Hey anon - I posted above but will just say a line here
Posted By: Yanking my hair out on 2008-07-29
In Reply to: You should contact animal control - anon
Not calling Animal Control because they really are not cruel to their dog. Actually I think the dog should say and Animal Control should take them away. HA HA. Dogs not tied up and every once in awhile (every other day) it gets loose and they go running down the road yelling after it. Why they even have a dog I don't understand. Anyway...they are not cruel to it, they feed it, pay attention to it and it goes in their house at night to sleep. They are just fools that don't have any consideration for their neighbors and giving their neigbors some peace and quiet, but thanks for your post. Bout a year ago at a different location we had to call animal control. Neighbors at another place took off for 2 weeks and left their dog alone. We had to have PD come to see if something didn't happen to them inside the house. Come to find out those flaming imbilci!es went on a vacation and didn't make any arrangements for their dog. They had a freind look in but the friend showed up twice in two weeks. We offered them free pet sitting if they were planning to go away again.
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To ANON
Thank you.......
To another anon
OK....have a good night....
For anon...
Just for the record, I wasn't calling you names. You don't like my opinion, that's fine. I've read your previous posts though, and I don't think some of these other posters have. I was NOT calling you a weird lady, I was stating that to a 6-year-old boy you are some weird lady who is taking his daddy. You and the father were not together long enough for that child to feel any connection to you prior to the marriage, and you have shown nothing but hatred and jealousy toward the child on your weekly posts here. I would (and this is just a guess) imagine you're not all that bonding and loving with the child, so yes...he's not going to think well of you. And I still stand by my belief that a 6-year-old saying I got a slushie and you didn't isn't spiteful or in any way a malacious act. It's a 6-year-old being a 6-year-old.
I agree with anon
Just gradually let the friendship drop. When she wants to see you, tell her you're not available. If she calls to cry on your shoulder, listen for a couple of minutes and then tell her you need to get off the phone. She isn't going to change, so you have to.
BTW, someone below mentioned a friend using the fact that she is bipolar to excuse this kind of behavior. I am bipolar, and while there may be some things I don't handle as well as I would like, I have a steady job, I have been married to the same man for many years, I have a son in college, and my bills are always paid on time. But then, I always take my meds. I may not like the side effects, but I want as "normal" a life as I can have.
Anon - please get help today -
I really don't want to be an alarmist, however, we all read the news and every day there's a report of wife who disappears (or is killed by her husband.) If (and this is a big IF) he is getting worse and IF you feel threatened by his behavior - get help! Look in the white pages for social services and find a woman's help group. Only you can tell if he's getting angry and if you're frightened. If I were frightened in any way by my husband or his behavior I'd be out of there! We cannot give you any other advice than to seek advice in your community before it's too late. Again, to reiterate and make my point, it really sounds like he's into porn. There's many types of porn from the mild Playboy type to the really ugly violent porn! I hear that it becomes addicting to some people and, if that is the case here, I would seek help immediately!
So, Anon, be your own Best Friend...
and do what you know you need to do. We've all given you good advice here. There is free legal aid and counseling available all over the country, big towns and small. Act in your own best interests. Pretend that your best friend is being abused in this manner and look up the info for "her". For some reason you are reticent to do this. Are you afraid you cannot make it on your own? Are you afraid that he'll come after you? Do you think that the marriage can be saved? Do what Ann Landers always says "think about whether your life would be better or worse without him in it". If you think that it would be better without him in it then you need to make a decision to get the help you need. Don't tell him what you're thinking about doing. Don't let him find out you're making copies of necessary paperwork. This is about YOU and YOUR needs (necessities really). BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND! (Sorry about yelling - just trying to get through to you!)
Do you have kids anon?
I agree spanking should be kept to a minimum, but sometimes with younger kids it is necessary imo. When my oldest was 3 or 4 I had my cart full of groceries and my hands full and told him to stay right by my side and hold onto the cart when we cross the parking lot. He ran right out into traffic! I spanked him right there in the parking lot because I wanted him to remember to NEVER do that again. I also talked with him about once we were in the car, but some situations call for spanking imo.
