How far away from your grandparents do you live?
Posted By: Rad MT on 2007-07-06
In Reply to: Forgot to add - Heartbroken OP
It sounds like it would be better for you to talk directly to your grandparents if possible, instead of your aunt or cousins. Just leave them out of the loop if they are going to act this way.
You have a right to name your child whatever you choose. I don't understand why these people are getting so upset. But sometimes people - especially family - will use the least little excuse to create drama. You don't need that in your life, especially not with a new baby to take care of.
If your grandparents live far away, do they have any neighbors are friends that they are close to who could help keep an eye on them for you? My mother had a couple of neighbors who all looked out for her and each other - if one was gone one of the others would watch the house and take in the mail, or if they hadn't seen one of them in a while, they would go check on them, things like that. If your grandparents have neighbors they are close to, you might do better calling them instead of your family. Sad but true.
Good luck. I hope you are able to see and talk to your grandparents. Don't let these other folks get you down. They'll get over it eventually.
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What is sadder is the grandparents live in a small home, 3 bedroom, and filed bankruptcy 2 years ago
nm
grandparents
I'm curious about how involved grandparents are in your child/children's lives........ how often they visit with them; overnight stays; extracurricular activities; babysitting, etc.
If you are a grandparent, how involved are you?
grandparents
My parents were very involved with my daughter when she was growing up - she stayed with them an average of 2-3 nights/per month. . She loved everything about them and everything they did. .they didn't spend a lot of money on her but always gave her tons of time. . as she got older, they would go to her school activities, etc. . After she could drive and after my dad died, she would take my mom places - shopping, out to eat, etc. . Mom died last May and it was hard for all of us. . My ex-husband's dad died before our daughter was born and his mother has never been much of a grandparent. . she lives in another state but still makes little attempt to be a grandmother - when my ex died (daughter's dad) her grandmother asked her what she could do to be a better grandmother. . she was told just call sometimes, send a birthday card, Christmas card, etc. . but she still made little attempt to stay in touch. . My daughter (who is almost 23 now and on her own) called me the other day because she was so excited she had received a letter from her grandmother. . In my opinion, grandparents can contribute so much. . I can't wait to be one!
Grandparents
My children are extremely close with their grandparents on both sides. My DH father passed away when my son was 6 months old and it breaks my heart that none of his grandchildren ever got to know what an incredible man he was. Both my children as well as my 3 nieces are extremely close with DH mother. She has always attended their school/sport events. When they were younger (there are 5 grandchilden in all) she would take one child out every Friday night and let them pick where they ate and what they wanted to do. They then spent the night with her. Last Sunday after church my son spent the afternoon with Granny just running errands.
My children are also very close to my parents. I lost my mother 3 years ago but they spent a lot of time with her and she was always at their activities, usually with DH mother. My father and stepmother don't seem to make it to very many of the kids events due to their schedule, but they are very mucha part of their lives. They are a lot better at being grandparents then they were parents. LOL!
What you say about how grandparents should do
My grandchildren are up some size and they could come see me. Do they? No. I did my part in keeping my children close to their grandparents as youngsters but my DIL so wound up in her own family, the paternal side just does not matter. I don't even try anymore.
I'm from KY and my dad and all 4 grandparents used
to eat scrambled pig brains every once in a while for breakfast. They slaughtered their own hogs, so they were available occasionally. That is one thing I never tired. We ate squirrel growing up too. And to this day still love fried country ham and red-eye gravy with homemade biscuits.
Grandparents are not involved much. . sm
It's funny you should ask this question today. My mom, who lives 90 minutes away, came for a visit. We haven't seen her in about 4 months. My 2-year-old didn't know who the heck she was and was scared of her for the first day she was here. We only see her 3 to 4 times a year. I wish we could see her more. My dad died when my oldest was one. He had never even met him.
