How about good ideas for upcoming marriage
Posted By: Lacy on 2008-08-20
In Reply to:
Any good ideas for someone getting married in the next year or so? A second marriage and not planning to have much of a ceremony. (Where, what to wear, etc.)
Thanks for any ideas. 
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Sounds like you have a good marriage....
and have not had the chance to experience being alone. I also would never get married again as I love living alone, comfortable in my own skin and do not need anyone to make my life "whole".
I also think it is older women who feel this way. I think when you hit your 40's, you find yourself and realize your wants and needs that make you happy. You are not constantly making other people happy and ignoring yourself.
As for me, I could not imagine living with someone again. It would be an intrusion on my life - a life I love.
You really have no right to say "how sad". You are happily married and I congratulate you. I am happily single as are many other people who do not have to depend on a man or anyone for that matter for their happiness. Happiness comes from within.
You sound like you had a good marriage
That was a sweet statement to make about wishing you had that option. I am so in love with my husband and would hate to think about being without him. I enjoy his company every day. He travels but calls when he is gone. When he is home we share a computer room and he plays around on his computer while I work at mine. He is my best friend as well as my heart. I married him very late in my life after others but intend to keep this one.
Just speaking for my brother, it made him more determined to have a good marriage SM
and is respectful and a wonderful dad and husband. I am proud of him for that. My dad was a good person, and so is my mom. However, together they were oil and water. I affected my sister and myself more than my brothers.
Keep your good ideas to yourself - sm
She obviously admires your taste or she would not copy you to the letter. Just keep it a secret if you can from her what you are bringing to events. Either that or point blank ask her and tell her what you are brining and what does she want to bring? :-)
So many good ideas...sm
You guys gave me even more to think about. Some wonderful tips. At least now I have opinions from someone who has the different kinds of flooring. I'm going to print all the ideas and brainstorm. Thanks a bunch!
good ideas!
and less cleanup which is always a pain without a dishwasher. lol
I wonder if there is a scouting cookbook...there probably is.
I think I will look up under scouts too and i bet that will give some good camping ideas for kids activities too. Thanks!
These are good ideas, but how about
with a piece of turkey, some vegetables for eyes, etc. Maybe they'd think it was silly eating the T-giving day face! Maybe some will say "do not play with your food" but it is a holiday! 
TY TY TY - you came me some more good ideas
Reading your post you have given me some additional ideas of how I might possibly get out of the rut. Will definitely check out the Dr. Dyer site too.
Thanks again.
For Amy, Pinkie is right, some good ideas, keep us posted.
x
Good ideas below, also bento sites (sm)
For variety, if he's at all food adventurous, try bento type meals (Japanese).
Lunch In a Box has a great article on food safety for bentos. Some things you may not have to refrigerate if packed safely. Also Fit & Fresh is a good brand of boxes with custom-fit ice packs to keep stuff cold for 6 hours. Combine that with a thermos with warm food and you've got a good winter meal.
If you find yourself fascinated by bento as I was, Just Bento is another good site for info on it.
Ideas and recipes all sound good...
Now I have to make up my mind which to try tonight! That is a nice dilemma to have.
Good ideas - I was thinking about the books
too.
Running where's your Avatar?? I love that Avatar!!
Good ideas, positive thinking sm
We need more kindness around here. I try to stop and let someone through a line of traffic when everyone else ignores them. Most times I get a wave and a thank you, sometimes just a dirty look, but hey, I tried! Don't have to spend money or do anything spectacular, sometimes just a smile or a "go ahead" in line at the supermarket when they only have a few things and you have a carriage full helps someone out a little. What the heck, does make you feel better as well. Karma. Are you the type who gives people a break (or do you give them the finger)????
got any good vanity plate ideas?
 I have two cars (one antique, one practical). Every year I get personalized license plates for them. I'm just wondering if anyone has any good ideas or seen any in their state that were funny and/or good. Ones I've had in the past include GR8NAKD, PO FOLK, 22TWAIN, IAMSOL8, HAPPIER, IXLR84U, DENT ME, just to name a few. I get two every year, this year's ideas include HASBEEN, USED2BE, NOTHING and 4MER 10. (I guess my frame of mind changes yearly). So, if you have any good ideas, they sure would be appreciated.
