Honestly I think I am dealing with both issues with him (sm)
Posted By: OP on 2007-12-30
In Reply to: bull, he was not too drunk he has a girlfriend. See the writing on the wall. nm - Minding your Business
I think he has a girlfriend and a drinking problem
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
And dealing with the kids is piece of cake compared to dealing
jk
Now I know who I'm dealing with
It's terrible that responsibility for a decision like a procedure on an infant would be placed in your hands. Terrible.
Dealing with it on the opposite end...sm
My middle daughter is dealing with weight issues on the skinny end of this issue. Kids are just as cruel when the child is extremely small and skinny. My daughter is going to be 10 in September and weighs in at 45 lbs. She is also very short for her age. She was a premie baby and has just never caught up with her age group. We are trying to add weight to her without stuffing her full of junk. I suggest talking to your pediatrician. They should be able to help you with guidelines and safe ways to encourage healthy eating and weight loss. It just seems kids find anything to pick on...but weight is a big issue even at 10. My daughters best friend is overweight, so the two of them together make quite a pair! They are able to relate to the same hurt they feel when being made fun of, even though one is skinny and one is overweight.
would love to see you dealing with
teenagers. Write a book already! or better yet, let me know the title of the film.
The advice below is not dealing with the issue at
hand - these people popping into your lives uninvited. I can relate - bunch of games designed just to torture you and your kids. I would totally go for the jugular to end this once and for all. The hutzpah of these people to sit in front of you and not talk to you at YOUR kids' Christmas play! Good Lord. I would go to a lawyer, any lawyer, and pay $100 or $200 bucks for a cease-and-desist letter, stating that they are NOT to attend YOUR kids' functions as they are not invited, etc., and are causing irreparable harm to YOUR kids. There will be those who chime in that this is a free world, etc., but its NOT a free world for grandparents to screw with your kids' minds. YOU are the parents and are in charge of your kids' welfare. Its a school, and its PRIVATE in that regard. Any old bum off the street cannot attend when it is AGAINST the wishes of the parents of the children in the play. As Dr. Phil would say, take your power back. Put YOUR foot down as their mom and draw the line forever. Your kids and your husband need you at this point. Go for it. I did years ago, and have never regretted one day WITHOUT my sick inlaws. My kids are in their teens now, and just last night were sitting around talking about the sick games that their grandparents used to play, and how happy they were that we put an end to it. Go for it! Let this be the LAST CHRISTMAS, or last day, ruined by these creeps. And I love the analogy someone gave below - your kids are nothing but Christmas turkeys for them to play with - do NOT fall for the tales of woe and love. Baloney!
wait, we could be dealing with an islamic hubby
 different strokes for different folks, eh? like Muslim husbands and that culture and other cultures that think differently than most Americans do...
My own (ancestral) culture, i.e., how I was raised, insists on 2.8 kids - too bad for most of the family that I was (and still am) such a rebellious renegade...that the sound of the *different drummer* just ALWAYS spoke to me since teenage years louder than other things, and I heard and I listened, and I still do decades and decades later....(thank goodness for this!!).
Ya'll have a GREAT weekend!
Open for suggestions on dealing with a defiant child...sm
Our 3rd grader has been really giving us a hard time this school year with not behaving at home and at school. Some of the defiance is things she's picking up from other kids at school, i.e. talking back, but she's getting into trouble at school more often for not following instructions. So far talking to her, giving her restrictions and setting goals isn't helping turn this around.
So.... for you parents who have dealt with this, what things did you try to get your kid to "get it" on how to behave appropriately?
Honestly, not sure...
He was wrapped up for DH under the tree for Christmas, but not sure where he is right now.
Honestly...
I would pay the $300 and wait for another bill. If one didn't come after 30 days, I would contact the company. I have been through nightmares with companies when I tried to pay something which was different than what I was billed. I'm sure once they post your $300 payment, they will see the balance on your account and bill you for that.