My husband's parents have little to do with the kids. They live 20 minutes away, and we hardly see them. It really hurts because they always have my SIL's kids. They are the same age as my kids and spend almost every weekend at their house. During the summer, they spend even more time with them. After a couple of years of this, I finally asked them why they don't ever have my kids over. They said they will try to spend more time with them. Last summer, they invited the oldest to spend one night, and the SIL's kids were there. I am giving up. Sorry this got so long. I am really sad about this right now.
Are your grandparents your father's parents?
If so, maybe they are angry that you named baby after step-dad instead of their son. They expect you to be loyal to your Dad but not your stepdad who I would assume was in your life as much as your real Dad if not more. Families can be such selfish hypocrites. Where is their loyalty to you and their gratefulness to a man who probably helped raise you. I would cut them off in a New York minute. If you have children and a sister, you have family. Take care.
Is giving grandparents a scrapbook
I think it would be, but decided to get opinions. Thank you in advance.
No kids here, but I grew up w/grandparents.
They actually lived in our childhood home with us. Our mother was a single parent trying to get off welfare back in the 60s...going to night school to become an LPN and rearin' the 5 of us during the day. I have no doubt her parents saved her tuckas by doing all they did for her (and us!) back then. I have nothing but incredibly fond memories and miss them all immensely.
There's something to be said for families that pull together like that when times are tough, or even not so tough. Some days I regret not having one of my own, but I'm just waaaay too selfish and I know I'd make a horrible parent. Plus, I have no social support at all and I would be 100% on my own...certainly not the ideal way to raise a kid or two.
Fantastic assets grandparents can be...so long as they're not criminals or anything.
Grandparents are Heaven on Earth
I have no kids so can only give you a viewpoint of how my grandparents shaped my life. I grew up very close (personally) to my grandparents (grandma was my second mom). My grandparents (moms side) lived up the road from us (about a 5 min walk with an open field between us). In the mornings we would walk outside and if she was out we would yell "hello up there" and grandma would yell back "hello down there". She took care of my sister and I during the day while mom worked. We went everywhere with her every day (hairdresser, butcher, stores, errands, church activities, her friends house, etc). She taught us how to whistle with a blade of grass, play "here is the church & here is the steeple, open the doors and see all the people" with our hands. We ate every Sunday supper with them and then she and grandpa moved the living room furniture and taught us how to polka to Lawrence Welk. We also ate there often during the week. Once a week we would spend the night at their house. Grandpa had a lawnmower repair and sales business but anytime I was having trouble in school, he would come in and after supper sit down and help me (mostly with math), but he didn't even think twice about not helping. He was the most unselfish person in the whole world. When I was feeling down about my grade on a report card or test (I was a C & D student, occasionally a B and very rare an A) he would ask me if I did the best that I could and I said I tried really hard but I just didn't understand. He told me as long as I tried the hardest I could he was proud of me. We grew up in the country and g'ma taught us about wild flowers, quilting, and other country type stuff. During the winter we would have sled parties at her house for my girl scout troop and she would bring out hot cocoa with mini marshmallows. Just a couple years ago my best childhood friend was telling me she had just been thinking about that sled party and my grandma bringing us the hot cocoa, and I just have so many wonderful life memories the list would go on and on. She died when I was 16 (30 years ago), grandpa died a few years ago. I miss them so much it still hurts. My dad's grandparents lived 15 minutes from us and we spent every Sunday afternoon with them and when I was old enough to drive I would go up on my own during the weekdays and sit at the table and talk and talk with grandma for hours. I miss them both so much too. I think grandparents are the most wonderful gift a child could have. I was blessed to have mine live so close to us. They spoiled us rotten and we loved it!
Oh how I dream of being young again and having my grandparents to talk to. I'm now 48 and live alone with husband. All my grandparents and mom are gone, dad lives across the country and I see him once every 3 years. I sure do miss them all. I hope all kids have a chance to be close to their grandparents the way I was.
