How do you decide to have a baby?
Posted By: feeling selfish on 2008-12-26
In Reply to:
This is different for EVERYONE I'm sure, but in general, if any of you are mothers... did you decide the time was right, did it just happen... did you plan?
I've been told if you wait until you can afford to have children, you'll never have them...
The predicament is this. my future husband is ready to have a baby now. He wants to be a father, and as much as this makes me fall in love with him all over again, I joked with him that his biological clock was ticking and he said in all seriousness, that he guesses it is. However, mine is not. Not now. Will this happen to me? Does it happen to every woman at some point? We are in our late 20s, but I am just asking in general, how do you compromise on something as big as having a baby? I do want a family and children, but I guess I'm just looking for people's stories on this one... Thank you!
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How do you decide to have a baby?
This is different for EVERYONE I'm sure, but in general, if any of you are mothers... did you decide the time was right, did it just happen... did you plan?
I've been told if you wait until you can afford to have children, you'll never have them...
The predicament is this. my future husband is ready to have a baby now (when i say now, we would wait until after marriage). He wants to be a father, and as much as this makes me fall in love with him all over again, I joked with him that his biological clock was ticking and he said in all seriousness, that he guesses it is. However, mine is not. Not now. Will this happen to me? Does it happen to every woman at some point? We are in our late 20s, but I am just asking in general, how do you compromise on something as big as having a baby? I do want a family and children, but I guess I'm just looking for people's stories on this one... Thank you!
Changes of a Down syndrome baby go up with age, though. You'll need to decide if an amnio & its
s
Maybe if she sees the baby, she'll decide not to have it sucked out of her and thrown away like t
x
Let us know what you decide - nm
nm
I think you should tell them and let them decide what they want to do.
My husband died six months ago suddenly and unexpectedly. My niece, who just turned 12, has always been extremely close to my husband and me, and spends a lot of time at our house. LIke your children, she had never experienced death in a close relative before. The day he died, my brother and sister-in-law picked her up from school and broke the news to her. She was sad of course and she cried for quite a while.
Her parents gave her the choice of what she wanted to do in regards to go to the funeral home and/or attend the funeral. She chose to come to the funeral home and sit with me, and to attend the funeral.
She later wrote on the subject when the class had to write an essay at school about a life altering event. She wrote about how much she loved her uncle and she felt that was her last chance to say goodbye, as she didn't get to say goodbye before he died. She was sad that he died suddenly and she didn't know ahead of time, and that seemed to hurt her a lot, even though nothing could change that.
As for me, her presence at that time made me feel a little better. My husband's death has made she and I even closer. She's very smart and mature for her age. She knows sometimes when I get a little sad, that I'm thinking of my husband, and she totally understands, cause she still misses him too.
I know this is kind of rambling, but I hope it makes sense. I think kids want to be a part of our experiences, the good and the bad, and I think to exclude them, even when you think you're protecting them, makes them feel left out.
Good luck to you and your family. My prayers are with you.
So then why take any drugs at all? Or why not let's just decide which
x
Couldn't decide whether to
laugh or vomit with that story!
if you decide to give
my suggestion would be to get something bigger than 0-3 months. they go through that stage so quickly and lots of people give that size.
Easy for men to decide
Some guys are good dads - willing to pitch in and help take care of the child's needs, and give it plenty of time and attention.
There are quite a few guys out there that like the IDEA of a child - as long as it doesn't cramp their style. This means it all devolves upon the mother - care of the child 24/7, criticism from him and his family if you aren't doing it their way, but of course any bragging rights are all theirs.
Then there are the demands of academia - when your child gets sent home with a backpack full of paperwork to review on a nightly basis, whose job will that be?
Another thought is the possibility of divorce down the road - what happens then? Quite a few dads who let mom do all the work suddenly become superdad when the thought of child support comes along, and they will do anything to win custody so that YOU have to pay THEM. Even if you win custody, the head games with visitation schedules, daddy's new girlfriend pushing her way into the picture, etc. never end.
Be careful. Having a baby to stroke a man's ego can get very messy very fast. Its a huge responsibility and too often the mother does all the work and the father takes all the credit. Take the worst case scenarios into consideration before you decide.
So who gets to decide what is illegal and what is not? You? sm
That's a slippery slope. Like the poster below who wants sugar taxes - actually that's not a bad idea since sugary drinks and snacks are making our kids fat. Let's see - then we should tax fast food or control the amount that fatties can eat, right?
Where does it end?