Not exactly the same thing...but last year I moved into a brand new house. At the old house, we had been averaging our natural gas bill, but since this one is new, they have to get a year's worth of records before they can start averaging. When I transferred the account, the person I talked to was aware of that. However, apparently somebody down the line saw that I had been on averaging before and put the new house on averaging, too. The first bill was over $200 - which wouldn't have been so bad except we had it set up on direct debit. Of course I called, they said it would be straightened out, then the next month the bill was over $100 and they took that out of my account, too! It took me three months and phone calls all over the state to get this straightened out and for them to issue a refund check - since the actual amount of my bill over that three-month period was only about $90.
Having been through the wringer with that and with other bills, that is why I am very cautious when it comes to billing errors.
But that's me. 
You honestly believe that??
I'd be 100 bucks those kids would have acted in the same way regardless of how they were approached. They were ticked because they thought they had a right to be there and it takes a sense of maturity to be able to "get it" when you're that age and think you know everything.
Their behavior indicates that they don't have an ounce of maturity in them. How in the world is the OP in the wrong????
Sorry Hay, I honestly luv ya, but can't
laugh at that one. My son was at VA Tech on April 16 and unless you have been there, there is nothing funny about it.
I honestly don't know, but
curiously, there have been reports of migraines lessening after facelifts. go figure.
I honestly don't see why this is a big deal
This is information which is already on file with the government. Every American citizen should have copies of all of this information.
When you hear something like this, always go to snopes.com and check it out. See the link below.
but do you honestly regret...
Having them? That's harsh, IMHO...of course! I'm sorry you don't have a good adult relationship with your children...that's gotta be my worst fear (well, one of them anyway)...God bless
I honestly have no idea on that!
I have never cut my cats nails. They are indoor/outdoor cats and I kinda rely on them to keep the mice population in check around here, so I need their WMDs to be in perfect working order ;-)
It's worth a shot though, right? Might help...I can't honestly say.
Honestly, what I think is you need to move (sm)
I know it sounds drastic but this is your son's wellbeing and future you are talking about. You need to move away from your abusive ridiculous brother-in-law. Your son has no father figure, and his uncle is a big jerk who should be in jail if he slams his kids around. I don't care if you have to rent a crummy apartment somewhere, but I would get my kid the heck out of there and let him know I am 100% on his side and just trying to give him the best future I can because I love him.
Honestly don't even know what Steelers are.
I just had to "Google" it now. Only sports teams I'm mildly familiar with are Red Sox, Bruins, and Patriots. I don't follow sports at all though.
That's a hoax! ha No, honestly, they get along with a few
wrestling matches thrown in!
With all due respect, and I mean that honestly, (sm)
You insinuated that just because one may not communicate every gory and painful detail of his/her past to the spouse, love is missing from the marriage.
Relationships are complicated and I find no problem with someone whose past doesn't interfere with the relationship not communicating it. If the relationship thrives status quo, then that's between them.
Well, I honestly thought that all that was over for me...lol
I have a 25, 22 and 21 year old daughter's and a 3-year-old son. I forgot how expensive and tiring things were. Wow, today I went out with my 21 year old to purchase stuff for my son. It was really crazy. So, I bought water-guns, shades, baseball and bat, crayons and coloring book, jump rope and a water bottle as stuffers. Then I pitched in for dinner. I am really exhausted. Oh, I have 2-grand-daughter's that I purchased a few things for....so, this is the life (slams...still laughing at myself)
I honestly would not even go to her house (sm)
Why subject yourself and your children to her? If your husband wants to go over there, let him go alone. I would just avoid her. I would see her maybe on holidays and such since she raised you, but you really don't even owe her that. I grew up in a rough family...I see them twice a year. Right now I am upset at my mother for some mean things she said about my children last time I saw her. I have yet to mail her mother's day gift from this past May.
I honestly don't have the time....nm
ss
No, honestly I had never heard that before!
The same way someone recently mentioned Queen Latifah is gay - I had no idea! It doesn't matter to me, I just was shocked, that's all. My heart breaks for their loss of their son.
Honestly -- it's none of your business!
.
Honestly, I think teachers should
refer to students, no matter how old they are, by their first name, always.
Just to avoid misundertandings, like this one!
I honestly do not understand the ins and
outs of how her things are set up. I do not know how property is handled, just how her finances are done.
