How important is it to you to receive a sympathy card
Posted By: unloved on 2009-01-02
In Reply to:
How important is it for you to receive a sympathy card? I know this has been quite a long time now (3 years), but still bothers me. My mom died 3 years ago and I received only 3 cards. One from my DH's aunt & uncle and my best friend sent me 2 cards. Nobody else sent me a card. My MIL, BIL (3 of them - all married), SIL, co-workers (8 of them), people in my quilting guild that I've been quilting with for years and years. None of them. I went back for the funeral and listed to my sister and aunt tell each other about how many cards they got and how much they were loved by their friends (they made it into a joke as to who was more loved by who got more cards :-) My sister got about 18 or 20 cards and my aunt got about 30. They said they were sure when I got back I'd have many cards waiting for me (I flew back 2 days after hearing of my moms death). My sister even offered me some of her cards. I came home and had just the 3 cards. My best friend also send me some "cheering up gifts". But still nothing from anyone. I never said anything to DH but it bothered and still does bother me that people thought so little of me than to send me a card letting me know they were thinking about me. The worst thing was that I always sent them birthday, anniversary, and sympathy cards to them. I even would send them sympathy cards when their pets died.
Well I'm over it, but every once in awhile I think about it and it just saddens me. So now I don't send any of them any cards for anything. Just wondered if it bothers other people like it did me.
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IMO a card would not be out of order at all. Except a sympathy card, of course.
I totally agree a sympathy card wouldn't quite be the thing, but it sounded to me that the original poster of that idea didn't mean a sympathy card like one for death. I think sympathy in the sense of "hey, you had a rough time of it with this birth, and maybe things haven't been the way you imagined, but know that I'm thinking of you and I'm here if and when you need me."
I got PPD when my breastfeeding relationship didn't go right, following a birth plan that went seriously awry, and the reality of a fussy, picky baby instead of the happy, sleeping one that I had imagined.
I *did* spend a lot of time on the phone, but then everybody's different. I would have loved to get a cheerful card from a friend, however. Does anybody NOT like a card?
not a sympathy card...
Just a congrats on your new baby and friendship, etc... No, sympathy on behalf of the baby would be totally out of order. The baby is fine except for a common foot deformity. It is correctable. No she needs a pick me up card. Something to brighten her day.
Need help on what to write on sympathy card for baby SM
My friends just lost a baby to SIDS. The funeral is tomorrow. Unfortunately I can't make it, but I'm sending a sympathy plant/flowers. I'm at a total loss for words. What should I write on the card? Appreciate any input.
I was just saying I think it would be out of line also to send her a sympathy card...
I AM leaving her alone. I am just asking for other insight since I don't understand this. Like have other people done this. I am not pushy. If I were pushy I would keep calling and asking to speak with her or go over. I am respecting her wishes. I haven't been over because she said she doesn't want anyone over. How am I pushy?
I just got back from buying a sympathy card for my brother's MIL, glad I did now. nm
x
Have U renogiated credit card debt when minimum payment got too high? Do they take your card away,
s
Credit Card Reform Can Cost Good Card Users
Part of article:
Credit cards have long been a very good deal for people who pay their bills on time and in full. Even as card companies imposed punitive fees and penalties on those late with their payments, the best customers racked up cash-back rewards, frequent-flier miles and other perks in recent years.
Now Congress is moving to limit the penalties on riskier borrowers, who have become a prime source of billions of dollars in fee revenue for the industry. And to make up for lost income, the card companies are going after those people with sterling credit.
We pay off our balance every month. If they do this (punish those who have sterling credit) Ridiculous!! I'll stop using my CC and pay by cash or check.
So much for reform.
ask and you shall receive
I have not seen this movie. and no I have no desire to. It is just not a movie that a christian mother would allow her children to see. Done. Now I am getting to work.
what if you don't receive your pay?
