones that day. I agree totally with you about getting a news channel involved, I just decided maybe if I went the court way might would stand a chance, knew I could go after their banking acct or garnishment if the courts on my side and it turned out that way. The price they owe me has gone up over $100 just for my court costs and now they owe those in addition to what it was in the first place. The courthouse steps is the way the county does where I purchased the furniture. We could have it at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, just as long as I retrieve what is owed.
You talk like the only ones involved with big taxes
My father got killed in an accident, left me his property, I sold and for upcoming year MY taxes on that ALONE over $13,000.00. I did not fuss, I did not oh woe me- just put that money in the bank to draw interest until tax time. Know I owe and have that set aside. That does not count all the other taxes DH and I pay for the year and I sound like a grinch? Sure don’t get that remark. I am as much into keeping all that I can but EVERYONE (unless on welfare) has to pay their share, until and if they change the laws. I would be glad for any bonus he or I either one got but not happening here, so where does grinch come in?
Unless your son was involved in the incident, they probably would not inform you.
If the schools had to inform all parents of every single incident that occured between students, that could be a full-time job unto itself for 2 or 3 people in some schools. It sounds like the school took proper measures in disciplining the students involved in the incident.
As far as the post below regarding the 4th grade girl and her lies, I am sure that the boy in question knew what she was saying and may or may not have told his parent(s). At any rate, that would be a matter for the families of the children involved.
Illegal and all involved should be prosecuted.
NM
apologies heal all involved --
acknowledged or not.
I am inspired.
Does not really matter why, especially if there are children involved
x
My understanding is that both parties involved are black. nm
x
That is precious. It really is. Too many husbands not involved these days! nm
.
For the sake of her family. There are children involved.
nm
I don't understand the ethics of the doctors involved
xx
I agree with letting him go...if there are no children involved (sm)
and you are still young, get out now while you can. Don't wait like I did. I was married to someone very similar for 15 years and finally separated, but now I am older and I have two children who rely on me. I would much rather have left him early on, found someone new, and have children with a stable home.
Just started Healthy Performance..cooking involved though.
It has been just a little over 24 hours. I CAN do this. Sometimes it just takes a kick in the butt to get me moving in the right direction and I think this is gonna do it. Good luck to you!
Normal. I think jealousy is involved & also that his hormones are starting
s
Dog killing and mayor involved in letter writing
I am really in a twizzy this morning. Shirley Franklin, city of Atlanta mayor, wrote a letter to the judge involved in the Michael Vick dog fighting/killing asking for leniency as, how she put it, Vick had done a lot for the community and helped folks out. Phooey!!! I hope personally he never is able to return to the Falcons or any other football team. I think whatever he was able to accomplish was blown by the fact that he participated in the killing of dogs. How inhumane is that? I hope PETA gets out and strikes each and every time (if he is rehired by any jackoffs) he is supposed to be playing. Came from the ghetto and I suppose the thug still in him. What a shame. Never made a million in my life and he made mega millions and then threw it all away for ??? I am vexed by her doing such a deed and will send letter stating my feelings.
Talk to DFS, Juvenille Officer involved in the case (sm)
and if the children are appointed a CASA or Guardian Ad Litem, also make yourself known to them. When these children are taken in as wards of the court suitable family placement is always looked at. From experience I will tell you there are many, many wonderful foster-adoptive families out there just waiting for these babies.
By the way, if you are awarded custody of this child and the child does have special needs, the state will steer you towards getting assistance in getting what help you need.
It would be lovely if all the children could be kept together and sometimes this is possible. You will find out much more after the initial hearing I suppose.
Good luck to you and the children. Bless their little hearts, they only know mommy is mommy and have no idea of what a good mommy should be. I have seen children who have been physically and verbally abused and neglected by parent who still love and want to be with them. They don't know anything different.
Once again, good luck.
Abusive to women, animals - thank goodness there are no children involved. (sm)
get her out of that situation before any more harm comes about.
Youngest daughter once dated a guy and we discovered she was afraid to not be ready on time, to wear something he didn't like, etc. Soon we found out there were bruises on her upper arms and near her breasts. Needless to say, we marched her to the courthouse, got an ex parte. He broke into our house after that when he thought she was home alone, we pressed charges and had that young man paying court costs for quite some time in addition to going to anger management classes.
We were lucky, we got her out before it was too late. He had her emotionally beat down to the point she couldn't stand up on her own. Heaven help those without a support system.