I had one at age 33 and can honestly tell you I am the poster child for it! sm
I did not go the route of hormone therapy, as I really did not want any more medications in my body, but took the more holistic viewpoint of vitamins and such. I have been cancer-free and worry-free for 7 years.
I truly think you have made the right decision and in the long run will be very content with it. My thoughts and prayers are with you, but as posters have told you below, it is so much safer to be proactive than to be sorry and worried all the time.
Hugs to you!!!
I can honestly say that my brother has finally
gotten his act together, well for the most part. He is still a lousy father but in just the past 2 weeks he has been making an effort. I hadn't thought about not having to buy a casket. The last funeral I went to the lady was quite elderly and lived with just her dog. The dog had been quite ill for some time and it was almost like they were just hanging on for each other. After she died they had the dog put to sleep and his ashes were buried with her.
Honestly, it would hurt my feelings...
I've always had a key to my parents' house and if they asked for it back, it would hurt my feelings. It's kinda like saying you're not welcome here. Every time my parents move, they have extra keys made for me and my siblings, and it makes me feel like the door is always open. I live less than a mile away from them, but I make sure to always call before I come over. You might want to explain why you took the key from your son and make sure he didn't take it the wrong way and that he's still welcome to come back just to make sure he's okay with it.
Honestly I have mixed feelings on this.
On one hand...I feel it is your body, you can do what you wish. Who should say what you do with your body. Providing it is willing, agreeing, consenting adults, that should be their choice.
On the other hand...I think some, if not many, who get into prostitution, it is a bad life...they have low self esteem, no respect for themselves...and they are at their lowest and do not know what to do or where to turn. Many times they are so involved with drugs and alcohol, they can not think clearly.
But at the same time...the ones who are "low", are going to do what they can to make money....whether it is prostitution, selling drugs, stealing....illegal or not, they will do it if they are that desperate.
Heck, there are women and men out there selling thier bodies, making good money...or at least money...why not make it legal so you can tax them!
Honestly, the only part my grandmother
taught me was how to chain stitch. Yes, the blankets i'm making are all chain stitching but that makes them VERY warm and wonderful (and I think last longer). I do have someone at work who said they would teach me how to granny square but i'd like to finish up the current blankets before learning a new stitch.
Honestly I don't blame you for macing
the dog if it's owner isn't going to be responsible enough to keep the dog on his/her property. Have you contacted the owner of the dog and complained? My husband is a K9 officer and he gets these calls ALOT and it ain't all pitbull calls, it is just dogs in general roaming around in other people's yard and not on their own property. The mace won't kill a dog, but it sure does hurt really bad and makes the dog think twice about approaching you.
I can honestly say I love where I live
I can't imagine moving. I love my neighbors and the neighborhood. Everyone is friendly, and helpful. There is a lot of activity starting now that it's getting nicer out, and I can't wait for the bonfires and cookouts. The only time I thought about moving, although never would since it wasn't practical was when our best friends moved about 5 miles away. They wanted us to buy a house near theirs.
Not putting you down, but do you honestly believe Danny
xx
I honestly have meant to answer you about 6 times,
but I keep forgetting! Seriously! I have experienced the same thing of late - last year or so, and am in my late 40's. Its very frustrating at times, but I'm trying to joke about it - my kids are great and fill in the blanks for me. I think its natural, at least I hope. I have been thinking of getting that Nintendo DS brain booster thing on TV, but I keep forgetting...
Hmmmm, honestly, if my body looked like that.....
I'd probably post pictures of myself all over the internet too! LOL
I didn't mind either one. I can't honestly say one was worse
than the other.
Trust me..it was not easy.. and it honestly took 4 years..