Hi there, I am just getting done a job I have had since 2001, and I have a gut feeling that I will not be receiving my last two checks. Not to do with my work at all, but the boss is pissed off and happens to be my daughter as well, so if this turns out to be the case, what recourse do we have to collect what is owed us? I thought maybe someone else out there had run into this, probably not with the "family issue" added, but similar. Thanks for any thought you might have on this kind of issue. I really need those checks to pay my bills!
Just because you receive an invitation
does not mean you have to go to the event. All you had to do was decline.
We were fortunate enough to receive one for coal...sm
Considering the high cost of heating oil, natural gas, and kerosene, we're very grateful...Thanks, Santa.  Cat
At least 2 of the kids are dev disabled and receive SSI. nm
.
Wow. I didn't realize the response I was going to receive. Let me all tell you a little sm
something about me (for a change).
I am a very intimate, romantic, sexual (close your eyes if this is offensive), kind of gal. Seriously. My mother always told me I was a "hopeless romantic!" One of my favorite movies is Pretty Woman, for crying out loud. For years, I would shop in the lingerie dept. at various dept. stores, even buying things from Victoria's Secret, mind you. But if there is one thing my husband has done to me over the years is help me to completely lose interest in intimacy and now, sex. He doesn't listen to me, doesn't compliment me, doesn't touch me at all during the day. It's saddened me so much over the past few years. If we meet up after work he'll just go on about his business, not reaching to give me a kiss, ask me about my day, nothing.
The fact that he approached me the other night was actually surprising. Yes, he's trying. But what is a woman to do when after so many years of neglect? Jump at him? Tackle him? I can't. I simply can't. I'm suffering from low self worth as it is due to his lack of communicating any kind of affection or concern to me. I don't know how to gain it back. I don't know how to get back that spark. It's not there. It saddens me so much, but it's true.
So, give me a little more credit.
I agree, they should receive more respect from students
and parents alike. I just don't believe they are underpaid for the actual hours they put in.
The idea of gift giving is not to receive anything in
Either give from the heart or don't give at all. Expect nothing in return and if you do get something, then consider it a blessing including a thank you. In God's eyes, this is what Christmas giving is truly about and isn't this all over the fact that you are child's Godparents? I think you should think about that for a minute and what responsibility that holds in this young girl's life.......... It sort of sounds like this is about you and not about what God would want.
I did not receive any child support, so we agreed to
split all bills evenly as we have joint custody. That is what our papers say, that we split all major expenses, i.e., clothes, school supplies, education fees, etc.
In Georgia, we receive permission slips also.
I don't think they should have to check every child's record before administering any MEDICAL testing, but I definitely think permission slips are in order.
No sympathy here.
I was taken advantage of by a family member when I was very young. I blocked it out for years -- almost lost my marriage because of it. When the flashbacks came I thought I was losing my mind. I feel no sympathy for anyone who does this to a child. Speaking from the otherside of it -- you may move on, but it stays with you forever. It is a club I would rather not be a part of.
No sympathy--sm
I have read the message from the poster below reminding us that the abusers are someones child, as well. That someone loves them too. Well, love them, yes. Condone what they did. NO.
It is just my opinion that these types of people CANNOT be *rehabilitated*. It is as much within them as homosexuality is within a homeosexual person. It is not something that is *learned*. It is bred within them and cannot be *cured*.
I was, and I will use the term that was inflicted on me, RAPED...40 years ago. It is still within me. Yes. I have *moved on* and do not think about it or dwell on it...but the after effects just never go away. It has affected every male/female relationship and some friendships that I have ever been involved in. I have given up on trying to have a relationship with anyone, as my psyche will just end up ruining it. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to ever hurt anyone else again. The person who inflicted himself on me has nothing to bear within his soul. He will never know the kind of pain he has inflicted upon others. He just gets his *satisfaction* and moves onto the next one..until he is caught. But even then, his *sentence* can never come anywhere close to what he has done to his victim. Ever.
so. no sympathy here. That one *event* changed my life forever, but not his.