Side note, once when I was in San Diego I saw a great big boat being towed down the freeway --- best named boat I ever did see --- It's name was "Dyspareunia." Still makes me laugh to this day. Thanks friends....X
Your upcoming hysterectomy
I agree with the other posters. Best thing I ever did and I, too, was 42. Actually had gallbladder out in April 1998 and hysterectomy in July 1998:( I had everything removed so did not have to worry. I had the vaginal surgery, almost had to have abdominal because of size of uterus. Thank God it went well vaginally. I agree with Janet, I could have gone to work the next day. Felt absolutely GREAT!! What is more, I was working in-house for a clinic and had sick time built up and my doctor was gracious enough to give me 8 weeks off, during the summer have you and.........I was paid for doing it. Good luck!
upcoming holidays
Does anyone get stressed out and/or depressed during the holidays? I am already starting to feel down because of finances and the stress Christmas puts on us to spend spend spend, and also just family issues. I never had a Hallmark family, that's for sure. The whole thing is kind of depressing to me.
thanks, ERMT. i appreciate your good ideas. we are going to do a craft for the parents sm
i want to have a couple of games lined out just in case we have time left over. we are going to have an ice cream party! we had that last year and the kids really liked it. i know it's a little cool out, but what kid wouldn't like ice cream.
thanks again for your ideas!
Not the OP but good ideas, have you tried DiMillo's Floating Restaurant?
Deep fried lobster tails with that sweet dipping sauce and the lazy lobster where they clean and cut it all up for you and serve it floating in butter?!?!?! And my husband loved the lobster rolls they had everywhere. Gotta get back there :)
Also, happy upcoming SOLSTICE!
.
Thank you, good ideas,but after29 years, I guess I am searching for something new..sm
Can the masseuse be a guy???
:-) I'm insecure!
Any exciting plans for the upcoming holiday weekend? nm
That would definitely not be enough for me to consider it a marriage. sm
why do you all think you need some obviously lame guy to complete you? Is it just youth and hormones?
marriage
You are so fortunate. In this day and age, everyone is all about "me". My husband has no CLUE what it means to "work as a team." He simply cannot grasp it at all. He does what he wants to, when he wants to and how he wants to, whenever he wants to. If I ask too many questions he gets angry at me. I am now figuring out 15 years later that I made a pretty big mistake by marrying him. However, we have three beautiful children, and the one thing we do agree on is that they need both parents to raise them. My husband would argue the color of the sky if he was in the mood. He is contrary simply to be contrary. I give up. He gives me the information he thinks I need to have. I don't ask him for anything anymore because he absolutely will not do it (help with getting everything done, i.e., housework, paying bills, makign phone calls, etc.). All of the concerns I had before we got married (which I did bring up to him) have come true. I should have known it. People just DO NOT know how to work together anymore.
marriage
I think we are raising our sons to be "mama's boys" and not be the proper leaders they need to be. Plus, in this day and age of no boundaries, children have no guidance and absolutely no direction. My husband does not have a plan from one minute to the next. It is absolutely crazy. he cannot set a goal and reach it if his life depended on it. We just wait to see what he is going to do next. I honestly never know what he is going to come up with. He absolutely adores his children, and they feel the same. I have seen what divorce does to the children, I will not do that to mine. But sometimes, I just want to scream. Thanks for allowing me to vent. I have asked him to go to counseling, but he doesn't see a need (he has everything he needs). I will teach my children what to look for in a mate and the warning signs. Hopefully they won't have the trouble that I have had.
Marriage
Marriage is a relationship that you have to take care of each other first and always. He should always think about what makes you happy and you the same. You both should be covered at all times. There needs to be ongoing communication so you both can determine what makes things work for you. Most marriages fail because people don't want to talk and would rather "mind read" or assume. You know what they say about assume. You should always treat your spouse like he/or she is the most important person in the world and is first in your life. If you have someone that takes advantage of that and does not appreciate it, then that is not the one for you. Ignorance and immaturity takes kindness for weakness. A mature man or woman knows that that is how they should be treated and how they should treat their mate.
Second marriage
I'm planning to get married for the second time. My last marriage was 17 years ago and I've been on my own with my 14 y.o. son for almost 10 years. For my last wedding I dotted all the I's and crossed all the T's but I was so exhausted I didn't even enjoy the wedding. I think I have a mental block for wedding planning now because I never really thought I'd be doing it again. However, I have zero doubt that I want to be with this man. We both just want to be together and can't decide whether to just go on a trip and get married or have something small with our families and a few close friends. We think it would be nice to have our immediate families help us start our marriage off but I can't seem to make myself think about planning things and picking things out. Mainly I'd just like to wear a pretty dress (not necessarily even a wedding dress and definitely not an elaborate one). It seems if you start planning to have one thing it calls for another. I've looked at some of the wedding checklists and it makes my head hurt to think about picking out cakes, etc. I don't want anything tacky but I don't want to spend a lot of time on details. Any ideas? Also, what are your thoughts on giving your future husband a wedding gift. A do or not? Thanks so much for any advice you have to offer. I don't think we are going to wait long at all so I won't have much time to plan a lot anyway, which suits me just fine.