I went back and forth, I kept trying to leave but was scared, had no where to go, no way to earn a living etc..I would just keep coming back. Then, I did decide to go to school. That pretty much ended it. I got through school leaving through threats and how I "ruined" our lives by going backwards i.e returning to school. He knew that if I had no education, then I was stuck with him for surviving, and I think he knew deep down, I was preparing myself to leave. The second I graduated and got a job, I moved "into town"..well, after stalking me and doing the "if I can't have you, then no one can" crap and being terrified he would kill me..I upped and moved away and filed for divorced. There was no turning back. I moved in with family and he had no idea where that was. Evidently, it calmed down and from that day forward, I did not take his crap. To this day, the man has never found anyone because who wants to live with that alcoholic loser and when he tried to control me after the divorce, I'd tell him to his face to shove off. That was sweet revenge. I had to believe in myself and believe I was worth it.. and I did.. Life is good..I remember him not allowing me to have a credit card, new car or buy anything..not even washclothes..well guess what..this country girl married a millionaire who gives me the world!!!!LOL
honestly, I would risk it and play dumb. sm
I can only say that because this is anonymous. I can't do that in my case because what I have will not go away. However, I think she was haphazardly diagnosed and I would not just accept the consequences of someone else's negligence. I would skip listing that doc and list my prior doc and if it ever came up I would say I didn't know I was diagnosed with it.
Honestly, if I were you, I would hire a real estate agent to help
xx
We would have loved to vacation in Florida. That was our first choice, but quite honestly
the airfare was outrageous. It was actually cheaper for us to fly from our home to Cancun. A lot of the hotels are all-inclusive in Mexico, which obviously makes it more affordable. It's too bad that these resort/vacation destinations in the US are not more affordable to go to and realize that could keep more people here if they did some price deals. I realize too that it's the time of year when they jack their prices up i.e. Spring Break to go to Florida but obviously Cancun is a huge Spring Break destination and we got a really good deal.
I don't believe in sugar coating the truth. I speak plainly and honestly. SM
If that offends some people, I'm sorry. The only mistake I made in my previous post was to make the assumption that the original poster was a Christian and in making that assumption, I posted the passage of scripture from Matthew. I don't know if the OP is a Christian or not. So my post may or may not have been relevant to her.
But going on the assumption that she is a fellow Christian, we (Christians) are taught in Paul's Epistles to admonish one another which is what I was doing. Her focus is on her neighbors. Their reaction is where she is deriving her happiness. If her focus was where it should be, she would never be disappointed.
Lab here with some issues.
We can't figure out what the problem is either. I give her a bath every other day with dog shampoo made from dry skin dogs and that seems to help her the rest of that day and part of the following one.
She must have some serious issues (sm)
Psychologists say that people who take pleasure in running other people down have no self-esteem, are usually unhappy with their lives, and it kind of lifts them up to run someone else down. Maybe we should feel sorry for her. Uh. Maybe tomorrow.
Not sure what his issues are
My son is not very honest. When I had him for my summer visitation this year, he talked about possibly wanting to stay here, but kept changing his mind constantly. Finally he said he wishes he could try living with me for a year and see if he liked it. I told him his dad would never go for that (the ex is now on an SSI disability and is also drawing SSI for my son - so his motives for keeping him there are very financial). My son admits one major thing holding him back is he likes his school and his friends and doesn't want to leave them. Its up to my son to decide when he's had enough and is ready to tell the judge he wants out of there and stick with it. I'm not pressuring him to make a change.
During our epic custody battle, the whole thing started because my son said "get me out of here" and started telling horror stories, which were mostly true, from what I saw firsthand. I made sure he got a CASA (his own court-appointed advocate) so his side would be told to an "impartial" third party. But my son was not honest. He changed his mind and stories constantly and protecting daddy suddenly became a big deal. He recanted everything he told me, my mother, and relatives on his dad's side (seeing his father and other adults naked, physical abuse, drugs/drinking going on, etc.) - either he said it never happened or his memory completely disappeared on issues where I had firsthand knowledge that it was true. When the golden moment came to advise the CASA what his wishes were, suddenly he was quite happy at dad's, and didn't really care which parent he lived with.
This is one reason I have to see something in writing from my son before I grab this hot potato again. I love him, but I cannot trust that he won't make me look like a fool and waste endless time and money to help him, when he does a 180 and wants no help when help arrives. He claims to be disgusted by his father's drug use, but refuses to get him in trouble, even when I assure him I begged the court repeatedly to drug test us both and see the truth and the court declined to touch that issue. He has pondered whether to play hardball with his dad and give an ultimatum that if he doesn't get off drugs he'll come live with me - this shows me at this time he still wants to be there or he would gladly walk away.