Some parents never spank their kids, and good for them, but if a parent wants to smack a kid on the butt sometimes that is their business. I don't like spanking too much though because it does send a message of violence and fear, but sometimes fear is the only thing that gets through their thick skulls! I think you should give a warning first normally and not hit out of your own need to vent, but to get a message across to the child. Plus, some kids are such spoiled brats that their parents should spank. Overindulgence is also a form of abuse and will only harm the child in the longrun. So I do have mixed feelings on it, but I don't think it's fair to say that parents should never spank their kids.
reply to Anon sm
I can see where you are coming from but there is a simple answer - change the channel. There is plenty out there for everyone. I get sick of the ugliness myself but it pays the bills for the stations and it amuses small minds. You have to have a bigger set of values and flip the channel, change the station, put on some nice music, read something positive, take a walk, etc. There is an old song with the lyrics, "You gotta accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and don't mess with Mister In-between." It's all out there, you don't have to pay attention to it or you will be just like "them."
I agree with anon
He seems to just be content and getting too comfy, maybe mix it up a bit. Make sure you have eye contact with him when you are speaking to him. My hubby's personality is also kind of bully-ish and tends to come across that way, especially when he is grumpy after working all day, just like I am. I tend to take care of the house, 4 kids, the animals, etc. and work full time, so I am grumpy as well. I make sure that we get a hug in and an "I love you" daily and that seems to help. The more I have taken to doing this, the more relaxed things are in the house. Try to get an hour alone every week for just the two of you. My hubby and I make sure we get 15 minutes to talk about our day every day. Try not to take offense of what he is doing, just try something different. It sounds like your in a rut.
I did it - anon from yesterday (sm)
It's all reported and official. Now I don't feel so alone. I don't want to get into a big discussion on here in case he is checking to see if I posted anything...but it's all documented by the right people and they have my back. Starting my kids in counselling there as well. I feel my backbone growing back :-) If you have replies please reply to the orginal post below...don't want it to be right up top again, just in case. Thanks for all the words of wisdom and encouragement yesterday.
i care anon,
and i am sure many others do to, but don't know how to help. i never read your previous post below until now. difficult times cause us to grow personally and adds to our character. nothing was ever gained (or made easier) by giving up. you have to hang in there. i really don't have much to offer either, except to suggest that you go the emergency room for treatment. Worry about the cost later. there are so many sources of help available, social services, etc, pantries, shelters, help phone lines. Your true source of help is God above. Learn about him, pray, devote your life to him. call a minister. I would suggest to speak to someone at the church of Christ; ask for spiritual counseling. There are many who would love the opportunity to help. i wish you the best.
I care too, anon!
Please contact me by e-mail if you just need someone to talk to....or someone to listen to you. My heart goes out to you. We are all very concerned about you and care very much, but the anonymity of this board is frustrating. We can't reach out and hug you like we would like to! Please know that we do still care and think about you often!
Thank you for responding, sm and anon...
I didn't know about not having to pay those fees. This time I really did some homework as far as the dealer's list price versus MRSP, etc. The confidence thing needs work, though. My last 3 cars lasted 10 years, so I don't get a lot of practice with this.
Yes, like I said, by all means go to Al-Anon. sm
You work the Al-Anon program for yourself and not for the alcoholic. You'll be more than glad you did. Not to necessarily save your marriage, but to save YOURSELF.
Anon poster, do you have any idea...
HOW HILARIOUS THAT WAS?! Oh my god! That post is truly a hidden jewel and I hope others read it!
I'd prefer to stay mainly anon except to say
I recently relocated to Texas (I have a few co-workers/friends that visit these boards and I really don't want them to know about my daughter's situation, it's rather embarassing to me).