Don’t need sympathy from you or anyone here
I said rudeness, saying a person not smart enough to ask something- this is, like I said, a forum. People can and do ask a lot of different things here- not that you have to fricking use the advice! Not that you take the advice always! But, people sometimes have similar things happen in their lives. That is what I am saying. No sense in people being suck jerks!
You have all my sympathy ! Been there, done that. nm
x
no sympathy, as long as they are
rightly convicted. I myself have been molested as a child, not severely, not even long-term, but it has had a PROFOUND effect upon my mental/emotional/sexual being. It took flashbacks after almost 30 years to piece it all together and understand the impact upon my life. and NO, i don't think they 'rehabilitate'. I think life in prison is the minimal most of these offenders should do. Death would be better for the more persistent and violent offenders.
Now I will give you my sympathy as you did for me
the other day as my baby Kitty-Kat was dying. I really feel your sorry.
Thanks for the advice and sympathy.
It's not just the pain, but have you also had such trouble procrastinating, or when you get started, cannot keep concentration? Combine all three, and heavens it is hard to get through a day. I am a bit better today compared with yesterday, thank God.
I will be sure to try the flax oil and taurine supplement you suggested, "MT also in NC." Thanks so much.
Not looking for sympathy, in fact
I figure to get the opposite! Doesn't matter! I'm a smoker ... yeah that's right, a dirty low life scum of the earth polluting your air smoker! One of the few little pleasure I have in life. When the price of cigarettes went sky high, we started "rolling our own". It was a lot cheaper, for a while. The price of the tobacco went up, but still much cheaper than cigarettes. Well today, DH was informed at or local tobacco store, that because of a new tax hike, it will go from $9.14 a can to over $20.00 by April 1st? Ok. I'm done, let the stoning begin...
Do you have sympathy for child molesters?
Can they be rehabilitated, or should they serve life sentences?
Many people seem to have such mixed feelings about child molesters, like “Well he’s always been such a nice guy,” (duh, how do you think they convince the kids to trust them?), or “They really can’t help it.”
I personally do not have mixed feelings. I believe they should serve life sentences for the torturing of these children. I believe that 99% (if not all) cannot be rehabilitated, they are child rapists for life. In many states molesters are only charged with a misdemeanor if they fail to register as a child molester. This is unacceptable.
Please write your senators and governor and urge them to fund the ADAM WALSH ACT, which will make failure to register a FELONY and help make consistent and uniform laws for ALL STATES. Most of these rapists are not dumb and take advantage of the vast differences in state laws, hopping from state to state trying to find the most lenient laws.
The link below will take you to oprah.com to download a prewritten letter that can be sent to your representatives and links to their addresses. It took me less than 2 minutes to print all the information out, and it could help change our country.
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200702/20070221/slide_20070221_284_118.jhtml
It is estimated that 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of every 10 boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 18. Over 260,000 children are abducted each year in America. PLEASE DO YOUR PART TO HELP.
I just wanted to send my sympathy your way...
May you find comfort in the Lord.
Sympathy cards are so inadequate sm
Maybe the people who did not give you cards had a difficult time finding something and just didn't get one at all because of that. I spent a great deal of time at the store yesterday looking through cards to give a friend who just lost her 7-year-old son. They all say basically the same thing and none of them say the right thing because there is no card in the world that will bring a loved one back. In the end, I did pick one out to give the family but still feel it is woefully inadequate to express how my heart aches for them and their loss.
Dating sympathy (from married person)
I would hate to go back to dating. I've been married 18 years but I do remember what single life and dating were like.
The majority of them were creeps for one reason or another (especially the one going to law school - I got my first clue when I saw a sticker inside his car - his last name is also an occupation and the sticker said _________ know all the right strokes). (eye roll)
I mentioned in another post that I had moved into an apt. with my boyfriend of about a year, and 3 weeks later, he left me for his ex-wife.