Other issues?
Most, if not all, of someone's "other psych issues" with their gender identity comes from society's attitude toward it. Once they have completely transitioned, most of those issues go away.
"Psych issues" usually include -
being forced into an uncomfortable gender by an accident of birth and told they can do nothing about it
being treated like a monster by family and friends who can't accept that they need to change
being treated like a pariah and a target by perfect strangers who think its OK to abuse them any way they please, up to and including murder
finding it nearly impossible to find romance, because few are open minded enough to deal with this personally, given a choice
very messy situations in the workforce while trying to transition - mainly caused by coworker's opinions and attitudes
people in general who refuse to see the person but only see the gender issue, and judge the person automatically without educating themselves on the condition at all
My son, who is in the process of becoming my daughter, passes so well as "female" that unless you knew what's in that person's pants, you'd never know she's "male". Once legally transitioned (with all the paperwork changed to reflect female gender), nobody that meets my daughter will see her as a freak. It is only people that knew her before, as a male, that will have problems with "her". So as long as those people continue to give her grief, yes, it will cause "psych issues", just as lifelong harrassment and judgmental ignorance against you would cause anyone some "psych issues".
You have several issues here sm
First, mortgages are no longer a wise investment. The general trend is towards home values going down, not up. You could well end up 10 years from now owing more than you can sell the house for. I have had this happen to me.
You have GOT to live within your means. If your wife is overspending, she needs help. Yes, overspending is a pathology!
Downsizing even further is probably your best solution, after your wife has addressed her issues with spending more than you have. Being house poor is a fool's journey into madness, especially because with gas prices continuing to rise, as food may be a real luxury soon.
I have downsized twice in the last 5 years, in part because my family grew up and left home, and the last time because it made economic sense. I live in an older trailer house, but it is lovely inside...warm and comfortable. Ashamed of it? NO WAY it is paid for IN FULL and MINE. It was a wise move. I am now able (and motivated) to save about 25% of my income after taxes, sometimes more and I am looking at ways to cut corners so I can save even more.
I am worried about a second Great Depression in this country, and I am not alone in my thinking. LIVE SMALL and get your wife on the same page.
Issues
Probably depends on state laws or any neighborhood covenant rules you might have. But if it is free to roam, I'm not sure if the law would see it as a pet. So then I wonder if there are laws about feeding deer. Is this one deer the only one in your neighborhood? Nobody keeps deer as pets here, but with a swamp and bits of wooded areas around, we see deer in the next neighborhood frequently. They only come into our yard and eat my hostas when there is a serious drought and their food supply diminishes.
Fencing has to be 10 feet high to control deer. Seems like the neighbors should be feeding the deer more food than they are if there is any hope of keeping it from devastating landscape plants.
Sorry for your issues...
Before I became an MT I used to work in nursing homes and assisted living. I had some elderly family as well.
I am sorry you are having this problem. Sometimes the person you are worried about does not have a grip on the reality of their situation.
My MIL lost my FIL about 9 months ago. A year before that she had her left leg amputated above the knee. Due to several issues, she is wheelchair bound and cannot do. When FIL died she was incapable of caring for herself, though she insisted that she could. It actually took her having an "incident" in order to convince her otherwise.
My grandma had to be put in a care center because she had issues similar to yours. My aunt was the one who took care of her and there was no way otherwise to do it. They tried everything, an aide to come in during the day, etc. This woman was so ticked off she didn't speak to my aunt for 2 months. She did eventually get over it.
What I think is that you need to get as many family members involved in this as you can. Make it very clear that you fear for her safety and wellbeing. If she is mad at you, let her be angry. It is not all at you. Some of it is the fact that she just cannot do things she used to do. They all go through it, kind of like a grieving period.
I have no other advice to offer you, but do stand your ground if you truly believe it is a safety issue. The guilt you feel right now is nothing compared to what you would feel if you backed down and the woman actually fell at your place and got hurt.
IMO I believe many men have issues because of their
xx
I think she has some serious issues....
--
|