I'm very angered with the school system. Not just this situation but also the special ed stuff going on with my son. The district my kids are in seems too busy to really want to deal with the parent. That's why I know if I marched down there tomorrow about my daughter's punishment, I'd get nowhere but have a headache. It's just not worth it to me right now, as I'm so very busy and with the holidays, it all stinks, ya know.
Thanks for listening.
Anon said 'stupider' is NOT EVEN a word.
IT IS A WORD, BOTH can be used!
Can't you even read, go back and read her post!
Well, I am European and I use British English, where English originated.
There are a lot of people who say that American English is not even English!
Glad to burst your bubble!
You are the stupidest!
True Anon, but Christ is being removed out of everything and that isn't right either.
t
Calling AA will do you no good. You need to call Al-Anon.
nm
Attention: Anon....website for stepmoms
Anon,
I read your post about your stepson. I just wanted to let you know that I belong to a wonderful website that allows stepmoms to talk about their issues, give advice, share positives thoughts, vent, etc. I have learned a lot from the wonderful ladies on there. Here is the website if your are interested.
www.stepsforstepmothers.com
thank you, anon. And this, Philly, is why your posts are inappropriate.
nm
Nobody loves you when you're down - anon from a few days ago (sm)
So after telling my story and getting some really nice encouragement from some people and getting bashed by others, and having friends and church leaders encourage me to report all that was going on in my home, I have the sinking feeling that once I did what I was told to do it was like, "good luck with that." I can't get any guarantees or promises from anyone I have talked to yet. I am worse off than I was before and scared to death.
To anon..She was trying to explain to the rest of us in simple terms...sm
how mares foal, bkz most of us don't have the opportunity to see that. You don't even know how many horses and other animals Hayseed has and cares for every day!
I suggest you apologize immediately.  Cat
Are you the Anon who was worried abt possibly violence or hubby taking your kids? m
Best of luck to you for taking the steps to change your life. I wish you well.
I would buy it on line
and have it shipped
I am not sure it is so out of line...
I am 30 years old and I shared a bus with high school kids in Kindergarten. We also got two weeks off at Christmas and one week off for spring break. I think that this is fairly common. Also, when I was in sixth grade, the school district began charging a "bus fee" and we had to buy a bus pass or our parents had to drive us to school. I think the fee was $150 per semester. We had minimum days every other Wednesday and teacher inservices once a month. This all seems normal to me, but I understand that different places work differently, but I would not find this so strange.
Along this same line...
With the unemployment rate at 10% where I live I am shocked at the people who DO have a job - poor service, bad attitude, just downright stupid people. If jobs are so hard to come by, why are these people being hired and how do they keep their jobs?
Crossing the line...
I don't think so. What age should we start teaching our children responsibility? I said she forgot her lunch ONCE...and she never forgot again. (Besides, she eats about 2 bites of it anyway, so it's not like she was starved that day. And she had morning and afternoon snack provided by the school.) I'm a tough mom, but I'm not about to neglect my children's basic needs.
Needing a coat in blizzard type weather...well, here again I'm sure we will differ on opinion. You go from the heated house to heated car, from the heated car to heated school building. (And I'm sure my child would be resouceful enough to find antoher coat/sweater/jacket that she might have around to wear.)
No, I do not forget things. I make lists to make sure I never walk out of the house without something I need. I do not have time to be running back and forth for something I forgot, our family has a very tight schedule and return trips home are not an option. If, for some reason I ever do forget something, I'm sure I'll survive and move on wih my day and life.
Our children are all straight A students (all 3 speak/read at least 3 languages, even the 4 yo.), they two older ones are honor society members, they all belong to competitive atheletic teams, and they are contributing members to our Temple and our community, so I think we have done pretty darn well them.
I dropped you a line by the way, and yes -sm
you can email if you'd like. Probably a lot of guys out there like ours.
We have a life line
We have a life line you can get through your local hospital probably. There is a "base" connected to the phone. She can wear a necklace or a pin. If she needs help, she pushes it and believe me you will hear it, it says, "help call in progress, help call in progress". Someone will pick up and ask if you guys need help. You can answer, no we have it now, or yes we need help. It is approximately 40.00 a month. This is also good when you want to go out and she has to be alone.