My mom (when she was alive) and dad all have fond memories of their parents (they both told me they had the best parents anywhere).
So the only way I can sum it up is that "Grandparents are Heaven on Earth".
kids visiting grandparents over the
you choose to not work nights so you could have time for you? LOL.... does anyone else see the craziness in this?
Bringing my issue with grandparents and cousins to the top
I am sorry, I got myself out of town for the weekend to get away. I am still at a loss. I have tried contacting my grandparents numerous times to no avail. I emailed my sister, and she talked to my grandmother who said she has simply "missed my calls." Thank you all for letting me vent Friday and giving me opinions. I will not stoop to their level. Also, to the poster who asked why I think the baby's name had to do with it, it is because she kept saying, "Figure it out, Daddy's girl" and because when I asked if that was it, she said, "What baby, did I say something about a baby" and "aren't you a little Einstein."
Thanks again all!
I might add that grandparents on paternal side are deceased so
only ones around are mine but that doesn't seem to matter to them.
My grandparents swore by it for LOTS of things
xx
I used to give my grandparents gift certificates to the local grocery store, sm
they would use them to buy special things like shrimp or other things that might cost a bit more that they wouldn't normaly buy for themselves. My parents are that age and I have given them restaurant gift certificates or if they have family out of town, prepaid phone cards, because I know some folks that age don't like paying for long distance calls.
I do live in Arkansas - my parents live up in Branson so I'm in Missouri quite often!
x
Calling all you animal lovers - live and let live or intervene? - sm
I have a dilemma. I am an animal lover and have something I cannot come to a conclusion about. At a restaurant where I eat lunch every Friday with a friend of mine, I have noticed a young male kitty hanging around outside looking for food. This past week he ran up to my friend and rubbed her legs and quietly meowed. I purposely did not try to pet him because I knew I would get attached and ignored him. Well, ever since then I find myself thinking about him and wanting to rescue him. Meanwhile, I already have 4 inside cats (2 rescues, 2 Maine Coons) and hubby really does not want another cat in the house because a few years ago I promised we would never have more than 4 (had up to 5 at one point previously). I actually have a huge screened deck he could stay on indefinitely because I do not believe in letting cats run loose for their own safety. I could provide plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, and veterinary care. At some point I would even probably work him into our household, but I just cannot do it at the moment. Just not sure I would be doing right by that kitty because I am sure he would be upset and confused for a good while as to where he was and what was going on, but is that better than being hungry and cold? I know there are lots of animal lovers out there. What does everyone think?? 
I'm a live-and-let-live person but had to draw the line
after I found HUGE holes in the walkway between my house and barn. I thought they were just little mice stealing grain, but then I spotted one and it was a HONKIN RAT! My poor olderly cat was out there with me at the time and saw it, and he hissed at it and ran away!
I asked for advice on what to do at a local agricultural board, because I have other animals and didn't want to use poison and conventional traps weren't working. They advised putting a large pale of water out with some seeds floating in it, figuring the rats would go for the seeds and end up drowning. That was a no-go because the water just froze up solid. I wound up reluctantly going with Decon because I just can't have my house destroyed. I haven't had seen any more rats or evidence of them stealing grain, so I'm guessing they have died. The guy at the grain store promised me the rats would not die in the building and stink the joint up, rather they would crawl off and die outside. I don't know if I believe that, as it is still winter here and decomposition would be holding off until it warms up. We'll see, but at least the destruction has been halted.
Good luck and I too say have no mercy, because you just don't need them destroying hour house or causing a spark chewing wires and burnin' the place down. It is war!
 (How un-PC is this emoticon?!)
Make them live outside? This is so funny! Ours live outside, where they WANT to be. sm
Not all dogs want to be in "indoor" dogs, mind you. They have plenty of space to run around and play, fenced, and if they are brought in during bad weather they whine at the back door to go back out! So before you comment on outside dogs, you really need to get your facts straight. Seriously. Not all dogs are made or want to be inside all of the time.