Sounds good to me. Glad girls are involved in video
xx
Gays march for their rights to be involved with their long-time partners
health care should a drastic decision be made. It is usually a family member...even though we are the ones who take care of our partners when they are sick or dying. We fight for the right not to be thrown out of a shared house by the partner's parents. We want to honor our partner's wishes when they die as we are the ones who have spent years with them - not the family. These are just a few examples.
As far as your comment that we influence young people - that is absurd. All we want is to live our life and as pxmt said, be able to walk down the street without abusive comments, being assaulted, ridiculed, etc.
The school system is not segregating gay children - they are making it "gay friendly and teaching tolerance". Suicide is very high in gay children because of the parents who teach their children that it is evil and it is okay to bash a gay child. These schools are just trying to save the lives of young children.
As far as your comment that Christian's homes and churches are burned, sorry but I cannot recall one incident that I have read or saw on the news. Temples yes. As far as being assaulted for your beliefs, could it be because you stand in front of abortion clinics and gun down the doctors and nurses that come out or go into the clinic? Could it be that you bully the 15 and 16-year-olds who have been raped and want an abortion?
Sorry to say this, at least we (gays) are not violent and just want to be left alone.
Big deal....
Let her call your home and wish him a happy birthday. Is she hurting anyone. There are children starving to death in other countries and women being raped and killed and you have a nice warm house and beautiful children. Just let her be and let things happen as they will. We are not in control of things to begin with.
I would much rather deal with this
So they pass gas or burp. Big flippin' deal! Better than drugs, guns, and the like that pass through the doors of a school! Cut me a break... You people are outta control here. Parents allowing it? So what if they do? They can teach manners, but let's face it, kids will be kids, and sometimes it happens. That is just plain crazy to think that because your child farts in class that makes him the next serial killer! Paaaleeezzze!
So what? What's the big deal? You act like they want to
X
If you don't know what the big deal is....
This is a long read but worth it........
A National ID Bill Masquerading as Immigration Reform
by Rep. Ron Paul, MD
by Rep. Ron Paul, MD
Watch Ron Paul deliver this speech to the House of Representatives on video.
Before the US House of Representatives, February 9, 2005
Mr. Speaker:
I rise in strong opposition to HR 418, the REAL ID Act. This bill purports to make us safer from terrorists who may sneak into the United States, and from other illegal immigrants. While I agree that these issues are of vital importance, this bill will do very little to make us more secure. It will not address our real vulnerabilities. It will, however, make us much less free. In reality, this bill is a Trojan horse. It pretends to offer desperately needed border control in order to stampede Americans into sacrificing what is uniquely American: our constitutionally protected liberty.
What is wrong with this bill?
The REAL ID Act establishes a national ID card by mandating that states include certain minimum identification standards on driver's licenses. It contains no limits on the government's power to impose additional standards. Indeed, it gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland Security to unilaterally add requirements as he sees fit.
Supporters claim it is not a national ID because it is voluntary. However, any state that opts out will automatically make non-persons out of its citizens. The citizens of that state will be unable to have any dealings with the federal government because their ID will not be accepted. They will not be able to fly or to take a train. In essence, in the eyes of the federal government they will cease to exist. It is absurd to call this voluntary.
Republican Party talking points on this bill, which claim that this is not a national ID card, nevertheless endorse the idea that "the federal government should set standards for the issuance of birth certificates and sources of identification such as driver's licenses." So they admit that they want a national ID but at the same time pretend that this is not a national ID.
This bill establishes a massive, centrally-coordinated database of highly personal information about American citizens: at a minimum their name, date of birth, place of residence, Social Security number, and physical and possibly other characteristics. What is even more disturbing is that, by mandating that states participate in the "Drivers License Agreement," this bill creates a massive database of sensitive information on American citizens that will be shared with Canada and Mexico!
This bill could have a chilling effect on the exercise of our constitutionally guaranteed rights. It re-defines "terrorism" in broad new terms that could well include members of firearms rights and anti-abortion groups, or other such groups as determined by whoever is in power at the time. There are no prohibitions against including such information in the database as information about a person's exercise of First Amendment rights or about a person's appearance on a registry of firearms owners.
This legislation gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland Security to expand required information on driver's licenses, potentially including such biometric information as retina scans, finger prints, DNA information, and even Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) radio tracking technology. Including such technology as RFID would mean that the federal government, as well as the governments of Canada and Mexico, would know where Americans are at all times of the day and night.