At that point, I swore off of men. I figured I'd just live in the same apartment and go to work at the hospital 5 days a week for the rest of my life. That's when my husband walked into my life.
I had first met him in 1985 when, after graduating high school, I went to work at McDonald's. He was a swing manager, 2 years older and so darned handsome. We dated for quite awhile but it wasn't exclusive. He then joined the navy and got married. Three years later, his ex told him she needed to get a life and filed for divorce.
About 3 months prior to this, I swore off men for good. Then, one day, I was working a Saturday at the hospital (I think it was to make up for the day I missed when I had a diagnostic laparoscopy - yeah, it was stupid going back to work the day after you have surgery). I got a phone call from my mom, asking me if I remembered such and such. My husband's sister had called my parents' house but my mom didn't want to give out info, so she called and gave the info to me. I called his sister and we gabbed. I told her I remembered her and definitely remembered him. She asked me to meet her and her boyfriend at a bar along with my (future) husband. Well, I said "what the heck". I agreed to go.
Now, this is 3 days status post a laparoscopy and they weren't as good about getting the CO2 out back in 1990 as they are today and that day, I had gas so bad, I probably could have filled up my gas tank 3 times over. I spent almost the entire date squeezing my cheeks together (thankfully we weren't dancing or doing other physical things - LOL). I still had a really good time but was relieved when I left his house. I lived about 10 minutes away and I swear, I must have passed gas the entire ride home.
He knows all about it now. Heck, I can't remember the last time I even closed the door to the bathroom. We have no kids and if I do close the door, all 3 pugs sit outside and scratch the door, whine and cry. I gave up. I'm sometimes even "lucky" enough to have one of them on my lap while I'm going.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is love/good relationships seem to come when you least expect them. When I pursued dating or had someone fix me up, or met a guy in a bar or whatever, it never ended well. Nowadays, how do you know if you're supposed to pay half for the date?
Like I said, I feel for you guys. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow, I think I'd remain single the rest of my life.
Good luck to all of you and God bless!
MOST IMPORTANT!!!!
x
It's not really as important to me as it is to you.
Why don't you take your misdirected anger and put it where it belongs instead of being mean and rude to people on the Internet who have done NOTHING to you!!! Now I remember why I stopped coming to MT Stars and that's because of rude people like YOU.
This is very important..
the cat should be an indoor cat ONLY!! It would never survive outside without any claws. I don't understand why people put their cats out anyway...they are just as happy as being indoors as long as there is stimulation and playtime. I let my cat out on my balcony (under supervision) to "blow the stink off him" but he prefers to be in the house looking out the window.
VERY IMPORTANT
It's very important that you teach your daughter that someone who treats her like this is not a true friend. I have taught my daughter to BE NICE TO EVERYBODY, but you DO NOT have to be everybody's best friend. I have told her what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Help her understand that it is disappointing, but the sooner she accepts that's the way this girl is, the happier she will be. Unfortunately my daughter had to learn the same lesson at that age and I have had to reiterate it to her this year in the 7th grade. It's OKAY to not be best friends with this girl, and that friends should not treat friends this way. It's all about boundaries.
Important
I think it is very important to try to get to the root of your son's problem. He may not have a real handle on what is bothering him (or what happens) either, but there should be someone qualified to help with that.
Another thought is to see if those nanny shows are on DVD. It seems they are very smart about handling a lot of the situations with children and families.
Well that is certainly more important
in the long run.
P.S. - very important
Another thing you don't say is how much you really know about this man. If he has bad credit, unpaid child support payments, a criminal record, etc. this could permanently scar your own situation.
If you don't truly know a great deal about this man, spend a few bucks and have a private investigation firm check him out.
I do not have anything more important
To think about than the one person on this board who posts every other blog, arguing back and forth with themselves, like you, pretending to be 100 people, Maybe you should think about that.