Still trying to decide whether to have a hysterectomy. See message
I posted last week about my dilema about whether to have a hysterectomy or not after my left ovarian cyst (which was removed along with ovary) came back with a pathology report stating papillary serous tumor, borderline. Doctor says I should have hysterectomy for "insurance" and preventative measures. However, according to their group discussion, my tumor was borderline, but "more on the benign side". I am so confused. I'm 42 and I don't want to have a hysterectomy, but yet, I don't want to have a problem with cancer either. I have the option to follow every six months. Is this safe? Am I better off getting a hysterectomy? I just don't know what to do!!!!
So even animals help decide our fate???
Where did you read this or learn about this? I've never heard that animals will speak for or against us on judgement day...interesting. Guess I'm in the clear, I don't do animals, don't own them, don't abuse them, don't like 'em!
Be careful if you decide to wean
and hand feed with formula and syringe. Don't know about your type of birds, but I have a parrot that I hand fed with a syringe and the breeders instructed me and watched me do it myself to be sure I was doing it correctly before they let me take him home. Apparently you can kill them if it goes down the wrong way, but it was really easy feeding him. Maybe there's somebody in your area who is a bird expert you could talk to?
I re-read, so you do live together - you have to decide if he is (sm)
going to function as a dad or not, and if so, you need to BOTH be involved in decisions, not just him. If he is not going to function as dad, he should not be involved in conferences at all.
Mercy is for God to decide - she should rot where she lays
I posted below - but have more to say. She needs to rot where she lies. That may sound harsh but I have no compassion for her and anyone else involved in those horrendous crimes they committed. "Charles Mansion brainwashed me" or whatever it is she claims. Oh brother - let me get my violin out. She knew what she was doing. You would think at some point while she is in the act of doing the horrendous things she did she would think somewhere in her pea brain - wait a minute, this is not right, and she could have easily sneaked out or called the police or something. I lived across the whole country (east coast) and still felt the horror that happened to them. It was hard growing up knowing that those pieces of garbage were out there and it could have happened to any of us just as easily. They just happened upon that house. I had nightmares because of it. Between that and the Hillside strangler and all the other creeps out there, it was hard not to have nightmares. She committed the crimes and she needs to do her time. She had no mercy for Sharon Tate and her unborn child and she so much as said so. Why she would think the court should have mercy on her. Brain tumor? Good and I hope its a very painful death for her. I always say do unto others. If she committed torture, then she should be tortured. The only one she should be asked Mercy for is from God. Maybe she should contact Roman Polanski and ask him if he thinks she should be let out early. "I would like to be out one day" Give me a break! I'm sure Sharon Tate and the other people would have liked to live. They should tell her and her family that they have no right in asking to be let out. I don't care if she can't sit up in bed. That is her problem. In fact I think they should post all the crime scene photos in her cell and let her look at those day after day and say until she dies and tell her this is why you are not being let out. Besides, if she has brain cancer who knows what she will be thinking as it progresses. Well I'm glad she's "not the same person than when she went in". But then again that's what all the prisoners say too. She did the crime - do the time (and I hope she suffers. I have no tolerance for what she did).
Is that good? I can't decide whether this would be tasty or not? nm
.
Well in my mind lust is when you decide
to give in to something and enjoy it, which I have not and will not do in this case.
The puzzlement for me is how the attraction comes out of nowhere like that, and of course this time when it happened it is more troubling because he is so young. It must be pheromones. I think that's the best explanation.
Yep, some oldies decide on invitro
to have kids but I don’t want to have a kid in college just when I would like to retire. I see advanced maternal age listed all the time when the mother is only 34 or so, so wonder what category 41 falls under. Too many birth defects possible as the mother ages. Others can have their kids if they want at past 50, just not my cup of tea.
funny thing about when you decide to give up...
on men/relationships...That is when the right one comes along! That's how it happened for me. I, like you, had decided I was done with men, too many bad experiences, and then I met THE right guy for me. That was almost 11 years ago and we have been married for 7-1/2 years. We have a happy marriage and a beautiful little 15-month-old girl. It's when you stop looking that the right one comes along!
The most important thing, though, is to trust your instincts. They will never steer you wrong. From your description, it sounds like a good thing, but if there is a doubt that nags at you, don't dismiss it. Just don't let prior bad relationships cloud your judgment, because they are all different.
when u decide on a city, suggest contacting....
I'd call the Chamber(s) of Commerce of whatever city you decide to stay in and ask them the condition(s) of the area(s) post-Katrina.....just my opinion.