My DH glances at it now and then on-line - sm
but he does not troll the sites much, he certainly does not take care of any business while on the computer, though he does have video tapes I know he uses now and then on the rare times he is home alone. A friend of his gives him Playboys and Penthouse as well about 2 x a year (lives in another state and saves them for him), again he does not "use" them, but does look at them. I have never felt threatened by them, they are not physically with him, I am, all they are are 2D pictures. As for the lesbian thing, that is a fantasy I think just about every guy has, being with 2 girls/lesbians, you get the picture. They might fantasize about it but if the opp every came up I bet 95% would run, I know mine would. If your BF has lots of it though on his computer he may have a problem he won't admit to though. You can always ask him about it but be prepared for him to explode at what he will see as you snooping on his computer, which you appear to be guilty of. I never look on my DHs computer unless he asks me to check or do something on it and he stays away from mine as well. I presume you will have to talk to him about this and I hope it goes okay for you.
Because that it just the subject line..sm
you are supposed to use the message space for the entire message, not the subject line. duh.
line counts
POST MOVED TO COMPANY BOARD
I met my husband on-line...sm
We were matched through eHarmony.com. We were married last June and he's definitely my perfect match!
You know what, I just read on line that this is probably what is sm
going on. I can't believe I haven't caught on before that he is jealous. At least now I can find a solution to this problem.
I did talk to him about it again tonight in a very respectful and helpful manner and told him not to be embarrassed. He said he just likes to pretend to be a baby again....My husband isn't home right now, but when he returns later we will discuss this problem. Thanks!
Have you heard the line about how
you should take care of those things in the morning before you come to work? I've had to explain that not everybody's body works like clockwork. How convenient when it does!
When I was little I was appalled to hear that some people went every day. I wondered how in the world they could stand to have all that pain and spend 30 minutes in the bathroom every day. I had no idea that normal people didn't take that long or have all that pain that you do if you only go once a week.
A penny per line does add up! (nm)
x
The man in grocery line who said anything to me
would have not liked what he heard from me then. I am way past the age of caring what I say and whether I would be offending and would have used, probably the F word, (yes I do use that when I get that ticked off)when he had such nerve as to say something when I was trying to feed my babies. I have never had anyone that rude to state unsolicitated remarks to me regarding them but they would really get an earful if they did. I might be kicked out of the store, oh well....
Goin' to the end of the line!
How they handled Roy Orbison's passing in that video was so tasteful.
Okay, you Bob Dylan fans, here's a vid for you. This is the one my little girl likes because he looks "mad" when he sings.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKu31q9SBbA&mode=related&search= (I'm not sure how link it!)
And my husband is the first in line
Every year he goes out shopping in the early morning hours to pick up something that's on sale. Me, I'm sound asleep. When he comes back I'll get up and then we'll go shopping later in the morning. It's tradition for us.
its hard to tell enough on line, but not all
men who have anger and other problems are serious abusers; they are men with their own baggage that affects their behavior. Mine was one. The first 10-15 years were pretty rough, but these last 10 and esp the last 5 are great -- he's in control, learned to be considerate, etc etc. I agree how bad it is for the children. But our 2 daughters have turned out fine; one married to a wonderful guy with well-raised children of their own, and the other has graduated professional school, working a dream job and going for several years with a great guy. A woman has to make her own judgment calls as to the true nature of their problems/relationship/safety and whether there is hope or not. I just don't think you can rubberstamp these marriages as all doomed.
bottom line
The bottom line is the rules. We all have rules. We all have choices. There are consequences to our choices. That is life. Whether or not you agree to the rules and/or the consequenes is irrelevant.
If one does not like the idea of a teacher getting his/her jollies out of paddling a female student, then one must keep that in mind when choosing to break a rule.
There were 2 choices of punishment here and, one of which was not corporal, but IMO missing class would hurt your daughter more in the long run. I do think she made the right choice and I also think it was wise to tell her that next time she'll have to miss class.