There are no limits on what happens to the database of sensitive information on Americans once it leaves the United States for Canada and Mexico – or perhaps other countries. Who is to stop a corrupt foreign government official from selling or giving this information to human traffickers or even terrorists? Will this uncertainty make us feel safer?
What will all of this mean for us? When this new program is implemented, every time we are required to show our driver's license we will, in fact, be showing a national identification card. We will be handing over a card that includes our personal and likely biometric information, information which is connected to a national and international database.
H.R. 418 does nothing to solve the growing threat to national security posed by people who are already in the U.S. illegally. Instead, H.R. 418 states what we already know: that certain people here illegally are "deportable." But it does nothing to mandate deportation.
Although Congress funded an additional 2,000 border guards last year, the administration has announced that it will only ask for an additional 210 guards. Why are we not pursuing these avenues as a way of safeguarding our country? Why are we punishing Americans by taking away their freedoms instead of making life more difficult for those who would enter our country illegally?
H.R. 418 does what legislation restricting firearm ownership does. It punishes law-abiding citizens. Criminals will ignore it. H.R. 418 offers us a false sense of greater security at the cost of taking a gigantic step toward making America a police state.
I urge my colleagues to vote "NO" on the REAL ID Act of 2005.
February 12, 2005
Dr. Ron Paul is a Republican member of Congress from Texas.
Anyone else had to deal with this?
My mother has suffered from arthritis for years. She just turned 80 in May of this year. She's told me during the past week that her legs have gotten increasingly more painful - to the point that she can hardly walk to get to the bathroom. Today, she said if her legs aren't better the next time she goes to the doctor, she's planning to talk to him about going in a nursing home. I am really distressed about this - realistically, I've known the day was coming, since her home is not amenable to her being in a wheelchair full-time. I live 1200 miles away from her in a second floor apartment, so even if she wanted to come stay with me, that's not possible considering my current living situation. In my head, I know this may be the best solution, and that I probably couldn't change things even if I lived closer, but my heart is hurting!
This is the deal...
She and he lived in Minneapolis and me way down here. I BEGGED her not to marry him, BEGGED her, and she didn't listen. She is extremely, extremely intelligent and NEVER listens to what I say. Even her little bro, who is 16, tells her, "You should just listen to Mom, she may be a b**** but she knows what she is talking about." She is SO smart she got a 4-year full scholarship at a University in New Orleans, so now she's down here with me and he has less control, which is making him more psycho, but "sometimes" he's nice. "Sometimes he acts like he loves me." The only good thing is that she didn't get pregnant. Oooh, I am just livid. I can hardly type and I have to sit here and work for 8 hours.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Dogs and cats can be criminal like that...torturing small animals just for fun.
Gross dogs though, let me tell you about gross. A friend was in bed, watching TV and having some tea and toast before taking a snooze with her dog, a Malamute, who also shares her bed. This lady was eating her toast while watching tv, not really paying attention. She thought she dropped a small piece of toast on the blanket, picked it up, and popped it in her mouth. Turned out to be a small chunklet of cat turd covered in litter, accidentally dropped there courtesy of you-know-who.
Yep, her dog, like mine, loves to sneak "kitty krunchies" out of the box and snack on them when no one's lookin'.
no big deal!
I think I would probably have a heart attack if I were ever bitten by a snake.. My dentist bought an old house that was inhabited by snakes. . he shot some, carried some out using sticks, played loud music and finally, after a couple of years, has managed to take over the house. . he has way more patience and courage than I would have.
What is the big deal??? They had to have
gas and he said he would put in 10. He did. When he gets gas for his car is his business. If he wants to stop every day for gas, how does that affect her??? If they fight over little things like that, doesn't sound like a good marriage to me.
I know I should not have to deal with this...sm
But see my mother refuses to talk to him. She doesn't take his calls. She will call the police if he comes on her property so she doesn't have to deal with him. I no longer answer his calls either. I don't answer my door if he knocks. But he will literally wait for you to go somewhere outside like he knows I have to leave an 2:45 to go get my son for school and that is his opportunity. It is can I use your phone? Can I have a bite to eat. Then its crying. When my husband is home he does not do this. He does not come over to my house at all. My husband is a truckdriver so he is away a lot. My mother has got on his a** multiple times for bothering me and my sister. She has went off on him. He doesn't pay any attention. She has went to the sheriff. My best friend's husband is a deputy. I have talked to him. As long as he is on his property and hasn't done anything they can't do anything. All I can do is move. Pure and simple.
to deal with her.
nm
Here's the deal
Ok, we'll start at first cousin, since everyone knows that.