Second marriage
I live in Eastern North Carolina. There seems to be a lot of placed in Tennessee that look pretty romantic too. I'm browsing through those now.
Second marriage
Lots of great ideas. Thanks so much. I really like the iPod idea.
I think she needs to get out of the marriage - NOW!! (sm)
That could end up being a dangerous situation as well. I have had female friends from this type of cultural background who had to go into hiding from their own brothers to keep from being beaten to death for the crime of dating a white man. She really needs to get out now before they have children.
What is there to think about? Marriage...
is taking a vow.
vow
verb [T]
to make a determined decision or promise to do something, which includes not sleeping with other women and no cheating WHATSOEVER. He broke the Vow.
Marriage is a vow.
Of course I understand that marriage is a vow. Marriage is also a commitment. Problems that seem insurmountable sometimes are not, given time.
Before your marriage, did you or did you not....
Let your DH see you in your wedding gown?
Marriage Help
Am hoping to hear advise from other in my shoes. Been married 18 years and completely and totally unhappy. Husband doesn't beat me, is a good provider, just not in love any longer. Kids involved under age 14. Do I stay or do I go? Trying to stay until kids leave house but very hard - hard to even look at him. He has told me i am average but he love me, has corrected all my mistakes throughout the years, because only he and God are perfect oh but he loves me more than anything! A year ago he wrote me a letter that pointed out all my flaws and could not understand why I wanted him to leave. Please advise. I am so terribly sad and miserable and don't know what to do. State I live in very expensive and would never want to move my kids elsewhere. Hints on staying in an unhappy marriage would be great.
Bad marriage
Hi Done:
I left last September after 30 years. I am happy being on my own even though it means I must work long hours to support myself. My husband and I are separated, not divorced and I took no money from him.
The marriage was not so terribly bad - no physical abuse, very little verbal, but the interesting thing is that my children were way more aware of the underlying unhappiness than I would have imagined. I thought we never really argued - they thought the atmosphere was tense all the time.
I will say that I feel lucky that my youngest child is 17. On the other hand, she chose to stay with her dad (as well as my 21 year old son) and that was/is heartbreaking. But I did not have the right to choose for her. I moved into an apartment across the busy street from where I lived. My children can visit whenever they want.
It seems that my children are actually happier now too. Can you arrange a trial separation? The thing is, nothing has really changed in the situation between my husband and I, and it doesn't seem like it will. We both have an incentive not to make things final with divorce - mine is to keep his good insurance coverage, his is to avoid needing to give me any money.
I feel I had a lot of issues in the marriage due to the incest I suffered as a child and he had issues too. We just were not able to make any progress on this stuff in marriage therapy and neither of us has made any inquiries to each other about the possibility of trying again. And do you really think people can change? I just don't know. I think you have to really want to change. And someone who thinks they are perfect and points our your flaws all the time and tells you that you are "average" is probably not looking to change.
You deserve better for yourself. Just do it on your time and at your convenience. It is possible to stay for a while longer until your children are older. I thought I would wait until my youngest was out of school, but there was one of those "last straw" kinds of episodes last year and that was it.
I wish you the best. But just know that your children are aware of what is going on and do you want them to use your marriage as a model for themselves?
If it's you second marriage and the first one
Didn't workout - then don't spend ANY money on the second one. Save it for the divorce - LMAO 
Before & After Marriage..
Before marriage.....
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.
marriage
Once 39 years and we did not live together before either.
Marriage
I know what you mean about smothering. DH has several guys he works with whose wives won't do anything without their husbands. DH and I have always said we have very little in common except how we feel about each other. He doesn't ask me to get out of our warm bed at 5 a.m. in 20 degree weather to go deer hunting and I don't make him go to the beach with me in the summer and get sand in his shorts. It works perfectly for us. Our 24th anniversary is next month and we have 3 awesome kids. Definitely had our ups and downs but it's all been worth it.