Where do you live?? I live in Atlanta
and have been to the symphony here and definitely no hats- you can never go wrong with black dress/slacks. I like to dress a little more for this but the rules are definitely not prim and proper here.
I come from the old school, but live and let live - sm
Well, I tried "cohabitating" with a boyfriend when I was 22. We dated for a year, and 3 weeks after we moved in together, he went back to his ex-wife. Never again. I've been married 18 years now to the same guy. Guess I lucked out.
I don't think it's right to do in a biblical sense (even felt that way when I moved in with a guy but my young hormones took over my common sense) but it's sad more people aren't married, they choose to just live together without a great commitment. Then again, as my atty (he lives at the end of our street so I see him often when walking the dogs) always says, his father told him it should be $5,000 for a marriage license and free to get divorced.
As far as the children are concerned, well, I think you should be married before you have children but again, live and let live. I just don't like seeing children have to grow up without the other parent if it can be helped.
The NFL network recently interviewed a former NFL player, Warren Sapp. He was asked why we have so many jerks in the NFL like Terrell Owens, Adam Pacman Jones, etc. He said they all shared a common factor - no father or father figure in their lives growing up. He said to look at players who are humble and don't cause trouble - they are the product of a 2 parent household. It's sad to me because it's commonplace now, not the exception to rule, which I think it should be. I graduated high school in 1985 and even back then, a girl in school who got pregnant got sent away "to live with her aunt for a little while". It was a shame to be pregnant and unmarried but it's a sign of the times.
I sometimes wish I could have grown up in the 50s instead of 70s. :-)
You have? Where do you live??? lol
x
that would be everywhere, not just where I live. nm
nm
don't know where U live but where I live the 80+ y/o.
I know plenty of 80+ y/o people where I live (and I'm 25 years behind them...kinda sorta)....who are MORE active than many I know much younger. I see them going to the airports to jaunt around Paris/Spain, or just several times a year flying cross country to spend holidays with families, etc, etc. So if you see 80+ as *old* or *very old* - think again. It's an individual basis kind of thing, in my mind - OH AND BY THE WAY, none of the people I speak of have had plastic surgery of any kind and look FABULOUS!.........GOD BLESS 'EM!!!! Good genes - genetics - 
I you live in the
Pittsburgh area I know where you can find someone. Elsewhere..no clue. It is an avenue worth pursuing though.
How can you live with him?!
Honestly, you say you can't live without him, but yet he is mean and horrible! And think of what this is doing to your kids while you stay! The effects of living with an alcoholic may not be so apparent on the outside of your children, but believe my they are hurting! Been there, done that!
Advice: Get out now for you and the sake of your kids. My father was an alcoholic and still is to this day. After 15 years of marriage to him, my mother finally left and took us kids. Best thing she could have done for herself and for us! It was rough at first, but looking back I am glad she did it. She proved to me she was a strong woman and what a great example that you did not have to put up with the abuse from another person. My brother and I to this day have minimal communication with him. Well, at least I do. My brother has written him off!
Resources: A good lawyer and counseling for you and your kids.
I wish you all the best!
Not sure where you live........but
You're wrong. In this state, the teachers are not that well compensated, just the administration. THey do pay out of pocket for resources that they have put in for and supposed to have available that is determined by the school system, but supplies have not come in and they have to go out with their own money and order this stuff. They don't get answers from adminstration but still have to make sure they have the supplies ordered by the school system to teach the kids. The amount of work they do here is from 7 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon....no, they cannot leave when they want to. Most work all summer, either tutoring or summer school, or find summer jobs elsewhere just to make ends meet. I suppose it depends on the state one lives in, but here no teacher is retiring with 80K a year pension.
Others ought to live by this
My mother told us sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you. To try getting back at something so minute is the reason today why people are in such a rage. Another thing she told me- consider the source. Enough said.