Your kids and your cousin's kids are second cousins.
Your grandkids and your cousin's grandkids are third cousins.
The "removed" part comes into play anytime you're talking about different generations.
For example, you and your cousin's kids are first cousins, once removed.
Your children and your cousin's grandchildren would be second cousins, once removed.
Here's the deal..........
I did that for years. I was working all day and STILL felt because I was at home, I should be washing dishes, putting in a load of laundry, whatever needed to be done, but knew I had to work my shift as well or even my prn work....all the while the children were growing up.
Even my childeren got to where they thought if they needed something (not an emergency) or just wanted to interrupt, they could just feel free to do so... after all, if I didn't make my work a priority in my own head, why should they? Even my mother would call and say something like, "You still on that computer"?, as if what I did wasn't important.
I finally stopped all that nonsense. They got off to school, I sat down at the same time everyday (just as if I were in an office), no phone answering, no door answering. Even my husband would call asking me to look up something in a file for him as if I were his secretary (stopped that too!). You should have seen the look on their faces when they realized I was NOT going to have whatever piece of clothing they wanted washed that day, they would eat what I had time to fix and be glad they had it (no all day meal cooking). The door to the room was shut and unless there was an emergency, it was to stay shut until I came out.
I had already told my mother I wouldn't be answering the phone but if there was an emergency, I would always be screening the messages; otherwise, her chit chat time was on hold until my day was over and I had finished with what I had to do for the day. That woman would then actually get in her car and come across town to knock on my door, saying since I wasn't answering the phone, she would just come over, as if that was okay!! She just doesn't get it at all!! I'm at home, so I must not be actually working. The next time she done that, I didn't go to the door. She stood and knocked, rang the doorbell, even went around the house to the back door seeing if it were open. I didn't go to the door, she went back home, rang the phone off the wall several times that afternoon and when I called her back that night, she wanted to know why I didn't come to the door. She had called my husband at work to ask him why I didn't answer the phone or the door. he told her I had work to do and couldn't get it done jumping up and down all day long. He was finally getting it. He told her if I were in an office somewhere, I couldn't be sitting on the phone for personal calls, doing laundry, washing the clothes, or running an errand, and she STILL said she just needed to tell me something..... like it couldn't wait until later.
Sometime, you just gotta do what you gotta do. If you stop obsessing about what housework there is around and remind yourself you have a job to do, all the other stuff will get done AFTER your job is finished, not during, you will start feeling better about everything.
If you were outside the home in an office would you be doing any of that stuff? Trust me, it can and will wait. You will be more productive as well. Just stick to it.
My sister in law knows I'm swamped with work and she still calls in the middle of the day wanting to chit chat (she doesn't work and has PLENTY of money) about anything and everything, and when I don't answer the phone, she calls her brother (hubby) at work and wonders if there's something wrong, since I'm not answering the phone. Geeeze!
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
This is sooooooooooooo not a big deal!
I'd say just get over it and stop being so sensitive.
How do you deal with fatigue?
Do any of you suffer from fatigue? I mean being so tired, no matter how much sleep, you could just hit the floor and go into a coma? I thought it was the Lexapro I was on for about 6 months so I discontinued that. While there was a teensy bit of improvement (and that was well over a year ago I stopped it), the fatigue is back in full force. It is a year-round problem for me, certainly moreso during winter, but it is at its worst when I sit down to the computer.
Do you have any suggestions as far as if it could be something to do with my work space? It's clean and bright, almost always has a nice Yankee candle burning, and my chair is a typical task chair with no arm rests and I try to sit as upright as I comfortably can. My keyboard is a regular style, nothing fancy, but nothing hurts. Monitor is a flat panel LCD. I stay away from sodapop and only have 1 cup of coffee daily, otherwise it's water w/Crystal light, and I'm not taking anything for pills except a daily vitamin.
I'd certainly appreciate any tips or suggestions you might have. Thanks for taking the time to read this! 
So go over and have pizza..what's the big deal?
Not like she asked you to plan it or have it at your place and cook a meal. Maybe I'm not understanding.
And much easier to deal with
///
Also make a big deal
of the fact that he wears "big boy" underwear and that your toddler will get to do that too when he is big enough and potty trained. Apparently that worked wonders with me and my sisters.
I honestly don't see why this is a big deal
This is information which is already on file with the government. Every American citizen should have copies of all of this information.
When you hear something like this, always go to snopes.com and check it out. See the link below.
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