Have fun on vacation!!! :)
I just don't see why any parent would just allow a child decide to move out
It makes no sense to me. He is 16 years old and still a child. I guess I just don't understand how you have no problem with him deciding to move out and not even try to do anything about it other than take his house key. It sounds as though this 16-year old is running the show here. The whole thing is very disturbing to me.
Hi, Kelly, in case you decide to use Rogaine,
please check with your doctor first because of your thyroid issue!
DH not happy = his prob. Let him leave or stay or decide
d
I'm 36, married 5 years, and still can't decide. I wish I had an answer for ya. But you're
x
stick to your guns and let the bride and groom decide who they would like at the wedding(sm)
Twenty years ago there were 150 people at my wedding. I knew MAYBE 20 of them. My parents INSISTED on inviting every single long-distance cousin and relative, most of whom I (and certainly my husband) did not know and had never met. Granted, MA and Dad were paying for the wedding but I've always felt like I missed out on having MY wedding because, in order to stay within their budget, I only invited about five or ten friends. And my husband and his parents felt like they COULDN'T invite anyone because of the budget restraints and my parents' guest list. We ended up with about 20 people on my husband's side of the church (basically his immediate family), three of his friends, five of mine, and the rest were mostly my distant, DISTANT unknown relatives (with a few close relatives scattered among the many distants). I look back now and wish that I had taken better charge of the situation. It certainly would have cost my parents less money because I wasn't going to invite that many people.
How old is your child/children and when did you decide he wasn't worth the effort? nm
!
New baby on the way.
Congratulations!!!!!! Hope you have a beautiful, healthy baby. I lost my first baby and it was 4 years before I tried again. I also think about the baby I lost, I don't think that ever goes away. I am proud to have two girls now to enjoy. Take pleasure in each moment. Enjoy!
I just want him to baby me
I am a female have been married to my husband for a year and 7 months, (no kids yet) and ever since I have been married I feel like I am babying him. I am more affectionate to him, I always want to cuddle with him, always worried about him and feel like I don't want to lose him. we have a great relationship open and honost. But sometimes I want him to run after me, to show me affection, to take care of me to feel like he is scared to lose me. I want him to tell me that I wanna go out with you with out any friends just the both of us, I just want him to baby me like I baby him. what do I do? trust me I have tried talking to him, but you see I don't want to tell him these things I want him to do it on his own. I go to school 2 times a week in the evenings and I always have to beg him to pick me up from school, I want him to tell me that he wants to pick me up. how do I go about? please help.
The baby's name is
Dannylynn Hope Marshall Stern. I think the move to Bahamas was Stern's idea and I think he is sly like a fox, i.e. the main players mother and son out of the way and now the baby who he is laying claim to with the name of Marshall in there (deceased husband's name). If you are the real father, you would demand to have paternity testing- we all know this is something he has tried (unsuccessfully thank goodness) to stop. The courts supposedly giving DNA results this past Tuesday but nothing yet. It would be a big shocker if the husband who died (Marshall) turned out to be the really father, wouldn't it? Can we say invitro?
My baby Fox isn't doing well.
He hasn't felt well for several days, but it seemed that every time we decided okay, we definitely need to take him to the vet, he would improve a little.
But today my son was getting ready to leave the house and Fox usually runs after him, barking, to try to get him not to leave. Fox started barking, but he couldn't get up. He was on the carpet, not the wood or the tile. He just could not get up.
So I took him to the vet and she examined him. He has arthritis in both his knees because of the surgery he had when he was younger (for patellar luxation). We found out a few months ago that his right shoulder is luxating in the same way that his kneecaps did.
Now his left shoulder is also luxating.
He's such a little stoic it is hard to tell exactly how much pain he is in. The vet gave him a prescription for a fentanyl patch. My husband should be home in a few minutes so he can help me put the patch on. The vet shaved a place on his back for it but she said to hold it in place for 2-3 minutes so that it adheres properly.
The vet said the pain reliever might make him feel so much better that he would be running and jumping around and injuring himself worse. If he feels well, the only way we can keep him from running around is to crate him.
I don't know what to do. I don't want him to hurt. I don't want to shut him up in a crate. He would go nuts - he is used to being very active.
I don't want to keep him alive and miserable for my own selfish reasons - that I can't bear to part with him. But I also don't want to decide too soon that his quality of life is unacceptable.
I don't know what to do.