I also live in AL - try these -
Caladiums and hostas would do really well for leaf color. Bleeding heart is so pretty as well! Happy planting! :-)
Who'd want to live there? Yuk.
nm
Do you live so far out in the
sticks you don’t have people called BABYSITTERS? Glad you had such a good time.
I live in MID TN too.
Has been a mess with the heat and humidity!!!!
I don't see it here where I live
Unless it's being hidden, all my friends have been married for years with no cheating issues. I don't know of any divorced couples in my circle of friends and/or acquaintenances. My parents have been married close to 50 years and I've been married for 16, no cheating here. Not saying it doesn't happen, because I certaily know that it does, but it's just not that way here.(Again, maybe it's hidden or maybe I do live in that bubble).
Can she come live with me
I'd love it if someone else did my laundry. To me she's just being a grandmother, but then again, I'm not there and can't see everything she does. I'd be happy she was so involved and that your daughter has a grandmother. So many of my daughter's friends don't.
Where do you live?
Hayseed where do you live? I'm in St. George Utah and it is the desert here but it is starting to cool down finally! Been over 110 all summer!
Where are you?
No, where I live we have them here
it is a cross between a bear and a deer- so it is a beer. And to think, I don’t even drink. That is a HAHA for today.
I live in
North Georgia and I have a huge medical center all around me with loads of physicians.
Ha, yes, I live in the
middle of nowhere in North Texas! I don't even know our population, but it's small! Maybe a more than 400, though, but not much! I have only been to 2 WOF also. I can't pick a favorite either and they are akk good. I didn't go this year, but when I went last year, I got to take my 80-year-old mom with me. We had a great time together-have really never done anything togather like that my whole life. It was great. Me, my mom, my best friend and her mom all went with our church. I'm actually off this weekend! Have a good day.
You must live near me
Because that is going around in my area.
Live in FL too
I miss the snow, change in seasons, bugs that don't attack when you step outside! When it even gets a little cool here, I am in Heaven. Tonight the temps will dip into the 40s. I am originally from Chicago, grew up in Maryland, but have been in FL for almost 20 years now, and I still yearn for the North, although I have two children there and two down here. I also cannot afford to go to Disneyland in Orlando because they recently raised the prices again, but have done that once, among other things. I think it is great you have such a wonderful house with a pool. The humidity here in the summer months is horrible!! You just wilt when you walk outside. Those people I know from up North envy where I live, but trust me it's not all it is advertised to be. Just would love some snowballs for Christmas:)
I am with you! I live in Fla and see it a lot.
Bugs me every time.
So they all 4 live there?
Why then do you only refer to *her*? It's both the husband's and the wife's responsibility to pay the bills...are you on his back also?
Where do you live?
NM
I know what you mean. I live in
Louisville and the 2 weeks before Derby is nothing but parties. If you don't live in an area with things like that going on for more than a day you don't understand. Don't get to do as much as I used to.
Hi, I live here -- sm
Are you moving to the beach? I have been here for 20+ years, be glad to share any information I might have to make your transition easier. You can email me if you would like.. welcome to the sunny seashore that is Myrtle Beach!!
I don't live very far from this.
It has been watched for some time. We are just happy it did not turn out to be another Waco.
Some of the resturant owners are surprised that most of them did not know what steakfingers are. lol. They grew their own food.
You must live near me - nm
nm
WHAT where do you live!?
let's trade LOL
If you could live anywhere...where would it be?
Some day I hope to move to Hawaii. I figure I won't have to travel a lot of see family cause everyone will want to come stay with me! One day I just want to pick up and go...sell most off my belongings and just start over.
Always thought Las Vegas would be a fun place to live, but I think it would get tiring and old after a while.
I live in MI ... 13,000?!
Where in Michigan did you find a house for 13,000? Is it a mobile home?
I don't think the cost of living is especially great here ether (in comparison to the wages earned).
Curious what part of Michigan and what type of house.?
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