Some important questions
Are there people around who can look in on the grandparents and get back with you? If I were unable to get in touch with grandparents, aunts, siblings or the like and had always been able to, I would contact the police to get them to intervene. I would think they could check up just to ease your mind and make sure they are ok. Oh, by the way, you might text or leave message on cousins phones since you are unable to hear from them this is your plan-- It is surprising how putting this out there will get the attention you are wanting. I just recently got some wonderful results from a person not responding to my emails, realtor to be exact- told him what I planned on doing, no need for him to reply, 4th email and that afternoon a phone call and an email. Works wonders!
Why is the lifestyle more important?
He is a me type person. I have a grown daughter just like that. He is only thinking of himself and what he wants. This is the difference in my martial situation- if my husband wanted to move somewhere else I would go with him in a minute, no question. I love my home but I love him more. The statement about the other woman would probably make me feel a little uneasy because I feel if you are saying things like that, how do I know you are not acting on them? I have a cousin spent loads of time hunting, going to all kinds of meetings of things he was involved with, had 2 almost grown sons, left his wife of 30+ years, had met another woman and gave up a paid for 4 bedroom brick home to live with this woman in a trailer… It happens.
It's important to know these things
You'd know if you hadn't had a BM in 5 days or if you hadn't peed in an entire day. (I'm not suggesting people are writing these things down, I'm just sayin'...) Both might signal that something wasn't right. Periods that are not right in frequency definitely can signal things not right with the body. I think it's a great practice and will do so when my 3 start with their periods. I have PCOS, so I'm a little anal about it, but I so wished someone would have taken notice when I was a teen and showing many signs of it.
Freedom first and most important
My husband has only danced with me ONCE during our entire (more than two-decade) marriage and that was under extreme pressure from his buddies (we were out with a group of friends, mostly couples).
I lost my identity for a long time but after YEARS of marriage I am starting to get it back. Baby steps, but little by little...
I am for them. They are an important reminder
Although they are considered a religious symbol, it should not offend atheists to see them on the side of the road. This is America, land of many religions, and how someone wants to honor a loved one that has passed is their business in my opinion. They are free to be atheists and should allow others their freedom as well.
I think it is important to realize that...
the world does not revolve around us. If there is not a huge amount of fighting or abuse of some sort, why should she deprive her children of their father. Often, I think children say what their parents want to hear about the other parent. My 33-year-old brother still does. There are worse things than waking up and going to bed with a person whom you do not love. And - I bet that if she tried, she could still find something she does love about him. I really think that society has made divorce to acceptable. There is just no incentive to stick it out through the tough times that everyone has.
One important question...sm
One of the things you don't mention is what each of you is bringing into the relationship materially. You say "he knows what he wants out of life", and that's disturbingly different from saying "he has achieved (whatever) in life". After all, what he wants out of life might be a cushy situation...or a mother...or lots of other things that really aren't healthy.
If this man is 40 and isn't bringing a substantial material contribution to the relationship in relation to your own contribution, this is a VERY big red flag.
What's he been doing? What has he accomplished? How stable have his jobs been? At 40, a man has accumulated a sufficient record to tell you exactly who he is beyond his words and protestations of love. You must be willing to LOOK at these things very objectively.
Aside from that, I'm afraid that 70-versus-50 will not be such a good fit, and 80-versus-60 will be even worse.
I'm sorry I can't be more optimistic about this, and I really debated whether to post my reservations because I'm not interested in raining on your parade, but there are simply too many examples of such extreme age differences where the older partner, especially when that is the female, has been victimized by shiftless opportunists who talk the game and say all the things the lonely female wants to hear.
Vitamin D is very important
A lack of vitamin D is the cause of ricketts. It doesn't happen that often in the US any more because of all of the fortified foods we get, but if you don't go outside much at all, it can be a real concern. There was a story about a hugely obese man - like 900 pounds obese - who had horrible pain and it turned out to be a lack of vitamin D. THe only way your body can metabolize vitamin D is by exposure to sunlight.