It's so easy as parents to set rules and consequences and not follow through with the consequences, but in an environment with hundreds and sometimes thousands of students, teachers/administrators must follow through or there would be no education.
I'm not saying the punishment fits the crime here, but after the fact is too late.
It's obvious that you completely understand the above because you are not arguing the unfairness of the punishment, but anxiety over your child. Any good parent would feel that way.
I'm just posting this in response to the posts that argue against corporal punishment. I don't agree with it either just for the record. There are laws I don't agree with but guess what? In the real world, I break a law I don't agree with and I get punished.
I hope you slept well and all went well today (Monday). Please post a followup.
Did you try Kohl's on line? nm
nm
Your last line made me
And I really, REALLY needed to laugh today...Thanks, Hayseed! BTW, I bet you'd be an AWESOME mom (you can adopt me if you want!)
Can you renew on line?
I just learned that even here in podunk Maine, we can renew on line so long as the last time we had our picture taken it was done in digital format. Since mine was only 4 years ago, it was! I was stoked to say the least. I just logged in to the registry site, punched in my license number, paid with my bank card, and got my new license in the mail in about a week! Same picture as 4 years ago, which is fine by me, and I'm good to go for another 4 years (or maybe it's 6 now...I've forgotten already). Far less traumatic if it's available to you. Or maybe it is and you just like the masochistic punishment of going to the DMV.
Been there. I met 2 guys on line when I was
first divorced. The first one I went out with 3 times, he decided he wasn't interested because he "couldn't spend the night." The second one just totally creeped me out and so I just told him I wasn't interested. No need to let something like that drag on. It took me 2 years, but when I least expected it, I finally met the perfect guy and we have now been together 8+ years. Just keep looking, no need to tie yourself down to the first one you meet. Let him know you would like to remain friends.
I know about the teenager part. My mother who was 60 at the time told me I was acting like a teenager more after I divorced than I did when I was one. Just have fun and someone right for you will come along.
Go on-line to JMS - Just My Size sm
great selection, comfortable, plus they have workout clothes.
I hope I'm not out of line by asking this,
but would it be possible for you to watch them 2-3 hours after school? Or even just your grandson? I'm so scared for both of them right now. I have an 11-yo, an 8-yo and an almost 6-yo. The only 1 I ever leave alone is my 11-yo and that's only to run errands in the town we live in. I also make sure that he has my cell phone # and I tell the lady next door just in case. I never leave him more than an hour. There's no way I would leave my 8-yo watch my 6-yo. He can't even wipe his own butt, let alone take care of a 6-yo. What are these parents thinking. Saving money is not worth the possible disaster that could happen.
I think, no matter how hard it may be, that you need to tell them that they need to get a babysitter for these children. If you don't intervene, something terrible could happen to either 1 of these children. I would probably address this with your son (I'm assuming he's in a relationship with the mother of your 6-yo GS).
If they refuse to do so, then I would definitely report them to social services. If they threaten to keep your GS from you, you do have rights. You could take them to family court. I know it would be hard to do, but I think it would be even harder if something happened to your GS because you didn't report it.
I'll be praying for the safety of these little ones while you sort things out with the parents. I hope nothing happens to them in the meantime. Take care.
I would give it all to the guy who let me in line.
If he offered to share a little or buy me a nice steak from the store, etc., I wouldn't refuse. But he should have gotten it, and so it's his, IMO. I didn't come into the store expecting to have $500 given to me, so I'm not out anything.
If you're not using your line sm
When I don't want to be disturbed, I just dial my own number and they get a busy signal. They know I'm home but can't be disturbed for one reason or another. If he's truly suicidal then you have to get his doctor involved, I guess, that's a tough one. If you're using your line for the Internet as well then that's another story. Sounds like a desperate situation only a medical professional can deal with and they can only do so much. I think a man-to-man with your husband is in order, if he'll do it. Good luck with it, it must be very hard for you.
I use H and R block on line
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