Baby sm
First of all, congratulations! You are about to experience the greatest gift on earth. I was not heavy but had a friend who was. Mind you, this was way back, as I am older, but I was surprised that she actually went on a very healthy diet which was good for the baby, and actually lost a few pounds. Check with your docs, but perhaps this will be a great incentive for you. Be positive, it will all be good! Best of everything to you and your baby.
Baby's bpm.
Hello. I just had my first real appointment at 12 weeks today and the doctor, i believe, told me the heart rate was 114. I've been trying to do some research on this but the more time i spend on the computer the more worried i'm getting. I've been reading a lot of women saying they lost their babies. The rate was much lower and around 5-6 weeks but i'm still scared. If anybody has info. about this or knows a thing or two i'd really appreciate it until i can call the doctor tomorrow. Thanks so much. =)
My baby
Buster is unfortunately not a puppy anymore. He will be 14 in January. He has some arthritis in his back legs and has what we think are TIAs occasionally, but he still runs and plays like a puppy when he gets a new toy.
Maybe you could rig that baby to
heat the house! 
Baby? lol
He looks like a big baby! lol How cute, looks like he poses for pictures often. I would definitely have that one in a frame with that beautiful smile! :)
Sorry about your baby...
Losing a pet is like losing a member of the family. We lost our beloved 9-year-old black lab 4 years ago, the week of Christmas. I had to take him to the vet because out of the blue he had an episode, that he just lied there and wouldn't respond. I thought he was dead then. He came to and I took him to the vet. She couldn't find anything wrong with him, took some blood for testing. He died the next day. It broke all of our hearts and when I saw my husband cry (I had never seen him cry before in 13 years of being together), it made the hurt that much worse.
Hopefully someone will come up with 8 baby
te
baby
Congrats!!
If your income isnt too much you can always get medicaid and wic (not health insurance but helps out with food and formula)
right age for a baby?
For those of you who are planning to have kids, what is the "right" age to conceive? Of course everybody will have a different right time, but I'm just curious about other people's time lines.
What about Sun-In (to go along with the baby oil)...
and, more importantly, drive-in theaters - my boyfriend and I used to go to the drive-in almost every weekend in the late 70s/early 80s!! I wish they would bring the drive-in back.
some relief for your baby...
Try hemorrhoid cream to the blisters...I swear it will significantly decrease the itching. My daughter was around 4 when she got the chicken pox and I put Preparation-H on her blisters and kept it on them and she barely noticed them. Please try this, it honestly will help! Good Luck...and BTW, sounds like the doctor isn't the only one that is a jerk!!!  ---to your "husband"...
Poor baby!
I hope you can figure out what's going on with her.
A note on my baby
I left a message on the board about how my babies F/L was measured short and the doctor told me the baby probably had down syndrome. Well, I went to see a specialist who was very upset with the previous doctor and he did a level II ultrasound and my baby is perfect and normal. They do not measure the F/L for down syndrome. They measure the humerus bone. Anyway to make a long story short-----thanks to all who responded !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and the baby has very long legs......
2 is NOT a baby! It's a toddler and IMO too old...
to be breastfeeding! That's disgusting for a child that old and YES I would be offended and grossed out to see a mom breastfeeding a 22 month old! I have absolutely no problem with moms breastfeeding BABIES in public, but not a toddler.
Thanks for that tip on Baby Alive!
I was wondering such! My daughter's birthday is in two weeks, and guess what she's asking for? More food and diapers for Baby Alive! Poor Baby Alive, she hasn't been fed since the day after Christmas! She'll be so happy when birthday time comes!
Baby Alive
You bet!!! My 5-year-old loves Baby Alive. We are on our second extra package of food (10 pack). The cost of diapers was getting crazy so I gave it a shot. You have to adjust the pretty tightly but $7.00 for 40 diapers is so much better than $4.88 for 6! I am wondering if you can used baking soda and water for food? Good Luck!
My Mom got my Baby Alive from
a yard sale, but I loved her anyway! I could only play with her in the backyard on the picnic table, or maybe I just chose to do so??? lol Anyhow, we had great times and I'll never forget her, ever! 
Baby Alive
Me too! I will be 40 next September. Wonder what became of my original? 
I'm not going to breastfeed my baby...sm
by choice. I want my husband, other kids and family members to share in the joy of bonding with the baby by bottle feeding at times and have no desire to be pumping my breasts. Our pediatrician leaves it up to the mother to decide whether or not to breastfeed, which is the way it should be. I've known plenty of kids who were bottle fed that turned out just fine.
Anna's Baby
Yes! Yes! Yes! The baby should be with the real father now.
TrimSpa Baby!!
Great for the heart...
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