Doctors always want to make sure that women who are older or at risk for osteoporosis take Calcium and Vitamin D. The Vitamin D helps the body metabolize the calcium.
You should probably take a calcium supplement as well, if you aren't already.
Hope your rib pain goes away!
IMPORTANT. READ THIS!!!!
Right now we are in the first stage just like what happened to Mexico. We are in the mitigating phase for pandemic with level 5.
This flu has the Avian (bird), swine (pig), and the human flu; all three combined. This flu can last 160 days and will spike around 87 days. This flu bug is lay around dormant for a total of 30 days. This flu can have 2 stages. The first part of the flu is just like a flu bug that normally people get, but then it can mutate and go into a secondary phase. The host will try to find your lungs and settle in your lungs and cause pneumonia. Once you have pneumonia with this flu, there are no antibiotics to cure you or fight off infection because this is a new strain of flu.
Yes, lots of people die each year of the flu, but they are usually older people with immune system down or children under the age of 2. The reason why not many people die is because we had flu shots or it is an old type of flu and our body is immune to it.
PANDEMIC MEANS: No antibiotics to cure this flu and no vaccines for this new strain of flu hitting the world. Means imminent for the flu to be wide spread.
Right now you are seeing the spike (second stage)of Mexico which is about 87 days later from when the flu started in Mexico which I believe was around February.
In America, you are right now seeing the beginning of the flu. Around 70-90 days, we will spike just like Mexico, but, it COULD be worse. Mexico was the first wave and we will be the second and could be worse than Mexico. The germ bug is getting smarter and it likes to pick on hosts that are approximately ages 10-40 and VERY HEALTHY INDIVIDUALS, not so much the elderly.
Basically the people who have the flu now are lucky, because they ended up getting the milder case and just watch when it spikes. Also the reports you are seeing is CDC is going back days to weeks, meaning, CDC is going back some 14 days and finding individuals who might have had a case of the flu and then do a test and then report and state confirmation of the swine flu or should be known as H1N1 flu. We do not have confirmed cases as of today, but days or weeks ago from the CDC. This germ/bug is multiplying and multiplying just like a wild fire out of control which can produce more new fires.
Basically, in the next few weeks, partically every state will have the flu. What makes me really nervous is that CDC and others felt this level 5 was going to be announced Friday and possibly Thursday, NOT TODAY!!! It must be pretty bad.
One important point..........
They know for a fact that the AIDS virus was spread for the most part to the heterosexual community by gay males who were married to females but were gay and engaging in homosexual behavior outside their marriage. Their wives contracted the disease, may have divorced, been in other relationships themselves, and not knowing they had the virus, passed it on.....
You're starting to get the point I suppose....
Two important things to keep in mind (sm)
First, he was the one who told you, not someone else. If he were trying to "get away with something" I seriously doubt he would even mention it to you.
Second, they were at a public place, and he said he told you "people were staring." You need to ask yourself if he would do something he wasn't supposed to when people were watching. Also, if people were staring it was probably because they were wondering where you were. None of their business.
I say trust DH on this one. Don't blow it out of proportion, and give him the benefit of the doubt. However, I would also keep an eye and an ear out for this woman. Sitting next to your husband one time at a game is one thing, but it shouldn't become a regular thing.
Best of luck to you! Hope this helps!
I know diet and exercise are important as
well as cutting out sugars, bread, etc. I'm doing that and have been for a while. Please keep your comments to yourself. I'm asking a simple question about a "certain named product"- is it that difficult to answer without stating your "opinions" or telling me what supplement you use? I don't remember asking for your recommendations?
Eyes are important. Why not make
an appointment? If the cause is just allergies and rubbing, maybe they will give you an Rx for allergy drops if eye itchiness is your main problem. Or you could try using an oral antihistamine and avoid rubbing your eyes and see if they improve. Get some Refresh Liquigel lubricant eye drops by Allergan.
Health care is important, but..
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