Marriage
Well said. I was just thinking that. My husband just told me I have until the kids get out of school next week to get out. This all started over a milkshake of all things! Why are most men jerks? Looking back I have lost over 20 years of my life for a lot of similar reasons. Friends tell me the same info about God ect. But does God want us to be so unhappy???? That doesn't make sense to me at all!
Marriage
Living with someone is hard work, married or not. My parents have been married 45 years. My sister's marriage lasted just under 3 years. I've never been married but have lived with my SO for 3 years. We would get married if the marriage would be recognized everywhere as a valid marriage.
Sounds like your marriage is over
NM
Not sure what posts are below re marriage
but you sound so very well grounded and truly in love and love your husband and obviously he reciprocates. You are blessed but you also sound like a wonderful person who knows how to compromise when necessary and probably pick your battles - if you even have any!! I am also close to your age and going on 25 years of marriage and watch little things in the marriages of my children and I realize how much I have grown and how truly unimportant some stuff is - but sometimes you just don't see it when you are younger... wisdom definitely come with age!! You are blessed! :))
No, he has a son from a previous marriage, but they have none together. nm
m
OMG you just described my entire marriage..
I am waiting for tax returns and I am OUT OF HERE!! We tried counseling, and for US, it just made it worse. We have 3 children..7, 8, and 10. They are sick of him too and have actually BEGGED me to get us out of this house. I know in my area there are a lot of "programs" to help in these situations and I am hunting them down!! Good luck to you and dont sacrifice your life to be unhappy.
I have a great marriage, and i will tell you what we do
First off, there is no "serving". I am home, so I do all the bills, take care of the kid and cook most of the meals, housework, etc. He takes care of the lawn and brings in a lot more money. He is also very helpful on the weekends. Easy enough.
We are extremely nice to each other, and I spoil him rotten but it goes both ways. The best advice I can give you is to be yourself. We go all out for birthdays, valentine's day, our anniversary and anything else we can find an excuse for.
When there is a problem or something unexpected, we split the responsibility for it or the duties that come with it. Everything is 100% equal. I believe he is the head of household in some ways, but in others, I am. That keeps me from being too much of a pushover and keeps him on the chase.
I have the same questions except it's a second marriage? SM
A friend of mine is getting married for the second time. The first time around it was a huge, and I mean HUGE, affair with an engagement party, bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties, huge Catholic wedding with a huge reception with food and free booze, etc. They registered at Macy's and expected everyone to get their presents from there. There China was over $100 for a place setting!
The couple divorced and now she is getting married again and has sent out invitations to all the festivities. She's planning another huge wedding and she has registered again at Macy's! Now, personally I feel this is just wrong. I think a small tasteful wedding is in order for the second go round and I don't think it is at all necessary to register anywhere for the second wedding. How much China can one person use? I mean, she got almost everything in her divorce!
I'm sort of a down to earth, pratical kind of person so Wal-Mart dishes are fine with me, so I guess maybe I'm not the best person to understand wedding traditions and etiquette, but do I really need to go to Macy's and get another expensive wedding gift?
When I was in bad marriage, I escaped in my SM
work. Whenever he would yell, which would be all the time, I put on my headphones and escaped into my work.
Now divorced, remarried to wonderful man, daughter grown and succesful, beautiful grandchild, wonderful stepchildren, AND I AM DEPRESSED!
I dread work, I dread putting on those headphones.
Group therapy anyone?
Have you tried marriage counseling?
Would your husband be willing to go to counseling? My marriage has been very rocky, and there have been times when my husband and I separated and I really didn't think there was a chance we would get back together. We tried several marriage counselors before we found the one who worked for us. But now - after 27 years - our marriage is finally a happy one, and has been for the last 6-7 years.
But it definitely takes two. If your husband will not go to counseling, then I agree that you should move back closer to your family where you will have the support system you need. Tell your husband he can move this time to be closer to his children.
You can have a great marriage too...
To be miserable. Marriage is work, lots of work, so is parenting, but it takes 2 to get both the jobs done and done right. Talk to your husband, heart to heart, and pray...Good luck!
You know I must be trying to work on this marriage. sm
 I'm about to skip Desperate Housewives and surfing the net to sit next to my hubby who just cooked us up some popcorn so I can watch his favorite movie of all time, "Blazing Saddles." Lord help me.
My marriage must be backwards.
Somehow DH usually gives up watching sports so I'll sit down and watch something with him. So we usually watch my DVR'd garden shows or those shows where they fix up people's houses. Okay, sometimes I watch shows like Smallville with him, but they have to contain a hunk or something for my pleasure too.
Am I doing this marriage thing wrong?
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